A/N:

I know, It's been over a year. I have no real excuses. I was in my senior year in college last year, and I was just never inspired enough to finish a chapter. I wrote small portions of chapters, but ironically, they have no part in what ended up being this chapter. I'll probably use them later, but this is primarily a dialog chapter. Sorry, but once again the story kind of switches gears. In previous chapters, it was all recollection. Now, because Soul Society is involved, dialog is needed. I'm hoping that this chapter isn't too much of a disruption from the previous style-it just needed to happen. And by the way, I did clean up some previous chapters. Nothing really changed though, so no worries. For once, I feel excited to go through this journey with these characters. This is the start of what might be a rather long and painful journey. As always, reviews are awesome. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Memoirs Chapter 8: Into the Dark

Hope is a waking dream …

I woke up to a very unpleasant sound. The sound of unfamiliar voices assaulted my pounding head. I opened my eyes and immediately regretted it. The light was absolutely blinding.

I blinked. Once, twice, three times. Instead of seeing the wood ceiling above me I expected, I saw an unfamiliar high ceiling. The light was too bright and I knew that there weren't enough windows in my room to produce this much light. I closed my eyes again.

I licked my lips. I wiggled my toes and fingers, but nothing feels the same.

My lips are too dry, my toes are too warm and my fingers are too raw. This isn't my room.

This isn't my home. I can tell that much in darkness. But the darkness doesn't keep out the sounds I hear and feelings that surround me.

It wasn't a dream. Even if I could deny this, the whispers around me scream it loud and clear.

It wasn't just like waking up in a new room after a horrible disaster, it was like waking up wondering if you were in the same body. Nothing about me felt the same. My head was certainly in a fog, but there was something undeniably different about waking up. Something had changed, but whatever it was, I couldn't identify it. I probably couldn't even if I had wanted to-my head was pounding and something about the atmosphere in the room told me that the time to reminisce and accept and learn what had happened was not yet here. All I could think of, was that I was in danger.

This room is loud. Too loud.

What's the diagnosis?

Get him to the recovery room. There are too many patients waiting.

Division Five has ten injured officers on the way from training.

Does this hurt? Around just your midsection or in your back too?

I'm going to lunch. Fourth division work is exhausting. I'd much rather be filling out paperwork.

But suddenly, a voice cuts through the whispers.

"Are you going to pretend you're asleep all day?"

My eyes shot open. And then shut. The light was still blinding. But I could see someone there. A girl? I opened my eyes again, trying to get them to adjust to the light.

The girl was standing to the left of where I was. Her arms were crossed, her dark eyes show me nothing, and her dark hair cascades down her shoulder in tresses partially hiding a completely black uniform. A shinigami uniform.

Realizing who she was, I sat straight up and immediately felt the horrifying pain. I didn't see her move, but she was suddenly beside me. Her arms were on my shoulders as I doubled over in agony. But honestly, I didn't care. I didn't care where I was, or who she was, or even who all these people were that wouldn't stop talking. I'd never felt such a horrible pain in my entire life. It was like my body was on fire. Every bone, ligament, and muscle in my body cried out in pain. The girl's voice, which was once crystal clear, now faded to a mere murmur. I realized that I really was badly injured. The room was obviously some sort of healing ward. Suddenly, her voice, strong, loud, and powerful, grabbed my attention. And strangely, as she spoke, the pain ever so slightly started to fade away.

Her hands, still on my shoulders, felt as if they were sucking the pain out of my body.

"You've been injured. You're in Seireitai's fourth division. I'm trying to heal you, but you're not letting me."

By this time, she took her hands off my shoulders and gruffly positioned me so that I must look into her eyes. Fierce, cold, unyielding eyes. Determined eyes.

"I'm trying to help you. Using your power to shield yourself from help is ridiculous. You're obviously hurting."

For the first time in a long while, I felt like laughing. She must be joking. Power?

"Just … relax, okay?"

I looked up at her with knowledge and determination of my own. "I don't have any powers."

She smiled. Not a warm smile, but a knowing one. A cocky one. I don't think I like this person.

"Yes you do." Suddenly her cocky smiles warmed a few degrees. I opened my mouth to argue, but I suddenly felt better. She must have seen my eyes widen. Her smile brightened even more.

"Distraction is also an acceptable method of getting a person to relax".

Somehow I doubt being distracted is the same thing as relaxation. I took my eyes off her and for the first time, took notice of my surroundings.

The room was a very large one. I was on one of many beds in this white room. It's very obviously a hospital of some sort. I couldn't help but wonder why these people had such an obsession with the color white. The beds were white, the pillows were white, and room was white. The patients, however, weren't. They were dressed as she was. Black shinigami uniforms. I suddenly felt incredibly small in this room full of powerful people.

I always stared at the walls of the white city in awe and fear. The mere thought that I was within the impenetrable walls brought me fear.

I backed up on my bed, the wall as close to my back as I could manage.

Impenetrable. I can't go back. To my previous life-to him.

Memories and regret simply fill me. I wasn't thinking about it a moment ago. I was concentrating on the pain. But now, I can't escape it. And this is no time for fear.

I sharply looked up from the white sheets. The girl was just standing there studying me, deep in thought.

"Do you know why you're here?" She asked, an unreadable expression on her face.

I straightened and took a breath. This was no time to bow down to any shinigami. This was most certainly not the best situation for me. I was within their city and what they would do with me was anyone guess. One thing, however was clear to me: I must make it back to Hitsugaya Toushiro. No matter what. The obvious problem, of course, was that I had no idea where he could be.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation, don't let anyone overpower you.

His words, spoken long ago, came instantly back to me. And he was right.

"Yes." I spoke slowly and confidently. Just be like Shiro-chan I thought to myself. He was the greatest strength that I had ever known. "I am in Seireitai because of what happened at the orphanage." The worst thing I could do is to come across as weak. As I learned from Shiro-chan, those who are the easiest to control will end up in the worst situation. I had to be strong willed and show them that I was not going to be controlled.

She studied each and every movement I made. It felt like she could look into my very soul and just know who I was. Like it didn't matter how much I tried to be strong, she simply knew that I was weak.

Her position changed. She relaxed a little and stared at me with her unyieldingly cold eyes.

"I'm not your enemy you know." She said.

"But you're not my friend either" I replied. It was true. As I knew before, I did not like this person and I had to go with my instincts here. She put me at a disadvantage and I had to somehow remedy that.

A smile appeared suddenly on her face as she cocked her head slightly.

"How do you know?" She asked, seemingly both slightly amused and intrigued.

Well that was a loaded question if I ever heard one. I felt my heart rate speed up. What would happen from here, I knew, depended on how I answered her question.

I looked up sharply and said "My friend once told me that you have less than a second to make an impression on people. I don't know many shinigami, but living in an orphanage, I've met lots of people. Some had good intentions and some had bad intentions. The worst ones, I noticed, tried to be my friend more than anyone else. You don't do that, so I know you don't have 100% bad intentions." I paused for a moment, glanced at my sheets and then looked straight into her eyes. "However … your smile doesn't reach your eyes. You're trying to appear friendly but you're not. You healed me because someone probably told you to keep an eye on me. Healing simply came along with that order. You feel a bit of contempt towards me, because this is not your division. I've lived with lots of people. I know that look. You feel that this is below you. But someone within these great walls probably sees me as being critical to what happen back home. How I am critical, however, I have no idea"

What began as a fake smile on her face slowly became a real smile. I was stunned. For a small moment, the ice melted and her smile matched the enthusiasm reflected in eyes. She chuckled in a most modest way. And then, the moment was gone. Her face turned serious, but the amusement stayed even though the ice had returned.

"You are quite right Hinamori Momo. This division is not mine. And I am quite glad to see that you are no fool. But you are not in a particularly good position. A higher up has taken an interest in you. He's had an interest in you for quite some time."

To say the least, I was dumbfounded. Why would any shinigami, let alone a higher up have an interest in me? I chose my next words carefully.

"What do you mean by 'taken an interest' in me? To Seireitai, I'm a nobody. I live in an orphanage."

She once again chuckled, but the ice came at full force towards me. Her eyes were filled with an unreadable emotion. She was hesitating. There was something very important here. I waited and she finally spoke.

"Orphanages aren't exactly of no concern to us. As you said, many different people go through orphanages. Every so often, a person of, shall we say talent, arrives. You—" we were suddenly interrupted. A large man of large proportions was suddenly beside my bed. The commotion of the room was suddenly halted and the room filled with a heavy yet eerie silence. His scruffy face and giant proportions did not sit well with me. Like the others, he too wore a black shinigami uniform, but it was also adorned with a long white robes. The robes seemed to have some sort of rank significance. The robes were also decorated with symbols I could not understand. His face, unlike hers, seethed contempt. He stared long at her, silently communicating what I could only assume as a horrendous reprimand. Suddenly he turned to me.

His eyes burrowed into me. I have never met another person who could make me feel as small, weak, and as hopeless as this man did. I wasn't even looking into his eyes and I still felt as if I'd been hit with a metal bat. His manner said one thing and one thing only.

You are of no significance and you will do as you are told, outsider.

His gruff voice rang out and I flinched away from it.

"I hope you have enjoyed your stay as a guest in the lowly fourth division. It is the only courtesy you will be given, I assure you." Every word was like a drop of poison. He was big and I was small, and I knew this man would squash me like a bug if given the chance. "You will not speak to another person. You will do absolutely everything you are told.

You will answer the council's questions and if you play you play your cards right, the council will elect not to kill you. Understand little girl?" I nodded vigorously. "Your meeting is tomorrow." Glancing towards the girl who currently had a blank expression, he said "this scum will watch you. You've had quite a chit-chat I see. Not. Another. Word."He looked to both of us as we both nodded.

"Good" And just as quickly he appeared, he also disappeared. The room was still silent. Every shinigami was staring at us. Some with sympathy, some with fear, some with dislike. Her voice, which by now sounded almost heavenly, rang out in anger, interrupting the silence.

"What the hell are you looking at? Back to work!"

I laid down, faced away from her. She was right. I was not in a good position at all.