Jarad had first met the warden personally in a bar in downtown Seattle, but he had known about the warden for much longer then that. The warden was Jarad's idol the one he looked up to more then anyone else. In Jarad's eyes, he was the perfect person. He used his genius skills to lock away bag guys and prevented them from just running loose on the streets. Kind of like a superhero. Jarad would die just to meet him, but he was a poor, sickly child , form a poor family, living a poor life, with a poor future ahead of him. His mother was an abusive druggie, and was almost always out at bars, or on blind dates, but she was seldom ever home. As for his father, Jarad never knew him, though he didn't blame him for leaving his mother. So honestly, his future didn't look too bright, and even dimmer was the chance that he would ever get to meet his childhood idol.
Then, at fifteen, Jarad had had enough. He packed up a few clothes and all of his money and ran away from his home, hoping to leave his life behind him and start up a new one. Unfortunately, he failed royally, and ended up washing dishes at a local downtown bar. He knew his life would never improve if he just stayed there, working for minimal wage, surrounded by drunks every hour of every day, but he didn't have any experience doing anything else, so he stayed at the bar, and hoped for some miracle to appear out of thin air and carry him away to a better place. That was probably the worst wish he had ever made. Because, unknowing to him, it was going to come true... Well, part of it anyway.
One fateful day, Jarad was late to work, but when he got there, he saw someone that he knew very well. Not personally, but regardless, he knew him. His vibrant purple overcoat and purple top hat made him hard to miss in the dark, rugged bar. Not that he was trying to hide who he was. Actually, it was quite the opposite.
The warden was desperate, that much was obvious. He had reverted to searching the disgusting downtown area for job applicants. He almost gagged as he entered the last little building on the end of the block. It was a small, downtown bar, with the unmistakable stench of alcohol, sweat, and men who hadn't showered in months.
"Hello gentlemen!" He chimed, forcing himself to smile as he entered the rundown establishment. "And how are we all doing this fine day?" A couple of the more sober people grunted answers that the warden didn't bother to respond to.
"Hello warden." Sighed the bartender, who happened to know the warden quite well. "How's Super Jail runnin'?" The warden slid into a bar stool in front of the counter.
"Hey Joel. Not good, I'm afraid." Joel nodded.
"Anything change sense I was there." The warden laughed softly.
"Yaaaa, but not for the better. I just lost all of my employees to an explosion that took out half of Super Jail."
"Staff meeting?"
"Yup."
"Really?" Joel thought for a moment. "Didn't that happen...oh, what was it, four, five years ago?"
"Yes... And if my memory recalls, you were in on the plot." Joel smiled.
"Yeaaaah... Good times, good times." He picked up a glass and began to clean it. "So. To what do we owe this honer? It's not every day that we get a visit from the warden of Super Jail."
"Actually..." The warden turned around in his seat to face the crowd of people that were packed in the small bar, and raised his voice so everyone could hear him. "I'm looking for people willing to help me run Super Jail!"
Jarad stepped passed the door, and closed it behind him, keeping his eyes on the warden. It seemed that he was talking to Joel, his boss, but he couldn't make out what they were saying over the noise of the conversation that the other costumers at the bar were engaged in. He knew that he should say something, or go over there or...
"Just do something!" He muttered to himself. But he seemed to be frozen in place, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move. Suddenly, the warden turned around in his seat, smiled, and spread his arms.
"I'm looking for people to help me run Super Jail!" Everyone in the bar stopped talking, many, spilled their drinks, some, even gasped.
Almost everyone knew about Super Jail, but everyone knew about the warden. Most of the people at that bar stayed out of trouble because of him, and not because he was such a good roll model. No. They stayed out of trouble because they feared him. Horrible stories had circulated around Seattle many times over, passed by the few escapees of Super Jail about the warden and his torture chambers. So, when the warden asked if anyone wanted a job at Super Jail, it was expected that everyone would freeze up. Jarad didn't. This was his chance, and he knew it. Jarad scampered up to the karaoke stage, picked up the microphone, flicked it on, and put it to his mouth.
"U...Ummm... M...Mr. Warden?"
The warden put his hands down, the smile melting off of his face. Apparently, no one wanted to help. A small mummer of conversation started back up in the bar. Joel chuckled.
"Sorry warden, no one here is ready to die yet." The warden sighed. Of cores he had anticipated this. It had gone this way at the last 35 places of business that he had visited. He was about to get up, when he heard a voice.
"U... Ummm... M...Mr. Warden?" The warden looked up. A strange, big headed man stood up on the karaoke stage, microphone in hand. Joel raised an eyebrow and muttered,
" This ought to be interesting."
Jarad was so nervous, he was trembling. The microphone in his hand wouldn't stay still, as he tried to concentrate on what he was going to say. "I...I'll work f...for you." There was an immediate silence, then, the entire bar erupted with laughter. Jarad almost laughed with them, but then he realized that they were laughing at him. He hung his head, dropped the microphone, and began to walk off of the stage.
The warden's expression became angry. He stood up, struck his cane sharply against the ground and shouted,
"Enough!" Everyone stopped laughing. He looked back at the man on the stage. "Go on." The big headed man looked at back at him, a slight touch of confusion on his face. The warden smiled encouragingly. The man offered a nervous smile back, and was just about to open his mouth to say something when,
"You're not seriously considering hiring him, are you?" A drunk blurted out.
"Yeah," Another one said. "He's useless." Someone chuckled.
"You'd have a better chance hiring a chimpanzee from the zoo than hiring him." Joel sighed.
"Come on guys, give Jarad a chance."
"Why?" The drunk that had blurted out before shouted. "It's not like he has one!" The bar erupted into laughter again. The warden watched as tears welled up in the little man's eyes, and spilled over, onto his cheeks.
"Well I think he has a fine chance at working at MY Superjail!" The bar became quiet again as all of the drunks turned to stare at the warden in disbelief. Joel put his hand on the warden's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, warden, but they're rite. Jarad just isn't good at anything." The warden frowned.
"Everyone's good at something, he just hasn't found it yet!" He turned his attention to Jarad once again. "So tell me. What are you good at?"
Jarad could feel the tears coming. He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't help it. Hearing all of those people reminded him that he was a nobody in a somebody's world. That he couldn't amount to anything. That heck, he couldn't even get a good job, much less hope to land himself in a position working in Superjail. With that realization, he stopped fighting back the tears that threatened to spill out, and let them fall onto his cheeks. He turned back toward the small stairs that lead off of the stage, head down, prepared to walk out of the bar and never come back, when a voice cut through the laughter.
"Well I think he has a fine chance at working at MY Superjail!" Jarad's head whipped up, an astonished look on his face. The bar became silent again and he heard Joel say,
"I'm sorry, warden, but they're rite. Jarad just isn't good at anything."
"Everyone's good at something, he just hasn't found it yet!" The warden exclaimed in his defense. A hopeful smile formed on Jarad's face. Maybe he still had a chance at this.
"So tell me. What are you good at?" The smile fell from Jarad's face, and his body went rigid. Good at?
"W...Well... I..." Jarad heard a few people snicker something and a few other people laugh quietly. Jarad's expression became hard, his mind determined. Here was his chance to prove to his idol that he was worth something, and all he could think about was what all of the stupid drunks at a stupid bar thought of him.
"I...I'm good at math..." Jarad finally said. His voice was still soft but most of the quiver was gone and there was ample amount of determination behind his words.
"I...I'm good at math..." The warden flourished a grand smile. Now they were getting somewhere.
"Well see? That's something!"
"Yeah." Someone else shouted. "He's also good at karaoke!" More laughter.
"Really?!" The warden's eyes lit up. People stopped laughing, and turned toward the warden again. He was truly fascinated. "Show me!"
Jarad began to tremble. The warden wanted him to...sing? "Last chance!" A voice in his head screamed. Jarad walked back over to the microphone that he had dropped, picked it up, put it in his mouth, and began to sing. Jarad, as it turned out, had a lovely voice and a great knack for remembering song lyrics. Unfortunately, he passed out halfway through the song in a small panic attack.
Hours later, Jarad woke to find himself on carpeted floor. He sat up and groaned lightly, reaching up to rub his head, which hurt slightly.
"Oh! You're awake!" Jarad looked over to see the warden sitting at a desk, smiling at Jarad. Behind him, a large window let him view an expanse of the inside of the greatest jail ever. Super Jail.
"M...Mr. Warden..." Jarad stood up.
"Nope!" The warden cut him off. "That's Mr. Warden sir to you!"
"Oh, um, Mr. Warden sir..." The warden laughed. "I like you already Jarad! You're hysterical!"
"Oh..." Jarad decided to take that as a complement. "T...Thank you sir..." He paused for a moment. "Thank you for helping me back there. At the bar, I mean. If there's any way I can repay you..." The warden laughed again.
"Repay me!? Oh, Jarad, you really are funny! You have all eternity to repay me!" Jarad looked at him, confused.
"I'm sorry sir, I don't quite understand..." The warden jumped out of his bed in a way that seemed to defy every law of gravity and physics at once, until he was only feet away from Jarad.
"Jarad, you're hired!" Jarad was silent, his mind processing the information that the warden had just given him.
"Hired? Here?" The smile fell from the warden's face.
What? You don't want the job?" Jarad's eyes got huge.
"N...NO!! I mean...What I meant was... No... I mean yes! Yes! I do want the job! More than anything!"
"Oh! Good!" The warden looked revealed. "I was worried there for a second!"
"Wow, do you want me here that much?"
"Meh," The warden shrugged. "I like you! Plus, it would be hard for me to find another willing applicant for Super Jail's accountant after what happened to the last one." Jarad blinked..
"W...What happened to the last one?"
"Terr able tragedy I'm afraid. No matter. I'm sure it won't happen to you" The warden's smile turned cunning, almost snakelike and Jarad shuttered. "As long as you're careful, that is, not to mess up too badly. I really would hate for what happened to our last accountant to happen to you." Jarad's spirits fell. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea after all.
He had no idea.