A/N: I had a dream that Sasuke was Superman. And thus this fic was born!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Superman, Catwoman, Batman, or the Incredible Hulk.

"Sasuke-kun's like Superman. From afar, he's a guy that's afraid of green rocks. But once you get to know him, he's a superhero!"

"Why is Teme afraid of green rocks?"

My Superman

"I think Teme would make a better villain than hero."

"No, he needs to be the hero. If he was the villain, the good-guys would get their asses whipped."

"Catwoman is so hot."

"Dobe. Do you have a thing for girls in leather?"

"Uhh..."

"He's rendered speechless at the thought of Hinata in a skin-tight leather outfit."

"Sakura-chan! Why are you siding with Teme!?" Naruto whined.

Sakura smirked. "Because it's probably true."

"Sakura-chan! You-you traitor!" He wailed.

Sasuke sighed. "Shut up, Dobe. You're giving me a headache."

Naruto's head shot towards him. "You probably have a headache because everything you see is blurry since you need glasses."

He scowled. "I don't need glasses."

"I think you should get glasses." Sakura piped in.

"Only because then you could call him Superman."

"Naruto!" She said exasperatedly, "Are you kidding me? Sasuke can't compete with Superman's sexiness!"

Both their jaws dropped simultaneously.

"What?" Naruto snarled.

"Yeah," She continued, "I mean, if Sasuke were to wear spandex that showed off his muscles, maybe he would be hotter than Superman..."

Sasuke scowled. "Spandex? Like Lee?"

Sasuke. In green spandex. Sakura burst into hysterical laughter.

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You think Lee is hot because he wears spandex?"

Sakura immediately sobered up and regarded him with horror. "No!" She seethed. "I think Sasuke should wear spandex because than I could see his abs!"

Sasuke smirked. "You want to see my abs?" he asked. He put his hands to the hem of his shirt and lifted it off in one swift motion. Sakura was blinded for a moment before she blushed furiously.

"Eww! Teme! You're scrawny! No one wants to see you shirtless!" Naruto cried, shielding his eyes.

His eye twitched. "Scrawny?"

"I don't think you're scrawny."

"But you're also the one that thinks that Lee is hot!" Naruto shot back at her.

"Lee is probably the sweetest person in the Fire Country, BUT I DO NOT THINK HE IS HOT!"

Sasuke smirked. "Right, but you think Batman's hot."

She smiled sheepishly. "Anyone in a mask is hot."

Both male's eyes widened. "So you think," Naruto began slowly. "That Kakashi-sensei is hot?"

Sakura grinned. "Yup."

"I think I'm hot, too."

All three of their heads whipped towards the new voice. Kakashi stood there, reading his little orange book, and even though they couldn't see him smirking, they felt it.

Sakura's eyes widen. "Ka-Kakashi-sensei...?"

"Don't worry, Sakura!" he said, his visible eye crinkling in amusement. "I think you're hot, too!"

Sasuke growled. "What are you, a pedophile?"

Kakashi's head turned towards Sasuke. He was silent for a moment. "Sasuke, have you always been this scrawny?" he asked, tilting his head to the side as if he was examining a piece of art.

Sasuke scowled as Naruto laughed manically.

Sakura glared at her old sensei. "Sasuke is NOT scrawny."

"Sakura, Sakura." Kakashi said, ruffling her hair. "And you're hair is not pink."

"And your temper isn't as bad as the Incredible Hulk's." Naruto added on sarcastically.

Sakura's eye twitched. "Excuse me?"

"Don't worry Sakura-chan!" Naruto said cheerfully. "Even if you turned into a huge, ugly, green monster, I'll still think you're pretty!"

"Tch. Dobe. Do you have a death wish?"

"TEME! WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Apparently he's as deaf as you are blind." Kakashi said to Sasuke, lazily turning a page in his book.

"ERG! That's it! I'm getting ramen!" Naruto thundered, stomping away.

The remaining members of Team Seven watched the blond until he was out of sight. "Well," Kakashi said, closing his book for the first time. "I'll leave you two alone. Later!" He disappeared into a puff of smoke.

They stood in awkward silence for a while, both fully realizing what their old sensei had meant by 'leave you two alone.' They were in a secluded area with a very shirtless Sasuke. Sakura was going to take full advantage of the situation.

"Hey, Sasuke?" She said slyly, leaning towards him.

"Hn?"

"I think you'd make a better superhero than Superman."

He smirked.

"Sasuke-kun is definitely a superhero."

"... Why?"

"He has superpowers."

"Too much info, Sakura-chan. Way too much info."

A/N: Review? Please?