A.N. Okay, I know I haven't updated in ages but I hope this chapter makes up for it. I haven't really edited it or read it through but you know those chapters that you just write in one hour and everything seems to flow? Well that was this chapter so I hope it's okay, please review! It will make the next chapter come out quicker :)

Disclaimer: Only Kiara.

The words going through Ziva's mind changed. Instead of Emily's voice, 'How do you know Kiara, Ziva?', she had Kiara's smaller voice swirling around and around in her mind. 'You're my best friend Ziva."

Best friend.

She wanted more than anything to be Kiara's best friend a few hours ago, wanted the little girl to love her as much as possible but now that she had said it, Ziva was worrying. If she was Kiara's best friend how would the girl grow up? Ziva was very independent but even when she was young she relied on her friends to make her happy and keep her strong. She remembered her best friend from school. Naomi. As much as Ziva wanted to think she was strong enough she had lost count of the times Naomi had helped her through things, even if it was just with a hug. She remembered how she would always come over after school and they would do homework together, Ziva helping Naomi with math and Naomi helping Ziva with English.

She remembered everything, when Ziva got into fights and Naomi would always be there to bandage her up after so her father wouldn't find out and how they would pass notes in class with their own secret language so no one could read them. Would Kiara miss out on all that if the person she really wanted was Ziva?

Could Ziva be with her when she needed? She knew the answer to that, no. She couldn't hang out with her at school and make sure no one picked on her, she couldn't help her with her homework while listening to pop music and eating skittles and she couldn't be there when Kiara needed her most. When her world would seem upside down and like it was trying to push at her from every direction. She couldn't just leave work and go and comfort her as much as she wanted to and the biggest question was what happened when she was sent back to Israel? As much as she tried to pretend otherwise, she knew she couldn't stay here forever and she knew it was only a matter of time until her father got sick of missions taking longer than needed without her there and called her back.

She didn't know if she would be able to cope. The nightmares were bad here, but what about when she moved back to Israel, she wouldn't have Tony to comfort her, she wouldn't be able to go to work early just to see that everyone was okay, she couldn't make sure they were still alive. She was just thinking about leaving everyone, Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Ducky, Tony. She started to panic, her breathing hitched in her throat and her eyes stung with the tears she wouldn't cry. Kiara, Tony. What would she do without them?

She was pulled from her thoughts by Kiara's voice in the receiver she clutched desperately in her hand, her knuckles white from the grip.

"Emily says I have to go to bed," the little girl stated grumpily. "Can I call you tomorrow too?" Ziva was going to say to check with Emily first but then she felt the stab of anger at the woman and decided to be petty.

"Of course you can call Perach Katan; we can talk as long as you want."

"Cool! Bye Ziva, bye Tony." The was a brief scuffle then the phone was beeping out a dial tone and Ziva came face to face with Tony. Damnit, she had been hoping to put off the 'talk' he would certainly want to have.

"Are you okay Ziva?" he asked, his voice low and quiet. She knew it was wrong when she thought of it but by the time her brain had caught up with her actions her lips were already hard against Tony's, her hands pulling herself closer to him hoping she could just stop the flow of thoughts in her head. Tony was stunned, not moving for a few seconds before responding in a way she couldn't imagine. His lips were soft against hers and she thought it might finally stop the relentless flow of words going around and around in her head when his large hands grabbed her cheek and slowly but surely pushed her face away from his.

"Ziva, you know this isn't right," he said sternly, his green eyes dark in the feeble light of her apartment. "You'll regret it in the morning and it will stuff up things at work and Gibbs will kill me!" he listed, his eyes getting more and more worried as he went on but Ziva was past reason, she needed this and she didn't care what would happen as a result. She would tell Gibbs it was her fault so he went easy on Tony but she needed this right now and Tony was the only one who could help her.

"Please Tony." Her eyes and tone were pleading and she didn't care that she was begging anymore, she didn't care about anything, only the words that were being yelled in her head and the hope that she soon might get them to go away, if only for a little while.

"I need this Tony. Please."

Tony met her steady gaze and suddenly his lips were on hers and she pushed back with fervour, her hands filled with his short hair and her head filled with the feel of him instead of the loud words. Finally, a release.

His hands ran down her back, stopping at the bottom of her shirt and rubbing small circles on the smooth skin there. She didn't think she could get any closer to Tony but she pulled him to her as hard as she could, hoping that they might meld into one and he could stop the flow of thoughts and emotions that threatened to explode everyday. As he wrapped his warm, strong arms around her she forgot what she had been worrying about and threw every bit of herself into the kiss which only stopped when they both ran out of air.

She didn't hear the words as Tony pulled her to lay on the ground with him, didn't hear them as their clothes hit the floor at a rapid rate, didn't hear them when he picked her up without breaking the contact of their lips and carried her to the bedroom. She did hear them as they shut the door though, she heard them crawling up the wood and trying to turn the handle but they were stuck at the closed door, unable to enter her room, leaving her be with Tony for one night.

Please review, Jules.

I'd like to pay tribute to 'I Bruise Easily' by Natasha Beddingfield. Without that song the kiss and more would have never happened, I honestly didn't plan for it to happen it just kind of came out without me trying and I was powerless to resist :)