A.N. Okay, so here's the last REAL chapter- there will be an epilogue but that's it. I hope everyone has enjoyed it so far and PLEASE REVIEW!! You'll only get one more chance to after this so for all those people who have added this on alert but never review (there's quite a few of you) review now!! It will make me happy.

Disclaimer- If I owned them, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, I would be writing the script.

He opened her door quietly but strode across her lounge room with purpose, most likely alerting Ziva to his presence but it didn't matter because Tony had a plan.

He walked all the way through her apartment until he reached the bathroom door; the noise of the shower running was muted through the door.

Tony took a deep breath in.

It was now or never.

The door swung open much more quietly than he had expected and as he walked inside his eyes fell on Ziva.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this, Tony thought angrily. She was supposed to have her back to him, the water pouring down her hair and running down her legs. She was supposed to tense up until he stepped in with her and placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. He was supposed to show her that he loved her and that she would never have to beg again; show her how much she needed her.

But she wasn't standing tense with water running down her back.

She was sitting on the floor of the shower, her knees pulled up to her chest. She was facing him but she didn't even look up from the tiled floor. Tony was really annoyed. She was probably the only woman who showered like that.

And then he saw the blood.

He ran and opened the glass door and Ziva's eyes slowly met his.

"I didn't mean to Tony," she whispered. "Ani mitzta'eret. I'm sorry. Ani mitzta'eret"

He tried to block out her words but they cut through his ears, making him wince with every one.

"I didn't mean to, I slipped," she kept on insisting as he crept into the shower with her, wrapping a now soaked arm across her shoulders and pulling her close.

He wanted to believe she didn't do it on purpose but after the last few months, he wasn't sure of anything anymore. Ziva suddenly pulled away from him, her eyes angry but lacking the usual fire; she just looked lost.

"You don't believe me?" she asked; shock and sadness written all over her usually unreadable face.

"I don't…know, Zi!" he replied, his face as open and full of emotion as hers was but filled with confusion and guilt.

She didn't react the way Tony suspected. Instead of yelling at him and shooting him in the jaw, she sagged.

Her shoulders slumped and her head dropped and it took Tony a moment that tears were mingling in with the water drops on her face.

If he was surprised at her reaction before, he was stunned now. She didn't glare at him and tell him to get out, she didn't pick up one of the many weapons lying around and she didn't put up a wall. She only muttered one word but it was one Tony would never forget.

"Help."

He stood up, the water beating down on him, soaking his clothes but he didn't mind. He picked Ziva up, she was so light, and he carried her into the lounge room, taking the blanket off the back of the coach. Wrapping her in it tightly, trying to stop her body from shaking.

He sat down in front of the heater, pulling her closer than they had ever been before and then Ziva looked into the glow of the gas flames, took a deep breath in and opened up for the first time in her life.

"I didn't do it on purpose Tony," she pleaded once again. "You have to believe me that I would never do that to myself, bevakasha. Please."

Tony couldn't look into her eyes; the emotions were too strong, to confronting so he looked into the orange flames that lit up the room.

"But I liked the way it felt. It was like I could focus on something other than these words in my head for the first time in ages, she whispered. Tony wondered how the whispered words could sound so loud. It was like they were being yelled into his ear and they broke through into his head, swimming around his body until he was filled with them and it was all he could hear. He wanted to cover her mouth with his hands so he didn't have to hear what was going through her head but he was stuck, not moving, staring at the heater, not even wincing as her sharp words cut through him.

"The words are always in my head, sometimes mocking, sometimes comforting but they are always there Tony, they never go away." Her voice turned quiet, filling the silent room with her horrible story and Tony could only hold her and stare into the flames.

"They tell me what it would have been like if Kiara had stayed with me. They show me pictures of her alone and scared because I wasn't with her and now whenever I'm not with her I can't help but imagine the worst. She's so much like Tali, Tony. I don't want to lose her; I can't live through that again." She didn't keep on talking after that and the silence filled up the room, broken only by Ziva's ragged breathing.

"Tony," she whispered and that was all it took for him to move again because if Ziva needed him, he would come. He had ignored her so many times in the past and he wouldn't leave her to battle everything alone again.

He pulled Ziva closer to himself, still wrapped up in the blanket like a giant burrito and as Tony ran his fingers through her curly, damp hair she let go and cried into his chest, his clothes still damp from when he had pulled her from the shower.

"Don't worry, it will be okay," Tony mumbled against her hair. "I'll make sure it will be okay."

They stayed by the heater until they were both completely dry; Ziva telling stories of her childhood; of her, Ari and Tali and the training her father put them through.

They kept on talking, swapping childhood stories and dreams until Tony's eyes were shutting of their own accord and Ziva could actually see a bit of light.

Tony clamped his hands over his ears, trying in vain to block out the loud ringing that echoed all through the apartment. Eventually it stopped and Tony breathed a sigh of relief, snuggling back into the warm blankets surrounding Ziva. But another, much closer ringing started up and with a groan, Tony gently moved Ziva from on top of him, went and picked up her cell phone and answered it quietly.

"What's the matter Probie?"

"Where are you?" he whispered back obviously distressed about something. "And why are you whispering? Boss is starting to get really-"

"Tony," Gibbs's voice cut through. "First of all, why are you answering Ziva's phone, secondly, why are the two of you late and thirdly, is Ziver okay?" His voice went softer at the end, letting Tony know he cared just as much as he did about Ziva.

"I've got everything under control here Gibbs," Tony said, hoping Gibbs would pick up on the double meaning. "Ziva's sleeping."

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Sleeping properly?" The dark circles under her eyes hadn't gone by unnoticed by Gibbs.

"Yeah," Tony whispered and even over the phone Gibbs could hear the tenderness in his voice.

"I don't need to see the two of you at work today." His voice was business-like again but it turned soft when he added. "You take good care of her."

"Thanks Boss," Tony said but he was met with the dial tone. He stood up from his position on the floor and his back protested with a loud crack.

"Ohhh!" he groaned. "Next time you have a mental breakdown and you want me to stay with you, can we do it on a bed, or even a couch," Tony rambled until a sleepy voice answered him from the floor and he jumped, not expecting Ziva to awake.

"But where the fun in that?"

"Oh hey Zi," Tony said gently, bending down to her level.

She glared up at him, her eyes soft but the rest of her face hard.

"Just because I needed you last night does not mean I need to be collymoddled," she said grumpily, glaring up at him until he started cracking up laughing. She closed her eyes, giving a small smirk.

"I got that wrong didn't I?" Tony smiled up at her, his hand gently stroking her cheek and for once she didn't flinch or pull away. That gave Tony hope; hope that they could get through this together, get through anything together. But he didn't tell Ziva this, she wasn't one for the mushy talk so he kept silent, instead showing it all through his eyes, hoping she would see and feel safe, even if she wouldn't let him say it out loud. They would get through this; he thought. They would get through it because now they had each other.

"It's mollycoddled Zi."

Please review!! Next chapter is the last. Jules :)