Set post 2x23. Chuck loves Blair but stands aside because he wants her to be happy. And he is determined to do everything necessary to ensure she gets that happiness. What happens when a demon becomes a guardian angel? Read and find out!
Blair, Nate and Chuck had been stuck at the police station for hours, vainly trying to extricate Serena from the latest predicament her magnetism for drama seemed to have attracted. Nate had tried using the pressure of the Vanderbilt name, Blair had attempted whining and wheedling in her little girl innocent voice and Chuck had uncovered some very interesting material about discrepancies in the precinct's superintendent's personal tax returns – but all to no avail. Nate had gone to interrogate the desk sergeant again. Worn out, Blair had somehow managed to go to sleep in one of the hard plastic chairs in the waiting room.
In her sleep her head had slipped to rest on Chuck's shoulder as he sat beside her. He knew it was absurd how this small intimacy exhilarated him. It was crazy that, in the midst of waiting in a police station whilst for hours on end to bail his stepsister out, playboy Chuck Bass was feeling happier than he had in weeks because of the warmth of Blair Waldorf's cheek on his shoulder. It was absolute madness that he was considering never washing this shirt again because he knew that later he would be able to smell her perfume on it. The whole thing was simply ridiculous since, after all, he had experienced far greater pleasures with the petite brunette. While the time when he had actually 'been with' Blair had been brief (and even then you couldn't really call them a couple, their relationship did not fit with those easy terms), during that spell they had managed to enjoy almost every possible physical pleasure. Nevertheless, here he was inhaling the scent of her hair like a geeky lovesick virgin. Maybe it was because he knew this might be the last chance he got.
It might be his last chance to see Blair sleep. He loved watching her sleep. Seeing her face relaxed; innocent and gentle. Watching her brow pucker as some dream disturbed her repose. Feeling her body twist into him as it always seemed to do of its own accord when they slept next to each other, as though in the absence of the conscious will to separate them their bodies could not resist the natural pull they felt to each other. He'd never enjoyed the actual sleeping together part of bedding other women. Even if he was too exhausted to boot them out of bed after sex, he'd always found himself waking up uncomfortable with the foreigness, the strangeness of the limbs entrapping him, quickly extricating himself. But sleeping with Blair felt right. Watching Blair sleep made him happy. That was how he knew he loved her.
But it was because he loved her that he was giving up the right to watch her sleep. To have her head rest on her shoulder, even as a friend. Next year she would be busy at college and living with Nate and he would see her less and less, as often happened with friends after high school. It would be better that way. She would be happy. It didn't matter that he wouldn't be. He wanted Blair, but more than that he wanted her to be happy. That was another of the ways he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved Blair Waldorf.
"What do you think you're doing?" Nate's angry tones interrupted Chuck's reverie. He spoke low, obviously not wanting to disturb Blair's slumber, but he was glaring at the spot where Blair's head rested on Chuck's shoulder.
"I'm not doing anything, Nathaniel. It's hardly my fault if Blair mistakes my shoulder for a pillow. Force of habit on her part, I guess," he couldn't resist that last jab at Nathaniel. His feelings for his best friend were less and less amicable these days. First his best friend ditches him to hang out in Brooklyn with Humphrey, then after picking up the friendship when his family troubles started again, he broke up with his own girlfriend to pursue the one girl he knew his best friend was crazy about. And now instead of being sympathetic about the situation he had placed Chuck in, he was acting like a jealous jerk.
Chuck had at least been trying to conceal his jealous resentment of Nate, even to be supportive of his friend's renewed relationship. He wasn't oblivious to the irony of the situation. For years while he was tied down to Blair Nate had been jealous of Chuck's exploits, his womanising. And Chuck had counted himself lucky that he would never be a slave to a monogamous relationship like that. Now Nate was jealous because he knew his best friend had a special tie with the girl he used to find a chore but had now suddenly re-discovered his affection for, while Chuck envied his ability to achieve an easy happiness with the only girl who had ever meant anything to him.
So the two best friends glared at each other under the fluorescent lighting of the grimy station. "Look man, you told her she was free to go. I told you that you needed to end things with her and let her be happy. Now you're staring down at her like..." Nate struggled to find the words to describe the strange look that came over Chuck's face as he watched Blair sleep. It was not a look that Nate had ever seen on his friend's face before and was not one that he himself, with his straightforward nature and fairly basic emotional range, could easily comprehend. It was a look of intensity mixed with gentleness, awe mixed with understanding. Chuck could have helped him verbalise what that look encompassed, but he disliked anyone being able to read the emotions of his face, which he normally was so efficient at schooling into a careful, blank mask.
"Like what, Nathaniel?" Chuck bit out in exasperation.
"Like you're in love with her," Nate blurted out. He hadn't wanted to say it. He didn't like to think it. Getting back together with Blair, he had tried to convince himself that what Chuck felt for Blair wasn't love, that Chuck Bass didn't do love. He usually managed to stamp out the little voice in his head that said that that wasn't true, at least anymore. But it was getting harder and harder not to admit the truth to himself.
Chuck's temper was rising. "Listen I did what you wanted. I pretended to Blair that I didn't love her so that you two could go off and have some happy, Brady Bunch life together. But I see no reason why I need to pretend around anyone else, just because it might wound your conscience that your best friend looks at your girlfriend with something less than indifference."
Nate blanched. Chuck did love Blair and had stepped aside for him. The notion marred his image of himself as the good guy, the white knight to Chuck's dark prince. He'd always thought of himself as being the angel while Chuck played the devil, not judging his friend's actions, but imagining that they balanced each other out. And it felt safe and comfortable, their each having their assigned roles. But the balance had been thrown out by a beauty who was both part angel and part devil. The balance between them had felt off for over a year now, ever since that infamous night in the limo. Because the villain wasn't supposed to get the girl, at least not willingly. Chuck and Blair had re-written the script, changed the roles. Now Chuck was re-writing it again, because the villain also wasn't supposed to stand nobly aside to enable the hero and the girl's happiness. It made Nate feel all wrong, guilty. It was also as if he didn't know his lines anymore, or how he fitted into this new schema. So he reacted angrily and with disbelief.
"Okay, you don't love her, Chuck. You're so-called relationship lasted what, a few days? I was with Blair for years, loved her for years. You two had a brief affair, nothing more than a meaningless infatuation. You've just made it into something epic in your head because it's the closest you've ever come to actually having someone love you."
Chuck stood up carefully so as not to disturb Blair. Then he positioned himself very close to Nate's face. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Nate that Blair had loved him, had told him so. But he stopped himself. Because part of him still didn't believe her, still thought that she had only said it out of pity, or because she had run out of better options. And even if she did love him, it was beside the point now. He had decided that she deserved more, deserved better. He would make sure she got it.
So he spoke to Nathaniel in a soft but menacing whisper. "Make no mistake Archibald, I do love Blair. It would be in your best interest to remember that fact because if you ever hurt her again – if you cheat on her, or lie to her or suddenly decide you're in love with someone else – I will destroy you."
Nate met Chuck's glare grimly. "So I guess this is the end of our friendship."
Chuck's lip curled. "I stood by you through all the crap with your family, offered you advice, money, a place to live. When you cheated on Blair I kept it secret, not because I thought you deserved her, but because we were friends. Perhaps if I'd really thought about it at the time, I would have realised that she was my friend too. You may have had the title of my best friend, but this year has proved that she has always been a better friend to me than you. She was the one who really was there for me when my dad died, not just putting in some token appearance. I didn't appreciate it then, but I do now. She's always been my real best friend. So yes, whatever friendship we've had is through."
Chuck eased away from Nate. "Keep what I've said in mind. Because I've never spoken truer words than when I said I wanted her to be happy. Mess up that happiness, and I'll mess up your entire life." With that he set off down the hallway in search of coffee.
Nate let out a breath that he'd been unconsciously holding in. He felt something fluttering in his stomach, but it wasn't butterflies. His queasiness was brought on by a very legitimate fear of an enraged Chuck Bass. Nate had never seen Chuck more in earnest.
Blair stirred on her seat, slowly awakening. She blinked a few times, taking in her surroundings before finally remembering where she was and why.
"Nate! I can't believe I fell asleep. Has anything happened? Have you been able to see Serena?" Blair quizzed agitatedly.
Nate walked over to take Chuck's vacated seat, stroking Blair's arm soothingly. "Hey, hey, it's okay. It was good you got some sleep. Nothing's been happening at all."
Blair gave Nate a small, sad smile. His attempts to comfort her were sweet. It wasn't his fault that part of her wished it was a different pair of arms around her. Nor was it his fault that as she'd slept she'd dreamt that someone else's voice was giving her comfort, was finally saying those words she'd waited so long to hear.
She had to stop the path her thoughts were taking, so she said the first thing that popped into her mind.
"I love you, Nate Archibald." Blair believed that if she said it enough it would be true.
The statement caught Nate off guard. It seemed incongruous to their surroundings and he somehow sensed a certain emptiness behind the words. But he answered dutifully, "I love you too, Blair Waldorf." It wasn't her fault that being told by Chuck Bass that he had to make Blair happy, Nate suddenly found himself uneasy under the pressure, and feeling anything but loving.
Listening from around the corner, Chuck felt relieved that Blair had finally got her 'I love you', even though he wished more than anything that he could have been the one to give it to her.