"It's Drumknott, isn't it?" Carrot said. "Mister Vimes has just brought us to see his lordship. We don't want to waste any of his precious time, so it would be much appreciated if you'd just let us in."

Drumknott ummed and ahhed for a few moments before letting them pass.

"Technically, Carrot, we would not be wasting Lord Vetinari's time," Vimes pointed out.

"No, sir, I never said we would. I said we didn't want to waste your time."

"Oh." Vimes had never entirely understood Carrot's peculiar honesty. "In that case, we'll begin the investigation immediately."

"Er," Cheery said, "you always say we should interview any eyewitnesses first, sir, so would you tell us what you saw, please?"

"I came in to make my regular report to Lord Vetinari," Vimes said. "Everything seemed perfectly normal. Then, as I was speaking to him he suddenly collapsed. I moved around the desk to take a closer look at him and found him in his present condition."

"Er, is that all, sir? There wasn't a – a weapon thrown through the window or anything?"

"No."

"Are you sure you didn't do anything else, sir? You might have accidentally touched something that triggered something else or – or something."

"I didn't do anything, Corporal. You can do your scene of crime analysis now."

"Yes, sir." Cheery knelt down to inspect the body.

Vetinari's clothing was perfectly in place. His face expressed slight irritation, but certainly not fear or anger. One might have said that Vetinari's death had been due to INC (1), were it not for the blood oozing from the gash in his neck.

"The wound was inflicted at close quarters," Cheery said. "It certainly wasn't a missile. What's rather strange is that it appears the victim was not aware of the attacker. I'll do blood tests to make sure," she added.

As Cheery was scraping her various samples into a collection of jars and vials, there was a soft knocking. Drumknott walked into the office and froze.

Frank Easy had woken up with a hangover. This, he felt, was distinctly unfair, since he hadn't drunk anything the night before.

"Get a move on, Easy," The foreman shouted. "We ain't got all day."

"'m comin'," he mumbled. He strode forward, trying to ignore his blinding headache. He mustn't act like a wimp. Girls didn't like wimpy men. He wouldn't be a wimp. He flexed his biceps as he walked up to the lumber pile and began loading the cart.

Frank knew his biceps were probably bigger than his brain (3). He was proud of it. Girls wanted men with big muscles and lots of money. He flexed his biceps again. He definitely had big muscles and after his meeting with Mr Jenkins tonight he would have lots of money too. Soon the girls would be lining up to meet him.

"You ain't bin drinking, 'ave you, Easy?" the foreman asked suspiciously.

"I ain't 'ad a drop," Frank said and loaded the last piece of decking onto the cart.

"Your Grace, I think you have some explaining to do," Drumknott said.

"The Watch are investigating the scene of a crime," Vimes said. "We will attempt to inform the next-of-kin as soon as possible."

"Should the matter not have been, mmm, reported, Your Grace?"

"We are the Watch! There's nobody for us to report to."

"Nonetheless, Your Grace, I feel it would be appropriate to inform the guild leaders of the occurrence."

"Do as you wish. The Watch will get on with the case. We don't have time to pussyfoot around mollycoddled guild leaders. This is a murder investigation."

"Very good, Your Grace. I will make the relevant communications immediately."

Vimes stared after the clerk. He hated politics. They wouldn't leave his investigation alone now. It would be wretchedly difficult to find a murderer in the turmoil the guild leaders would raise (4).

"Er, sir?"

"Yes, Corporal?"

"If you're finished watching the doorframe, I'd like to get back to the Yard to analyse my samples."

"Right, Corporal. We're leaving now."

1 Internal Natural Causes (2)

2 Since assassination is a natural cause of death for high-ranking politicians, a more precise term for death due to the independent functioning of the deceased's body is necessary.

3 His mother had told him so.

4 Finding the right murderer would be all but impossible.

A/N: Thanks to Virtuella for beta-reading.