FanFiction 4
The next morning I was watching the sunrise. It was odd to see it here in this part of Washington with the constant cloud cover. I knew we wouldn't be in classes today and I felt relieved that I didn't have to pursue Gym class, but sighed knowing I would be stir crazy all day. Not being able to be normal and in public on the rare sunny days meant that Alice would be planning something for us to do. I wasn't disappointed when she glided into my room and her reflection joined mine in the window. She was studying me though, not the sun. She had something planned and was thinking about the best way to bring it up with me.
"What is it Alice?" I asked and she looked skeptical. "Your face isn't difficult to read."
"Oh," she hummed looking up at the sunrise for the first time after joining me at the window.
"I'm not going to a gay bar," I stammered being reminded of the discussion that went on in the jeep yesterday.
"I know, you killed that plan," Alice sighed crossing her arms. "Or Rosalie did, loud mouth."
"When you stop working against me, I'll start being more agreeable," I said offering her a smile. She just shrugged her shoulders like she didn't believe me. It was a lie, I would never really submit to her will. I wasn't going to be her science experiment.
"I was thinking about a trip actually," she whispered. It had to be barely audible for me not to hear her, but she tried to conceal her voice anyway.
"A trip to where?" I asked raising an eyebrow and turning to face her. When she refused to meet my eyes I knew something bad had been planned out for me. Something that I would fight vehemently against and something that she wouldn't let drop until she got her way. It was difficult to say no to Alice, but not impossible and I was preparing myself for a fight. A fight that wouldn't end until the clouds returned.
"Well Jasper and I have been talking and you know we do like to travel," Alice rambled and I shot her a look to just tell me. She just shrugged it off though. "And we really do like to see where people grew up, you know. We've seen Rosalie's town and Edward's, along with the rest of the family."
"Absolutely not," I hissed realizing she wanted me to return to a place that I avoided after I made up my mind to stay away. It was difficult to stay away from there, my home. I knew that my parents were dead; no way they were still alive. I wouldn't be afraid of hurting them or letting them see me. I had been gone, lost as a run away. If it was earlier I could probably return and they not be in tune with the transformation I made.
"It's not like it's your home now," Alice defended her eyes narrower. She was prepared for the fight as well.
"I don't want to show you where I grew up," I stammered standing stone still.
"Oh let's stop this argument right now," Alice sighed. "I see you taking us."
"How?" I asked, "I never made up my mind to take you."
"But I know deep down you want to," she groaned knowing I had her in a lie. "So please take us, just Jasper and I."
"Why must you dive into my past?" I asked putting my hands firmly on her shoulders holding her there to face me. "I'm here and part of this family now."
"And we love you," Alice stated. "I just want to see it, please." The look she gave me flooded me with resolve. I looked to my side to see if Jasper was in the room forcing the feelings on me. It sucked not being able to determine if the feelings I felt were genuine. When I looked at her, she hadn't changed her demeanor. I couldn't find any hidden motives in her face either. She had all night to hide any though so I was naturally suspicious of my little sister.
"Right no tricks, ok?" I asked and she looked shocked.
"Never!" She exclaimed looking sheepish, even for her. "Not everything I do is to trick you into something."
"Fine," I said, "can we at least fly there I don't want to spend all day on the road."
"My thoughts exactly," she sang then waved three tickets in my face. She had them tucked in her shirt and I took one of them. "We must go before the sun intensifies."
"Ok, packing light," I sighed and went to my closet and took out my emergency clothes. They were all grouped together so I just grabbed a few of them and stuffed them in a bag. Alice frowned knowing that all of them would be wrinkled by the time I got around to changing clothes.
"The sun will last for two days here," Alice said. "Plenty of time to roam around Boston too."
"Not there," I hissed with a stern voice. "Never there."
"Come on," she said offering me a smile that soothed me. Jasper had been waiting outside my room. I gave him an unappreciative glance and he shrugged his shoulders claiming innocence. I knew he was just as guilty; it was in his nature to be curious. Alice may not have been the mastermind behind this one it was likely Jasper.
The trip to Maine seemed short, even to me. Being constantly awake made travel an easier task. What most people would groan about, we welcomed with ease. We had done our fair share of traveling and would look forward to a lot more as time passed. It was also nice of Alice to book first class so that we didn't have to be crammed. It was relaxing to share with just a few other people. They did give us a curious look when we boarded and took our seats. We all sat together, and I welcomed that Jasper and Alice would be talking the entire trip. I wanted to be left alone to get in control of my feelings about returning to a place I had only visited once after my transformation. Even that one time was out of necessity; I had worn out my clothes and didn't have the money to buy new ones. I wasn't about to become a night time common criminal, stealing what I needed. That kind of lifestyle I knew, would lead to other more dangerous things.
"Well we're here, Maine," Alice said stepping out into the cloudy sky. I looked up cursing the weather. I was hoping to be hidden away at our hotel room all day, but Maine was just a dreary as Washington for the most part. It was still cold here so people were in heavy coats and as I drove the rental car towards my hometown I noticed patchy snow on the ground.
"The scenery is nice," Jasper stated and I glanced at him as I sped down the highway wanting to get this over with.
"A lot less green," Alice added with a smile. "The dead of winter still."
"Yeah wouldn't like to get stuck in a freak early spring blizzard," I commented and they looked thoughtful.
"We told Esme two days," Alice said, "so we'd be walking home to keep her from worrying."
"We're immortal for the most part, why does she worry?" I asked rolling my eyes, but loving Esme's motherly nature.
"We're her babies," Alice answered, "you know how she mourns the death of her child still."
"Yes I'm aware," I stammered not liking that Esme mourned her loss after all these years. She almost ended her life because of her baby. She would most definitely put herself in that position again, protecting one of us. The thought of her frail looking body standing in front of a danger made me cringe.
When I turned into the road headed to my house, I made note of the differences that I could remember through the haze of all these years. There were a lot more mobile homes than before, which seemed to make the town looked doubled. Some homes were falling apart, being long abandoned by their owners. I was hopeful that my old home would be just a pile or rubble taken over by nature. There were also newer looking houses, but over all not much changed. There was still only one road that went through the small town. It connected as a short cut between small cities that a lot of people traveled through. It didn't take long before my old house came into view. I was surprised to still see it in great shape. All my hopes for a pile of rubble vanished though, but the improvements to the house made me curious as well.
It was a small two story house when I lived in it so long ago. Now it seemed to be a lot larger and it had a full deck on the front instead of a veranda. Someone had spent a lot of money improving a house like the one I remembered. They had even changed the paint that I vaguely remember my parents loving. It was once a sandy yellow house at the end of a long gravel road. Now it was a bright white that seemed to glow in the gloom of the cloudy day.
"Wow," Alice breathed when we parked the car. There wasn't any vehicle in the driveway. We had arrived at the perfect time to check out my home.
"Not like anything it used to be," I stated standing between her and Jasper examining the house. "Other than the general shape."
"You didn't expect it to be the same did you?" Alice asked and I thought she was regretting the trip now.
"I expected a pile of rubble underneath vines and dead weeds," I answered glancing in her direction. We all seemed to start walking at the same time up onto the deck and to the front door. Alice knocked on the door to make sure no one was there before she picked the lock. Breaking and entering was something that we didn't really worry about anymore. We wouldn't be there to take anything and if the family that lives here caught us now we could escape through one of the windows without much of a sound.
"Someone definitely lives here, I can smell a cat," Jasper said wrinkling his nose. "And its litter box."
"Yeah," I said smelling the intense ammonia smell that was probably barely noticeable to the human owners of the cat. I didn't have to lead the way to my old room, Alice had seen it my dreams and ignored all the new furniture and appliances in the kitchen and headed up the stairs and down the hall. Jasper and I followed and she turned the knob letting the door screech gently open.
"Not much has changed," she whispered looking at me. "The walls have been painted and new carpet."
"Your images are better than my memory," I commenting offering her a smile as we took in the room. It looked to belong to an older boy, probably one not much younger than our human ages. He was a huge sports fan with the posters on the wall and he had baseball trophies on shelves. Jasper examined them while Alice and I checked out the closet and the queen bed with light blue sheets that matched the carpet.
"Sorry, I thought it wouldn't have changed this much," Alice offered patting me on the shoulder.
"It would be worse if it had been the same Alice," I soothed. "This isn't my home after all, my home is just outside of Forks."
"Exactly," Jasper said joining us at the closet that was full of clothes a normal guy our age would wear. The smell of him was intense in his room, but I expected that. What I didn't expect was how alluring it was, not like any of the normal smells of people. I could smell his cologne, deodorant, as well as the smell of his skin on his bed.
"Do you smell him?" I asked stepping away from the closet feeling the heat rising in my throat making it feel tighter than before.
"Yeah," Alice answered. "Smells pretty good, but nothing I can't handle."
"Same for me," Jasper added and they both examined me with shared expressions. I wondered what they saw when they looked at me, but I just shook my head.
"Let's go look in the attic, maybe some of my old stuff will be there?" I suggested and walked out of the room and down the hall to the string that pulled down the steps leading to the attic. The stairs glided down absent of any screeching and I led the way up them. The ceiling was slanted, but we could all stand comfortably and walk around with out fear of hitting our heads against the wood. It wouldn't have hurt, but there was a lot of room to move.
"Pull up the stairs Jasper," Alice ordered in her gentle voice. "I don't want us to be surprised."
"Right," Jasper said and did as she asked. It would've been a strained task for any human to pull up the heavy stairs while inside the attic. He made it look effortless and when we were in the dark of the attic he pulled the chain that turned on the hanging light.
There were boxes all over the attic, but it looked organized by seasons. There were decorations for Christmas to the right of the entrance. The tree was plastic and in the box on the bottom. The other boxes were labeled tree decorations and lights. Then there were Easter and birthday decorations in boxes on the other side of the entrance. Most of the boxes were of odd stuff the family probably didn't use, but wasn't able to throw away. Memories that would be guided by the things in the boxes, but none of them belonged to me that I could see on the entrance side of the attic.
It was Alice that found the meager sized boxes off to the far corner covered in dust. They didn't have a label so she didn't waste any time ripping the ancient looking tape from the cardboard. They were in such a dark corner the boxes would've been easily overlooked. Jasper and I joined her as she started rummaging through the largest box, pulling things out that I did remember from my childhood.
"These are yours," she said smiling at me as she held up an old family portrait. "Your mother was so pretty."
"Thanks," I said as she handed the picture to me and I looked it over. My mother's big hair sprayed beehive looking hair was something I never could forget. She also was a tall, thin woman. Taller than my dad by an inch, but with her hair she looked like she towered over him by a few inches more. It was when she had it down after a shower that I thought it was most beautiful. The dark black hair that I shared with her and the striking blue eyes that I no longer had seemed so far removed, but familiar at the same time. It was a difficult sensation to think through as I stared at the picture.
"Hey they put out missing person reports," Jasper stated picking up a stack of flyers with my picture and physical description.
"Oh!" Alice gasped snatching one of the flyers from the stack. I took one too and examined it closer. They were the color of office notepads and had a grainy picture of me on it. Mom likely made them, but they wouldn't really be clear enough to pick the person in the picture out in a crowd. It would've been unlikely that these flyers would've led to finding me, if I had stayed in the area. No one had ever approached me with the assumption and I had wondered if my parents had searched. This evidence didn't set my mind at ease though, thinking they had a lot of years to mourn, but not know what really happened to me. I had hoped they gave up the search and moved on.
Jasper and Alice were still looking over the flyers when I started looking through the box for myself. I found photo albums that I ignored, because underneath them were news clippings of my disappearance along with Massachusetts's news reports of a string of unsolved murders and missing persons. I wondered if this had given them closure. Some kind of ill rest that I wasn't going to come back to them, but the reports made me angry remembering the night that I was taken into the wooded park.
"Alice did they mourn me?" I asked hoping that she had some answers for me.
"I wouldn't know," she answered in a tight tone. She hated not being able to give answers like this. I should've realized that she wouldn't be able to know that, she had never been connected to their thoughts and decisions. The deadly immortal part of me fought against the sadness trying to take over my thoughts. We couldn't outwardly cry, but the pain we felt was intense. If I allowed myself to mourn making my parents' lives miserable – it would be something that would linger with me forever.
"They're not suffering now Sterling," Jasper comforted probably feeling the distress I was in. He rested his hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting it drop back down to his side.
"So these unsolved murders lead me to believe your creator didn't slow down," Alice whispered putting down one of the newspapers. "There are clippings and dates for decades, but Carlisle and us were never aware."
"Some news just doesn't reach across the country," I offered not really wanting to think about all the damage one vampire could do living naturally.
"Its likely she moved on," Jasper said. "No way could she hide like this forever the Volturi wouldn't let numbers of unexplained deaths rise like this."
"Would they really do that?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Force someone to relocate?"
"Suspicions travels faster than news," Jasper answered frowning. "A few of her bodies were found."
"Oh," I said, "no one ever found me."
"And we all know its better they didn't," Jasper countered gently. "We would've definitely been outed."
"Yeah," I said shaking the thought from my head. Alice let out a gasp and looked at me, but then settled down when the vision of me being destroyed was pushed out of my head. "Sorry Ally."
"You do have quite the imagination," she groaned punching me in the arm. "No more death visions from you, please."
We turned back to the large box, but it had been looked through. Alice reached for one of the smaller boxes, the smallest of the three. Jasper opened the middle sized one and I waited impatiently for them to show me what was in there. Jasper held up a brown teddy bear. I wanted to blush when he gave me a smirk, but I knew that stuffed animal. It was the last remaining survivor of the stuffed animals given to me when I was born. It had gone missing until I was fifteen years old. Mom gave it to me on my birthday, when she thought it was safe in my possession. She had always been sentimental. I cherished that bear and put it on a shelf for safekeeping in my room and looked at it often.
"Letters," Alice stammered holding up sealed envelopes with my name on it. Some of them were college acceptance letters. I grimaced not feeling the need to open those, but the last one she gave me was a personal letter written in blue ink. It was a soft pen-stroke with a neat, but small font. It was addressed to me, but just with my name. My throat got tight when I realized that Mom had written to me.
"I don't want it…" I hissed pushing it back into her grasp.
"You're going to have me read it?" Alice asked her eyes wide, afraid of reading it herself. "I don't really want to."
"Please?" I asked my face in a tight grimace.
"There's some things in the envelope," she said ignoring my plea for her to read it. She gently ran her fingernail through the top of the envelope, opening it. I watched her as she shook the open envelope letting the contents fall into her hand. What I saw was a ring that I had bought Mom for mother's day. I couldn't really remember when I had bought it, but I recognized the birthstone in the middle of the small diamonds. It was a light blue with a hint of green. I couldn't remember what month it stood for though. "You were born in March."
"Oh," I commented taking the ring from her and slipping it into my pocket for safe keeping. There was also a necklace, a golden horseshoe pendant. It was her lucky charm and she liked horses. Alice handed me this as well and I put it around my neck. It wasn't something a man would wear, but I felt the desire to wear it for a while. I would have to take it off, our active hunting trips and games aren't good for fragile jewelry. When she opened up the letter I noticed the same soft blue penmanship in neat lines. It was written on notebook paper. Alice looked at me again, hoping that I wouldn't make her read it. Her and Jasper shared a pained look and I was about to take the papers from her hands to read it myself. She cleared her voice and held the letter strong in her hands.
"Dear Son," she started and I leaned forward making sure I caught every word. I felt weaker than I ever had in all my existence in this house. Now the letter I imagined being my death. The one thing I'd never get over.
"Someone is here," Jasper interrupted hissing as he took the letter from Alice and put it back into the envelope. He put his finger to his lips when Alice wanted to protest. It was then we heard the front door close and the sound of a single heavy pair of shoes walking over the hardwood floors in the living room. We all sat silently in the triangle with the boxes in the center. We heard the phone dial and the voice explaining our car to someone on the other end of the line. We suspected that the young sounding man had called the police. There was a shakiness of his voice, so we all knew without smelling him or the ability to hear his heartbeat that he was scared.
"Do you think we can get out without him knowing?" I asked turning to Jasper, who was used to this sort of tricky maneuvering.
"Let's see if he leaves," Jasper answered. "He's scared and sounds younger."
"What if he comes looking?" Alice asked and I felt the urge to stand and prepare myself for running if the attic door was to open.
"We're in the attic," Jasper said looking around. He did stand up and turn off the light leaving us in darkness, even though we could see just as well. Alice and I stood as well, just as silently as Jasper had. Alice would be the only one able to walk around the attic without being detected. She had soft-soled shoes on while I had on a pair of boots.
"He's decided to leave," Alice whispered with a smile. "The police told him to wait in his car at the end of the driveway."
"Ok," I said and we waited for him to walk across the floor to the front door. When we heard the door open and close Jasper walked over and let the attic stairs fall. This time they did screech and we all waited for any sign of us being detected. He led the way down the attic stairs. I pushed them back up and held the string to steady it. There wouldn't be a lot of evidence to put us in the house, other than our scent. Only dogs would be able to follow it though. We wouldn't be taking anything they knew about so we hoped there wouldn't be an ongoing investigation.
"What will we do about the car?" Alice asked when we stood in the living room. The scent matched the scent in the bedroom that used to belong to me. It was strong and I felt the same urge rushing through my body making its home in my throat. I didn't understand my lack of control around the scent, it was nothing I had felt before. I had been so careful when I was new to stay away from people. Over the decades the scent was still alluring, but I could control it. Here though in this room if we were to be surprised I didn't know if I could control myself.
It was when we all heard movement behind the curtains we got scared. We didn't see any feet hiding and was relieved when a large yellow cat jumped from the window to the floor. Its paw prints thudded against the hardwood as it frantically darted around the living room looking for an escape. Animals were instinctively afraid of us, we didn't smell like humans and when Alice stepped out of its way it bolted into the kitchen then up the stairs to the second story.
"The car will be left it's a rental and I used a false name," Jasper explained as he started looking around the first level for a second door. I already knew there was only one exit other than the windows. Growing up I had a terrible time sneaking out to go to parties and barely made it out without getting caught. Now though we had advantages, but we still hesitated.
"Jasper he's coming back!" Alice screeched and we all darted into the kitchen. We all heard the car door open and slam shut as we opened the window in the kitchen. Alice was through the window when the front door opened. He seemed to be moving faster than us. Jasper didn't move towards the window and when I did he put his hand on mine. Then Alice appeared in the window again, climbing through.
"What are you doing?" I asked turning to Jasper.
"I felt something with you earlier," Jasper whispered then he looked away from me to the entrance to the kitchen.
There stood a guy I couldn't physically recognize, but the scent instantly invaded my nostrils aided by the breeze from the open front door and the open kitchen window. It had forced the air to move through the house and I felt my body wanting to launch toward him. Alice put firm hands on both my shoulders and shot Jasper an angry look. She forced me to turn my back to him.
"Jasper how could you?" Alice growled pushing me toward the window. I could've easily resisted her, but I knew if I did I would kill the innocent guy standing by the kitchen table.
"What the hell are you three doing in my house?" He snapped and I glanced over my shoulder to look at him. "And don't even think about leaving, I'll shoot."
"No need," Jasper stated in a flat voice. "We were just checking out the house, you see someone we knew used to live here."
"No one lived here before me for a very long time," the guy argued waving the small handgun in his hand. He didn't advance or aim it directly at us. His heart was racing, which heightened my instinct to drink his blood.
"We didn't take anything," Alice said letting go of my shoulders, but putting herself bravely between me and a direct path to the guy.
"You didn't have time," the guy pushed now aiming the gun at Alice. Jasper let a growl rumble through his lips. It scared the guy and he turned all his attention to Jasper. He was more frightened now than he was before. "Don't move."
"Can't you just let us leave?" Alice asked gently. "We won't be back."
"The police should be here momentarily, you can leave with them," he responded his voice shaking.
"We can leave when we want to," I hissed still with my back turned to him. "We just don't want to cause you any trouble."
"Shut the fuck up!" The guy yelled waiving the handgun around again. He started pacing, obviously regretting his decision to return to the house.
"We're not criminals we just wanted to see where someone grew up," Alice explained again trying to calm him. It wasn't working, but I could feel Jasper struggling to calm himself down enough to alleviate the tension in the room. He wasn't having much success and the urge to kill the man was growing more intense with each waft of air that hit my face. I wanted to reach up and cover my nose with my shirt and hand, but the movement would've had him shooting. The lack of blood and damage to our bodies would give us away.
"I'm going to turn around," I announced putting my arms in the air. I slowly turned around to face him completely.
Then we could hear the sirens screaming down the gravel road. The guy looked relieved and when he turned his back to us Jasper and Alice launched themselves at him. They knocked the gun out of his hands then slid him across the hardwood floor to the open front door. They both turned back to me and I was already jumping out of the window. I didn't wait for them, I could hear them hit the ground when I was about to the tree line. I only stopped when I was a few yards into the woods and waited for them to get to where I was.
"Jasper!" Alice growled pushing him to the forest floor.
"How could you do that?" I asked wanting to pick him up and throw him against the largest tree I could find. I wanted to hurt him for what he had done. It wasn't like Jasper to be this careless; he was always looking for strategies to keep us safe and secretive.
"Alice," he pleaded with his hands dismissively in the air. "The guy is for Sterling."
"You were going to let Sterling kill him?" Alice asked not understanding Jasper. I was just as confused by him, but Alice had let him stand.
"You know when I first saw you Alice, your smell and everything about you aroused me," Jasper stammered. I watched her smile and look away all the anger easing out of her system and it wasn't because Jasper was forcing it either. Then she seemed to understand him completely and looked thoughtfully towards me.
"Finding someone was easier than I thought," Alice beamed and I shook my head.
"I wanted to kill the guy not kiss him," I declared still shaking my head not wanting the thoughts to come back to mind. It took a lot of focus to leave the house and keep running towards the forest. I was definitely going to kill him and drink his blood there wasn't any denying that. I didn't want to return to that house and kill him, but I felt the urge fight against the decision. It was painful, the urge to feed was never so strong as it was right now, like I had been starved and this was my first ever meal. The fact that we had all just fed the night before wasn't strong enough to deter me. If this is what love felt like in our world, I wanted no part in it. The longing I felt to the core of my body was a lot easier to manage than what I felt in that kitchen.