Fan Fiction 5 Acceptance of Fate
We had to dodge the police as they searched the woods for any sign of us running in here. They even brought search dogs, but we traveled through the forest by jumping from tree to tree. It was too far above the ground for the dogs to get our scent and when it was dark the police gave up. Alice told us that they decided to leave two agents out in front to watch over the house. They tried to persuade the guy that lived in the house to take his cat and stay with a friend until they investigated the house better. To let time pass to make sure we wouldn't return to the house.
"What about the evidence we left in the attic?" Alice asked as we sat in a large pine tree.
"If they found it they would be able to match the picture to my description," I hissed glaring again at Jasper. The anger came and went with every thought that passed through my mind. It would take a while for me to forgive Jasper, but I still loved him. The urge to protect family outweighed my anger.
"I'll go," Jasper whispered feeling guilty about the entire scene he created in the kitchen. He never apologized for it though and I suspect that he still wanted to get me close to the guy again. He obviously believed the young man that owned the house was my mate. My singer; the one person that I could love completely if I ever got over the urge to drink their blood.
"No Jasper," Alice protested her eyes narrowing. "He's not left his house, we can wait until morning."
"The police will find the evidence," Jasper countered. He was gentle with her, but stern. He didn't want an argument, he was back to being the strategist.
"I'll go then," I whispered not really wanting to. I took off my heavy boots and handed them to Jasper to hold for me. Alice didn't protest me going, which relieved me and annoyed me at the same time. I was relieved knowing she wouldn't let me go if she saw that I was going to hurt him. I had made up my decision that I was going to keep my distance. I was annoyed because she was willing to risk my safety over Jasper's or something else was on her mind. She didn't smile or give me anything to read when I studied her before I let myself drop from the tree with a hollow thud.
I walked a straight path from the tree we were hiding out in to the tree line. The house was completely dark except for a light coming from the living room. The police kept their distance out in their cruiser, but I carefully walked in the darkness to the back side of the house careful to stay away from any window that could give me away. The moonless night, covered by clouds helped my pursuit. No one would be able to see me dart around as I looked for a place to climb the house without being detected. The house was two stories, on one side. The side that led to my old part of the house so I mentally lifted myself to the first story roof then I jumped to the second story. I was completely on top and I knew from my old memories that the attic had a vent window that opened to let the hot summer air out to keep the house cooler. So I hovered away from the roof down by the vent and pulled it open. It screeched and I cringed hoping he didn't hear it. I waited for any sign of movement and when everything was still I reached through the small crack. The window didn't open wide enough for anyone to move through it so I reached with my other hand into my pocket. I found my pocket knife that I kept, I never had a use for it until now, but I was thankful I didn't leave it at home and went through the hassle at customs to get it passed for the flight.
I used the knife to unscrew the hinges and when the window released completely I set it down gently and climbed through the window. The urge to look for the guy was trying to take over my instincts when I stood in the attic. His scent was weak in the attic, but that didn't matter. I had already placed the scent with a body and now even the slightest breeze in the attic flooded me with him. I couldn't hear his heart beat from where I was, so I had no way of knowing where he was in the house . I should've asked Alice, but knowing could've ended badly.
I walked over to the three boxes left open. I found the letters and pictures first then the flyers that had my missing persons description on it. I wanted to rip up all the flyers right there, the image of my parents searching for me still bothered me. Then I found my teddy bear. The rest of the stuff couldn't be linked to me and weren't important. Most of my stuff had been removed from the house, but this I wondered why any of it was left behind by my parents. I thought that this stuff would've been the most difficult to leave behind, but then the most difficult to look at forever as well. Maybe they had left them there to stop being reminded of me in such delicate ways.
Movement in the living room stirred me from where I was standing then. The pair of footprints walked slowly through the living room to the kitchen and up the stairs. I held still as a marble statue fearing that I had given myself away. Then I could hear his heart beat and I bit hard on my lower lip my hands trembling causing the contents to bounce and slide around in my arms. The papers made a ruffling noise and I almost dropped the flyers trying to get hold of myself. Then I heard the cat hissing and darting around the hallway. He was talking to it trying to calm it down. The cat had smelled me in the attic again and our scent drove it insane. I could hear his heart begin to race and then I heard him rumbling through a drawer.
It was when I heard the gun cock I started moving, no longer caring if he heard me. I ran to the window and when the attic stairs fell revealing light I glanced to see his head come into view. His scent took over the room, but I didn't stop this time, I jumped out of the window and when my feet hit the ground I steadied myself before running into the woods closest to the house. He yelled out of the window at the police, but I was already back to where Alice and Jasper had been waiting. When they saw me running they jumped from the tree and followed me as we went deeper into the forest.
We didn't stop until we hit an open field through the other side of the forest. We were likely near the Canadian border. No one would've been able to keep up with our pace, not even if they had the aid of search dogs. I dropped the flyers into the ground and searched around for two rocks that I could spark a fire with. There was only dead grass, but I was relieved when Jasper reached into his pocket and pulled out a small yellow lighter. He lit one flyer then placed it on the rest. We all watched the evidence of me burn into ashes. We then dug a hole in the field and dumped them into it, covering it up. I kept the letter, pictures, and bear feeling slightly attached to them now that they were in my possession.
"How did you get caught?" Jasper asked as he held on to my shoulder while I put on my socks and boots.
"The cat," I answered rolling my eyes. "Animals and their senses."
"I would like cats if they weren't so afraid of us," Alice commented and I looked at her stifling a laugh.
"Just snacks to me," Jasper shrugged. "Although cats don't taste all that pleasant when they're domesticated."
"You've tasted cat?" I asked wrinkling my nose. One had to be desperate to feed on something that small and unappealing. The wild untouched blood was the only thing I would try. The wild predatory taste was most appealing; we could taste the power, even in their blood. They were also more challenging to kill than humans would be so our instincts are still getting practiced.
"How are we going to get home?" Alice asked interrupting the conversation. I picked up the stuff and waited for Jasper to answer her question. He was already looking thoughtful so I didn't want to say anything. I was just happy that we weren't going to go to Boston to see the place where I was turned. I wasn't ready for that, none of us were really as it was such a dark and physically agonizing transition – the place was almost just as haunting.
"We forgot our luggage," Jasper growled. I didn't think our luggage was that important, but when I looked down I saw that my pants were ripped from running through the forest at our speed. Jasper and Alice were just as disheveled so we would stand out in public.
"So I guess we're popping a ride," Alice hummed excitedly. This was her specialty and she loved a chance to drive a car she liked, but never drove before.
"Don't expect to find many Ferraris in Maine Alice," I prodded and she looked upset for a second.
"We could go buy new clothes," Alice suggested liking the idea just as much. Jasper didn't like the idea of being around public places though. Two break-ins in the same house, especially after being caught would look brazen. The police would be making us into front page news of at least the local papers. Telling people to lock their doors and be on the look out for three young travelers with pale skin and dark eyes. Not many people would match the descriptions. We would have to be as careful as possible.
"Stealing a car is out of the question, looks like we're catching a train," Jasper whispered and Alice and I groaned. "At least to get us out of Maine and away from the north east."
"Then I can steal a car?" Alice asked as we started following Jasper.
"If we must," Jasper answered not wanting to excite Alice about the chance to show off her grand theft auto skills.
It was daylight before we found a town that had a train station. We then had to wait until the night before we stowed onto a freight that we overheard was traveling to Iowa. That would take us almost halfway back home so when the train was loaded we slipped into the back car. It had canned goods from some canning company that would be distributed throughout the grocery stories in Des Moines. We would have to leave the train before it entered the state capital.
The ride was agonizingly long with nothing for us to do. Jasper and Alice were off to the corner talking. I could still hear them, but I wanted to give them all the privacy I could in the cramped train car. We could barely move with all the boxes and if we wasn't used to this, we could easily become claustrophobic. The letter seemed to burn a hole in my marble colored hand as I rubbed my finger over the envelope. I still hadn't been able to read it, and Alice would refuse if I asked her again. It took a lot for her to decide to read it the first time. Jasper would read it, but the coldness of his voice could do more damage than me reading it to myself. It could also be an extremely private letter than I wouldn't want anyone knowing about. Though with them being part of my thoughts I wouldn't be able to hide it.
"You're going to read it," Alice whispered and when I looked up at her she was looking at me. She offered me a smile then turned back to Jasper who had looked to be in mid sentence when she turned to talk to me. He glanced at me and offered me a crooked, but careful smile as well. I looked down at the letter then played with the ripped opening for a few seconds then peered into the envelope with careful eyes. Then I put it to my nose and I could smell Alice, but mixed with an old foreign faint perfume. It was my mother's old perfume I guessed. Alice wouldn't be caught in something so old. Jasper didn't like her perfumes either so she only wore them on special occasions. I realized that my mother had held out hope still. That I would find this letter and read it, that I wasn't dead. That did give me courage to at least take the letter out of the envelope. I could smell the perfume a lot better now as I put the letter to my nose and when I flipped it open I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. The sense of smell triggers the most vivid memories for us so I was instantly taken back to the time when she wore this fragrance. She had gotten it as an anniversary gift from a friend of the family. It was during a party right before I was heading to Boston. I had liked the fragrance and complimented her when she wore it. I remember telling her that I wouldn't be able to forget it either. I was right, even if I didn't care for the fragrance now, didn't forget it. I turned the letter around and started down at the opening that Alice had already read. The two words that burned deep into my body that it was almost painful.
"Dear Son," I whispered to myself still staring at the blue ink on the blue stripped notebook paper. The paper was stiff and the creases wanted to snap the piece of paper back into its folded state. "I know you're not dead, it would be something a mother would just be able to sense. They call me crazy when I say something like that and it makes your father mad. I will never give up trying to find you, but your father and I can no longer take care of this big house. We're old; you would be in your late thirties by now. We will be staying at your Sister's house. Yes, you have a sister Jocelyn, we adopted like we always said we would but kept putting off until you went missing. We haven't replaced you so don't be thinking that. We don't know where you are, but our love for you will never grow faint. I hope wherever you've been you're safe and happy. Love, Mom."
It seemed formal and distant. It didn't hurt me as much as I thought. The knowledge of having a sister was surprising. I was glad that they had adopted someone to keep them company and at least replace some of their thoughts with loving a daughter instead of searching for a son. They had moved away and didn't die in the house and that was strangely comforting too. I had wondered if they had held out on my return until they died – and maybe they had, but leaving the home before they died in it was comforting. The mystery sister could still be alive, but I never would bring myself to locate her.
"We're just outside of Des Moines," Alice said appearing beside me. I was unaware of how long I had been staring at the letter. I hadn't read it, but the one time but it wanted to commit the letter to memory. Jasper led the way opening the last car and climbed out. The train was still traveling at top speed and even we hesitated after looking around for the logical way of jumping from a moving train.
"Ready to fly?" I asked clutching the teddy bear and letter in my hands. Alice looked excited and I lifted the three of us into the air, the breeze from the train leaving us swept over our body and carried us a few yards until I released my hold on us.
"Very useful bro," Jasper offered as we followed the train station into Des Moines. We planned to duck into the woods when we got closer to the state capital. No one would be traveling along the track this early morning. The sun was just rising, we had spent the rest of the day and most of the night steadily traveling from Maine. Even though we could sit in one spot forever, none of liked being unable to move around for a long amount of time. We all felt the need to stretch our legs so we traveled quickly, darting into the woods when we caught up to the train – passing it.
When we were just outside of Des Moines, it was clear out and the orange sky gave way to blue. The sun had intensified, so we nestled down in a thicket away from any road or building. We could hear the people getting the day started in the mid-western state. Cars soon could be heard on the high way and children were going to school after being picked up by the busses. It was a lot more than Forks, it would be difficult to maneuver here, but none of us liked being out in the sunlight. It made us uneasy, even on hunting trips. One look at us in the daytime would be enough to give us away. There wouldn't be any doubt that we were different.
"What now?" Alice whispered scanning our surroundings. It was a cold morning and the grass was dead. The thickness of the thicket wouldn't conceal us when the sun got overhead, the shadows of early morning is what hid us. So we would have to move soon.
"I hate to encourage you my dear, but you must steal a car," Jasper answered shaking his head frowning. Alice smiled uneasily, still looking around.
"Then I should go alone," Alice said giving Jasper another uneasy smile. He didn't protest like I had expected him to and when she was gone I really didn't want to be left alone with Jasper. It would be the first time since the kitchen scene and it still played vividly on my thoughts.
"I want to apologize," Jasper whispered then coughed like he was clearing his throat. It was difficult for him to apologize, he was so careful with the way he acted and thought. He didn't hurt other people, he hated the feelings he felt when he did.
"Nothing happened," I offered forcing a smile. "You were just trying to help anyway, and I wasn't ready to face facts."
"About him being…" Jasper trailed off seeming to struggle with the definition of what the guy would be to me.
"Yeah," I said completing the sentence in my mind. We shared an awkward smile then he scooted closer to me in the thicket.
"Are you in pain?" Jasper asked in a whisper that was barely even audible for me to hear.
"Can't you feel what I feel?" I asked wanting to change the subject.
"I can feel it, I just want confirmation," he responded reaching with his hand, sliding it around my shoulders until his arm was draped over me. He pulled me closer to him and I could feel a calmness wash over my body. The heat in my throat subsided a lot and I felt my shoulders slump.
"I feel like I just want to go back," I stammered grimacing. "And kill him or something."
"Sometimes we get confused about what we really want," Jasper said sounding a lot like Carlisle. Maybe they had had a similar conversation before, being just about as new to the family as I was. He had struggled the most, giving up human blood for animal. It showed mostly when he was in a room full of beating human hearts. We didn't like to push Jasper into situations like that, but he insisted he needed to get used to them just like the rest of us. He also wanted to be around Alice as much as possible and that meant going to school with her.
"What?" I asked glaring at him. "Carlisle riddles do nothing for me Jasper, but give me headaches."
"Well have you ever thought that the beating heart is what triggers your instinct to feed and not him?" Jasper asked and I still was completely confused. "If you could get over the smell and sound of him, you could love the rest of him."
"Or kill him," I countered wanting to scoot away from Jasper and end the conversation. He had his feelings still controlling me though and they held me there. They were comforting and he knew that we could only have this discussion with him doing this to me.
"Yes or that I suppose," Jasper agreed with a slight chuckle. I shot him a look and he looked apologetic, but still amused. "You have control Sterling, a lot better control than I do."
"I'm not going back Jasper," I argued and he met my eyes. The calm feeling intensified and I felt what I imagined being drunk felt.
"Some things we can't choose Sterling," Jasper stated his voice careful. "He will haunt you until you see him again. You will feel the need to be close to him grow every minute you're apart, you're feeling it now, I know."
"Right," I scoffed, "stop trying to help me Jasper."
"Fine," Jasper hissed. "Sorry I tried." He released his feelings when his arm slid off my shoulders. He moved to the other side of the small thicket glaring at me until I diverted my attention to the ground we were sitting on. I could make out individual specks of sand and organisms moving around. Spring was on its way in Iowa, the dead weeds and grass will be replaced by green grass. This thicket would leave out and be completely impenetrable to most things.
Jasper had been right about me though. I didn't want to accept his judgment on what my options were. I had lived a long time without falling in love and I didn't even know what that felt like. Jasper seemed to think it was what I felt in the bedroom of my old house – in my old room. All I felt was the need to feed, we all knew what that felt like. I needed to convince myself of that and make it factual. I wasn't going to go back to that house. The heat in my throat seemed to intensify every moment I decided that I wasn't going to go back. The longer I sat the worse it got and it wasn't something I could control. Jasper thought I was strong, he didn't know me that well though. I was weak if I returned to him.
I caught myself looking over my shoulder in the direction of Maine. I shot a sideways glance at Jasper who was studying me intensely. He knew he was right and I didn't have much ground for argument. He told me that Alice seemed to be brought right to him, and she confirmed his thoughts when she saw him coming to her. They knew almost instantly that they were meant to live forever together. They were equal though, both transformed. They didn't have the appeal of a beating heart or blood racing tantalizingly through veins in various speeds depending on mood. It was like I could still hear it, the strength at which his heart beat. The speed of it when he realized someone was in the attic. The anger and fear, mostly fear that was so alluring to me. I wanted to take that fear away and put his mind at rest. It was the blood that stopped me. The blood that made my lips curl over my teeth and invaded my nostrils and wreaked havoc on my body.
A motor could be heard roaring down the road, I welcomed the intrusion and knew it was Alice arriving to retrieve us. Jasper and I stood to see a bright red Honda. It wasn't sporty like she wanted, but the windows were tinted. We didn't hesitate getting into the car and when the doors closed she whipped the car back around and sped through the state capital. She turned up the music, seeming to sense the sullen mood in the car. The music wasn't a distraction from what Jasper had said to me earlier though. I couldn't be angry with him anymore; he was right about what I was feeling. What he didn't realize though, was that I wasn't going to let it haunt me. I had decided that, and over time it would fade just like any other memory we had.
It was in the middle of the night when we returned home. Carlisle and Esme were surprised to see us. They were worried when we stepped through the door with tattered and dirt stained clothes. Esme rushed to our side and I could see her eyes ticking over our forms seemingly counting the number of fingers we had. When she was satisfied that we were all in one piece she offered us an uneasy smile with a cocked eyebrow. I could see the mother struggling to come out in her completely. If we didn't explain ourselves within the next few seconds she would start lecturing. Alice seemed to sense this, or saw it playing out in Esme's thoughts. She smiled and stepped away from the doorway taking Esme's hand.
"We had the most interesting trip," Alice beamed like nothing bad happened to us at all. "Maine is a glorious place, about as dark as Forks."
"Maybe we'll relocate someday," Carlisle offered taking a seat in the chair in the living room. Jasper sat beside Alice and I closed the door opting to stand. I didn't really want to stick around for the conversation. I would have to go far away to escape it though and I would still be asked questions later.
"Sterling's old home is lovely and we found boxes left by his human parents," Alice continued and that's when I clutched the bear closer to my body trying to conceal it in my tattered shirt.
"I kept the necklace, the bear, a picture and a letter," I explained reaching with one hand to reveal the necklace that my mother hand worn. They all were smiling at the trinkets I carried.
"That's nice Sterling," Esme said smiling warmly. I walked over and sat them all down on the living room table. They took turns lifting the picture and looking at the small family portrait. They looked at me and complimented my Mother's beauty, just like Alice had. I felt proud that they approved, but the time that had passed stifled what should've been a more poignant moment.
"Then Sterling met his la tua cantante," Alice chattered and then Esme was looking up at me with blazing golden eyes. She had a wide smile that I wanted to run away from completely.
"If that's what that was, I don't want it," I growled. "Thanks for spilling the whole story Alice."
"We are a family dear," Esme soothed standing up, but keeping her distance when I backed away from her.
"Then please help me forget about the guy," I stammered looking down at my muddy boots. I felt ashamed that I was this weak in front of my family. "I don't think I can take the torture."
"You can't mess with that sort of thing," Esme argued gently. "You can't simply forget it, I don't want you to."
"Why the hell not?" I cussed and started pacing the living room. Rosalie and Emmett walked down the stairs and into the living room. They looked ready to hold me down, fearing an outburst.
"Because my two sons have been waiting for far too long," Esme sighed still unable for stop smiling. "Sterling when you told what you felt, I worried intensely over what to do."
"Help me forget it," I pleaded, "worry about that if anything, not me being alone I can take that."
"Cold feet bro?" Emmett asked walking to me and getting in my way. I stopped pacing to glare at him. I couldn't see any underlying humor in his expression, which kept me from punching him. This suddenly felt like an intervention and I wanted to escape from the house completely.
"I should've never told you," I hissed pushing my way past Emmett.
"I agree, I think its best he stays away from the human," Rosalie said as I entered my room. I could still hear them discussing me.
"Thanks Rosalie," I offered as I loaded up my computer to lose myself in a game.
"And suffer forever, he's family," Esme argued. "We can help him overcome this if he's just willing."
"We'll give it a few days," Carlisle stated in a flat tone. He sounded most like a father in this tone, even though it was more a direct order instead of a fatherly gesture. "We're not certain of anything as it is, the trip would've been completely overwhelming for him."
Carlisle's words did ease my mind; he was talking louder than he usually did. He wanted me to hear them and I smiled. What I felt in that house could've just been a lot of overwhelming aspects swirling around in my mind, a phase that could disappear and soothe my strain over time, which is what we had infinite amounts.