Acceptance of Fate 6
I knew it was coming as soon as the sun slowly slid above the tree line into the clear sky. It was going to be another clear day, a rarity for Forks. I had been hoping over night for clouds to come back as I went hunting. Getting back from Maine, I had to hunt more it seemed I couldn't really satiate myself. They did leave me alone like Carlisle said, but it wasn't like I couldn't hear them talking about me anyway. I tried to tune them out with music, but with our hearing abilities – even music failed to drown the discussions.
"Good morning Sterling," Esme greeted from the doorway. She would be the only one to defy Carlisle.
"Good morning," I said returning her smile uneasily. She stayed in the doorway, leaning against it with her arms crossed over her chest. She seemed so motherly this way.
"You went hunting last night," she stated finally walking into my room. "Are you feeling any better?"
"A little," I lied forcing a smile.
"Carlisle's option to relocate to a more suitable place is still open you know," Esme pointed still smiling with her arms crossed. "Me, you, and him, we can send your transfer papers to a new school."
"I'm not leaving," I countered feeling the intensity returning. I swallowed trying to get it to subside, but it never worked. The thought of him made it excruciatingly obvious to me. It wasn't going to subside until I was drinking his blood. It was like I needed the closure of his death to get over the feeling. I didn't want to debate on the act though. Killing him to find peace within myself would be too easy for me to consider right now if I let myself.
"Maybe you should join your brother in Denali," Esme offered trying to help me. Her smile faltered when she suggested I leave the house for Canada, like Edward. She wouldn't be able to help us that far away.
"Is that why he left?" I asked my eyes narrowed.
"No one knows," Esme answered reassuringly. "Not even Alice."
"Playing mind games like me then," I hissed grimacing. I felt the annoyance of not knowing what was bothering him and I wondered if I caused the same feelings when I distanced myself from the rest of them. Esme was about to speak again, but Alice came bounding into the door. Esme had to get out of her way, they did an awkward, but fast dance and Alice took her place directly in front of me. Her eyes were black and she looked concerned.
"He's coming!" She huffed with excitement. "He found something addressed to me in my bag and he's coming!"
"With police?" Esme asked looking worried.
"No, no they tried tracking us down using the car, but they can't," Alice explained with a smile that made us all feel more at ease.
"Why did you leave something like that in your bag Alice?" Esme asked sounding just as motherly as before, but this time there was a distinct scolding harshness around the edges of her voice.
"I don't know," Alice answered looking ashamed. "I'm so sorry Sterling."
"When will he be here?" I asked looking around my room thinking about what I'd take for an extended trip away from the family.
"Tonight he's determined to see us again," Alice whispered grabbing my hands holding me into place. "Don't go Sterling, if you face him it will make you feel better."
"If I kill him you know what will happen," I growled yanking my hands from her grasp.
"I don't see you killing him, yet," Alice stammered an air of guilt making her normally sweet voice crack.
"So I won't kill him tonight?" I asked suspicious of her. Edward would know what she saw if he was here, but he wasn't.
"No, he found the boxes in the attic," Alice explained. "He's bringing them, he knows we're not out to harm him."
"Oh right," I said rolling my dark eyes. "Not until I can't control myself or he trips and scrapes a knee or gets a nose bleed, anything..."
"We're more in control and you know that," Alice countered. "Stop being so dramatic Sterling, have faith in me will you?"
"I don't think him coming here is a good idea Alice," Esme said. "Go meet him at the airport and send him back home."
"Thank you Esme," I offered and she shot me a look that I couldn't read.
"Not for you," Esme said a tight smile returning. "I feel that you will have to contact him, but not right now."
"You all feel that way?" I asked and Alice and her shook their heads. They were all in agreement.
"Rosalie is the exception," Alice whispered standing. "I'll go get the boxes, but I won't fight with him if he's insistent on coming."
"Try your best," Esme instructed patting her on the shoulder. She followed her out leaving me to decide what I wanted to do. When I heard that he was coming, I felt slightly at ease and that scared me. Like I was about to get what I wanted, with out a lot of trouble hunting him. We had an alluring affect on people and it would only take a few moments to get him alone. To let him hear my inviting voice before his fear would subside and I capitalize on his calmness just enough to stop any fight he'd have. It would take mere seconds for his blood to leave his body, and for his heart to stop. Then I would be satisfied.
I had to stop myself; I was slowly walking towards the door, my throat as with the rest of my body seemingly burning with excitement. The same excitement, but on a lesser level when I was hunting a bear or a mountain lion. Esme was right, I would have to have contact with him or I would be driven mad. That would put everyone around me in danger – I would be resorting to some wild state. Something out of control and foreign and I wouldn't be stopped until I was a pile of ashes.
I watched the sun set from my window and listened for Alice to leave the house to drive to Seattle. It wasn't dark; the sun though had disappeared behind the tree line leaving everything in a dark blue haze. Alice looked up at my window smiling and winking when she finally did leave and was standing in the front yard. I nodded my head and opened my window. Rosalie coming out to join her stopped me in my tracks and I whipped around to the other side of the house to hide myself. I was going to go with her, but Rosalie never would allow me to come along.
I waited until the red convertible backed out of the garage and disappeared down the road before hopping down and entering the garage. I eased myself into the car with the door open, not starting the engine until I was facing the driveway I pushed the car back. Outside the garage, I closed the door and slammed my foot against the accelerator. The car spun the back tires before releasing the hold on the pavement. I looked through my back window to see Jasper and Emmett running after me a short distance before giving up. Jasper was on the phone when I disappeared around the curve. It wasn't long before I caught up with the red car. Rosalie wasn't driving, which shocked me as it was her pride and joy. She was noticeably arguing with Alice, but Alice was looking forward ignoring her. It was when Rosalie shot me glare that I knew I was what she was arguing about.
When we arrived, the flight the guy was on, just landed. I parked beside Alice and stepped out of my silver Porsche. Rosalie was at my side as soon as the door closed behind me. Alice was standing right behind her with an amused smile spreading across her face. I tried to wave off the oncoming assault with my hand, but Rosalie only smacked it away from her face.
"You're incredibly stupid," she hissed crossing her arms keeping pace with me. "You know what will happen if you kill him."
"What?" I asked glancing in her direction. "We're not on treaty lands anymore Rose, nothing will happen."
"I told her you wouldn't kill him," Alice offered from the other side of me as we walked towards the building that was filling with people that had just landed.
"He will kill him eventually Alice," Rosalie countered shooting her a glare. "For what?"
"It would put a stop to the madness that's growing inside me Rose," I whispered feeling the intensity subsiding with each step I took.
"Or make you desire human blood like some thirsty monster," Rose argued grabbing my arm trying to stop me from going any further. "All that we worked for will be stopped if you do this, just go back to the car."
"No," I countered dragging her along until she planted her feet.
"Rosalie you fighting him will only make what he feels worse, don't get in his way, just have faith in me," Alice groaned placing her hands on both our shoulders. "He's not going to kill him."
"His decision can change in any second Alice, then what?" Rosalie asked, even I turned to hear Alice's answer.
"Then we bash him over the head with something," Alice answered and I laughed shaking my head. "We can do something Rose, if it comes to that, it's the only reason you're here and not Jasper."
"What would Jasper have done?" I asked as we started walking again. Rosalie seemed to like the bashing plan enough to stop fighting with me.
"He would've wanted to carry you away in a bag," Alice answered, "but I doubt we would've put you back together right."
"And carve up this pretty face?" I asked my eyes widening. "He's only jealous because I'm the hot one of the family."
"Are not," both Rosalie and Alice argued in unison. For different reasons, I imagined as Alice looked to be defending Jasper and Rosalie defending herself as she flipped her hair and smoothed her clothes.
"Girls," I sighed then Alice stopped walking. I looked towards the front doors and saw him standing just outside them. He looked at Alice and I intensely surprised seeing us in the parking lot of the airport. Rosalie had kept walking a few steps until she turned around to look at us.
"What?" She asked then motioned for us to catch up with her.
"That's him," I whispered, "at the door."
"Alice," Rosalie stammered, unsure of why she had stopped walking too. "You both suck so much right now its not even funny anymore."
"Shut up Rosalie," Alice ordered her smile returning. "We're still good to go whenever you're ready Sterling."
"Are you sure you can control me?" I asked and she wrapped her arm in mine still smiling.
"Yes," Alice answered looking to Rosalie. "I'll hold you while Rosalie beats you senseless, it will do her some good to get some of that anger out anyway."
"Just not the face, its my money maker," I joked. I heard Rosalie let out a low growl; she was stiff and crossed her arms.
"Just get the stuff he brought so we can leave," Rosalie ordered then she led us to where he was standing. It looked like he could start running any second, and I hoped he wouldn't. I would be too tempted to chase him into whatever dark alley he'd find. I would distinctly pace myself, letting him put space between him and witnesses.
"Now wouldn't be the best time for those thoughts," Alice whispered leaning into me so that Rosalie wouldn't hear.
"Right," I sighed forcing myself to think about controlling myself. He didn't run, just waited by the sidewalk for us to approach.
"Hi," Alice greeted when we were standing on the sidewalk with him.
"I didn't expect to see you until I was on your doorstep," the guy stammered unsure of himself. "Or were you coming back to see me?"
"Of course not, we got what we wanted," Alice answered her voice welcoming. "Of course we left too quickly."
"So you really were looking for some old things belonging to your family?" He asked wanting confirmation.
"The necklace my brother is wearing belonged to…" Alice started but then fumbled slightly.
"To my great grandmother," I answered winking at her. I pulled the necklace gently from underneath my shirt so that he could see it.
"Oh," he said as he placed one of his bags down freeing one of his hands. "I'm Ryder, well Marcus is my first name, but…" He was offering his hand for us to shake, but when we didn't accept he trailed off and let it drop.
"Hi Ryder, I'm Alice," Alice greeted smiling warmly. "This is my brother Sterling, and my sister Rosalie."
"Hi," Rosalie greeted. I just nodded my head, which he seemed to take notice. He was younger, than I expected the gun and the bravery had made him seem a lot older than he was. He looked to be in his early twenties or late teens. Taller than me by a few inches and his slight tan looked uncommon – slightly exotic for this part of the country where the sun hardly liked to come out from behind the cloud cover.
"So you brought the rest of the stuff?" I asked when he didn't take his eyes away from me. Alice seemed to notice so she held me tighter against her.
"Oh right," Ryder responded blinking a few times. He brought one large back and placed it from the rest of them. "In the bag is the rest, some old clothes and stuff."
"Ok," Rosalie responded walking up and taking the bag in her hand. "Sterling go put the stuff in your car."
"You can just keep the bag, its old," he said and I grimaced when Rosalie slammed the bag into my stomach. It jolted me
and I had to take a step back to keep my balance. She looked amused and I rolled my eyes taking hold of the bag. It was better that my hands were full, maybe Rosalie knew that too.
"So I hate to make the trip a short one, but we really must go," Rosalie stated flatly then whirled around and started walking back towards the cars.
"I was hoping to…" Ryder started, but thought better to keep silent.
"Oh," Alice hummed her eyes ticking over to me briefly. "Well you see, we're going on vacation soon that's why we're here – to surprise our parents with the tickets."
"Oh," Ryder said looking suddenly uneasier. His feet started backpedaling slightly and he started reaching for his bags. "Well better get to a hotel before they fill up."
"We do need to get those tickets," Alice said pushing me forward gently. She winked at me as she and I started walking. I didn't allow myself to breathe in his scent when we walked past him. He didn't wait around to make sure Alice made good on her lie and bought tickets. I watched him put his luggage in the back of a cab. I felt the urge to follow him, but I stood with Alice still clutching my arm.
"He's still going to be in Seattle," I said as Alice and I got out of line and walked out of the airport. Rosalie was in the convertible, she would be driving home this time and I smirked when Alice tossed her the keys with a sigh. I wondered if fast cars were an interest to all vampires or just us. The preferred method of travel was just to walk, since we didn't fatigue and could travel more easily between borders. Trying to seem normal, our family bought cars and used them every time we needed to take long trips.
"And he's still going to come see us," Alice whispered then left me to get into the passenger side beside Rosalie. "Don't do anything stupid Sterling and come straight home."
"Oh I will," I said opening my door and sliding into the seat. I wouldn't be able to block Alice out of my mind to plan something. She and Rosalie would probably turn around and follow me if I made any weird turns along the way, and I wasn't that good at tracking either. It took a lot of skill to follow the scent and read the mind of what we're following.
That night I went hunting again and I was racking up the body count, I was starting to wonder if I should move. I didn't put much thought in the hunt as I would typically. I just wanted to get it over with so that I could feel relieved. I stayed close to home, not trusting myself anymore. The thoughts seemed to haunt me and I wondered if nightmares were like this for humans. At least they went away, my eyes were already open. I wouldn't be relieved that it was just a fragment of my unconsciousness. I was living the images rushing through my head. Marcus, a name which I preferred over Ryder, running down a muddy trail. His foot falls echoing off the thick roots just beneath the ground and the sound of his rapid heart beat and ragged breathing seemed so vivid to me.
Before daybreak I stepped into the shower, I could see the thick cloud cover and knew we would finally be going back to school. Marcus may come while we're away and Esme would satisfy him enough to go home. I didn't worry about the cold water when the spray washed over my marble colored body. We did notice changes in temperature, but the cold never bothered us. The heat radiating off the living was the most pronounced temperature in our lives and we didn't have to be touching to feel it.
Knowing a shower wouldn't relax my nerves I washed quickly. When I was dressed for school Alice and Jasper were waiting for me. Rosalie and Emmett were already out, Carlisle was at work and Esme busied herself with crafts. She liked to scrapbook, but we didn't really age so we took pictures randomly or during our traveling expeditions. She looked up at us from her stacks of photos to give us a short wave and blow us a kiss as we gathered our bags.
"Bye Esme," Jasper said and we followed him out the door to his jeep. He drove to school and we parked beside the red convertible. What we didn't expect to see though, was Edwards silver Volvo parked in the school parking lot a few cars down from us. He was leaned up against it talking to Emmett and Rosalie when we arrived. Jasper had barely enough time to stop the jeep before Alice opened the door and bounded to him wrapping him into a hug. When I joined the rest he offered us tight smiles he was being hounded with questions by Rosalie about Tanya and Denali so I didn't greet him. No one pushed him for answers about why he left, we all knew it wasn't the place.
"You have Esme worried sick," Alice stated when we all started working our way towards the cafeteria.
"I had my reasons," Edward commented looking around at everyone walking around us, all headed in the same direction. It was when we all heard the roaring engine of Bella's ancient Chevrolet that caused him to noticeably grow tense. He stopped walking momentarily and looked over his shoulder when the Chevrolet back-fired to a stop and waited for her to emerge from the drivers' side door. We all looked back and watched her and she noticed us and this time it was us who looked away.
"She's certainly happy you've come back," Jasper whispered then held the door open for all of us to enter the cafeteria. We had been later to school than expected and was caught off guard by the dismissal bell. Rosalie even jumped and I sighed knowing I had gym.
When I arrived I was relieved to see the badminton nets erected. There were four courts outlined with yellow tape in the gym. It was the one sport I didn't have to touch or be close to anyone. I actually tried at this game, even though I didn't get much of a thrill out of sports. Coach Clapp looked to expect me to walk up to him and start complaining of some illness and seemed surprised when I walked into the locker room with out any argument. Actually liking gym for once made the class pass quickly, even so I wanted to be in World History so I could talk to Edward alone and not have him bombarded by questions by the rest of the family.
I walked through the door to see him already sitting at his desk at the back of the class next to the window. He smiled when he saw me and I quickly made my way back to him, taking my seat as well. We were the only two in the class room, but it wouldn't be long before the rest of the class shuffled through the door. The only thing the old teacher wanted, was that no one arrive late to class so he wouldn't have to fool with marking someone tardy.
"Good morning," I offered and he seemed to study me.
"No Chinese alphabet?" He asked cocking an eyebrow. His eyes seemed noticeably calm, even for us. Like nothing in the world was bothering him right now, but I didn't know really. I wasn't able to get help when reading people.
"I slipped," I answered looking down at my palms on the desk.
"And I wasn't here, he sighed, "damn."
"You didn't miss much," I offered then started thinking about all the conversations I had with the family. I did hide the trip from him though, it was difficult to do since Marcus had been a large part of the last few days. I did watch him change expressions, never frowning though. Just looking at me with a sense of wonder, like he was meeting me for the first time. In a way he probably felt like that too. It was when I started thinking about the trip back to Maine, that I stopped and started my old routine of randomly reciting.
"You were doing so well!" Edward groaned shaking his head at me. Then he leaned across the isle with his eyes narrowed in thought. "So you're really homosexual?"
"Yeah, guess so," I answered and he slid back into his seat still looking at me.
"And you can lift things with your thoughts too?" He asked skeptically and I fought back my laughter.
"I wouldn't lie Edward," I answered, "I've come clean, honest."
"I believe you, its just wow," Edward offered smiling. "I never knew you were so original bro, you really put the rest of us to shame."
"We're all freaks, don't crown me king," I countered lightly and he chuckled then leaned in close to me again.
"Who was the guy?" He asked, "the one you're trying to hide?"
"I'm not…" I started, but when his eyes widened with amusement I let the lie die on my lips. I had just told him I wouldn't lie to him, even I wanted to laugh at myself then.
"A stranger," I answered vaguely. "Alice must be day dreaming, because you didn't get it from me."
"Well one can only take calculus so many times," Edward joked.
"I'll tell you about that at home, since I need all the help I can get," I stammered and he seemed impatient, but didn't push me. "Why did you go on the trip though?"
"That too, will have to wait," Edward responded smiling. I shot him an impatient glare, similar to the one that he gave me just seconds earlier. I was tempted to skip the rest of the day and get the whole story, but he seemed open enough about what he was dealing with. I would just have to wait for him to tell me.
When the class was over I followed him to lunch. Bella was still surprised to see Edward and we all could see an altercation brewing between them. She was openly staring at our table, not caring that we had caught her. Her eyes though didn't tick across the rest of us, they were focused directly on Edward. When I looked at him though, I was surprised to see him sharing similar expressions with her. His deep honey colored eyes were locked on her and he had a tight thoughtful frown. He ignored the chatter at the table mostly of Alice and Rosalie talking and Jasper and Emmett discussing a totally different subject.
The staring contest between them only faltered when the bell rang dismissing us to the other classes. We only had four during the day and everyone knew that Edward had Biology with Bella next. I watched as Edward rose from his seat then I looked across the lunchroom to see Bella stumble over the leg of her chair. They both walked swiftly through the people exiting the cafeteria, seemingly in a race.
"That was strange," I mumbled looking around the table, as we all remained seated.
"You're telling me," Alice agreed worry thick on her usually melodic voice. "He wants to apologize and talk to her about whatever happened in Biology though."
"He certainly seemed eager," Rosalie commented as we all gathered our things and left the table. Nothing else was said between us as we walked out of the cafeteria and parted ways.
I had art next; the only class that gave me enjoyment since it wasn't predictable and art didn't have any of our usual repetitions. We did learn the same general terminology, but that was all. It was the one class I put effort in to express myself. When I opened the door it wasn't the unmistakable smell of clay or paint that filled my nostrils or the chattering of excited art students. It was the smooth casual voice that haunted me, along with the intense smell that I instantly fought against. Marcus had his back to me, talking about something that I didn't even worry about with the art teacher. I wanted to bolt from the art room, but he seemed to sense me in the room and turned around, his smile stopped my urge to run. The madness that I feared screamed through me and I knew I was in too deep.