HOW TO BE.....(HEHE JOKE).....EMMETT!

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*OMEAMC(RP)AJB(TL)AF* Do not own any of the Gorgeous Twilight characters or Twilight for that matter, the best writer on the earth Stephenie Meyer does.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAH- MY FOURTH FANFIC MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. luv u xx

Set at anytime, but Nessie is not born and Bella is still human.

I've decided to start dedicating chapters to my friends,family and reviewers. So this chapter is dedicated to my little sister, who is soooooo special. Freya.

Chapter 6- Shopping With Emmett

EmmettPOV

Teeheee, i'm so excited! Rosalie is going to take me shopping! Alice will be joining us but, Eddie is going over to Bella's to stalk her. I'm making a mental list of things I will buy. "EMMETT!" Edward shouted from downstairs. I was down them steps in a matter of seconds. " Yeah?"

" Don't buy a red,frilly thong please" He begged me.

"Why? Don't I like good in one?" I showed him a mental picture of me in red thong. There was a gagging noise and a whooosh. Where did he go? Ohwell. I got some money from my room, and went to join Rose and Pixie in the car. I'm going to write a chapter on shopping for my guide, on the way to mall. Here goes.

Shopping With Emmett

When you get to the mall, the first shop you go into is a sex shop. This is perfectly good Emmett behavior. Rose will think you are going to treat her, just don't tell her this is to dress up in for fun.

If Shortie aka Alice, asks you to carry her bags, throw yourself on the floor and scream at the top of your lungs "I DON'T WANNA!" .

Take Rosalie into her favourite shop, find Alice, maker her drink Redbull, and run over to the Walmart. (A/N Is that what they are caled in America? Can someone tell me on a review please?)

When you get to the Walmart, Alice will be really shaken up and hyper. Play a game of dares, for instance, dare Alice to smash all the plates in the Home isle. Play dares untill you are kicked out by a short, fat man called "guard". What a stupid name.

When you get back to the car, Rosalie will be really angry so, pull out the frilly panties and wave them in her face. She will instantly calm down.

Oh. We are here, good thing I finished my guide. Now I shall test it out............

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