"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth."

~Benjamin Disraeli

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"What are you doing here you piece of shit?"

"Trying to fix this! Why won't you let me?"

"You don't deserve it. That's why, Nathanial! You get everything you want and you don't even have to work for it. Not everything can be fixed by your blue eyes and pretty boy looks!"

"Maybe not, but at least I make an effort. I'm just trying to help you, man—"

"Help me?"

Hard breathing. Three steps, then shouting.

"You've never helped me before Nathanial."

A sneer. Decadence seems to have corrupted his humanity.

"When my father died, you weren't there, Blair was. When I opened Victrola, you weren't there, Blair was. When I tried to kill myself—"

A sharp intake of breath. Ignorance.

"YOU WEREN'T THERE. Blair was. That's all I need. You're a so-called 'buddy' but you're never there when it really matters. I was there to bail you out of your trouble with Carter Baizen. I was there to bail your family out of financial trouble when your father royally screwed you over."

Labored breathing. Expensive shirts crumpled as one boy grabbed the other by his collar.

"I was even there the whole time you and Blair went out. I helped you with all your gifts, all of your fights, all of your problems. And THIS is how you repay me? By taking the only girl I've ever loved? Even after I told you I was in love with her? A real friend you are. You never even loved her, yet you can't let someone have her who does. I'm just done Nathanial. You can take your pretty boy looks and go fuck someone else over."

A drop as one boy let the other go and he hits the dust. Tears forming in both boys' eyes.

"But, Chuck, we've been best friends forever…"

"Well consider forever ending right about now."

"But…"

The tears overflow from Chuck's eyes. Nate stares at him in amazement. He has never seen this boy cry. Chuck's voice remains harsh.

"Go learn to be a better friend. And while you're at it, a better boyfriend."

His voice changes, becoming soft.

"All I ask is that you try to make Blair happy like I could have made her happy. All I want is for her to be happy. And if it's with you, then fine. But we're done."

Chuck turns to leave. His shoulders are slumped as he tries to repress the tears that are already flowing down his cheeks. His stone face looks pained with emotion. Chuck's shoes crunch against the gravel as he walks away, leaving Nate sitting in the dust staring after his retreating figure.

Nate rubbed his head, thinking hard. All he had done was try to talk to Chuck. Blair hadn't been able to tell him what was wrong, but he had noticed she was not the same lately. He was pretty sure it had to do with Chuck. Now he knew why Chuck was so annoyed, but he had no clue what was up with Blair.

The emotion he had just seen in Chuck had amazed him. He had never seen him show a flicker of emotion besides slight amusement and pleasure when his plans fell into place. This was so unlike him that Nate wasn't sure what to say. Chuck was a stone being, never moved by such trivial things such as love or sadness. His sadness was interior, bottled up so no one could see his weakness. But it was all displayed for Nate as Chuck professed his contempt for his best friend for taking the love of his life. This was so rare that Nate believed this show of emotions instantly as the truth behind Chuck's stone mask and lack of emotions. This was a weakness that Chuck would never admit to unless it was the cold, hard, undeniable truth. Chuck could not change this. He felt it so deeply that it was a part of him. And he only displayed it because he had finally come to terms with the fact that he couldn't deny it anymore. So Nate believed him instantly.

Nate was so annoyed with himself. How had he let himself do this? He was hurting Blair. He was hurting Chuck. All for his family. Suddenly, Nate thought of himself last year. He had almost gotten engaged to Blair right after they had broken up so that Blair's mother wouldn't break her business deal with his father. It was a thing he had done a year ago. He had gotten Blair all excited about getting back together, then he had dumped her once and for all. He had hurt her again. No matter what he did he seemed to hurt Blair. All because he didn't know what he wanted. Somehow this thought hit a nerve in Nate. He hadn't changed at all since last year? He was still putting himself before the other people he loved. Something about this seemed so wrong. Nate felt his blood boil, his heart pump faster, his fists clench. He wasn't just going to let this happen all over again. He was going to change this. He was going to stop his family's control over his life. He was ready to stand up for himself once and for all.

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