A/N: I own nothing. Not WOWP or the song Gone So Young by Amber Pacific.
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She sat there. Looking directly at the pointed edge. And the shimmer that came off of the long, slender part of the knife. The handle was small. And easy to hold. She held it in her right hand, and had her left index finger press onto the point of the knife. She knew how wrong this was, and how much help she needed. But it was his fault she was stuck here. His fault that had brought her here.
Alex slid the non-sharp side of the knife on her left wrist. The pressure brought her to tears. She knew she wanted to do this. But how much she wanted to do it she did not know.
"How could he?" she asked herself. "What made him leave? Am I that insane? That I scared him away? Well then that will have to be fixed." She repeated her first motion again. And there was still no blood.
She brought the knife to her neck. Repeating the motion of having the non-sharp side touching her body. "Now that is too dangerous," she said aloud, "No one can help me now," she muttered under her breath.
The tears were pouring down her face now, and she took a strong hold on the knife. Holding the handle where she had the knife upside down in her hand. Screaming, she violently swung the knife fast, sending it straight at her wall. Making it go two inches in.
"Why? Why? What makes it so hard for me to do this?" she asked her self, more tears pouring down her face. She thrashed back onto her bed crying, and slammed her fist down onto her bed, making everything shake.
She bounced up quickly sending herself straight at her wall. Her feet hitting the ground heavy and screaming, "It's all his fault...he never even truly left!" She reached the knife, putting her head on the wall and started balling again. She grabbed the knife, with the tears and whimpers coming out, and tried to pull it out. She could feel her nose running, and she also knew she wasn't going to be able to get the knife out. No matter how badly she wanted it to come out.
She let go of the knife, and slid down to the ground sitting with her knees to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees and felt more tears pour out of eyes. She was coughing, and heavily crying, and she knew everything was a mess. Her hair, her make up, her mind...and there was nothing she could do at the moment.
She looked up at her steak knife that sat in her wall, "You can't come out bitch? Just to help me now? You have to stay in there? And keep me from doing what I want? I know I want this, you can't tell me different." The knife just looked back at her, and she took her right fist screaming again and thrusting it into the wall, leaving no imprint. She started crying again, lightly hitting the same spot over and over again.
She glanced over at the photo of him and her sitting happily smiling at the camera, asking the non-responsive photo, "Did I love you? Did you love me? Is that possible? Then why did you have you drop me! WHY! If only you could see how hurt I am now!" The photo just kept smiling at her.
She quickly got up, stomping back to her bed, she jumped up onto her bed, and ripped the photo off the wall. Throwing it at the opposite wall, where her knife was stuck, watching the glass and frame break.
"ARE YOU HAPPY YET! HUH?" She screamed into the ceiling, "I'M FINALLY CRAZY!" She stomped off her bed, and went over to the broken glass, carefully picking the photo up out of the glass and placing it on her vanity. She then picked it up again, and looked at his smiling face. He was so happy to be holding her right there, and it took her back to when it was taken. Right after the flash went off he kissed her forehead, and said to her, "Remember, I will always love you." Alex screamed again, and started crying.
She reached for her knife in the wall, but still couldn't pull it out. She took a step forward now remembering she had no shoes on. She had stepped on the glass, feeling it cut her toes. She reached down with tears pouring down her face, picked up a piece of glass, looked at it very closely the answered, "Hello, my friend."
She took the shattered glass in her right hand, staring at it, knowing how quick and easy this would be. She ran her index finger on the side of it, feeling it rip into her skin. She looked at her wrist, and put the glass right to it. On top of it, but not moving it. She felt a smile finally come across her face, and coughed up another cry. The tears came back, and she slid the glass over her left wrist, not feeling the pain that should have been there. She looked at her blood that started to pour out of the wound she now created. The crimson color was all that she had wanted.
She looked as it started to drip onto her floor, and she put her wrist out of her vision and grabbed the gauze she had waiting on her bed, and wrapped her wound up. She then walked over, pulled the knife out of the wall, and placed it on her vanity. Cleaning the glass up she sang to herself, "Where ever you go, I will be waiting, when ever you call, I will be there, what ever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright."
She trashed the glass, placing the photo with tape onto her ceiling right above her bed where her head rested. She looked deep into the eyes that would give her no response, and whispered, "I miss you sweetheart, I love you, and I wish I was with you right now and always."