What if:
Chapter 7: Daddy
Note: This chapter was inspirited by a cartoon. "Father and Daughter" is an animated film by Michael Dudok De Wit, Length with 8 minutes 30 seconds. This movie has Oscar for Good animated short film in 2000 with many other awards. The story's about a father says goodbye to his young daughter and leaves. As the wide Dutch landscapes live through their seasons so the girl lives through hers. She becomes a young woman, has a family and in time she becomes old. Even she is an old woman, she's still wait or her father. One day the old woman run to the sea (or river?), now not full of water anymore. In the center of the sea, she found her father's boat, she lay down and be young again…
The French guard took a furtive look at their commander, after heard the conversation between her and André. And Alain was smiling while seeing his commander act like a child, "only you can make her act like this" he thought and smiled with André.
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- I see the relationship between you and your fiancé are making good progress!- general Jarjayes said while eating breakfast with his daughter
- Father, he's not my fiancé any more!
- Oh, so you agree that he WAS? And by the way, he didn't take his proposal back!
- What?
- Oscar…- general Jarjayes stop eating – after you ruin the ball last week, I went out looking for you…
Oscar startled, that was the time she and "her fiancé" was…
- And I saw you, with him..-general Jarjayes continued after observed her face for a while
- Ok, father, I have to go to the barracks!
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- Mademoiselle Oscar!- Girodelle smiled at the time he stepped into her office…he sure look very handsome when he smile.
- What are you doing here?- Oscar asked without raise her head to look at him – and did I tell you not to call me mademoiselle? – she was reading something
- Ma…commander, this's a little impolite and doesn't suit for a lady like you!
First is mademoiselle, and now lady?
Oscar feel the blood was running to her head.
- Could you excuse me? I'm very busy now!
- Oh, in that case, I'll say shortly…
- Ok, what do you want to say?
- Your father and I had discussed about our engagement party…
- EXCUSE ME? – She sprang up in bewilderment – What party?
The smile on Girodelle's face became wider, his eyes was smiling too. Somehow, it made him look very captivating…but it didn't work with Oscar
- I knew you would respond like this. – he said – that means general Jarjayes didn't tell you yet?
- No, he didn't! And I hope he won't! – she answer with a furious look on her face
- Now you know already! I just want us consult together…
- There're nothing to talk about! – Oscar got her composedness back – now, I said I'm busy…- she sat down and continued reading
- Oscar, I only want to make a party that you will never forget!
- I won't remember this talking anyway! – her eyes were stuck on the papers
- I guess it's the time to leave…
- You know the way out! – she never look at Girodelle again, until he stopped in front of the door
- You know, Oscar, if I could give you an advice, I would say there's useless as reading blank papers!
And Girodelle heard the sound of something had been threw to the door after he closed it behind him…
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-Commander, we have some problem with…- Alain ran into his commander office, and he saw an ink slab was laying on the ground - this is…- he wondered, why it was here but not on her desk…
- What? – Oscar shouted, the talking with Girodelle effected her more than she thought
- Oh…The old man Soulain, seem like he just had a heart attack…- seeing the mad in her eyes, Alain know he better not asking about it.
- Probably he just pretended!
- I don't think so, commander…
- Why?
- Because…my father died of a heart attack…
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- Is he ok?
- He'll be fine, it just the long way made him tired! – the doctor answered – you can send him back to the prison.
- Thank you, I think I'll let him stay here tonight! – Oscar said while looking at the man was laying on the bed of infirmary.
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That was a silent night…too silent…there was no sound, no wind, not even a breeze…the old man opened his eyes…
Why is it quiet? Am I died?
He tried to look around, but it is impossible with his condition now…He couldn't move his head without being dazed…He saw a weakly light, an unsteady light of a candle…unsteady…like his heart, his life…
Since his daughter disappear, his heart became weaker. Éliza was his strength, his happiness. He was happy watching her growing up, he thought he is healthy enough to live till she get marriage…Oh, Éliza…she was counting day by day to her wedding. She was beautiful, when talking about the paradise she would get, after she has a husband…her eyes was alight with joy, her hair waving in the wind as if it is golden silks…and the golden silks was waving in front of his face right now!
- ÉLIZA! – he cried, jumped on his foot, and then felt down on the ground.
- Are you ok? – Oscar asked, she was almost help him stand up, but she stopped as seeing him can managed very well, he's a criminal anyway.
- Oh…it's you…
- Yes, it's me…
- I wonder why a woman has to be working in army?- Soulain ridiculed
- Because she want to!- Oscar answered composedly
- Where did she get that idea anway?
-...from her father!
Father
That word nearly made him fall into a heart attack again...he didn't hear that for many years...
- And you're happy with this?
- Why shouldn't I?
-...my daughter...- he looked at the floor with blank eyes - she wanted to stay home with her fiancé, but I asked her go to buy me some wine...- and he turned his eyes to the ceiling - just because of some wine...I lost my daughter because of wine...
- I don't need to know about that! – Oscar said, and stepped toward the door, this's not the time to be clement.
- You know – Soulain talked after her – I knew you're a woman from the beginning!
- Really...
- I know you're not happy with your life, maybe you did, but not right now...
-...how do you know?- she stopped, her hand was holding the door handle
- Your eyes, girl...your eyes...- he smiled with her – you have woman's eyes - the smile of a father - I can see that in your eyes, and I believe your daddy see it too!
- I never call my father "daddy"! – Oscar dragged a halfsmile out of her lips then closed the door.
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"You have woman's eyes"
Oscar was sitting in her office now, she remember very well what the old man had said last night.
"I know you're not happy with your life, maybe you did, but not right now..".
Am I not happy now? Why not? This's the life I was always waiting for…I was delighted when father said I'll join the royal guard. My heart lighted up when father said I'll become the personal guard of the crown princess…I was really happy. I WAS, but now? Am I happy now?
I don't know what do I want now…
"Your father and I had discussed about ourengagement party…"
Engagement party! What did he think? He certainly know I don't want to get marriage, I never think of that! What do I need a man for? I can do everything by my self, don't I?
" you have woman's eyes "
What's the difference between man and woman anyway? Is it so clear to see in the eyes? Are man's eyes and woman's eyes not the same? They're only just eyes, for God sake!
How can he knew I'm a woman? He lie or he knew because he's a father? What does a father know anyway? What does my father know? What does he think? Why did he want to find a husband for me?
"I believe your daddy see it too!"
I was never call him DADDY, and I never will… But why not I?
Why?
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- Be prepare, we need a carriage!- she told André
- Where will we go?
- Paris!
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- No, he's not a noble, let him go! – Oscar screamed in the stranglehold of mob. They had been attacked when the commoners saw them in the noble carriage.
- They won't listen to you!- André shouted – Run, Oscar, run…
What did you say? How can I run? How can I left you? Ah…
Too dark…why is it too dark?
And too quiet…what'd happened? Where's the noise? Where's the mob? Where's HE?
She opened her eyes slowly
Fersen?
- Are you alright? – Fersen asked – you just fainted for a minute…
- Ah…- she felt pain behind her head
- Be careful…
- I'm fine…but…- she looked around – where's André?
- Hah? Oh, André…he…
- He is in there? – she looked at Fersen with wide eyes, how could he left him there? How could she left him there? Fersen could see the fright in her eyes, and her face was pale with fear…then she rushed him and ran, but he stopped her
- What are you trying to do? Are you insane?
- Let me go! My André is in danger…- Oscar cried, and she startled for a moment
My André?
What did I say? My André?
She just stood there, she didn't heard Fersen said, she didn't know he was gone…she only woke up when the mob ran after him and left André on the ground.
André!....my André….
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- Oscar!
Oscar heard the shriek, and she was really surprise while seeing her father running to the infirmary
- I heard you'd been attacked- he said, still was catching his breath – are you ok?
- I'm alright, father- she said and stood up – but we better talk tomorrow, André need some rest right now…
- No, you'll come home tonight!
- He can't take that trip, he's hurt!
- Who are you talking about?
- André, of course!
- I meant you only, André can stay here!
- What did you think father? – Oscar yelled, but then she remembered André was sleeping – I can't leave him! – she lowed her voice
- He'll be fine, just go home!
- I said I'm ok, father, don't worry! – she closed the door of the infirmary, she don't want he wake up…
- No, you are not ok! Go home, Oscar! This's an order!
- I'm ok! And I won't take this order!
- Oscar!
- Why everything you said is order? Why I have to do whatever you told me?
- Oscar, what'd happened to you? Did the attack make you lose your mind?
- Actually, it brought my mind back! You're the one who took it away from me!
After that short conversation, they were both silent, looking at each other, tried to guess what was the other thinking…
- Forgive me father…this time, I won't follow your command…-Oscar stopped that moment
- Oscar…
- And the marriage thing with Girodelle, I won't either…
- What didn't satisfy you about him? He's perfect!
- He's a good man…but I don't need a man, father…- she was looking at the door, noticed it was automatically opened…was it the wind? Yeah…properly the wind…
- You do, Oscar! A woman always need a man!
- Woman? – she looked at him I surprised- Am I not your…son?- She said with a light irony, too light that it was going to be gone with the wind…
- Oscar, you're my daughter! I'm doing what a father should do, protect his daughter from any danger…
- No, I'm your son, I'm always your son!- she closed her eyes, she could feel the breeze was fondling, was playing on her skin…
- Oscar…- general Jarjayes looked at her – I'm sorry…I should never raised you as a man…- he put his hand on her shoulder, he could felt she was sharking- come home Oscar, and be a woman again…
For a moment, Oscar thought he would embrace her in his arms, like father do to daughter, but she stepped back…
- If that happened…If I was raised like a woman…then what?
- Then what?
- Getting dressed up, rose perfume…marriage at the age 15…Would I do that? – Oscar said, sounding oddly out of breath…
- Oscar…
- Giving birth, perhaps once a year…- she continued, without looking at her father for any minute…- and,my servant, my playmate, wouldn't be André – she looked at the man was in the dark room – that would be another girls, whom call me "my lady", and has tea parties instead of fencing with me? – and for the first time after a long heavy stressful moment, she looked at general Jarjayes in the eyes – answer me, father!
- … Yes, Oscar…-he answered slowly – that'll happen if you was raised as a woman!
- Then, thank you father!- she stepped into the room – I'm happy as being the child of Mars…- her sound as light as her breath – I'm happy now…
And she closed the door
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"that'll happen if you was raised as a woman!"
Father…but why do you want me comeback to be a woman right now? Why it has to be this time? After all those years I lived like a man?
" I'm doing what a father should do, protect his daughter from any danger…"
What danger? What will happen to me anyway, father? Didn't you tell me have to be strong in any situation? Be strong like a man?
"you're my daughter!"
Ahh…I know why I didn't call you "daddy"…you didn't call me "your daughter", you were never call me "daughter" before…I was always your son, always…until now!
"…my playmate, wouldn't be André"
Why did I never think of that before? Why did I always thought he certainly has to be with me?
"my André"
Why did I say that? Why did I always thought he certainly be mine?
" that would be another girls, whom call me "my lady", and has tea parties instead of fencing with me?"
Where did I get that idea? Hah! Tea party, I wonder what is it like? If I have to chose, I prefer fencing! If I have to chose, I prefer…to be with you, André…
André…
"What do I need a man for? I can do everything by my self, don't I?"
I can do anything by myself, but I never did! You was always there with me, André…
And honestly, I like that…
I can do everything by my self, but if I did, if I was alone all those years, if I was without you all those years…can I continue?
I can do everything by my self, but is it ok to be alone? Is it still the same if you wasn't there?
I can do everything by my self, but I can't do anything without you…André…
I can't do anything without you…my André…
To be continued.
Note: I wrote this based on the manga. In the anime, general Jarjayes forced Oscar put on the uniform and became Antoinette's personal body guard. But in the manga, she was really happy to take that duty.