Lemon Crunch

This also is in response to a request by Ez. I kinda based it off the old movie Killer Tomatoes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Speaking- "Test"
Thought- "Test"
Lemon drop thoughts- "Test."

Hogwarts Dungeon

"Blast him," cursed Snape as he emptied out the bag of lemon drops the old man gave him. "Take these, he says. Make them better, he says. I'll show him. I'll make them so sour that his face stays scrunched up. Maybe then I can get some rest."

His day had gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours. First, Potter blows up is cauldron and covers the entire room in whatever it was it was brewing. Sure wasn't a headache potion. Then the old man calls him to his office asks him to create a better lemon drop. He says he has grown tired of his regular ones. "If it's not Potter, it's the old man."

Now Snape in his tired state failed to realize a simple fact. He was breaking one of his own rules. Never brew your potions in the same room that your students use. You never know what might happen. Due to this oversight he failed to notice when a glob of the stuff Potter created fell into his boiling cauldron.

"I'll add one lemon drop and see how it turns out," Snape said as he plucked one into the cauldron.

As he withdrew his hand from above the cauldron another gob of Potter's potion fell onto his hand. "What," he said alarmed as he looked up. "This can't be good. Potter…"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off as the cauldron exploded.

Slowly dragging himself up, he looked at the destruction caused. The entire room was in shambles. When he found Potter, he would ensure the boy begged for death.

As he stalked off to find the blasted boy he failed to see the slightly larger lemon drop attach itself to his pant's leg.

Hallway

"Severus, are you alright," asked Dumbledore as he ran into him in the hallway. "The wards alerted me to an explosion in your classroom."

"I'm fine, it's your golden boy that you have to worry about."

"Harry?"

"How many other golden boys do we have here? Yes Harry!" he screamed. "Because of his incompetence, my classroom is in ruins. My potions are ruined."

"He's just a boy," smiled Dumbledore. "I'm sure it was just an accident. If we go and find him, I'm sure he will apologize."

"I don't care anymore," he yelled. "I've had it with him. You will not coddle him anymore."

"Now, now," Dumbledore said as he tried to placate his potions professor. The man was likely to have a heart attack if he kept this up. "Let's go find Mr. Potter and discuss this like men."

"I'll discuss it," Snape muttered.

"By the way, did you finish my lemon drops?"

Snape's left eyebrow twitched at the thought the disaster that occurred because of those thrice damned lemon drops. "No."

"Oh well, maybe next time."

They both failed to notice the excess magic rolling off Snape being absorbed by the lemon drop still attached to his leg. While the potion disaster gave the lemon drop life, Snape's magic was making it sentient.

"There will be no next time," Snape snarled. "I refuse to go anywhere near those things again. Those muggle sweets are disgusting."

"You've never had any," Dumbledore said as he popped one in his mouth. "They are most excellent."

Now one might think that a lemon drop would not care about another one being eaten. But I ask you this, have you ever come across a sentient lemon drop, and one given life by Snape no less. If not, let me tell you, they are pretty particular about being eaten. So of course the only sentient lemon drop took offence to Dumbledore eating what it considered family, however distant.

"If I ever see another one, I'll personally shove down the Dark Lords throat. They are vile creations."

The lemon drop, upon hearing his declaration, decided that it needed to get away from these violent and hardened criminals. Taking the opportunity it jumped from Snape to a passing student.

Two weeks later

"Albus," persisted Professor McGonagall. "You can't be serious about keeping the school open. Over thirty students and four professors have gone missing. And that's not counting Voldemort and his Death Eaters. We know they got in the castle, but we can't find them."

"All will be fine," he insisted as he sucked on another lemon drop. "We shall catch the culprit."

"Culprit? We don't even know who or what it is," she screamed. "We should close the school down."

"I'll tell you what," he said in a soothing manner. "You go back to your rooms and play with that new stand you got and I will take a nice refreshing walk through the castle and see what I can discover."

"Fine," she snapped. "See if I care."

Astronomy Tower

"Why does she worry so much," Dumbledore muse aloud. "The students must have snuck out of school and the professors are just on an early vacation."

Creak

"I mean it's not like there is some giant monster in the castle. Harry killed it back in his second year."

Creak

"If there was a monster, I wouldn't be up here in this dark tower all alone."

Creak

"There would probably be some creature following me like that thing behind me."

Creak

"Wait a minute," he thought. "Behind me? This can't be good."

Creak

Turning around he met sight that bewildered him. "A giant lemon Drop? Maybe Minerva was right. I might be eating too many sweets in my old age. Really, a lemon drop with hands and feet."

Creak

"Hello," he called uncertainly. "How are you today?"

Creak

"Are you lost?" he called again. "I can direct you to the nearest candy store. Or perhaps you are a gift for me?"

The creaking sound kept getting louder as the creature got closer.

Another thought came to mind, "You wouldn't by chance be the reason behind my missing students and professors, would you?"

"Arrrgh."

"I'll take that as a yes," he said. "Would you mind telling me where they are and where you came from?"

"Arrrgh. Leeeeee"

"No, I'm Albus Dumbledore, not Lee," he said drawing his wand. "Now I must insist you tell me where they are."

"Leeeeem."

"No, not Lee. It's Albus Dumbledore."

"Lemon drop killer," the creature finally managed to roar.

"Me? A killer," said Dumbledore shakily. He didn't like where this was heading. "I'm going to have to ask that you stay where you are. No, don't come any closer. Bombarda. Confringo."

Upon seeing that his spells had little effect upon the creature, he decided that retreating was the better part valor at the moment. "Thing must have skin like a manticore."

The thing was fast for something its size. Dumbledore chanced a glance behind him only to see the thing right on heels. Hoping to make it to his office, he neglected to watch where he was running which led to him tripping over Snape.

"Watch out," Snape snarled. He was in no mood to deal with anyone, even Dumbledore.

"Sorry my boy," Dumbledore said as he hurried to get up. "Would you mind standing right here for the next few seconds? Thanks."

"What," Snape demanded as he watched Albus retreat to his office. "What's going on!"

"Arrrgh. Nastyyyy Mannnn."

"Now you hold…." Snape started as he turned around. "Merlin, this is going to hurt."

The creature swiped at Snape with of its oversized hands. "Where did bad human go," it thought. "It was right here. Oh well, my issue is with the killer."

It continued up the hallway, not even stopping to move the statue guarding the entrance. Smashing the statute, it climbed up the steps, growing more excited as it neared its target. It would avenge its brothers and sisters.

Dumbledore's Office

He had made it. His office would keep him safe until the creature was dealt with. "I'm sure Harry will take care of it."

Thump

"What?"

Thump

"Sounds like a battering ram."

His thoughts were stopped as the lemon drop crashed through the last wall. "Killer."

"Now you just hold on," he said. "I've never killed a lemon drop. Bombarda." Nothing was working. Charms, curses, and transfiguration all failed.

The giant lemon drop leaned forward, ignoring the spells being cast and grabbed Dumbledore by the waist.

"Now I know what my lemon drops must feel like."

The creature slowly hefted Dumbledore into its open mouth. Swallowing, he cut off the last screams for help the killer was making.

"Professor McGonagall," Harry called. "The Headmaster is missing. I went to his office and there is this large hole leading up to it. His office is a wreck and there is this large hole leading outside."

"Wait here," she ordered. "I'll check it out."

Harry neglected to mention that he thought he was seeing things.

­Flashback

As Harry was walking to the Headmaster's office he heard screams for help coming from the ceiling. Usually that was just peeves or one of the twins but this time the voice sounded familiar.

"Get me down. Potter, I know you can hear me. Get me down. I know this somehow your fault. Get me down."

Looking up he saw Professor Snape stuck to the ceiling covered in some sticky yellow goo. "I gonna pretend that I didn't see that," he said. "I have to get out in the sun more."

The end