A/N You should probably listen to the song In Our Bedroom After the War by Stars before reading this. I think that this is out of character for Near, but w/e. I like the song and got the idea at three am.
There was a comfortable warmth surrounding me, and I opened an eye. "Good morning." No one was there, I already knew this, but it felt nice to do this once and a while.
I looked out the window, the tree blocked any view of what I could have seen otherwise, but I liked the pattern the branches created through the glass. I walked over and rested my arms on the sill, forehead pressed to the cool glass.
The war was over.
Mello, Matt, L, and Kira were all dead. But they ended up living through me. I knew them more than anyone else who was alive, I could figure out how they would act, and what they would do.
I had to do this for L. I was L. L however, was not me.
I was slowly killing myself, pretending to be like him.
But the war was over.
The sound of the bells echoed up to my window, the church was relatively close. It played along with the birds, somehow making me feel better.
The war was over, and I had won.
I won, but so many people had lost. Lost their lives because of this.
Mello went away when he was so young, just to beat me. He didn't win; he died, along with Matt. I could not have won without him, which didn't make him lose. But he didn't win.
He wanted to so badly.
L had not lost, he knew Light was Kira. He had not won either though, a heart attack caused his death by the one he tried to bring down.
Kira seemed to have lost, dying at the end. He had hot lost though, not really. The world was changed because of him. Not for long after he died, but he had done what he wanted. He changed the world, and in return, the world was in awe of him. He had made the criminal rates go down, he didn't win, yet he didn't lose.
Everyone had not won nor lost, did that mean the same for me? I twirled a stand of my hair around my finger.
But the war is over.
I was losing sight of whom I was, I was recreating L to live, adding bits of Mello, Matt and Light in.
Slowly killing myself to make the dead live on, after the war.