Gundam SEED does not belong to me.

Sorry, English is not my mother tongue and I do not have a beta reader at the moment, so you will probably find some mistakes and the dialogues might come across as rather awkward . I apologize in advance for that.

This story is set in the future, ten years after the events of Gundam SEED.


The coldest hour

C.E. 71 - 15 of April

Athrun saw the Strike raising its blade and he knew he was going to die. But, at least, he would have been free. Free from the pain to fight his friend Kira. Free from the expectancies that everyone put on his shoulders. From the grief that made his heart bleed every time his thoughts run to his mother. Free from his father's grasp.

He waited, but instead of the blessed blow a shout pierced his ear.

"Athrun!"

The blue-haired boy looked in disbelieve as the Blitz appeared out of nowhere, charging the Strike with one of its darts in its left hand.

Kira's mobile suit swung his blade but, few moments before to hit the Blitz, its large body was rocked by a massive explosion.

"Athrun, what are you doing?" Yzak shouted over the comm.

"Run, idiot" Dearka added angrily, shooting another volley of grenades against the Strike.

But Athrun couldn't do anything else but to watch.

Confused by the sudden attack the Strike lost his momentum, and the mobile suit of Nicol easily dodged the blade.

As if it was a slow motion movie Athrun saw the Blitz embed deeply its dart into the torso of the Strike, where it exploded.

Deeply damaged, the white mobile suit made two, three steps before Yzak charged it with his laser sabre.

"This is for Miguel and Rusty, you bastard" he shouted while slicing the Strike in two.

"KIRAAAA" Athrun could not stop himself screaming as the once powerful unit disintegrated in front of his eyes.

They were celebrating.

The muffled sounds of the party reached him, and Athrun unsuccessfully tried to block them pressing the hands against his ears. He could not blame his companions, though. The Strike had fallen and everyone on board was sure that the legged ship would soon have shared the same destiny. Victory was within grasp, after so many battles and losses.

No, Athrun could not blame them at all.

'No, it's all of my fault if you died, Kira. I should have been more convincing. I should have kidnapped you yesterday and took you here, where you'd have been safe among people like you. Oh, Kira, what have I done?'

The door opened, but he didn't move, not even when he heard the gentle, almost feminine voice of Nicol calling him.

"Athrun…"

Not really wanting to see him, Athrun didn't look up.

"Nicol, please, leave."

"Not without you. What are you doing here all alone, Athrun? Why are you crying?"

He didn't reply.

'Why do you have always to be like this, Nicol? So gentle, sensible, so fucking affectionate to me? And then, what have you done today? You killed Kira…'

"What's wrong, Athrun?" Nicol asked again, and Athrun snapped.

He felt his self-control evaporate as his eyes met Nicol's brown ones.

"You know… my best friend died today. Killed by you and the others. Sorry if I don't feel like celebrating."

Nicol paled. "Your best… what do you mean?"

"The Stike's pilot. I knew him. He was like a brother to me, can you understand that? Do you remember yesterday, the teenager with the bird? That was Kira."

"But he was going to kill you" Nicol faintly protested.

Athrun knew he was going to hurt the boy, the only person really kind to him in ZAFT, and that Nicol did not deserve that, but he could not stop his words full of rage, resentment and sadness.

"No. He would have never done something like that. He would have never harmed me, he was too sweet and too gentle to do something like that" he spat out, tears on his cheeks.

Now, the look on Nicol's face was of pure misery.

"Athrun… what if he killed me instead? Would have you been happier now?"

"Don't be stupid. He would have never killed you!" Athrun shout, looking away and erupting in inconsolable sobs.

After few seconds Nicol left.

"I'm sorry Athrun… I'm sorry to be alive" the young pianist quietly said, but his friend was not listening to him any more, lost in his own despair.

Ten years later – Aprilius City

The capital of the Solar System looked chilly under the pale moonlight. The artificial clouds lingered in the sky above, not hiding the stars that shined in the dark firmament, as if they were the brilliant eyes of some alien goddesses, who looked down amused at the human struggle to survive.
The view was stunning, but Athrun wasn't exactly in the mood to appreciate it. Exactly ten years before the war that had killed so many among Coordinators ended with the complete defeat of the Earth Alliance forces and the blue planet, once cradle of all human life, became a place of sorrow and pain.

There the Coordinators, now the dominant race, fulfilled their promise to avenge the deaths of Junius Seven, turning the Naturals into slave workers, donors of genetic materials, and non consensual specimen. And he, Athrun Zala, the son of the man who successfully led PLANT in winning the war, could only watch, as his father twisted his personal vendetta into a genocide, and PLANT into a ruthless dictatorship. Nonetheless, it was a nation that had stretched its influence till the borders of the Solar System and beyond. The Coordinators adored Patrick Zala.

Now, ten years later, it seemed to Athrun that to watch, feeling every ounce of regret and grief, was the only thing left to him, since his friend Kira Yamato died at the hands of his comrades, so many years before on an anonymous island in the Pacific Ocean.

It seemed to him that he had shed all of his tears that day, turning into a mindless killing machine, just a marionette in the hands of his father. After Kira's death, the only light of redemption Athrun could harbour extinguished inside of him. He knew his father was only using him but it didn't matter any more.

After the war, he came back home decorated as a war hero and, carrying himself like a well trained puppy, he married the girl promised to him since their childhood. Lacus Clyne was an intelligent and caring woman despite the naïve appearances but, like him, she was nothing more than a decoration for the government.

He sighed deeply, tearing his eyes away from the sky and forcing his lips into a smile. He had chosen the wrong night to be that depressed. Because that was a night of celebration. His closest friend, the newly appointed Commander of the Orbital Fleet was coming over dinner, and Lacus had all the intentions to make the event a success.

'It's only a dinner among friends' he had protested, but the young woman had been irremovable.

'It's been a year since you last saw him, you should be happy' and saying that she had rushed to the kitchen to personally prepare the food.

Athrun smiled more convincingly at the thought, as after many years he still considered the pink haired woman the only light that shined in his miserable life.

He was still thinking at Lacus, wondering what she had in store for dinner, when he heard the door of the private lift of his mansion opening, and he turned to properly welcome his friend.

Nicol Amalfi smiled him back.

"Athrun" he said, and the blue-haired young man couldn't resist in raising his right hand to his forehead.

"Commander Amalfi."

"Oh, please…" the other exclaimed, laughing.

The two old friends shook hands, and Athrun had to admit that Nicol looked stunning in the white uniform of the officers of highest rank.

He still kept many pictures of when they were Red Coats at their first assignment on the Vesalius, and while he, Yzak and Dearka had remained more or less the same, Nicol had grown from the short, good-natured teenager into a tall young man whose eyes seemed always to hide something. And Athrun knew exactly when he had first seen that look on the once cheerful pianist.

Commander Amalfi was a serious and smart officer but, sometimes, he sorely missed the old Nicol.

"This color fits you" he said, nonetheless, to his friend.

"Oh, really? I liked the black one much more, you know, but it was so funny to see Yzak's face when I received this one."

"Is he still mad at you because you got promoted?"

"Sure. The guy he used to call a coward now shares his same rank. Believe me, at the ceremony he was green with envy. We work together pretty well, though. Yzak's not much of a strategist, but his value on the battlefield is unmistakable."

"Who? The man with the fanciest hair in the Solar System?" Lacus asked, appearing in the hall.

Her eyes lit up when they crossed Nicol's ones.

Lacus took his hands, and rose on her tiptoes to lightly brush his cheek with her lips.

"Welcome back to PLANT, Commander."

"Again? Can't you call me just Nicol?" he protested, smiling affectionately at her.

Athrun looked and them and smiled too, however, his was more just a weary grin.

The dinner was good as, even though they had cooks, Lacus sometimes insisted in preparing her own and Athrun food. And she excelled in that, like in everything she did.

His husband looked at her, gorgeous in her white and amethyst dress, chatting happily with Nicol. Despite he didn't have time to play piano any more, and her career as a singer ended long before, they still loved to speak about music.

Lacus was Athrun's legitimate wife, but he could not deny the fact that their marriage was nothing more than a façade, as it had always been. He was sure to have been in love with her, somewhere in the past, but now they were reduced to be nothing more than very good friends.

He was certain that she would have been much happier with someone else, someone who was not her disillusioned husband.

Athrun raised from his chair, smiling at the two and muttering the excuse to leave he had prepared.

"I'm leaving, my father sent me a message requesting my presence. Probably this will take the whole night… no, I'm sure of it."

Nicol looked at him with unreadable brown eyes and the trace of a pale smile on his lips, while Lacus nodded graciously.

"He's working you too much…"

"I know, but… eh, all things considered I'm the only heir he has."

The very word was bitter on his lips, but he tried to collect himself, not to look more cynical that he already was.

"See you soon, Nicol."

"I'll be around for a couple of days, we might have the chance to meet again."

"It'd be sweet. See you…" Athrun saluted, walking to the lift.

Once inside, he leaned heavily against the wall.

'I knew he's your lover, but it doesn't matter. Nicol deserves you much more than me. I just hope you two could be happy for these few hours.'

He had another apartment in town where he could stay for the night, but the very thought to be alone scared him. So his fingers fumbled on the mobile keyboard, dialling a number. Perhaps, Meyrin was around to offer him a bit of comfort.

A tick silence descended upon them, disturbed only by the sound of Nicol's finger rubbing the rim of one glass.

"You should talk to him" he eventually said.

Lacus shook her head. "He already knows about us. It's fine for him, he has his own lover."

"I'm not talking about this."

"Please" she replied, her voice barely perceptible. "Allow me to think about it a bit more, maybe it's not the wiser solution to involve him. Athrun… you saw him, he's a very disenchanted man. He doesn't believe in anything, any more, he'll probably refuse to listen."

"You have to convince him. You know why."

Nicol looked away. "The reign of his father won't last forever and, when he'll be gone, the Council might decide they won't need the two weary symbols of the old tyrant any more."

"But Yzak seats in the Council, he won't sacrifice us. Isn't he part of the conspiracy as well?"

"Yes, but we can't wait that much. You are still very loved, and Athrun is a war hero, what if they decide to act now to weaken the power of Zala? The loss of his only son could be disastrous for him and… I don't want to lose you, Lacus."

Nicol raised to his feet, staring at her. "I love you Lacus, you know. I can't…"

She reached him, leaning into his embrace and gently brushing his short green hair.

"I love you too" she whispered. "But maybe it's you, the one who should talk to him."

Nicol shook his head. "I can't. He won't speak to me."

"Try…"

The young man pulled her closer, keeping his eyes on hers. "Lacus, I'm perfectly aware that, deep inside, he still hates me."

"Nicol, it was ten years ago…"

"Yes. Exactly ten years ago, in this same period, I, Yzak and Dearka killed his best friend, the one he considered a brother. He has never been the same after that, you know it. And you should understand him… you liked Kira Yamato too, isn't it?"

A shadow of that old scar resurfaced on her face but Lacus chased it away, frowning.

"Yes. But it was a battle, it was not that you wanted to kill him. You didn't even know who he was."

She lightly caressed his cheek. "In a sense, he was so much like you were in those years. So gentle and kind. I'm sure, you would have loved him too. But now, please, he's gone, while we are still here, and I need you so much tonight. Let's speak tomorrow about… everything else."

Then, she closed the distance between them to catch his lips in a passionate kiss.

Later that night, while watching Lacus peacefully asleep against him, Nicol couldn't help but to think that he had been indeed very lucky to survive all of those battles. But, perhaps, if he had died that day instead of Kira, maybe the future would have been totally different. It was a thought that had tortured him for years.
'Maybe he would have been here with you now…'

Nicol smiled sadly, running a fingertip on Lacus' bare shoulder that peek out from under the blanket. He was glad to be alive, and with the woman he loved more than his own life, but he had to admit that he wasn't satisfied with the turn that his life had taken.

After the Bloody Valentine war, Nicol decided to stay in ZAFT and to pursuit a career in the armed forces, where he had the possibility to protect his own people even if, through the years, he had also witnessed things that put all of them to shame.

That was why Yzak, Dearka, and many others among the officers and the personnel of ZAFT agreed with him: the dictatorship of Zala had to come to an end, to mend the mistakes of the Coordinators.

'Athrun is the key of everything. He, and that blond Natural, the leader of the resistance. How is her name… Cagalli… they have to meet. They are our only hope.'