C.E. 71 - 8 of May
They were winning so thoroughly that the battle was not even a battle any more. It was complete annihilation, with ZAFT's mobile suits chasing even after those ships that were in full retreat.
Not that they had any place where to hide, with the entire area controlled by Coordinators.
Athrun gripped tightly the handles of the Freedom, the new mobile suit assigned to him just before the battle.
It was ten times better that the Aegis, and its movements were smoother and faster than those of any other mobile suit he had ever ridden, but he could not appreciate them. He had lived the past weeks dragging his body around with lead legs, fulfilling quietly the orders so that none could fathom how completely broken he was inside.
Le Creuset had probably guessed, watching him with a mocking smile when Athrun reported that they had finally defeated the Strike. Nicol knew too, of course, but the young pianist was considerate enough not to spill his secret, or Yzak and Dearka would have not acted that friendly around Athrun.
Confidences in their abilities restored by the fall of the Strike, the two had never been that wild in battle, even more after their team had shot down the Archangel, one week later the death of Kira. The accomplishment had granted to the Four Horsemen, as Athrun and his comrades were now called, the Order of the Nebula and the two newest Mobile Suits of ZAFT, the ZGMF-X10A Freedom and the ZGMF-X09A Justice.
Athrun stopped his train of thoughts to mindlessly launching a couple of missiles against two fighters, not allowing them to retreat. Few weeks before he would have never fired on those who weren't fighting back, but now even that did not bothered him any more.
He looked around, spotting on his right side the blue and orange shape of the Duel. Two other fighters had engaged it, but the pilot efficiently destroyed them in the blink of an eyelash, slicing one in two with its beam sabre and vaporizing the other with a large bazooka that, after the battle with the Archangel, had been installed on the left arm of the Duel to replace the Shiva railgun destroyed in that occasion.
Athrun's month twisted in dismay as the Duel aggressively charged other jets, breaking their resistance in almost no time.
It was hard to believe that Nicol Amalfi was now piloting it, as the Blitz and the Aegis were under repair and Yzak had been assigned to the Justice. But the youngest pilot of their team had changed considerably after the battle with Kira, as if his innocence had died that day too. He and Athrun were carefully avoiding each other, and the blue-haired Coordinator had yet to find the strength to speak to him.
'Nicol had so clearly a teenage crush on me. Why did I have to break his heart like that? Why…?'
But Athrun could not find a reply. He just felt like to sink alone in his misery and, somehow, he was grateful that, at least, he could fight to keep his mind and body busy.
Suddenly, the stern voice of Yzak echoed inside the cockpit.
"Athrun, can you read me?" he asked over the comm.
"Of course."
"What are you doing stuck there? I'm detecting a weird surge of energy inside the base."
"What?" Athrun mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows. "Where is Commander Le Creuset?"
"Can't trace him."
"Let's go to check."
"Definitely. Can't trust the Naturals, they could have something up their sleeve" Yzak sneered.
The bowels of the Alaska Base were marked with the craters of explosion. Several Mobile Suits were still fighting, but the ZAFT forces had almost secured the outpost.
"Athrun" Yzak called, his tone tenser than before. "My scanner identified something underneath, but I can't figure out what it is."
"Can be some kind of explosive?" he replied.
"It could be. It would have been wise for them to make sure the base doesn't fall in our hands."
A knot of dread coiled in Athrun's belly. "But their people are still inside…"
On the other side of the comm, he heard Yzak mumbling a muffled curse. "Do you expect from rats like those to care for their own comrades? Let's go to ruin their plans."
"You two. Return to the ship. Immediately."
Athrun froze at the sound of Le Creuset's voice.
Quizzically, he shot a look at the main screen of the Freedom. The well known white unit of Le Creuset had appeared in front of him, as if materialized out of thin air.
"Commander, we have a problem under…"
"Yzak Joule, this is nothing of your concern" Le Creuset said, cutting off Yzak's explanation. "I repeat, return to the ship. This is an order."
The man's voice sounded chilly to Athrun's ears, and so much different from the usual warm and calculating tone that the boy widen his eyes in surprise. There was something strange going on there, and Le Creuset's stern order did not for sure help.
"But, Commander, what the Justice is detecting is something that could harm our own forces."
"You are acting stupidly, Yzak. These are soldiers, prepared to die anyway. And look around, can't you see that this place is almost secured?" Le Creuset lowered his voice, at an almost sweet tone. "You too are just tired. Fall back, there's nothing to be worry here."
"What?"
Now, Yzak's voice had turned icy. He had never dared to question their Commander's orders, but this one was so peculiar, and the pressure of the latest battles had strained Yzak's nerves so tightly that Athrun started to fear that his silver-haired companion could do something stupid.
Imperceptibly, he moved the Freedom between Yzak and Le Creuset, and then connected the comm just with the Justice, so that only his companion could hear him.
"What are you doing?" he hissed.
"I can't believe he said something like that. Even if we have almost secured the area, we can't be sure. Damn…"
"Calm down!" Athrun almost shouted, bearing his teeth. Then the video switched open, so that Patrick Zala's son could see the face of his Commander, deadly serious.
"Athrun Zala. You did well, so far. The sacrifice you had to endure was great, oh so great for someone young like you, and I suppose you don't want to ruin everything with a single act of insubordination, do you? Are you seriously doubting my judgement now? After all we've done to protect our homeland? After all you have done?" Le Creuset said, calm and collected as usual, and putting particular emphasis on his latest words.
The chill down Athrun's spine was almost painful. What was he doing, not trusting the man whose only goal was to defend PLANT? After the same man ordered him to slaughter his best friend and he did it!
Breathing hard, Athrun slowly moved his Freedom away from Le Creuset.
"The Commander is right, Yzak, let's pull back" he said but, in that moment, all the alarms on his control panel chirped loudly to life.
"How can we ignore this, Commander?" Yzak shouted, his voice raising over the high-pitched sounds.
After the slightest moment of surprise, Athrun shook his head.
"Yzak, go down and try to stop whatever is happening" he commanded. Than he turned towards Le Creuset, while the Justice sprinted away from them.
"What's going on, Commander?" Athrun asked, tense. This time a soft, derisive laughter echoed trough the comm.
"It's too late. He'll die here, like you, like all the rest of these poor, misguided souls."
"What…?"
But he didn't have time to ask for an explanation, as the target warning system of the Freedom flashed, detecting a volley of incoming missiles from Le Creuset's CGUE. They were directed against the Justice.
Athrun easily intercepted all of them, preparing to fight.
He did not understand what was happening, but he was sure: he was not going to let Le Creuset harm Yzak in any way. Not when he was only trying to save his comrades.
Athrun shouted, all the pain and the anger he had felt for days exploding in his mind like multi-coloured fireworks.
The two Mobile Suits clashed, each pilot determined in winning his own interior battle.
Ten years later – Aprilius City
Athrun had always liked to visit the cemetery in the early morning. The air was clean but not chilly, and he enjoyed to walk on the luscious grass, wet with the artificial dew sprinkled on it just before dawn. None else was there, he was alone with all of the people who died to protect PLANT. The thought was somewhat pleasant.
He looked at the three graves placed in front of him, where he had just laid bouquets of flowers. Red for Rusty, like his fiery hair and temperament he remembered so well; orange for Miguel, like the colour he loved the most; and white, pure lilies for Rau Le Creuset, the man he killed with his own hands above JOSH-A.
Among the many deaths he caused, the loss of the blonde Commander was one of those he regretted the most, that was why he had not revealed the real reason behind his death, so that Le Creuset could be honoured with a grave in the resting place of the fallen heroes.
Atrhun still did not know what his Commander was doing inside JOSH-A, and why he had asked them to leave, despite the fact that underground was hidden a Cyclops system that would have blown their forces to oblivion had Yzak not destroyed it just in time.
During their battle he had sensed something weird in Le Creuset, something odd in his words, but still after many years Athrun believed that his babbling about Kira being 'the Ultimate Coordinator' was only due to the strain of the war.
Athrun locked his eyes on the grave.
'He acted all cool and controlled, but he was insane. Congratulating me for killing Kira, shouting me that the loss of that kid would have meant the end of the world as we knew it.'
He raised his head, and in front of him, on top of the hill, he saw the flag of PLANT waving in the mild wind. The same flag that was displayed everywhere in the Solar System. In a sense, Rau Le Creuset was right, and Athrun had greatly contributed in annihilating that old world.
However, he could not fit into this new one, that he found somehow wrong. Especially in the anniversary of Kira's death, an eerie sensation used to slap him, leaving Athrun depressed and inconsolable. It was like trying to recall a painful nightmare from the past, that always eluded him.
'Distorted. This word is twisted and fake.'
Athrun exhaled deeply, feeling someone approaching. He turned around, to see Nicol walking towards him. The young man was wearing his pristine white uniform, but he had a dim look in his eyes.
"I knew you were here…"
"What's wrong?" Athrun could not figure out why Nicol needed him so early.
"You father called me. He want to see us. He's been trying to call you since 5 in the morning, but your phone was switched off."
Athrun couldn't help but to smile grimly, his pitiful lie of the night before slowly eroding.
"Where did you spend the night?" Nicol continued, appearing slightly guilty.
"I needed to stay alone, ok? And you needed to stay with Lacus. That's all."
"We've never wanted you to feel…"
"Alone? Abandoned?" Athrun retorted, not feeling exactly angry, just tired and disappointed. He waved an hand, finally speaking the words he had prepared months before, as soon as he knew about their affair.
"It's ok, Nicol. We both know what's going on between you and Lacus. And… I'm fine with it. Even if I don't love her that way any more, I only wish my Pink Princess the best. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still her legal husband, but I'm content she's happy with you, and you deserve her much more than me." Athrun looked away, moved at the thought he had finally found the strength to put an end to his sorrowful relationship with Lacus. "She told me you two are genetically compatible and I really wish you could have the children I was not able to give her, I know how much she desires to be a mother. I'll talk to my father, I'm sure he won't deny me the permission to divorce from Lacus. All things considered we are no more the icons of the perfect world he created. You are one of his most successful officers, and for sure you are more fitted than me to fill the role."
A frigid smile touched Nicol's lips. "So, in the end of you impressive speech all comes back to your father and how you are persuaded you have failed him."
"It's the pure truth. I fail him everyday of my life just to be alive, while I know he'd preferred to have me dead after the war I won for the sake of his vendetta. So the masses would have adored me as fallen hero, the symbol of all they had to sacrifice. And the memory of my heroic gesture would have lasted forever, and not tainted with this mundane existence." Athrun shook his head. "And I fail Lacus too, for not being the husband she'd have wanted. And I fail you too, for…"
The blue-haired young man turned towards the graves, unable to complete his sentence. It was Nicol who chose to help him.
"For… not being able to forgive me, after so many years?" he said to Athrun, his voice cold, but with an hint of sorrowfulness. "Why can't you, Athrun? Because I've become the man your father wanted you to be? Or because I decided to move on, while you're still indulging in the past?"
Surprised, because he did not expect that stern lecture from his friend, Athrun faced Nicol again, wearing a bitter expression.
"What do you mean?" he asked, harshly, but Nicol seemed unimpressed by his rage. He just shrugged.
"We all made mistakes, Athrun, during the war and after it. I regret them too. But you won't atone for those crimes acting like this, mourning endlessly a past you can't change."
A sour laughter shook Athrun. "And what should I do, so?"
"I'll tell you, but not here" it was Nicol's odd reply. Than he raised his cell phone. "And not now. Your father called us, it's better to go now. It could be important if he summoned you and the Joint Chief of Staff."
Athrun shifted uncomfortably. "So will Yzak be there as well?"
"Sure. And Lunamaria Hakwe. While Dearka is still on Earth, on a secret mission."
"Upon an order of my father?"
"Not exactly. He'll meet someone… someone we'll definitely need to introduce you."
Finally, Nicol's smile untied the knot of poignant recriminations they had thrown at each other. "Take that look off your face and quit grieving like an old lady" he whispered to Athrun. "The tide is turning."
Author's Notes
First of all, thanks so much to all the readers who are following this story. I'm sorry it took me so long to update but since English is not my mother tongue it's quite a bid deal for me to write it :) And sorry for all the mistakes you'll find. Cookies for the brave soul who'd like to be my beta :)
Stice73: I'll definitely continue this, thank you so much for you patience.
Tynuccia: to be perfectly honest I didn't plan Nicol and Lacus to be a couple, but as soon as I dropped the first sentences of this story it suddenly became a good idea. I find comforting the idea that the two that Athrun rejected found solace in each other, and with the death of Kira, the gentle Nicol was the fittest guy for our Pink Princess. I'm glad you agree with me! Yzak and Dearka will show up in the next chapter, as well as Cagalli and... someone else :)