Part Two:
I, Noah Puckerman, have a secret.
I'm not gay, I just like to fuck Finn Hudson. And also Quinn Fabray.
Finn and I have been best friends since we were kids. We didn't understand each other as well until my father walked out on my mother and me, but that was ok, because Finn had been there and he kind of understood.
Maybe it was because we didn't have stable father figures in our lives, but Finn and I, we're a lot closer than just best friends. Our mothers say we're like brothers, but I'm pretty certain brothers aren't supposed to do what we sometimes do in the locker room after football practice, or locked away in one of our rooms on a Saturday afternoon with the stereo blasting.
The first time it happened, we were fourteen and I managed to get my hands on an old copy of Playboy from my creepy Uncle Sal. He thought it'd be beneficial for me to start forming healthy thoughts about naked chicks. I wonder what he'd say if he found out that that magazine led to my first sexual encounter with another boy. That Sunday afternoon we'd locked ourselves away in my room, turned on the TV and the Playstation and let the sounds of the demo fill the room while we checked out this magazine.
We sat huddled together on the floor against the side of my bed, making sure we were well hidden from any prying eyes that might try to break down the door. We'd only flicked through a few pages before I started to feel a certain reaction coming on. Finn was dealing no better with the images either.
From there it was a simple suggestion that we promised not to talk about again. I tried to move the magazine a little out of the way but still in full view of both of us, but I accidently brushed against Finn and one thing led to another and a few minutes later we were sweaty, sticky and sated. That was the first time I touched another guy's dick.
Like I said, I'm not gay, and neither is Finn. We know what we want, it's just that sometimes, when we can't always get what we want, we settle for something that's familiar and safe for us.
When Finn started dating Quinn Fabray, I was a little pissed. I'd wanted Quinn, like actually wanted her, but she chose Finn. We all know Quinn isn't who Finn really wants in the end, but for now, it's ok to live this fairytale and pretend that this is how it's supposed to be. The only reason I let this facade continue is because I'm trying to think of a way to get Finn's object of his affection into the fold. It's going to be a difficult task, but I like challenges.
Quinn and I have teamed up though, because we both love Finn and he's good to us. We're happy in this arrangement, and it has to stay like this because High School can't handle a change on the social ladder. We, Quinn and I, came to an agreement about the situation because she knows Finn doesn't want her as much as he wants someone else. Quinn did mention having feelings for me, when I'm not being an asshole, and I'm holding out hope that one day all will be right in the world of McKinley High and we can be together, whatever that might mean.
After that night at my party, when Quinn Fabray lost her virginity to me, all I've been able to think about is doing it again. Quinn wasn't the first girl I slept with, but I want her to be the only one, at least for as long as she'll have me. I know I'm a Lima Loser but I don't want to be. I'm hoping our side project in nabbing Finn's girl will bring Quinn and me a lot closer together and she'll see that I can be somebody, if she lets me.
I know it sounds like I'm trying to steal Finn's girl, but Finn knows all about my pining away for Quinn. Great, I used the word pining. Moving on, Finn just wants us to be happy. He knows he has to play the role of Quinn's boyfriend, and he says he's fine with the situation, but we're not. I'll never take Quinn completely away from Finn, just like Quinn could never pull me completely away from Finn. We're connected now and we're missing our fourth.
To be honest, I have no idea how we're going to convince Rachel Berry that this is a good idea.