READ AUTHOR'S NOTE FIRST

Author's Note- hey its me and this is the last chapter of this story. I will be continuing I almost had it next then probably taking a break from chaptered stories because of school and dance classes and competitions and whatever else gets in my way but there is a chance of One shots in your near future so I will stop talking and you can read the story

Disclaimer- See other chapter for Disclaimer

ELLIE POV

It was bright and loud which is a change because for the last I don't know days, months, years? It has been dark and silent like a tunnel with no end. I couldn't make out any shapes it was all a blur of light and it sounded like a roaring in my ears, like when your really close to a train as it passes. I was for once in my life scared. I was scared what I would see when I woke up or when this torture ended. I was afraid that I had failed, that I was still alive and that this was just a faze of unconsciousness. I was afraid to go back to the hellhole called earth.

But funny thing is I was afraid to die to. I don't know what I was thinking when I pressed the razor down on my vein. I know I didn't want to live any more but I didn't want to die. I was so messed up and I just hoped that this torture ended soon. And it did.

After a while I began to be able to make out shapes in front of me and words in a certain phrase. That's when I knew I was alive. I had failed again I had failed at murdering myself I was pathetic. Rushes of pain swept over my left arm more in my wrist area than any were else. The pain was intense and I couldn't take it I squeezed my eyelids together and took fast breaths. I was waking up and soon I would have to face everyone or anyone that was there. They would probably sweep me into a Mental Facility so who cares?

With that everything cleared before me and I could see everything. Four off white walls one had a window into which you could use to see into the waiting room surrounded me. There were about seven people there and several I was surprised to see. Emma, Manny, Paige, Spinner, Ashley,nd Sean but were was Marco.

I felt someone move on the side of my bed so I turned my head and saw there was the one and only Marco Delrossi lying there his head twisted in an uncomfortable position tear tracks on his face. Slowly his eyes opened and he stared at me.

" El?" He whispered stroking my hand " Oh Ellie." He said bursting into uncontrollable sobs. " Why El why would you do that. El please tell me." I blinked trying not to cry

" I…I don't know I just… Marco I'm so sorry. Everything kind of just came up on me all of a sudden and I couldn't take it." I cried and noticing for the first time that my arms had been uncovered and that he was staring at my scars.

" Ellie, You…you could have called me Ellie Suicide is not the answer I could have helped." He said pulling the blanket up higher over my arms obviously not wanting to see the graffiti I had made on my skin.

" I just… you were… I just guessed you were with Dylan and I didn't want to bother you." I said scratching at my eyes trying to stop the heavy flow of tears

" You are so much more important than Dylan. If you dyed I don't know what I would do with out you and Ellie there was a point yesterday were the doctors they didn't think you would make it. I couldn't take it El. For the first time in my life I skipped school. I stayed here with you and… and Sean." He whispered the last word I shook my head

" Marco I am so so sorry I don't know what I was thinking." I didn't do well in these situations and the tears were still flowing from my eyes in a stream making my words almost inaudible. He grabbed me in his arms and embraced my tightly I never wanted to let go.

" Marco?"

" Mhmm?"

" There is something else we should tal-"

" Not now rest up I am going to go tell the others your awake." He cut me ff that was a conversation for another day.

I lay there fiddling with the end of my hospital gown. Waiting for Marco as thoughts ran through my head. Thoughts about why I really did do this to myself and thoughts about Sean. That's right Sean Cameron I have just woken up from trying to kill myself and I was thinking about why the hell Sean Cameron was here. He didn't have a right to be here and when the heavy metal hospital door opened I knew it wasn't Marco.

" How long?" I asked in a voice that I didn't even recognize as mine." How log has it been since you've seen me?"

" El…" He started but I didn't let him finish

" No, save it." I said looking up and for the first time in a while his bright blue eyes stared deeply into my bloodshot green ones two colors unknown to the universe just like him and me.

" Sean why did you bring me here. Why did you want to save me? Why didn't you just let me die?" I asked and tears fell from his eyes. Sean Cameron was crying!

" Ellie, I am so sorry I didn't want to hurt you. The truth is I couldn't build up the nerve to call you. I still love you Ellie. And seeing you bleeding on the floor will be an image that will stay with me forever. I'm moving back Ellie we don't have to be away from each other anymore." He stated and I actually considered what he was saying

" Go." I said

" What?"

" Sean I cant do this with you I'll just end up here again or maybe worse net time we cant do this again. I want to I really do I just… cant." He nodded and stepped out the door. I hurt him and I couldn't take it.

" Sean." I called and he turned around slowly.

" We can try if you want but you can't leave me ever again." He smiled and said

" I promise." Before stepping out completely.

I had a good amount of visitors that day but the most surprising was probably the two girls in the world that I didn't expect to see well other than Heather Sinclair.

Emma Nelson and Manny Santos. The came in and apologized, APOLOGIZED!

Telling me that they were sorry and actually looked on the verge of tears it was so weird.

Finally after a eek o being in the hospital I was released and put on suicide watch. Everyone who had come to the hospital had promised to not tell anyone but that didn't make my first day back to Degrassi C.S. any better. People stared at me and whispered things behind my back. My teachers kept shooting me nervous glance and Ms. Sauve called me down to her office three times that day saying that she was just checking on me. I sat with Marco, spinner, Paige, Manny, Craig, Emma and Ashley at lunch (what a group) which was the worst part of my day. I could hear my name come out of every person's mouth at least once. But that was not the bad part I was already used to being talked about good or bad.

I watched as Heather Sinclair made a beeline toward me lunch try in hand and my heart started pounding in my chest. Oh no.

" Queen of Evil coming this way." Emma whispered across the table I think I saw Craig sink a little lower into his chair and Paige tensed up glaring at Heather. She walked right over to us and picked up my tray.

" Ellie I see you're back lovely. But I don't think you should be allowed to have anything sharp." She started taking my utensils off my tray.

" Like forks or knives or even spoons you remember what happened last time when you got to close." My lower lip quivered I wasn't in the comeback mood.

" Hmm nothing to say. Well let's see what's under your sleeve other than you stitches. How many other scars do you have Ellie?" She said laughing throwing my lunch to the side and reaching for my arm I pulled away and ran out of the lunchroom. Teenagers were evil.

I made it through the rest of the week with the help of my friends and boyfriend. Every time I felt like I couldn't take it anymore I would call them and someone would come over to calm me down. It was nice to have people around me that were so supportive. After awhile people stared to forget what I did to myself and I was never the subject of anyone's conversations any more. But everyone that I am close to will always remember that fateful day. I have th scars to prove it.

Every 18 minutes someone dies from a suicide every 43 seconds someone attempts one so if you or someone you know is suicidal call 1-800-784-2433.