Story: Beautifully Broken, Wasteland

Author: Bellakatalina

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Carter/ Blair. It was an ever-growing list: Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale. Serena. Blair Waldorf lost everything that was important to her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl

"Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?

This is a wastleland now."

Slow Hands, Interpol

--

Just like a coin there are two sides to every story. Case in point, Santorini.

Europe had been Serena's escape from past indiscretions. She couldn't face Blair after sleeping with her boyfriend, so for a while she enjoyed everything in excess. Serena had always been a party girl but in Europe where her name wouldn't precede everything she did she really let her hair down.

She buried secrets she wanted no one to know.

Carter was enjoying life jumping from country to country until the thrill of the party was no more. When the alcohol and the women had worn off he would show up at the train station and end up in a different country.

He did not hide his misdeeds, so when Serena sent him the text message he had come on his way to meet her.

"Serena, to what to I owe this honor?" Carter asked as he entered the Bass suite as if he owned it.

"What's going on with you and Blair?" Serena asked with her arms crossed over her chest, as she stayed seated on the couch.

"Skipping the pleasantries I see. I don't blame you and hate the fake smiles and small talk." He said sincerely.

"Your corrupting Blair." Serena said matter-of-factly. Carter let out a small chuckle at this.

"You are her best friend and you think I am corrupting her? She dated Chuck Bass for Christ's sake." He said as he sat down across from her.

"I've changed." She said, but then decided to change her tactic. After all, this was about Blair not about how reformed Serena had become. Serena shook her head in disagreement. "She isn't Blair anymore. Maybe before she would do something wild, but now she just looks so defeated."

"Maybe she is changing, what is so wrong with that? Like you said you changed." Carter said not understanding the point of this discussion.

"You've changed her in a negative way, Carter. When I saw her at the bar she looked so…so broken. She didn't have a plan or a way to make things right anymore. She just didn't care."

"At the bar." Carter reiterated. "She was like that before I got to her, so I am actually trying to be there for her."

It was Serena's turn to laugh. "Like you were there for me in Santorini?" She asked sarcastically.

"People change." Carter said with a smirk.

"But not you. I'll tell her about Santorini." She threatened him meeting his eyes.

Carter didn't break contact. "Go ahead. The only reason I didn't say anything earlier is because I didn't think you wanted your dirty laundry aired."

Serena stood up getting angry. "My dirty laundry?" she asked her voice rising. "That was your idea."

Carter smiled again. "Yes, I agree it was my idea to steal the yacht, but I'm not the one who lifted the anchor. We were in that completely together."

"You were the one who had the drugs." Serena said trying to take away any guilt.

"If I wouldn't have given it to you, you would have gotten it somewhere else. It's not like it was your first time." Carter asked remembering how she had begged for the Ecstasy he had.

"Well, what do you think she will say when I tell Blair you forced me to have sex with you." Serena said in barely a whisper.

Carter's face paled at the words.

"You wouldn't." He challenged.

"For Blair I would." Serena said as she regained her courage.

"I never forced you to do a thing you didn't want to do." Carter said standing to his full height and look down at Serena.

"Maybe not, but how farfetched would it be? All the drugs, the alcohol I could say it was date-rape, and who do you think she would believe."

"That is bullshit and you know it, Serena. You came on to me."

Serena ran her hand through her wild hair as she pieced together her memories of that night. "Yes, what was it you were telling me that night? About how perfect I was. How, I was nothing like the Blair Waldorfs of the world, weren't those your words?" Serena smiled. "And that is true." She added because truthfully saying he had raped her had only been a threat. She would never lie about that to anyone.

"You know that would only hurt her." Carter said quietly.

"If it gets her away from you then it's worth it."

"Serena, why can't you see that I am not causing this? Believe it or not, I want to help her." He said annoyed. "I'll tell her what happened between the two of us if you want. I'll even add how we got caught by the cops and you offered to sleep with them to keep us out of jail."

Serena winced when she remembered in her drunkenness that she had actually suggested that. Luckily, Carter had been wiser and bribed them with money instead.

"I can tell her that I wanted you to stay with me, but you left me without a word in the morning, and that is all we had 24 hours in Santorini."

"That's all I was? Twenty-four hours in Santornini?" Serena asked curious.

"That is all it was, Serena. I don't have any underlying feelings for you. I promise."

"So, how do I know this more than your 24 hours with Blair Waldorf."

For a moment he was silent. It was true he hadn't even had 24 hours with Blair. He wasn't a relationship guy, but when he saw Blair sitting at the bar by herself it reminded him of how he felt. It reminded Carter how their world had made him run away because it breaks everyone. And, he didn't want to see Blair Waldorf broken.

He probably never would have cared for the brown-eyed girl had he not seen her so broken, but when she let her vulnerability show he saw how it had always been there. She had never been this self-assured, confident girl. It had always been an act. But, how could he explain all of his feelings to Serena?

"Because what other option do you have other than to trust me right now?" Carter asked knowing that Serena had hurt her, too. "She probably won't tell anyone except me what she's feeling right now. But, don't take my word for it, go talk to her yourself. You haven't spoken to her since you told her what a horrible person she is, have you?" Carter asked.

For a moment Serena felt ashamed and needed to defend herself again. "I went to the bar, but she didn't want to talk." She replied and Carter nodded his head.

Serena was giving in he could see it. She wanted what was best for her friend.

"Will she ever be the old Blair again?" Serena asked hopefully.

Carter thought about this statement for a moment before replying.

"If she isn't will you still love her?" The words brought tears to her eyes. How dare he say something like that to her!

"Of course I will! She is my sister!" She yelled at him.

Carter nodded his head. "Then the answer doesn't really matter. Just be there for her." With that he looked to the exit ready to leave.

"This doesn't make us friends, Carter." He knew. She still believed he was responsible for their night in Santorini, but he was used to getting the blame he didn't deserve.

--

Chuck gripped the flowers in his hand tightly. He was nervous. The last two times he had spoken to Blair hadn't gone well, but she would listen to him, she had to.

He entered the empty penthouse calling her name, but getting no response.

Chuck walked up the stairs to her room where he could here loud music playing. The door was slightly cracked open and, he pushed father. Chuck smiled when he saw Blair dancing around her room. She was so carefree it was beautiful. His smile faded when he saw in her other hand was a bottle of champagne.

He entered her room without invitation and turned of her stereo. The silence surprised Blair momentarily, she turned around to investigate the cause of the silence and found him.

"Ch-huck!" She said with a hiccough. "What are you doing here?" She asked smiling.

"Haven't I taught you better? Drinking by yourself at this hour?" Chuck chastised.

Blair held out the bottle as if it was an offering, but Chuck turned his nose up.

"Couldn't find a glass?" And with that friendly Blair was gone.

"What do you want Ch-huck." She hiccoughed again.

Chuck sighed in defeat. He was coming to apologize and already he was giving her ammunition to use against him.

"I wanted to talk to you, about us." He said finally as he laid down the flowers on her desk.

Blair walked to where he was standing next to him. She put the bottle next to the flowers and smiled coquettishly.

"About us?" she asked as she breathed his sent in. His spicy cologne could never hide the tint of cigarettes, but she found the sent oddly familiar.

With her so close to him he couldn't think properly. He nodded his head.

Blair pushed herself against him. Her lips were so close to his she could almost taste him.

"I thought there was no us." She said as her eyes locked on his lips. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips and the sight entranced Chuck.

"There could be." He whispered.

"Really? Because I don't think you want me." Blair said as she brought her hand up to run through his hair.

"I do." He said huskily.

Blair dipped her head up and pressed her lips against Chuck's but just as quickly as it happened he pushed her away.

"See?" Blair said as she stepped back. "You always say you want me, but you never seem to mean it."

"Blair- no I-" but he was interrupted.

"I think you should go." Blair said as she demonstrated toward the door.

"I want you Blair, but not like this."

She smiled as if he had just validated her point. "No Chuck, the only time you wanted me was when I was a virgin. Isn't that what you told me, you wanted to be the first to have me? Well, now that I am not this innocent girl you don't want me. I can't be that girl again."

"It's not like that Blair. You know it isn't. Just talk to me, please. Tell me what is going on."

She turned away from him not wanting to look at him anymore. He wouldn't be ignored though. He moved to her and grabbed her hand.

"The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through anything." Chuck reminded her of the words she had used hoping it would trigger her old self.

"You aren't very original, are you?" Blair asked annoyed.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you with Carter?" Chuck asked rebuffing her decline.

Blair laughed loudly now. All of the puzzle pieces had fit perfectly into place.

"You don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me either." She smiled at his twisted logic.

"No, Blair. I don't want him around you because…because I love you."

She looked at him for a moment speechless.

"Well, that's too bad because love doesn't give you anything. It destroys you. It takes everything away from you. I would know." She finished softly.

"Please, just leave me alone, Chuck." She asked defeated.

For once Chuck was at a loss for words. He took one last look at Blair who would meet his eyes and left.

Blair looked at the flowers on her desk and quickly grabbed them throwing it into the trash.

Chuck Bass would not be a part of New Blair's life.

--

Reviews/ Feedback? I'm curious to see who everyone wants Blair to end up with?

Up next- Blair and Serena time and some Blair/Carter since there wasn't any in this scene!

Also, I usually try to reply to all reviews but I have not done that this entire story. I apologize so I promise to start again. Thank you for those who have reviewed it's really what keeps me writing!

Oedipa's Rainbow- Thanks, I know it has mainly been just Carter/ Blair, but I will be including more of the characters throughout the fic.

Desi- Hope you like this take on Santorini, I felt like Carter gets blamed for everything, but that was also when Wild Serena was around so I feel she played an equal role in it.

Stardazedlover- thanks for the postive reviews!

Chairforever- Carter is interested in Blair, but he also has never had a real relationship so that will be playing into the story. Along with New Blair not wanting a relationship.

Mystipedskirt- thanks for the feedback. Carter is going to be helping her let her hair down for a while.

Xxktnxx- Thank you for the kind words!