Oogesa ni "Aishiteru"
A/N: The title of the story means, "Let Me Brag and Say 'I love You'" which is a song by Angela Aki. Oh, and happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it! :D
I was the rebound. His rebound. He would go out drinking and just fuck whomever. And after he'd disappear for a month or so, he'd come back to our—no my—house drunk out of his mind. He'd declare his undying affection to me, say I was the only who understood him, who could make him feel good. Of course, in the morning, when he'd sober up, he wouldn't remember any of it, just that he'd come home. And being the perfect…lover—was that the right word to describe us? —I wouldn't mention what he had said or ask where he'd been. If I did, he wouldn't return anymore. And I couldn't risk that because I loved him.
Heh, how cliched right? I'm in love with someone who doesn't and will never feel the same. The forbidden fruit, we all want what we can't have. But now, I have to wonder if it's worth it anymore…
One morning, after one of his reappearances, I woke up to an empty bed. I thought it strange because he usually stuck around for a week before venturing off again. I walked down the stairs and saw him sitting on the couch in the living room. When he saw me, he patted the space beside him and grinned at me.
I walked over and sat down next to him. As soon as I did, he embraced me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. "Stop!" I said pushing him off.
"What?" He asked, a hint of humor shadowing his voice. "What's your problem, Ryou?"
"My problem? You're my problem!" I pointed a finger to emphasize my accusation. I was tired of this. He only used me to fuck and that's all I was to him: An easy fuck. And I was tired of it.
"Stop acting like some goddamn, lovesick school girl. It doesn't fit you." He warned, pulling out a cigarette.
"Fit me? How would you know what fits me, Bakura? You're never here!" I cried, throwing my hands up in the air.
"Oh, stop whining." He was rolling the cigarette between his middle and index finger. Then he stopped and lit it.
"You know I don't like you doing that in the house."
"Like I give a damn." He replied, blowing smoke in my face. We sat in silence and I was struck with a thought. I needed to know the answer because, I needed to know if this was worth it anymore.
"Do you…do you love me?" I asked while looking at my hands.
"What the hell, Ryou? Where did that come from?"
"Well do you?" I demanded growing braver.
"I don't know. Don't tell me you've fallen in love with me. You'll only get your heart broken." He puffed out more smoke and blew it in my face again.
"Yeah, of course." I whispered tears running down my face.
I was sitting in a café talking with Yugi. "So you broke up with him?" He asked, blowing the steam away from his latte.
"It wasn't really a relationship." I said quietly.
"Okay…well, if it was, this would be the equivalent of breaking up with him?"
"Yeah I guess." I laughed softly then. "Though I suppose it's more like completely cutting him off." I had moved, changed my numbers, and even got a new job. It was almost impossible for him to find me.
"What happened?"
"I was stupid enough to ask him if he loved me." I laughed again.
"And he said no?" Yugi guessed and I nodded. "Do you think he'll come looking for you?"
"He has a million fuck buddies, I don't think he will - especially if he doesn't love me." I replied, taking a sip of my English tea.
"Do you want him to?" Yugi asked, looking me straight in the eyes.
"Of course." I smiled sadly.
For two years I lived alone. I'd go on dates occasionally but they were all the same as Bakura, just looking for an easy fuck. None of them meant anything. I was only trying to look for someone to ease my pain.
After one of these dates I walked into my house and he was there, in my kitchen, waiting. The lights were off and he was staring at the entryway of the kitchen. I felt a surge of panic run through my veins and I deliberated whether or not to make my presence known. I didn't think for very long because Bakura looked over at me. As soon as he saw me, he calmly walked over to me and started intently at my face. "Ryou, why did you run away?" He asked 'nicely' but his undertone demanded an answer.
"I didn't run away." I responded trying to appear brave in front of him.
"Then what do you call what you did?" He asked, getting closer.
"Protecting myself." My brave façade quickly wore off when he stood in front of me.
"From what?"
"From, uh, from - " I stuttered shrinking away from him.
"From getting your heart broken?" He guessed, grinning when I made no move to correct him. He stayed silent for a moment, "Turn on the light." He commanded, "I want to see your face."
"Why? You don't need to look at my face when you're fucking me." I said snippily, but complied anyway. When the light flooded the kitchen he stared at my face.
"You know…I think I might love you." He declared.
"What…It took you two years to realize you love me?" I asked incredulously.
"No, no. It took me two years to realize I might love you." He corrected seriously.
"Oh my God." I said, tears beginning to cascade down my face.
"Oh don't cry Ryou." He snapped.
I sniffled and nodded, wiping my tears away. "Erm…you can stay here for awhile if you'd like." I must've still looked miserable because he rolled his eyes.
"Not if you're going to be sad about it."
"I'm not going to be sad." I said quietly.
"Good." He grinned and kissed me chastely on the lips.
I sat in the same café, across the same person, drinking the same thing as two years before. "So you got back together?" Yugi asked.
"We weren't really together before, but yes, I am with him now." I replied, smiling over my mug of tea.
"Why?"
"Because he might love me." I replied grinning happily because, even though it wasn't what I wanted, for now it was enough.
A/N: This was written at the request of TheRandomsQueen. I got the inspiration from a story called DraDraDramatics by kazoua on FictionPress. Junjou Egoist inspired another part. Uh, I tried to make this as uncliched as possible but I'm not sure how well I did at that. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this.