New fanfiction because I felt the need to write it down. o.o;
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kishimoto's characters~!!
PAIRINGS: MadaXIta, ItaXSasu/SasuXIta, hints of FugaXIta. May be others on the way...
WARNINGS: Hey, this is got graphic yaoi and some abnormal violence/torture in it. If you don't like any of this, please refrain from reading further. Thank you and have a nice day. ;D
Chapter One: Conditions
Why?
Oh, the sorrowful look when I was asked that question by my own otouto so long ago... The pitiful look that sent jolts of guilt, of something strong piercing into my heart like a razor sharp spear; tearing my soul and scattering them like the shards of a broken mirror.
What am I? I've often wondered this as I sat alone in the dark shadows of my room, listening to the world moving around me. Was a simply the figure of fear that wandered the darkened hallways of a building? The evil shadow of Satan that plagued the streets in the very depths of night?
It was hard to tell at the time. However, when I received that look for the second time in my long, worthless existence, I realized...
I was the new Satan.
xxx
The date was June 9th, eighteen years before the present time. Back then, I was still shunned by my own family, but I was given permission to witness the birth of a new arrival in the clan.
Oh, the beauty that entered the world within those few hours in the hospital. I had caught only a glimpse before the small bundle of new life was handed back to his sweet, caring mother.
Itachi Uchiha. His mother had whispered the name over and over again as she placed gentle, motherly kisses on her baby's small frame. I finally got to look closer at him from the crowd that surrounded poor Mikoto.
The baby's eyes opened and I was stunned into silence. Those deep, obsidian eyes stared at me, right at me. I couldn't tell what the feeling was as he stared at me. Everyone cooed and poked him, praising the mother for a job well done.
He seemed to be ignoring everything. How strange! He didn't make a sound either. He simply stared in silence with beautiful, round and curious eyes...
So full of new life. To say it pained, me, however, was an understatement.
Agony electrified my body to be stared at something so beautiful. As Fugaku, my cousin and the baby's father, had once told me...
You are a walking sin, Madara. Your very existence is a danger to the planet and its inhabitants. Anything pure in your path is charred, like the flames of Hell catching flame to heaven's great clouds.
Of course, that was the beginning of my wonders... Why? Izuna had asked me that same thing... Why was I so cruel? I didn't mean to... It was simply who I was.
However, the purity of the child wrapped in the bundle of warmth at his mother's bosom, did not char. It did not burn. It did not scream.
It stared in silence. As if my impure existence had become some sort of obstacle.
I had to get out. The air was becoming suffocating and hot. I could feel sweat forming on my forehead. I whirled around and pushed past the hordes of family members that were eager to meet with the newborn and his mother.
I made it into the lobby, looking down at the floor as if it were the cause of all my misfortune.
"Did you see the child?" A voice asked. I jumped, startled. I looked up to find with evident surprise that an old friend had come to the hospital as well.
"I saw him..." I mumbled to the taller male. Hashirama was his name. He was one of the many people who had caused me so many troubles in the past.
Another pure man, burnt by my very life.
"He was small. The doctors claim he was close to death when he emerged... You didn't have anything to do with it, did you?" Hashirama asked, the deep baritone in his voice rumbling with accusation.
I glared at him with red, unforgiving eyes.
"No. I don't need your false accusations. I'm leaving."
"Without congratulating the mother?"
"There's nothing to congratulate." I retorted, then turned on him and left. When I exited the hospital, the sky was a very bright blue. The clouds were whispy and faded, the sun moving to set soon.
Even in the heat of the summer, I was still wearing a black raincoat. I didn't like coming out during the day, which is why I was so hesitant to come to Itachi's birth. I swept down the street toward my apartment in the 'good' side of town, where all the rich families lived.
I couldn't really tell why I was rich... I had two jobs to keep myself from going home to the uncomfortable darkness. A pediatrician at a separate hospital across the city and a professor in the same medical field. Both jobs wore me out, but as long as they kept me busy, I was fine...
xxx
Years later, I found myself sitting in my office, checking the information on a recent patient. She was a fourteen-year-old suffering from depression and she also had picked up on pneumonia somehow. I was making a report when I had my nurse, Konan, approach me.
"Dr. Uchiha, we have a new patient coming in for a check up." She said, handing me another clipboard. I sighed, then flipped the page over to read the patient's name.
My eyes landed on the name and my heart leapt into my throat. I think Konan saw my alarm as well for she placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, snapping me out of my stupor.
"If you want, I can send him to Pein-"
"No... No, that's fine. I can work this out... I haven't seen him since he was born anyway." I answered smoothly and rose to my feet. Konan gave me a worried look.
"Don't pressure yourself."
"You're such a simpleton. Leave me alone and help Pein." I replied sharply. Konan merely sighed and departed down the hallway. I tucked my clipboard under my arm and headed to the waiting room, where Hidan was sitting at the desk. His feet were propped up on the desk, his headphones in.
He was so irresponsible.
I smacked his feet off the desk, glaring at him. He pulled out his headphones and glared back.
"Hey! That was fucking not cool, Madara!"
"I told you to keep focused. Because of your slacking off, I had to do the last report. Now, after these next two patients, you will be doing the report. Clear?" I demanded in a harsh tone. Hidan met my eyes for a moment before looking away with a stubborn pout.
"Yes, sir..." He muttered. I frowned, then headed out the door to the waiting area. I looked down at my clipboard.
"Itachi Uchiha." I announced and glanced up. A teenager stood up, his mother jumping up with him.
"I can go alone, mother... Don't worry." He assured his mother with a frown. Mikoto, as young as ever, looked at him, then at me. She recognized me. I knew she did by that piercing look that I received from everyone who knew me, or would know me.
I turned my head away as Itachi came forward, following me to the scale in the hallway.
"I'll need to check your weight and height, so please stand on the scale there. Take your shoes off." I added, watching him closely. His long, silky black hair -so black, it was like the wings of a raven- was tied back in a loose ponytail. His eyes were lazy and oh so beautiful, almost as dark as his hair, with a faint hint of bluish tint...
So onyx and sparkling. And yet, there was something unfamiliar in his eyes. It attracted me. However, I watched as he stepped onto the scale bare footed. I watched the number slightly tip as I toyed with the little magnet.
"118 pounds... A bit below average, I suppose... But not too far. Now step under here..." I gestured to the measuring stick that was glued to the wall. He obeyed silently and I pulled the little notch down so it touched his head.
My fingers brushed his hair and I was almost shocked into silence.
So soft! I had almost suspected his hair to be thick and coarse... Maybe that was only certain children his age. Ah well...
"Five two... Very good. Follow me." I didn't wait for him to put his sneakers back on. He merely scooped them up and padded after me without a sound. We walked into the room and he went and sat on the bed. I closed the door and turned to him as I checked my clipboard.
As I scribbled something down, I noted that he was staring at me. He's a curious little one...
"Do I know you?" Itachi asked suddenly. I looked up, surprised. His voice was mature, a little deeper than the alto tone, but not quite as deep as say... Hashirama's voice.
"I don't know. That's for you to know." I answered. Itachi frowned.
"Your name is Uchiha."
"Yes."
"Are you related to me?"
"Possibly. There are lot of Uchiha in this city," I answered as I stood up and got a small reflex hammer, "I'm going to test your reflexes and I want you to loosen up your legs." I tapped his knee. His foot moved on instinct, bumping into my leg. I smirked.
"Sorry." Itachi muttered, eyeing my hands as if he was expecting me to jam the sterile tool into his leg.
"Don't be. It just shows you have good reflexes." I answered, then tapped his other knee. I got the same results. I walked back across the room to put the tool away. I picked up my stethoscope from the counter, completely forgetting to hang it around my neck.
What the Hell is wrong with me?
"I'll need you to take your shirt off so I can-"
"Do I have to?" Itachi interrupted. I blinked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, yes. I need to check your heart rate and lungs."
"... I see..." Itachi mumbled, then lifted up his shirt. I eyed him closely, suspicious as to why he asked. Hasn't he been to the doctors before? It was a stupid question that he asked.
Do I have to? And in such an innocent voice...
Itachi set his shirt beside him, folded up neatly. He looked pretty good to me; I don't understand why he didn't want to take off his shirt... His skin looked as flawless and perfect as a porcelain doll's. Perfectly shaped, still maturing, but still perfect...
So smooth. I was eager to touch it.
God, I was such a pervert that I was beginning to get disgusted with myself. I let him lean forward, then took quick note to something... There was something on his back that stood out so well against his soft skin.
It looked like a scratch. Fresh. Probably made last night or even this morning. It looked like a fingernail scratch... It was suspicious, but I acted like I didn't see it and placed the cold round end of the stethoscope on his back.
He jolted a bit, but went still. I listened to his heart closely, wanting to remember it forever.
Thu-Thump... Thu-Thump... Thu... Thu-Thump. I was caught a little off guard by the strange middle sound. I moved the metal circle onto Itachi's upper shoulder blade, listening.
Thu-Thump... Thu-Thump... Thu... Thu-Thump. That wasn't right... He was skipping.
"Itachi, take a deep breathe." I commanded. He did so. I listened.
Thu-Thump... Thu-Thump... Thu- Itachi coughed. I glanced at him, then pulled back.
"I'm going to check your chest... I'll need you to breathe deeply for me, okay?" I asked. He nodded obediently. I placed the metal piece on his chest and he still didn't seem to like how cold it was.
I placed it just above his heart.
Thu-Thump... Thu-Thump... Thu-Thump... Hmm... That's still suspicious. I checked the other places and got a normal heartbeat. I pulled the plugs from my ears and let the stethoscope hang around my neck. I got a small wooden stick, the one that looks so very much like a Popsicle stick.
I opened his mouth and peered down his throat. Hm... Nothing there. I threw it away, then wrote a few things on my clipboard.
"Itachi, do you have any shortness of breath?" I asked as he pulled his black t-shirt back on. He seemed to be debating whether to answer 'yes' or 'no'.
"... Sometimes." He answered at last. I nodded and scribbled it down.
"What grade are you in?"
"Ninth."
"Did you skip a grade?"
"Yes."
"What are your grades?"
"A's."
"Hm... An A student. That's rare nowadays." I muttered. Itachi gave me a curious look, then turned his head to the door.
"Itachi, you have a brother right?"
"Yes."
"Ah, yes," I said noting the information on the clipboard, "He's coming in next..."
"Hn..."
"How do you and your brother get along?"
"Fine..."
"Just 'fine'?" I asked curiously. Itachi shrugged and leaned against the wall behind the bed.
"I care about my otouto... He's reckless and I get uneasy when he gets into trouble."
"I see, so he's a bit of a troublemaker?"
"Yea..."
"How do you get along with your mother?"
"... It's a mutual relationship."
"I see... And your father?" I asked slowly. Itachi's eyes flickered with an unknown emotion... Possibly disgust? At his father or me?
"... I can't answer that." He said at last. I was curious now. I sat up, tapping my pencil on the clipboard.
"Why not?"
"Because. I don't want you to write it down."
"And if I said I didn't?"
"I know you will."
"How about this? I'll just toss this out." I dropped my clipboard in the garbage can beside me, then looked at Itachi daringly. He stared back at me, then lowered his eyes.
"I hate him."
"Why don't you explain that to me."
"... He's not very honest, nor is he very caring... He's neglectful to Sasuke and that makes me upset."
"Why?" There was Sasuke's name again. It was evident that Itachi cared very much about his little brother... Amusing... That's such a rarity...
"Sasuke seems to crave our father's attention," Itachi's voice had taken on a bitter tone and it was very interesting, "He's always trying to get our father to look at him. His grades are almost as good as mind; he's even skipped a grade as well... But no matter what Sasuke does, our father won't acknowledge him. He's always tailing me instead and I think that stresses Sasuke very much. I don't like it when Sasuke's stressed."
"I see... It's probably because you're the eldest."
"How would you know?" Itachi asked. I smiled innocently at him, although, I had a hunch that he could tell it was far from.
"I had a younger brother as well... He and I were always arguing, however. We fought for the attention of our father, since our mother had died when we were very young..."
"And who won?" Itachi questioned. I frowned at him.
"What?" I asked.
"Who ultimately gained your father's attention?" Itachi asked.
"... Dead people don't get that much attention." I answered as I stood up. Itachi's eyes widened and he opened his mouth, but I sighed.
"Our time is up. I suggest you tell your mother that I would like to see you again. Your heartbeat is abnormal. Have a good evening, Itachi." I said, opening the door. Itachi frowned, but followed me after putting on his shoes.
I was definitely in for a surprise because I called Sasuke in, he ran eagerly to meet me.
"If I'm good, does this mean I get a sucker?" Sasuke asked excitedly, looking at me with bright eyes. I smiled.
He was like the exact opposite of his brother...
I took Sasuke's measurements and did the same procedure that I did with Itachi. He only laughed when the cold of the stethoscope touched him. He really was different. No wonder why Itachi liked him. Opposites attract, I suppose.
"Sasuke, how do you feel about your mother?" I asked. Sasuke kicked his legs back and forth, poking his lower lip thoughtfully. It was so cute.
"I love my mom. She's really nice and cooks really good!" He exclaimed. I smiled, writing that down on a new clipboard.
"And your father?" I asked. Sasuke looked a little nervous at this part.
"Erm... I dunno... He's... He's okay and I still love my dad, but... He doesn't seem to notice me as much as he notices my aniki..."
"Do you find this unfair?"
"Kind of... But! My mom told me that my dad talks about me all the time when they're alone! She says he's just trying to make a good impression on people! So, I know my dad loves me as much as he loves my aniki!"
"That's good to be so optimistic."
"What's that mean?"
"To look on the bright side of things. This world can be pretty dreary and it's always good to have a good attitude."
"Ohhh! Okay!"
"So, Sasuke... Tell me, what do you think about Itachi?" I asked. Sasuke blushed a little, looking down at his feet.
"I love my aniki a lot. I think I love him a little more than my mom and dad..."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Like, there was this one time when I had a really bad nightmare and aniki let me sleep with him in his bed. He told me not to tell anyone, but then he went and told me that you have to tell doctors everything so they can help."
"Why did he tell you not to tell anyone?"
"Because. He says people will get the wrong impession or whatever."
"Impression?"
"Yea! Impression. He said people will look at us funny, so I promised I wouldn't tell no one."
"I see... Sasuke, how much do you love your aniki?" I asked slowly. Sasuke blinked, then blushed again.
Damn, he's really cute when he does that...
"I love my aniki very, very much. I can't even explain how much I love my aniki... He's always nice to me and he always tells me to try harder. He helps me a lot and he protects me, even though I tell him not to do that... I can take care of myself!"
"Haha, you're confident. I like that, Sasuke... Well, you're a perfectly healthy child. I hope you have a nice evening."
"You too!"
After work that day, I ended around ten in the evening, I went home feeling depressed. God, even children now days were happy in such a horrible world...
However, Itachi's condition still worried me. His heart rate wasn't normal and he sounded like he has trouble breathing sometimes... It could be a sign of pneumonia... Or something worse. I didn't want to think of what would happen if Sasuke lost his older brother.
That boy would be so broken hearted... I cringed as I poured myself a tall glass of expensive imported Italian wine.
I would know how that feels... My otouto perished and it still leaves me feeling empty inside. However, Izuna was in his late teens when he passed...
Sasuke's only eight-years-old. To lose his older brother and such a young, innocent age? It'd be horrible...
I'd have to put forth my effort into helping Itachi get healthy again...
A/N: Here's another fanfiction! :D Sorry about starting another one and leaving others unfinished, but I suddenly got the idea for this last night in a dream. It's still on the way to developing a main plot, so I think it's turning out okay so far. Tell me what you think in a review, please! ^^