...But I shall tell you the truth, in simple words. You might not understand it, because you didn't have the fortune (or maybe misfortune) to see it with your own eyes.

I trust your intelligence, always have. That you believed my lies doesn't mean you are a fool. It means that I lied too well, so well that it became truth for you. Maybe you never wanted to open your eyes to reality, and I understand it. There are some things that I didn't want to know, but my curiosity and my unstoppable search for knowledge led me to know things I'd rather forget. But I can't. That's my personal hell and heaven: The Truth.

I won't go philosophical about this (at least not right now).

I don't want to burden you with mere speculations of a human being... no matter how much I know I'm still nothing but that: a human being who's about to die.

Before starting... I know what will happen at my funeral, after all I know Jack Napier, how he behaves, I know my own son, I know you and Harley.

Take a pen and start marking if I'm correct.

So... I bet I'll be lying in a coffin, for some reason you'll make it red, and Joseph will make some speech about me being a good mother, or something like that.

Jay will laugh at it.

You'll get upset, and you'll point at him with a gun (seriously... how many times has that has happened? I lost count).

Then... he'll see this notepad and will make a bet with you, being smug and sarcastic. I want to stop here. He'll tell you that will either try to kill him, kill yourself, kill Joseph, make a massive destruction weapon and to make Gotham disappear, probably Buenos Aires or maybe London.

That's all the possibilities that he will most likely say. But I think it will be something like " if you don't kill yourself you get to kill me"

Okay. We made bets all our lives... from the very moment we started calling ourselves The Joker and Queen of Hearts. I won some... lost others... but it seemed every time I won a bet it backfired.

We say that we don't plan, you know that we actually do plan some things. And from the first moment I got cancer I've been planning this.

Neither of you will win the bet. I will win this one, and it won't backfire. But if you want... you'll win it along with me. Both you and Joseph... you're my family, not them.

The one wanting to kill himself will be him. He thinks you'll go suicidal because he thinks he knows everything... and he doesn't. It's right, I didn't love you as a wife... you were manipulated, but I didn't lie when I said that you're the best friend a person like could ever have.

It took me years to accept it. I'm still surprised that I actually can feel that way for someone, you know I'm a cold person. Sometimes I did feel confused about it, thinking that I lied so much to you that I ended up believing it myself... but no, I don't have the ability to love someone that way, not anymore. My life would have been easier if at some point I could love you back as much as you love me. I would have certainly been happier.

I find it sad. All this power, so much money and such a miserable life. I've come to realize that puppets, simple puppets like you and Harley can achieve happiness, while we, the so-called puppeteers, are doomed to be alone. We can look at each other, me and the other master puppeteer, we can laugh together and act as if we were happy. We're good actors, everybody seems to believe us. We're just shadows of what we used to be.

I think both of us sold the possibility of happiness for power, money and some puppets to play and have some empty fun with.

And we made such a bad deal.

I don't know what Jack would say about it. Probably deny it. But he's not facing death, he knows he's getting old, but that's all. I know for sure I'm going to die, because I'll ask you to kill me...

-Hi Jon.

- Hearts, don't make me do it... please.

- I asked you once to kill me because I was suffering do you remember?

- Yes... but do you remember how stupid the situation was? This is just as stupid... there must be a way... something we can do about this.

- Jonathan, look at me. I'm old, I have cancer. Last time I asked you to did this, you could save me from myself. Back then my suffering was different, I thought that you rejected me and I... I didn't want to live without you. I couldn't even see you sitting there in your lab and not to want to at least hug you. I needed you so much... I still need you. But we could solve that problem. Well, you solved it. But this is different, there's no way out.

- My Queen, please don't make me kill you... you promised not to leave me alone. Do you remember that? You said... that you would never put me in this situation again.

- Jonathan, I don't want to suffer anymore... don't you see I'm dying slowly, painfully? Just do it... I promise I won't leave you alone. I'll be around, somewhere... listen. I gave Joseph something. I wrote something for you, and at first you'll hate me, you'll really hate me, but you'll find the way of... I'm sorry Jon, I never wanted this to go this way...!

- There's no way I'll hate you, Hearts.. I can't hate you...

- After reading that you will, and I'm such a coward, I don't even have the guts to tell you face to face!

- Whatever it is, I won't hate you... but I think this time you're right. You don't deserve suffering so much.

- Okay... just.... would you hug me before? And shoot me in the heart, not the head.

- Fine... I love you. It's been thirty years and I still love you... what am I supposed to do after...?

- Just promise me you won't suicide. I don't want to leave our company to Jay and Harley. They don't deserve it. You and Joseph do... no matter what, don't you dare kill yourself.

- You're asking too much, I'm already an old man. I don't even serve any purpose anymore.

- Don't dare say that again, Crane! You may be old but you're still the most intelligent man around, and you helped me to build this organization. Never say you're useless! Never!

- What am I supposed to do... I don't even care about the company anymore... and it's not like we can hold the company without you.

- Please, you're talking bullshit. I'm a hacker. That's all I am. Not big deal, my son knows how to follow my steps and if you don't hold them but paranoia and love, you hold them by fear, and you know how to do that. I'm a nobody!

- Hearts.. calm down... okay I don't want you to get angry and let you... die that way...

- I'm sorry, just... an outburst. Here, lie down with me... Jonathan... you're not only my husband, you're my best friend... the best friend a monster like me can ever have.

- Are... you ready?

- A goodbye kiss?

He had hugged her while killing her. He placed his son's gun to her heart, and kissed her softly. She closed her eyes and then whispered to him "do it".

He pressed the trigger, she shot her eyes open. It still haunted him... the last time he saw his wife's eyes opened. In just a moment, in a second, it seemed she was surprised of him actually doing it, actually killing her. Less than a second...then her eyes closed, and as a limp doll, her head fell back. He just hugged her corpse, pulling her head to his chest, rocking back and forth... somehow asking her forgiveness. From her wound blood emanated tainting both her clothes and his. He was there some minutes... trying to believe that nothing had actually happened... then her skin felt so cold against his.

He just had to accept it. She was gone... and she wasn't going to be back.

His wife was dead.

...Even sadder that I realize this after it's too late, after I can do nothing but wait until I finish writing the truth in this simple notepad. A truth you certainly deserve. You're a good man and a wonderful husband, and even a better friend.

Sometimes I think I would have lived happier as Alicia. Maybe, just maybe, I could have met you as Alicia and we could have been a real couple, not the fabrication I made.

You know... once I met you as Alicia. You were in a courthouse, and without knowing about it, you did me a huge favor. I was compelled to talk to you, to go and thank you for the favor... but I thought "normal" people wouldn't call that a favor.

I was wearing a black dress that day, if my memory doesn't fail... and I actually thought you looked handsome, the kind of man I would date. Isn't it funny how life is?

There must be a world in which I talked to you... and we ended up together, in some twisted way... because my life has been nothing but twisted.

If I ever loved you, I think it was that day in the courthouse.

-… this young man suffers of cocaine addiction, jail wouldn't be the proper place for him. I recommend rehabilitation, given his conditions and emotional instability with suicidal ideation. It would be helpful for him to spend the weekends with his family. He participated in the robbery and murder of both Juan and Maria Julia Narvaez under the influence of drugs and his peers' manipulation. He stated he killed them because he was told to do so, and because he was scared of the upcoming punishment of the rest of the gang. He did it as initiation ritual, and again, under the influence of drugs. With proper rehabilitation and therapy hopefully he would be a productive member of society.

There's a young girl in the court, wearing a black, simple dress. Her face is expressionless during the complete trial. Once he ends his speech, she lowers her head with apparent sadness. He doesn't pay much attention to her. She's not beautiful, just a plain Jane, light brown hair pulled in a ponytail, short and skinny. She doesn't seem to be an interesting person.

Until she raises her face.

She looks at him, a small smirk on her mouth. Then she hung her face down again, covering part of it with her right hand, apparently sad, but the smirk is still there.

And there it stays during the whole trial. At times... it seems she is sobbing silently... but he knew better. She was trying not to laugh.

The trial follows its course, the whole time the girl seems to be "sobbing". Nobody really pays attention.

He finds it curious... and for some reason terrifying.

-... the verdict is guilty of robbery and double murder. Under the special circumstances of being a 14 year old, therefore underage, and taking consideration of Dr. Crane's psychiatric evaluation, Mr. Matthews will go to rehabilitation, with the possibility of...

The girl puts her face in both hands, "sobbing" harder... She is up to something. He can almost feel it.

- Is there any member of the Narvaez family in the room?

The girl stands up, cleaning her tears with the sleeve of her dress, taking a deep breath. Her face looks sad, grieving.

Either she had strange nervous tics that made her laugh during a serious moment... or she was a talented actress.

-Yes. Me. I'm their daughter. I'm sad for what's happened to my parents, however I do agree with the verdict. It's just a poor boy who didn't have all the possibilities I had in life. Everybody deserves a second chance in life... and as you stated, he's just fourteen years old. Just a kid. I hope he can go back to the path of God and be able to have a new life, as a productive member of society. Thank you, that's all I have to say.

-Very well, Miss Narvaez.

Her words seem sincere, her tears seem real...but there is something amiss in her tone. Something malicious, almost imperceptible.

He walks out of the courthouse after talking to the judge briefly. The young girl is in the exit, smoking a cigarette, her face smug and satisfied.

She glances at him, almost piercing him with her brown eyes, a malicious grin starting to appear in her face.

And she starts walking to him.

He fastens his steps, just nodding courtly at the weird girl before she could reach him.

Alicia J. Narvaez. That was the girl's name. He remembers reading the file, she's 21 one years old... but she looks more like a thirteen years old.

He never bothered thinking about it... nor remembering the face of the strange woman.

Not until today.

His future wife... her parents killed in a simple robbery and her brother nowhere to be seen.

Was it all a lie?

A huge favor indeed. Thank you so much for that, Jon....

Two months later, Steven Matthews disappears after one of his usual weekends out of Arkham. He was nowhere to be seen afterwards, and it was supposed he simply escaped. His parents just said he left to meet a girl he had been text-messaging, and never came back.

You made my first murder easier, so sweet and a cherished memory. Mathew Stevenson (or whatever was his name) is right now sleeping with the fish. And he's been there for forty years.

I got his phone number, and started to talk to him, telling him I was a 15 year old girl, and that I got his number from one of his friends. Of course, I got myself a different phone, and played the part. He believed it, and even told me about the murder, saying that he didn't mean to do it, that he was in rehab.

I just pretended to be a friend, and then after a while, I asked to meet.

Well... I did look like a 15 year old, and it was rather easy for him to want to go to my "parents' apartment", saying I was all alone, my parents having left for vacations. Then I just shot him and cut him in several pieces, first his limps, then his head. I put them in different garbage bags and cleaned the scene carefully. As you might know, I've been always too short and skinny, without much brute force. So, for everyone to see, I was just taking the garbage out. Nobody really asks nothing in Gotham, being such a corrupt city. I just drove to the river and dumped the pieces there, putting stones in the bags that contained his limps, his torso, and his head. That way, as you might know, the pieces would never start to float to the surface. To be the first time, I think I did well, although my satisfaction wasn't fulfilled, I wanted him to suffer more... but I wasn't that creative nor skilled back then.

As years went by, I became more skillful and graceful in torture methods, although I still used some of the old books.

I think my satisfaction would be complete if I would have put spoons in the deal... but I wasn't that artistic. Years would go by before I thought of the multiple uses of a simple spoon.

I've always wanted to thank you for that, but if I did so, I would blow up my alibi.

Every time I kiss you I remember that you were the one helping me. I shot him, I tore him apart and dumped him into the river, but you were the one setting the stage for it.

You set me free... even without Jack I would have ended up being what I am for that small action.

My best friend... a shame I never could love you back. How much I wish I could just forget.... and simply love you.

I envy you. You have the ability to feel. I still hug you, even if I'm here, dying and I know that if I whisper that I love you, if I just look at your eyes and barely brush my lips against yours you're happy. Just a moment, an instant. Then you realize soon I'll be gone, and you're sad again. But in that instant I look at your eyes... you let me know that happiness is possible. Just not for me. I just feed on what's left of your happiness, like a parasite.

Happiness, love...they were denied to me.

So, as you're the only person besides my own son I have any kind of feeling for, you're my King to this Queen, you deserve everything...

I don't want you to kill yourself. Don't let him win, he'll tell you things that would make you want to do it, but don't give up.

Remember: He's just my partner in crime, and I'm not referring to illegal business. I'm referring to the person with whom I built my own miserable life, both for me and him. We built our own prison with lies, locked ourselves in it and threw the keys away. It's been a long time since I last loved him.

I'll leave you proof in my computer to win the bet. I trust your intelligence on how to use it...and you're more intelligent than him. You will outsmart him...hopefully you'll get everything. He'll kill himself, after him Harley will kill herself and the only ones standing at the end of the game... will be you and Joseph.

I've always wanted my "dear brother" to eat his own words, and don't get me started with Harley. I have more than one reason to kill that bitch.

Well... now I will tell you exactly what happened to me and Jack. The real story, not the crappy soap opera I came up one night out of fear of getting killed.

Before starting to read, I would advise for you to please get my old computer, from year 2008. I have it under the bed I'm lying on right now.

Thinking about it… I do love you. Even if it was a lie, Jon, you're the best husband any woman could dream of.

My Real Name: Alicia Jeannie Napier, Maiden name Narvaez.

Jonathan looks at the notepad, the black ink in it and his hands start to tremble. Maiden name? She... was married...?

Didn't take a genius…it was all a lie. Her dear brother, so bounded, so close, was her husband…

So twisted, dark…horrible.

He lived and was fed lies for more than 30 years…

What did he do to deserve it? Oh yes…Harley could make a list about it.

Such a good joke… one small thing, such as taking responsibility over his own acts would have made him a proud, real father.

Those brown eyes, grin and hair, his so called son… he's not his son at all.

He was the son of a lie.

Now he understood the joke…

- I don't want to give him a normal name, Jon.

- He deserves one, what are you going to call him?

- Cheshire Cat.

- That's ridiculous!
- Okay, I'll accept with one condition. History related. Name him Joseph. That's all.

- After whom?

- For me to know and you to find out.

Lie, lie… Joseph Goebells.

Knock knock

- Dad, are you ok?

It wasn't his fault. It was his. The Joker's.

Jack Napier's.

A/N: Well, it seemed I dissapeared, but I didnt. I was blocked, that's all. Thanks to every person reading and leaving reviews, as you might know, feedback is always apreciatted, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Joseph Goebells was the name of the nazi minister of propaganda who said the first line of the "letter" Hearts writes here.

Hopefully I'll update more soon, as well as my other stories.

Nezzy (whose mind is a mess)