Big shout out to all of my efriends for hanging in there with us on this crazy ride. The story is about this couple but also being a member of Starfleet as well and all that comes with it. Thanks to the men and women on my research team (Yes, I am blessed to have a team of coworkers that do research for me so I can post faster) crazy right!

Hold on people! Men now read my fanfiction so you know action and mystery will be coming. (We, just can't keep kissing Spock's face all the time) Speaking of which. Sadhappygirl, my husband would like to publicly thank you for chapters 12 and 15 of your story and he doesn't even like ST but he likes the benefits when I read yours, as a reward to myself for turning in a chapter. (Tee hee)

Let us continue….

I do not own…. It owns me

Into:

"I will not hide my pain or weaknesses anymore, honey. Not even from myself." she said, breathing through the pain. "Plus, you're already helping me through it. Keep holding me, just a little while longer," she said throughout the breathing, beginning to feel the pain subside.

"When you are weak, I will be your source of strength. Do not be afraid." he said resoundingly, placing his nose to her nose, leaning against the bed.

Nyota opened her eyes, responding, "I believe you when you say, 'Count on me'. I know I can. And you call on me if you need help, okay?. We seek each other first. No more outsiders coming in. Just us." Nyota spoke to him, looking into his eyes for support.

"Just us, no more discussing our matters with others." Spock said, he watched as her breathing even out.

"Well, maybe Gaila and Captain Pike. We need our friends right?" she asked, smiling as he caught her face in his hands and replaced the smile with a kiss.

"Whatever you desire, my Nyota." he whispered, as she turned to place her free hand on the back of his head to return the favor.

_______

All my life – K.C. and Jo Jo

"Good Morning you two" Dr. McCoy said, opening the scanner and moving it back and forth over Nyota's body. "How are we doing?"

Stretching, she yawned and turned over to look at the doctor. "I'm feeling much better, Doc, but what time is it?" she said rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"It is 05:00 hours." Spock replied as he turned his head towards the doctor. He, too, was confused by the early morning hospital visit.

The doctor could tell that he had thrown the couple for a loop. "I think today would be a great day for Lieutenant Uhura to be discharged from my lovely hospital. However, she will need extra care for just a few more days." he said as he looked around before continuing.

"The medical paperwork must be filed, but normally no one really reads the fine print," referring to the "fiancé" next to Spock's name. "Your privacy is important to me as well as to you, so I have already spoken to the Medical staff. I gently explained that I would boot them on their asses if the breathed one word of this. We are here to heal, not spread rumors." He leaned in to remove the I.V. hoping not to cause too much discomfort. "My thoughts were, if I discharge you early, you are less likely to run into people. But, I could be presuming too much" he said, not looking anywhere but at her arm, making sure the bleeding from where the needle had been had come to a complete stop.

Spock stood closer to him than he would have liked the Vulcan to be. "Uh Hum, Commander. I do know how to remove a damn I.V.!" he ranted over his shoulder and watched as the Vulcan backed slowly away.

"Understood Doctor. My apology." Spock said with a small nod before he walked to the tiny locker that held Nyota's things. "Thank you, Doctor. You are correct in your assertion."

"Well, of course I am. You think I was born yesterday?" he declared and placed a band-aid on her arm. "Well anyway, stop by my office so you can sign some release papers." He said more softly as he patted her shoulder and walked out the door.

"Nyota, here are your garments," said Spock handing her the bag that her clothes had been haphazardly thrown in. "Let me help you."

She took the bag and looked inside and smiled lovingly at him. "No Spock, I think I can manage if I stay on the bed." She opened the bag and looked inside, "If you could go and check me out, we could leave sooner" she asked lovingly.

"Most logical" Spock said, "You must not leave the bed without my assistance. Do you promise?" he asked as he looked into her eyes.

"Yes sir, Commander!" she said with a smile and began to go through the bag and take out the jogging clothes that Gaila had brought over for her to wear when she felt better.

Spock stood and looked at her. She was the Nyota that he had known and loved for so many years. Strong, independent, fearless and incorrigible, that was the girl he loved and this was the way he always wanted her to be. He would make sure that she would remain that way for as long as she wanted too.

Nyota could feel Spock looking at her. "Go on," she sang, "I promise," she said, not looking up and waving him on but Spock didn't move. Nyota looked at him, she thought silently to herself. All my life I've waited for someone like him. Grandmother told me I would know and she was right. He is strong, super intelligent, and loves me so much he spoils me. I hope he always stays this way. He has my heart and I want him to know that he has it until the ends of days.

Looking at him playfully she pointed at him and then signaled a come hither movement with her index finger. Turning her head she tapped herself on the cheek. Spock stopped and looked at her before bending to her request. "Now go." she said and began to remove her hospital gown.

Spock turned quickly and walked down the hallway to the doctor's office. The hospital wing was empty. It was Sunday and there didn't appear to be any other patients that Spock could see so most of the staff and student nurses had been given the day off.

"Come in, Commander," McCoy said, "Have a seat. I have the papers all ready for you." he said sliding the data Padd across the desk. "Do you mind me asking where you will be taking her? Just in case I need to contact you to check up on her?"

Spock stopped and pondered the question. "Excuse me, Doctor, I need to make arrangements quickly" he stated as he rose swiftly and exited the room.

Spock made his way to a public telephone and asked the operator for the closest hotel to the base. "Holiday Inn" the operator replied. "So be it, Holiday Inn registration desk please" the Vulcan stated stoically.

Walking back in, he hastily wrote down on the padd where they would be staying and what room number. "Thank you Commander." Dr. McCoy said. "Oh, Commander I've left you all the information I have on the type of barbiturates that were found in her system. It is on an email directed to your private account, like you asked. If you need any other assistance, please don't hesitate to ask." he replied as he scratched his head. He did not look pleased at all. "But damn it, I can't figure out how anyone would have access to these types of barbiturates! Even I would need upper level clearance to get my hands on these." he speculated, softly hitting his hands on his desk.

Spock sat and watched the doctor. He did not know whether this was a question that the doctor wanted answered or a rhetorical one. Vulcans do not understand the logic of rhetorical questions.

Doctor McCoy noticed Spock staring at him. "What do you want? A hug? You can go now. I've got work to do." Then adding the formal response too little and too late "Sir" he said gruffly and began going through the files he had organized on his desk.

Spock was too preoccupied with gathering Nyota before the transport vehicle had arrived to comment on the impropriety. He nodded and left the office. Plus, the doctor had taken such good care of his Nyota, he would be one of the few humans that he would allow and not reprimand for his informalities.

_________

Mokenstef- He's Mine

Nyota sat quietly on the hospital stoop in a wheelchair, at the insistence of Spock and Doctor McCoy. The fall air was crisp so Spock had wrapped his blanket around her in the chilly morning air. She waited patiently for him to return from their suite and her dorm room with clothes. Nyota was sitting and having a wonderful conversation regarding the thirteenth thousands strand of Swine Flu with the doctor. Spock would not leave her alone so the doctor volunteered to sit with her until Spock returned. "I don't need a babysitter, go." She told the doctor who needed to run diagnostics on a lab specimen he was trying to grow.

"I'll be right back, I have to check it now or my research could be ruined." Dr. McCoy said looking worried. "Five minutes, tops" he said quickly turning to leave.

As soon as the hospital doors closed her mind returned to Spock. It was still a little weird for her calling it 'their suite' but Spock insisted so she complied happily. Anything to make him content, she thought to herself as she closed her eyes and let the morning sunshine hit her face.

"Uh, excuse me. You're in front of the door!" a shrill voice said from her right side.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Nyota opened her eyes and quickly tried to move the wheelchair at the same time but then stopped abruptly when she noticed who it was. Nurse Chapel!

Just as quickly she moved the wheelchair back in front of the door. "Good morning, Nurse Chapel. Fine day isn't it?" she said, closing her eyes again.

"Yes, perfect. Now Move!" Chapel said as she tried to place her hand on the wheelchair but soon discovered that it was a very bad idea.

In one quick move, Nyota had placed her hand on top of the Nurse's and squeezed it with such force that it brought Christine to her knees. To the passerby it would look like Chapel was bending down to assist a helpless patent. But, all one had to do was look closely and one would easily see the tears start to flow from the poor girls eyes.

Nyota looked around quickly and then pushed even harder, forcing Chapel to let out a scream. "Ouch, OUCH, let my hand go!" was all the nurse could muster. She tried to use her other hand to force Nyota to let go but could not pry it loose. Chapel raised her free hand to strike at Nyota but stopped as Nyota's words came loud and true.

"Please hit me! I want you too, that way when I kill you, they will release me because it will be self-defense" she said through her teeth then leaned in closer to Chapel when she saw her lower her hand.

"I know what you are trying to do." Nyota said looking at Chapel's face turn red as the pressure on her hand was increasing. "I am warning you, leave us alone! Do you hear me?"

Chapel could only nod her head. She believed her hand was going to snap off any second.

"Don't fuck with me, Chapel. You have no idea who you're messing with! I come from kings and queens who have survived much harder things than this crap you're pulling. I have as many friends as you do. You want a war; I'll give you a war!" she said, easing up just enough as to keep the Nurse from passing out, but not allowing her release.

Chapel was trying her best to breathe but the pain in her hand and now on her knees from the concrete cutting into them was almost unbearable! "Let me go, you bitch!" she said more moaning the words than actual real speech.

"Wrong answer!" Nyota putting pressure on the woman's hand with such force that it was to the breaking point.

"Lieutenant Uhura" a strong voice came from her left. "Lieutenant Uhura!" it said with full command forcing her to snap back to attention. Looking up it was Captain Pike and he did not look happy.

Breathing rapidly from the adrenaline rush of almost breaking Chapel's hand, she slowly released it as if she had just been holding it for comfort. She tried, without success, to 'center' herself and hoped that Capitan Pike would fall for it. He didn't.

He watched as Nurse Chapel rubbed and shook her hand and wiped her eyes and then slowly stood to reveal her bloody knees. "What the hell is going on here?" he said as he stepped closer and removed a handkerchief from his officer's uniform pocket and handed it to Chapel.

Uhura looked at her preparing to be reported, "Uhm sir, I fell running up the stairs and Lieutenant Uhura was just helping me get up. Right Lieutenant?" she said, still patting blood from the abrasions on her knees.

"Whatever she said," Nyota replied with a smirk on her face then turned to Chapel, "You just remember what I said, Okay? We wouldn't want you to keep falling down, now would we?" and she moved the wheelchair from the front of the door.

Nurse Chapel's face grew hot and the veins in her neck began to bulge! "I may fall, but I always get up and next time, I'll be swinging!" she said, bending slightly over so Nyota could hear her but not quite so close as to become her victim again.

"Captain" Nurse Chapel said and limped into the hospital wing. Uhura sat and looked smug until she noticed the Captain looking directly at her.

"Lieutenant Uhura, What do you think Spock would say if he knew about this?" he said looking more fatherly than formal.

Uhura's look went from smug to worried. "uhm" she said, as she tried to think of something to say.

Captain Pike said, "He would hit the Vulcan roof and you know this!" Breathing deeply he sat down on the stairs. "Lieutenant, I have no idea what that was about. I know almost everything about Spock so I can guess. You and Chapel may someday have to work together and Starfleet doesn't give a rat's ass about who has been with whom. So, figure out a way to work together. Solider first, lover, wife, even mother second, you got that?" he said scolding her

"Yes sir," she replied as if speaking to her father, not her Captain. "I'll do better." She added with a small smile.

"Yes, well. I'm here to put you in a transport and send you to the hotel" he said as he stood up knocking the dirt off his officer's formal uniform.

Nyota looked puzzled. "But I'm waiting for Spock" she said as the Captain began to wheel her down the ramp.

"Well, I ran into the Commander. He was loaded with everything you could think of, making this 'sneaking away' thing hard if he has you also. So, I volunteered to put you in the transport and he will be there to take you out." he said, putting the brakes on the wheelchair and waving the cab transport down to the slope of the sidewalk.

Nyota allowed the Captain to help her into the vehicle. Before it pulled away, Nyota leaned over and said, " Spock is lucky to have you as a friend and I am lucky to have you both." kissing him on the cheek and waving goodbye before he closed the door.

The Captain thought to himself, I wonder if it was easer in the ancient days when women weren't allowed on ships? then smiled and shook his head, Yes, but it couldn't have been nearly as interesting!

__________

Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You

A weary, hurt, angry and very confused woman limped into the hospital wing. She could not look left. She could not look right. She simply looked forward; her mind was in a very bad, extremely dark place. If the heart could make a sound beyond its beat, hers would sound like shattered glass hitting cats. It was screeching pain.

She turned into the first medical room she came to and grabbed a scanner and waved it back and forth over her hand. Nothing broken, not even a mark left for proof, just a small throb to reminder of the altercation.

She searched and easily found the skin rejuvenation kit and suddenly felt the need to run as fast as she could! She ran past Dr. McCoy's office and quickly made her way to the private Nurse's bathroom. Not even the great Dr. McCoy could bother her here! She was the head nurse and this was her private bathroom.

The door slammed hard behind her, she walked around going nowhere. Bending and looking at her knees she began to cry harder and harder. "What have I become?" she said through the tears. Jumping up and down, she grabbed her head and placed her hands over her eyes as if to hide her shame.

Nurse Chapel stood in the middle of the private bathroom wailing and cursing not Uhura, but herself. "What have I done? Where did I go?" she cried before succumbing to the painful thought that she might have just ended her career over a man. She promised herself that she would never become her mother. And yet? The thought making her stomach hurt.

She tried to catch her breath but she just kept coming back to her memories of her mother and father. They fought like cats and dogs but she always took him back! She thought, remembering the many times her father had put her mother in the hospital. The bruises he would leave on her face and body. Her mother would refer to them as "love taps". She remembered the times, as a child, she and her siblings would run and hide in the family's bathroom until the state would come and take them away.

She remembered the many nights her mother would be confronted by her father's mistress. "He'll be home in the morning." her mother would say, smiling at her children when there father's plate would be empty for the umpteenth time that month. "He provides for us or that's just the way men are" was the wisdom her mother passed on to her from her mother and more than likely her mother.

"That's the way it goes right?" she said "People who love you hurt you, right?" She rationalized Spock's Pon Farr connection as misguided love that she had become accustomed to through her violent childhood.

"He chose me!" she said as she began to clean the scratches, her sobs becoming controllable. "My father never asked my mother. He did whatever he wanted to whenever he wanted to! See, I am better than her." she stated as she made her way to the sink and threw water in her face.

"My father would feel so bad afterwards he would beg my mother to take him back." she said, sadly. "Spock never begged me to take him back." Thinking hard, her face lit up! "That's it! He feels so bad because he hurt me that he doesn't know how to apologize. He's Vulcan, he doesn't know how to, so he is avoiding me. How could I be so stupid!" she said, rolling her eyes. Her mind began to Hide the memories to try to keep her sane.

"I just have to lay low for a while and when the right moment comes up I'll give him his chance to apologize. Maybe if I give him the opportunity to make love to me, nice and normal like, he will feel my love for him and he won't need to apologize. Vulcans," she said, shaking her head and applying some lipstick.

"See, you are nothing like your mother!" she said smiling and kissing at her refection in the mirror before jumping slightly at Dr. McCoy's screams because someone was seeking medical assistance. "Ah, men" she said, as she walks out, "Yes, Doctor?"

TBC

Most of the times, we humans tend to bring baggage from our childhood. You just never know what a person has been through to make them who they are.

Send some love, y'all

"Smile"

Tondelayo