Disclaimer - Aoshi and all other characters belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki and not me.

A.N - Once the idea of Aoshi and Kaoru ending up together was put into my head in a review of Deceit, the idea of their relationship got stuck in my head. Deceit was always intended to be a Kenshin/Kaoru piece, but since it was mentioned that Aoshi and Kaoru had a past, I thought that I could perhaps at least write about that :)

~KH.

In retrospect, I should say that meeting her was the worst thing that ever happened to me, because since she came to take up residence in my heart it will admit no other. Nevertheless, as I know well, the heart chooses whom it chooses and I can no more blame her heart than I can my own.

We met at University; she was in her third year, while I was in my fourth and final year. I happened upon her in a small coffee shop on the main street in town. I often came here to study since most students tended to frequent the coffee shops and bars closer to campus, mostly due to the cheaper prices. So, I was surprised to see her there, particularly since it was a warm, Friday evening and most girls her age would usually be preening themselves to go out partying.

I still don't know what possessed me to approach her. Maybe it was the way she abused her bottom lip as she concentrated on the book in front of her. Perhaps it was the cute manner in which she would huff in exasperation so that the small puff of air would make her bangs fly upwards. Whatever it was, I found myself drawn to her, glancing down to notice that it was a book I knew well which seemed to be causing her trouble, I moved forward and broke the silence. "Perhaps there is something I can help you with, miss?"

For a moment, I thought she would just decline and send me on my way, but to my surprise, she gave me a wide smile and gestured to the seat opposite her.

"Kami-sama if you know anything about this damned book, then by all means tell me all you know. Oh and by the way I'm Kamiya Kaoru…" She tailed off, obviously fishing for my name in return and I was happy to oblige her and those wonderfully expressive eyes, which practically shone with curiosity.

"Shinomori, Aoshi, judging by the book in front of you I presume you are taking Professor Ward's class? In which case you will need all the help you can get, the man is an incompetent idiot. How he managed to earn a position here I'll never know."

She giggled in response and the sound was as captivating as everything else about her was.

We conversed for hours, finding out that we were both from prosperous families in Japan. Though it wasn't surprising we had never run into one another before, my family was fairly reclusive. Oh, they turned up at the necessary functions, but had chosen to raise me away from the pomp and circumstance of such affairs, preferring me to concentrate on my studies rather than learning how to schmooze with the sycophants of the business world.

Kaoru admitted that she hadn't had much to do with them either, her father considered the majority of the people one had to associate with in that world wolves and didn't care to let them anywhere near his daughter. The only functions she had ever attended were those in which her childhood friend had been present. Apparently, they were very close, although mentioning him seemed to bring sadness to her eyes. It wasn't until we walked her back to her apartment that we both realized we hadn't even discussed the book she'd been reading at all. With a laugh, she'd smiled up at me saying she figured that just meant we'd have to go over it another time.

One meeting turned into two, which turned into three, which turned into a regular habit between us. After a few weeks, she finally told me all about Kenshin. He was the main reason she was studying so far from home. University had finally given her the excuse she'd needed to extricate herself from his life without seeming like she was distancing herself from him and she no longer had to sit through the torture of his relationship with Tomoe.

I remember she'd given me the most beautiful smile when I told her what a fool Kenshin was and decided the little gasp that left her lips right before I kissed her was downright sexy.

Again, I'd surprised myself by my actions around her. I'd never been one for dating, except for women my parents had set me up with and none of them had been memorable to me in any way, no one had really caught my attention until Kaoru.

She was warm, intelligent, lively and funny, definitely no shrinking violet. I could only imagine how painful it must have been to watch someone she loved be in a relationship with another that spoke volumes of the quiet strength that seemed to radiate from her. Which I think endeared her to me all the more. She could think for herself, her independence so unlike all the women I'd met before her. It wasn't long before I realized I was totally addicted to this amazing woman.

I shouldn't have been surprised at my slip of control; I don't think I ever had any where Kaoru was concerned. I was raised to believe carnal matters should wait until marriage, but she was so damn alluring. She'd agreed to attend a business function with me that was being held in London. She'd always been beautiful, but she was a vision in the dress that she had chosen. A deep royal blue, strapless affair that clung to her every curve, her hair was down for once instead of in its usual ponytail. She wore a ribbon choker around her neck instead of a ribbon in her hair.

I could blame it on the alcohol I suppose, but neither of us had consumed enough that we could have claimed to be drunk. I think it had been building since we danced, holding her so close to my own body, her warmth just seemed to set my body aflame. She seemed just as affected as I did; her usually bright eyes seemed cloudy with desire.

Our kisses back in the hotel room while not frenzied were slow and languid, our passion building slowly. Her skin was like velvet beneath my fingers and her hands running gently through my hair had sent jolts of electricity down my spine. She was beautiful, what we did was beautiful and I'll never forget the joy of waking up to her that next morning, nor the smile she gave me. For in that moment, I could tell she was only seeing me, not Kenshin, not ghosts of a former love, but just me.

Alas it was not to last, certainly the months that followed filled us both with joy and I had started to consider our future together a future that wasn't to be. Walking her back to her apartment that fateful snowy night, I kissed her beneath the lamp light, smirking when her hand came up to grab the lapel of my coat once I pulled away, I could see the beckoning look in her eyes, urging me to stay with her for the night. Catching the adoring blush that had risen on her face I couldn't help but smile and lean in to kiss her senseless once again, but was stopped as someone nearby coughed.

Glancing down the pathway to the doorstep of her apartment, under the porch light we could see a man with flaming red hair. His name slipped softly from her lips and I think I can safely say that for the first time in my adult life, I truly felt fear.

In the weeks that followed, I wasn't merely fearful but terrified; I could see slowly that I was losing her. Kenshin had come to her distraught, apparently, his relationship with Tomoe had ended and he'd sought out Kaoru for comfort, which of course she readily provided at the expense of spending time with me.

I knew something had happened by the look on her face as she met me that chilly February morning. She was apprehensive and her eyes were full of guilt. He hadn't wanted her when he was with Tomoe and now that he was alone, suddenly all he could see was Kaoru. He had kissed her and while Kaoru stressed she hadn't reciprocated, she admitted she hadn't pushed him away.

I suppose I should have felt happy that she cared enough for me to feel torn between us both, but I knew who held the greatest part of her heart and it wasn't I and so we parted. Perhaps I should have stayed and fought, but I loved her enough not to want to put her through that, or maybe it was just that I couldn't stand to fight a battle I knew I wouldn't win, a man does have his pride after all.

I met my love in summer and with the New Year she was gone, physically at least, for in my heart she still remains.