Chapter four

Sam got back to the motel and stood at the door, not wanting to face Dean – not wanting to face anybody. He took a deep breath then went in the dark room.

"Where'd you go?" Dean asked and Sam jumped.

"Err, coffee..." Sam said but realised he didn't have the coffee anymore.

"Where is it then?" Dean asked looking at Sam's empty hands.

"Drank it..." Sam said avoiding eye contact with Dean and heading for the bathroom.

"Thanks for getting me some, man." Dean said watching Sam with a confused look on his face. Sam just slammed the door and locked himself into the bathroom. This was harder than he'd imagined. Dean notices all of Sam's change in emotions.

Sam stood with his back against the door then there was a bang on it.

"Sam, are you ok?" Dean's voice came through.

"Yeah, just need a shower." Sam said and Dean left him alone. Sam decided to have another shower.

Sam stood under the water and turned it up as high as it would go. After a moment the hot water finally got hot and it began to burn his skin, Sam stood under it with his eyes closed; washing away everything that had happened.

"Sam, come on! You've bee half an hour!" Dean banged on the door again snapping Sam out of his daze. He stepped out of the shower and got dressed.

Dean was waiting outside the door when Sam went out, still eyeing him up suspiciously.

"Dude, what's up?" Dean said as Sam went to look out of the window.

"Nothing," Sam said knowing Dean won't stop asking after his one word answer. Dean walked over to Sam and looked out of the window, wondering what Sam was looking at. Dean then stood staring up at Sam who was still really trying to avoid Dean's eye line.

"Sam?" Dean said pulling on Sam's shoulder so they faced each other. Sam looked down at Dean still not talking and then he looked at his feet.

"What's happened?" Dean asked still holding Sam's shoulder.

"Nothing. I told you." Sam said to his feet.

"No, Sam I know you, and something's up." Sam shuffled on his feet uncomfortably thinking of an excuse.

"Hunting's just getting to me..." Sam said rather unconvincingly.

"Sammy... you know we can't let it build up on us." Dean said looking up at Sam. "I know how hard it can be."

You have no idea... Sam thought and at this thought he couldn't stop his eyes welling up with tears. Sam turned away from Dean and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand but before he knew it Dean was pulling him around and staring him in the face.

Dean pulled Sam down into a hug and Sam embraced it, he needed it. Sam tried to pull away because he knew he would start crying any minute but Dean wouldn't let him. But then Dean started kissing Sam's ear and Sam pulled away looking down at Dean confused.

Dean didn't say a word he just leant forwards, and upwards, to Sam's lips and kissed him gently. Sam closed his eyes and pulled Dean in closer for more. The brothers were locked in a passionate kiss, Dean's hands going through Sam's hair whilst Sam was holding Dean tightly around his waist.

Suddenly Sam pushed Dean away, he couldn't help but thinking of that morning; him getting raped by the biker guy - his "client". Dean's hands were soft and loving but Sam couldn't help but remember his experience.

Dean looked up at Sam, terror in his eyes, showing the realisation that had just flowed over him about what had just happened. Sam wanted to reach out to his brother and kiss him, tell him how much he meant to him but he couldn't. Dean stared waiting for an explanation but as it didn't come Dean stormed out of the motel. Sam stood staring at the door where Dean had slammed it shut and he collapsed on the bed behind him with his head in his hands.