A/N;
Review replies time haha, because I can't think of any Author Notes here :3
Ditto9 - Baaah, I really should stop spoiling my fics for you xD! you know half of the next chapter of Je M'en Fous after all XDD And as you know, draw away, lol XD
Ultimolu - Hope this was quick enough for you, hehe X3 And thank you again!
KT324 - Thank you =3 I reckon Claire would make a good mum, and an amazing aunty, haha XD Updated, once again hope it was soon enough~.
The phone line rung once… Twice… Thrice? … Seven times, eight times, nine times… Before it finally rung out.
Claire pouted, looking at the phone in her hands as she paced back and forth, close by the kitchen door. With a sigh, she reluctantly dialed the home number of her brother, and waiting for the ringing again. Just as before, it rung out.
Not one to be defeated so easily, she quickly pressed a different set of numbers, in a sequence that matched the mobile of her brother. Crossing one arm over her stomach, she leaned against the wall, waiting patiently. By all means, the two had to be home – It had been some time since they had left, after all. Even being stuck in traffic wouldn't count for such a long absence.
"Hello?"
About time.
"Took you long enough." Claire stated, a hint of a laugh in her voice. For whatever reason, she could hear hesitation in her brother's own. "Where the heck are you?"
"Uh, Home…"
"Why didn't you answer the home phone?"
"I didn't hear it ring. I barely heard the mobile."
Claire raised a brow at this. She remembered the home phone being exceptionally loud, even from the room furthest way from it. Unless you had music or something very noisy going on, you'd be more likely to not hear a gong being hit.
"Well then, what are you doing?" Claire asked, letting Chris pick up her suspicion. She could hear him once again hesitate, trying to think of an answer. Wondering what in the world he could be doing was stirring her curiousity.
"Nothing important…" He answered eventually, sounding as if his mouth had gone dry.
"Bullshit!!"
"Dammit Jill, don't hit!"
Claire stifled a giggle, hearing her brother shoot off a whine at his wife's rather physical argument. "Sounds like you got your hands full over there, I feel kinda bad for calling."
"Uh… You could say that…" He mumbled under his breath.
"Alright, you're making my mind do somersaults at the moment, Chris. You've got a lot of explaining to do when you pick Evans up. Now before I go back off subject…" Claire trailed off as she heard something a bit out of place.
Something resembling a groan, a pant, whine… A hint of a gasp. All mixed together, quieted down as if to try and hide it from Claire's ears.
"Uh, Claire…?" The pause had gone on for quite some time, and it unnerved Chris a bit. Had his little sister gathered that---
"Y, you're having sex, aren't you?!" Claire spat down the phone, causing Chris to, as best as he could, move the phone a fraction away from his now pained ear.
"C-Claire, stay on subject!" Chris barked, though was clearly caught off guard by her observation. Correct observation, one should add. He should have known – His kid sister was a smart cookie. Unfortunately.
"How can I stay on subject while you're fucking your wife while talking to me?!" The younger Redfield sibling yelled, flailing her free arm about, "Chris, seriously, not cool! Not cool at all!!"
"Listen here little sis, one day w---" Chris had begun, but his words quickly turned to an unintelligent shout, a loud thud being heard quickly after. Claire, still taken aback by the whole thing, hadn't even realised that Jill had taken the phone.
"Hey there Dear, what's up?" Jill greeted, or rather purred. Claire slowly managed to snap out of her stunned trance, Jill waiting quite patiently for her to do as such.
"… You sure sound, uh… Fulfilled…" Claire stated awkwardly, regretting it within moments.
"Mm… Best word to use there, Claire."
"Ew."
Jill simply laughed in return. It was like some sort of hierarchy had been created when she married into family – Claire unnerved and embarrassed Chris, and Jill did just that to Claire when the opportunity arose. All in family fun, or course – She cared for Claire like a sister. Which was certainly a good thing; considering how close-knit this said family happened to be.
"Can I ask how you got the phone…?" Claire asked a few moments later, having regained her composure. Jill hummed for a moment again before answer.
"Oh, it was pretty simple. I just shoved your brother out and off me," Jill answered, inducing a gag from Claire. Jill looked over the side off the bed, her husband pouting at her from his uncomfortable seat on the ground. She simply gave him a sly smile, before continuing her conversation with Claire, "You might want to hurry up. Your brother gets awfully grumpy when he's horny and denied."
"Gross gross gross gross…" Claire squeaked, covering her eyes and trying her best to disallow the mental image from entering her mind. "Oh god, it burns, so much… No-one's meant to see their brother like that, nooo…"
"Please Claire, before he decides to jump me again." Jill sighed, then paused, her voice taking on more of a serious, mother tone. "Is this about Evans?"
At the mention of her nephew's name, Claire managed to snap herself back to normal… Again. She gave a slight nod, even if it couldn't be see, "Yeah, it is actually."
Jill sat up straight on the bed, crossing her legs and listening careful, her mother instincts kicking into full drive. "What's wrong? Has something happened?"
The mother's tone sent a chill down Claire's spine. "Oh, no no no… It's nothing like that. At least I hope not. It's kind of embarrassing to ask, but… Is Evans allergic to anything? Uhm, I know I should have asked Chris before he left, actually I should know to begin with, but…"
She heard Jill breath a sigh of relief, no doubt unwinding herself from the worry. "No, no thankfully he's not…" She answered, shaking her head, "Although, his tummy has been a little sensitive lately… As long as you don't give him anything too heavy, he'll be fine."
"Apples, oranges, watermelon, cherries, almonds, walnuts and carrots?"
"That's perfect for him, stop fretting." Jill assured her sister-in-law warmly. "Is there anything else?"
"Nah, that was it. I'm really sorry to bother you." Claire apologized, then tensed up slightly, "Especially during that."
"It's fine, Claire." Jill stated, "If it concerns my son, it takes full priority."
"Alright, I'll let you go then," Claire said, breathing another sigh of relief. Jill bid a quick farewell before Claire hung up, before Claire tossed her phone across the room and onto the couch. What perfect aim she seemed to have.
Still on the Redfield bed, however… Jill had just set Chris' phone onto the bedside drawer before stiffening. She waited a moment, tempted to look over her shoulder.
"I can feel you staring and me, babe." She stated slowly, turning just a fraction to see Chris back on his side of the bed, a clear smirk on his face.
"Honey…"
"Mm?"
"Roar!!"
She barely had any time to squeal before being pounced on, the poor thing – Although clearly she didn't mind the quite forward attention her husband was paying her. One would have to guess that's what happens when someone denies a couple their lovin' for too long. Oh dear.
Across town, back at Claire's house, however…
Claire placed a hand over hear heart, mumbling a few words of thanks that she hadn't screwed up and gotten her poor nephew ill. She would never have forgiven herself for being so careless if that had happened.
"Aunty Claire, what's sex?"
OH SHIT. Claire jumped about a mile in the air as she looked to the left, seeing the little boy in question standing quite innocently, looking up at her with a curious expression. Her jaw had dropped, the question registering in her mind. Oh hell no. There's no way I'm fielding this one. Why couldn't he have asked me when he was eight or something?! That's when they always ask!!
"You don't want to know what that is Sweetie!" She stated, having trouble stripping the panic and surprise from her voice.
"Yes I do!" her little nephew replied, placing his hands on his hips defiantly.
"No you don't."
"Aunty, I do!"
"You don't want to know what it is. You want to watch Tales from the Crypt." Claire stated blankly, barely even having to think of the solution.
"I want to watch Tales from the Crypt!" The boy chirped in response, having no real idea what the thing was, but hey. Claire quickly managed to get herself off the floor, patting the boy on the back and gesturing back to the lounge room. The little boy happily ran to the couch, Claire following after. She kneeled down below the TV, which sat on a cabinet, and caused quite a bit of noise before finding the right DVDs, setting it up for Evans.
She grabbed the remotes from beside and turned everything on. Evans ended up jumping a fraction at the sound of the maniacal laugh on the TV, but seemed to sink back to a very interested state as Claire started up one of the episodes, retreating back to the kitchen to go clean up.
She could just manage to hear from where she was, having left the door open. She recognized the episode straight away – The series was one she watched nearly as much as her soap operas.
'Vampires say life sucks, mummy takes the wrap after years in denial, and illiterate zombies insist they're better dead than read.'
She couldn't help but smile as she heard Evans laugh at a dumb joke he was probably far too young to understand. Her little nephew just seemed that adorable to her, and she was as thankful as all hell she didn't have to explain the birds and the bees to him.
That would be his dad and mum's job.
A/N;
I actually find this exceptionally entertaining because in Grand Guignol, Claire's about as much of a voyeur as Wesker is. Actually, there's a point in a chapter of that where Chris has to actually threaten, and then bribe her to stop watching… XD But that's another story for a different publication date!
Oh, and I love Tales from the Crypt :3 I was watching it when I was a little older than Evans here, I think. Not realizing what sex was back then, I was okay watching most of the episodes, so he'll be fiiine XD And he seems like a kid that can handle all the blood in the series, haha.