Title: I Can Has?
Rating: K
Word Count: 383
Summary: If Kushina keeps running face-first into trees like this, she's going to either give herself a concussion or mess up that pretty face. Minato, Kushina, and youthful!Gai.
Warnings: Spoilers if you don't know who Minato and Kushina are. Oh, and Minato being grumpy and Gai being.. Gai.
Author's Notes: ...don't even ask. When I think chat speak, I think Uzumaki.

Minato heard the unpleasantly familiar crash of tree upon flesh somewhere to his left and dispatched the last Iwa-nin just in time to see Kushina falling away from a quivering branch, eyes crossed and mouth gaping.

She had been operating out of Konoha for almost six months now, and she still hadn't gotten used to maneuvering around the forest. He felt more chagrined than amused; seeing the village loudmouth crash face-first into a tree had been funny at first, but after the sixth time or so, it started to get old. They were definitely going to work on that the next time they trained together.

"Kushina-san!" A green blur crashed through the growth and fell to her side, instantly checking her pulse. "Kushina-san, please speak to me! Such a crushing blow to a so delicate a flower cannot-"

Minato bit back a snort at the thought of how Kushina would react to being called a "delicate flower" if she had been alert enough to hear it. "Calm down, Gai-kun. She'll live, I promise."

"But Minato-taicho-"

"Uzumaki-san!" he interrupted in his most authoritative voice.

On reflex, she sat up and snapped to attention. "Sir!" Her eyes were still glazed over and she sounded like she was speaking through a mouthful of cotton balls, but at least she seemed to remember her name.

"Do you think you'll able to get back to Konoha on your own?"

"…Wha?"

Minato spoke slowly and clearly, as if to a small child. "Do you need me to carry you?"

"I can has carry?"

Minato sighed and took that as a yes.

"Um, Minato-taicho, is Kushina-san… going to be okay?" Gai was now looking at her as if she had sprouted an extra arm out of her forehead.

"Don't worry, her grammar is always that atrocious. Think you can carry your pack along with ours?"

Stupid question. "I would be honored to bear such a burden so that you may safely escort Kushina-san back to the village! If I am unable to tote such a load, I will do five hundred push ups!"

Minato squinted at the sparkles dancing off of Gai's too-white teeth and thought he felt the beginnings of a migraine behind his eyes.