Okay this one is gonna be hard so I hope you just bare with me for a little while here. I'm more on my own on this one than I usually am for Finn so cross your fingers that it comes out alright and, if it doesn't, so sorry. Finn's POV. Oh, I can't write without a soundtrack and I have my muses for Kurt and Puck but if anyone has some good Finn writing music, please send me an email. I keep switching between Led Zeppelin and Coldplay but I need something less angsty than them. The song in this chapter is "Miserable At Best" by Mayday Parade. This one is a bit sad. I started crying while I was writing.Reviews are love, critiques are fuel.

I wish Kurt didn't have to work at his dad's garage last night. I really wanted to hang with him. I couldn't stop thinking about him all night. He was everywhere. I even questioned if my clothing would reach his standards before I crawled into bed.

When I got to school, the first thing I noticed was that Kurt wasn't surrounded by a bunch of jocks at the dumpster. That was odd. Normally, the first thing I hear in the morning is Kurt bitching about how they were going to ruin his clothes and how "this is Marc Jacobs new fall collection!" Maybe they had already thrown him in and he was in the school cleaning off. I kinda wanted to rescue him so that he would talk to me and maybe be so grateful that he would want to hang out with me tonight. Speaking of which, I needed to find him. Maybe we can go to the batting cage or something. Wait, does Kurt even play baseball? If he doesn't, we can just play mini-golf or something. I'll figure it out.

I made it to my locker without having to see Quinn or Puck at all. As I finished getting my books for the day, I turned towards Kurt's locker, hoping to catch him before he left for his first class. I couldn't help but stare at the scene in front of me. Puck had his hand on Kurt's locker and was standing with his face about six inches from Kurt's. They were talking in hushed tones to each other but seemed oblivious to everything around them. Kurt's back was to me. I thought Puck would be pissed off or something. Why else would he have Kurt trapped? He didn't seem angry though, just hurt. I crept a bit closer to hear them better. What business did Puck have with Kurt?

"I'm sorry. It was my dad."

"Yeah, whatever Kurt. If you had planned on blowing me off (no pun intended), you shouldn't have led me on."

"Noah, believe me. I had every intention of coming over. I was halfway out the door when my dad called me into the living room. Noah, he pulled out a box of condoms and a banana and tried to give me a sex talk." Puck's face turned bright red at this.

"That's rough. Listen, it's okay but you can't do that to me again. You left me high and dry last night and I needed you."

Kurt reached up and lightly cupped Puck's face. I couldn't see his face, but I knew that he was giving Puck a soft smile that made Puck melt. "I know and I'm sorry." He paused for a second. "Are you still coming over tonight?" Puck gave him a smile that he reserved for cheerleaders and MILFs.

"Of course, babe. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Can't wait." Kurt turned and walked off to his first class. When he passed me, he smiled and waved a little but didn't stop to walk with me like he usually would. Puck looked smug and proud of himself and when he turned to go, I just couldn't help myself. I felt a growl rip from the throat and I punched the locker as hard as I could. I felt my knuckles start to swell and it hurt like a bitch but the hole in my heart was worse. It was one thing for Puck to steal Quinn from me, but Kurt? Kurt had to know that Puck wasn't good for him. Clearly, I'm the one that Kurt should be with, right?

There was no way that I was going to let this rest. I needed Kurt to know that I was right for him. I needed Kurt to be mine more than I've ever needed anything. This was far beyond wanting to be his; this was an absolute need, as powerful as water. I suddenly felt like I was losing him and, if that happened, I would lose everything. He was everything to me now. He needed to know that, but first, I needed to find out what he and Puck have been up to and why he blew me off last night. It sounded like he wasn't even with Puck so who could he have been with?

xxx

Why is it that everyone that I have ever loved has a song? I found Kurt's.

I walked into Spanish and immediately went to see Mr. Schuester.

"Can I sing a solo at practice today? It's a ballad but I really need to tell someone something but I can't find the words to say it. I know the perfect song though." I really hope he couldn't see the desperation in my eyes.

"Is it Quinn?" I shook my head. "Okay Finn. Do what you need to do."

"Thanks Mr. Schue." I turned, feeling anxious and excited and took my seat next to Kurt. He turned to face me and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Something is going on with you, Finn Hudson." Well duh.

"With me? What about with you? Why did you blow me off last night? Apparently I'm not the only one you're screwing over lately, Kurt. I heard you with Puck earlier. What the hell are you doing hanging out with that asshole anyways?" Kurt looked at me with wide eyes. I regretted blowing up instantly. He looked so ashamed at himself and, when he finally answered me, his voice was small.

"I'm sorry, Finn. Eventually, I will be able to tell you, but I'm just not ready yet. I promise though, when I'm ready, you'll be the first one to know." He looked up and gave me a level stare that went straight through me. I felt like I was seeing his soul. I knew, in that moment, he would never hurt me, would never lie to me. I knew he was perfect in every way. Puck was wasted on him. Kurt was so beautiful and I needed him to be mine. I needed him to know that.

xxx

Lunch time practice. My heart was racing as I went to give the song to the pianist.

"Alright everyone, settle down. Finn has a ballad that he would like to perform during today's rehearsal." A collective cheer went through my fellow gleeks. I took a deep breath and stood to face everyone. As the music started, I looked straight into Kurt's eyes to sing the first few lines.

Katie, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, it's not mine, but I want it so

Kurt drew his breath in. He seemed to stop breathing as I sang to him.

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(While across the room he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

I glanced at Puck. His eyes were wide as the words registered in his brain.

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped to find
In every single way
And everything I would give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

I walked over to Kurt and took his hand. As I pulled him up to stand beside me, Mercedes gasped. I couldn't help but smile a bit at that.

Cause I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
And I need it

So, let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(While across the room he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

I began swaying back and forth with him.

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

At that, I pulled Kurt in and kissed him lightly. I stepped back from him just in time to sing my next line.

Ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So, let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(While across the room he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you but
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best...

As the music came to a close, Kurt stared into my eyes. His jaw dropped as he registered what had just happened and I let his hand fall. He took a step away from me and gathered his composure. With a sharp intake, he raised his head and stared straight into my eyes. He threw his shoulders back and walked out of the room. Puck stared after him for a second before slowly standing up. He turned to me.

"What the hell dude." He started to walk out.

"He deserves way more than you, Puckerman," I spat at his back. When he turned back to me, his eyes were daggers.

"How dare you?" He walked towards me, his hands balling into fists. "How dare you play with his heart? Yeah, I know he's too good for me. He's too good for everyone here. One day, he's going to leave this town far behind and we're going to see his name everywhere and remember who he used to be. We'll remember the man we all used to love. But until then, no one here is good enough for him, not you, not me. But damn I could have been. Then you had to swoop in on your high horse and knock me off my pedestal. Fuck you, Finn." He turned to walk out again, but I couldn't help myself. I was on him in a second, his arms pinned beneath my knees, my fist connecting over and over with his face. My vision had blurred completely from the tears running down my face when I felt hands grab me. It was amazing that I was able to keep connecting with Puck's face. Mike and Matt had me pinned against the wall in a heartbeat. Rachel and Mercedes grabbed Puck and took him to the nurse's office. As he was being dragged out, Kurt walked back in. He looked at me with lost, sad eyes and slowly shook his head. He walked slowly towards me and reached his hand out to cup my face. His voice was just slightly above a whisper.

"Finn, I loved you. But this is just too much. I'm sorry but I just can't love you right now." With that, he broke my heart. I was shattered. I had nothing left. Puck had taken everything. He took my baby girl, my girlfriend, my Kurt. I was ruined. The tears poured even thicker from my eyes. Kurt's breath hitched and he turned from me.

"Kurt, wait!" He turned his head towards me but his body remained facing the door. "Kurt, I...I love you." Kurt looked at the ground and sighed, silent tears now streaming from his eyes.

"I loved you, Finn."