Yup, another chapter! I apologize about not updating, etc. etc., but really, who reads this? Also, if you pick up even ONE of these references, (and references are numbered, so if you do get it, then you have to put in the number and where it comes from in the PM or review), you get to have your character commit a Random Acts of Evil That Are Mildly Disturbing®, that you think up yourself. First three people who get it. Name, Anime, and whether it was opening one or two, or ending three or four, etc.

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Tasha summoned the Authoress, using a strange and vaguely frightening way to call her.

"LOOK! IT'S A NEW PARODY FIC!" The Authoress came immediately.

"…damnit. You just lured me here with your words." She said.

"Yup. So why no holy beam of light?" Tasha asked.

"They only have the pink slide. I can't use plain white, though, God and UL­ (1) called dibs on it."

"Right. Anyways, I need intangibility. For this next one."

"FINE. Be that way."

1) Scream loudly every time you see him and perform a barrel roll.

Roy was, for the sake of the non-existent plot, walking around HQ. Just walking. On his break. Trying to pick up some women. He, at one point, passed the doorway. Then Tasha came out, saw him, and screamed. Everyone turned around to see an Oriental girl scream 'MUSTANG!' and do a barrel roll. Into the wall. And when they reported it, it was dismissed, because going through a wall and going out the other side without damaging the walls was scientifically impossible.

Unfortunately, the Authoress had already done many scientifically impossible things, like getting drunk on Sprite, so therefore it was possible. Just not scientifically so.

When asked about the Sprite episode, she will look confused and back away slowly. So don't ask.

It was getting pretty fun for Tasha, though, because she would lurk around Roy's office, and whenever he would walk in to try and complete his paperwork, she would scream shrilly and barrel roll into the wall. As was stated beforehand. Roy soon avoided his office, developing a near-steady twitch and jumping a little every time he saw someone who looked even remotely like Tasha.

2) Loudly deny you just did this.

When Tasha was confronted by Roy about this, mainly because everyone would do so at this point, she would yell,

"I'm not a ghost, damnit! How the hell would I go through a wall?" To demonstrate, she would rap her knuckles against the wall. They did not go through, and Roy was amazed. He even shoved her at a wall once while she was off-guard, but she just bounced straight back. Because of his nervousness, he never completed his paperwork.

Unfortunately, if Roy was fired, it would be unlulzy, and so Tasha would stay out of the office for a day or two at a time, staying outside and betting on when Mustang would go into a nervous breakdown. Tasha bet 10 cenz on a week. Everyone else bet against her. She continued to go through walls in a highly amusing manner, though not as frequently.

Hawkeye would patrol the walls for Roy for months afterward, so that if SHE appeared, Riza would throw her right back.

3) Steal his gloves and wreak havoc all over HQ.

While Roy was out explaining to his therapist how thirteen year olds were evil and had intangibility, Tasha explored his office. On account of a bet, she had to steal his gloves. Tasha not that well acquainted with FMA-verse was understandably confused. Therefore, when she found his gloves, she immediately ran straight back out and asked,

"So what do I do with these?"

Breda, being the lovable Breda that he is, grinned widely. "Well, you know," he said. "Snap your fingers."

Tasha did so, and a tiny spark came out. Her eyes widened, because a) she was a science nerd, and b) she understood that the circles were activated by snapping, and she could now change the atmosphere.

Breda, Fuery, Havoc and Falman immediately dove for cover.

Tasha ran around, snapping, and the entire building shook each time. At first, the military thought that there was an enemy force. Then they speculated that the homunculi were at it. Then finally, they were all nearly tragically killed in an accident involving a half-crazed Oriental girl who was drunk on power.

Lots and LOTS of power. And some vodka that she downed by accident, trying to breathe fire.

Soon, she was sitting in a chair, snapping at anything that moved. And a few that she thought moved, including a few benches and a very insulting piece of dust. Then she started singing random J-pop songs.

"Kimi no te de~" she started off with (2). Then she frowned, snapped at one of the purple horses, and sang the middle of the next song. "Fairy Blue kimi no tame ni~ Hoshi wo kudaki~ Kakari Tsuketa~~"(3)

She then snapped out of her drunken stupor because the Authoress realized that she was only thirteen, and ran off.

4) Blame Roy.

After she placed the gloves in Roy's desk, she ran to the Führer's office and submitted some evidence on Roy's blowing up of HQ.

Unfortunately, she was not believed, merely because the people in the military Actually Have Brains and a Working Set of Eyes, unlike ninjas. On the other hand they have no tolerance for the song Marukaite Chikyuu (4) being sung thirty times in a row, and that was how she escaped.

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Yes. I know. This is turning into more of a contest to see how many references I can jam in. Fortunately for you readers who hate that crap, this is the last chapter I'm doing it in. Mainly because the second reference is probably going to be jumped on very, very fast.

Thank you to all the people who put me on story alert and fav'd!

NarutoxTemarixKyuubi- You really don't have to. It's an obscure, obscure reference. But, the book is awesome, I just want to see how many people had read it. Thanks for reviewing!

Peaceofmindalchemist- thank you! It's not that great, and I should've crammed a few more jokes in, but oh well.