I apologize for the time skips. I just can't stand staying in one place for too long. The heights and such are based off research, since I do not own a copy of Death Note: How To Read. The website says that the heights and such are from that, though, so whatever. Oh, and for the record, due to the fact that I am eating strawberry ice-cream and will be writing this well into the late hours of night and early hours of the morning, it will hopefully be long. Well… Shit. Just spilt ice-cream down my shirt. Failure. Well, on with the story!

Warning: spoilers, romance, death and whatnot, and possible need for changing the rating. If I should, could someone tell me?

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

Alone

***

Waking up two hours after she had fallen asleep, B looked around. She lay beside Near, in Mello's bunk of the bed. Matt and Mello had fallen asleep in the bottom bunk. She heard Mello's familiar faint snoring, and Matt's deep breathing. Being careful not to jostle Near in the small twin-sized bed, she leaned over the side, practically hanging. That suddenly reminded her of Beyond Birthday, a thought that she pushed away at that moment. She watched her small family sleep, Matt and Mello in similar clothing, like they wore during their childhood. Mello's bags under his eyes were darker than she had noticed the night before. Despite the scars, he looked so peaceful, like the past 13 years had never happened. A heartbreaking pity washed over her for the orphans that remained, and for her small family, broken apart, but with a new member. Roger, Mello and Near's father, just like Watari was L's. And mine… B thought, feeling lost, like she did when she was a child, the day before Quillsh Wammy had found her.

Tears blurred her vision momentarily, before she blinked them away, feeling childish. She leaned back slowly, sitting up on the bed. Sighing quietly, she lay back down, before lying on her side. She closed her eyes for a moment, before looking into silvery eyes. Her eyes widened slightly, not expecting Near to be awake.

The knowing, pitying look in his eyes made her cry. In a strange show of compassion, he wrapped his arms around her, shushing her until the sun came up. Slowly, she got out of bed when she was sure Near had fallen asleep again. He sighed softly, still asleep, and rolled over. Slowly and silently, she made her way out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

***

The cold of the winter bit at her face, waking her up as fresh snow fluttered down around her. The world seemed to be stuck on mute in the large expanse of the lawn at Wammy's House. Everyone was still asleep on the Sunday morning. Who would be awake at the crack of dawn? No one, here. That was all in her plan.

She held the calla lilies in her hand, the fragrant scent swirling around her, intoxicating. The small, bright spots of color in the center of the lilies seemed the brightest source of color in the scheme of gray, white, deep red, and the darker green of the surrounding forest. B walked barefoot, wearing just a white dress that went to her knees, making her blend with her surroundings ghostly. It floated around her dreamily. Her blonde hair went to the middle of her back, swirling around her in the light wind, her skin seeming to be bleached of color. Her face was calm, close to serene, showing no emotion. Her dark eyes held it all, the stormy blue showing her depression that weighed so heavily upon her.

She walked through the slight opening in the trees, her bare feet numb on the hard forest ground. Making her way across the barely noticeable path, she found the clearing that held the small graveyard. Snow fell lightly, dusting the ground with the powdery sheet. She hadn't ever visited here before; Roger hadn't wanted anyone to attend the funeral of his friend. B stared quietly at the graves that held Watari and L, then looked around, viewing the graves that would hold Mello, Near, Matt, and Roger. Brushing her hair out of her face as it came loose of the neat pins, she saw another stone. Another grave? For whom…? She wondered as she came closer, her eyes widening in surprise. Hers. My grave… Will I deserve to be buried here…? She knelt down, her dress dragging slightly in the snow. She crawled over to Watari's grave, L's right beside it. She sat in between them, mulling her thoughts over. She held the flowers in her cold hands, as she paled gradually the longer she remained in the snow. Feeling like a child, but looking more like a woman than ever before, she grieved for them, her tears sliding warm down her numb cheeks, freezing as they hit the ground. She spoke to them for hours, the sky not getting much lighter. Snow came down the same as it had been, but the world still seemed to be on mute. Her catatonic state remained unnoticed by her, communicating with her beloved deceased members of her family in her head. Soon enough, that was over too. She just sat in the snow, her dress pooling around her as the snow kept falling, well into the afternoon. She looked at her wrist in her peripheral vision, remembering that she had put a watch there. 5:47. Everything was still silent, as she was near 5 miles away from the school itself. B's tracks would be long gone by now, covered by the new layers of snow. She felt like she was floating, hypothermia finally setting in during the dreary Winchester weather. Nothing reached her in her catatonic state, the world remaining on mute only for her. She remained alone.

A cracking sounded of like a gunshot, seeming much too close, but she didn't move. I really don't want to go yet, Watari… She thought dreamily, still feeling like she was floating

"B." A much familiar voice spoke from behind her, sounding very relieved despite the steady monotone. She didn't move just yet, but saw that it was dark. When did this happen? She mused, a smile coming onto her face, barely noticeable. Something heavy and dark was draped onto her, over her shoulders. She looked back at the 17 year old, realizing that today was her birthday. Well, I guess this was a good place to be then. Dreading a birthday shouldn't be so unreasonable. I'd rather not celebrate being closer to dying. "Oh. So this is where you have been all day?" She didn't blink, but continued staring at Near. She looked back at the graves, apologizing quietly, to Near, Watari, and L. He sat next to her, the slightly taller boy hunching over. B looked at the calla lilies, still clasped between her hands, now covered with snow. She blew it off of them gently before planting them at their graves. Near pulled the black fur blanket around the both of them, staying close to her for warmth. Her head rested on his shoulder. Suddenly, he went stiff, and placed a hand on her forehead before withdrawing it quickly. Somehow, he scooped her up into his arms. She was light, height only 4'10"— two inches shorter than him. B looked at him in shock at the sudden show of strength before the floating feeling came back. He took her out of her new sacred place.

"Goodbye, Watari… Goodbye, L…" She called out, nearly inaudibly. Near looked down at her in confusion, before a look of understanding came over his face. He ran with her in his arms, back to Wammy's House.

***Mello***

"Where the hell is she?" Anger masked his confusion and worry quite well, as he paced around the room, taking aggravated bites of a chocolate bar, pulling back the curtain by the window and looking out every once in a while. "I come back for her fucking birthday, but she isn't here…"

Matt watched as his best friend paced around the room, the orange lenses on his goggles reflecting the light of the lamp on the bedside table. His Nintendo DS sat beside him on the bed as he wrung his gloved hands, staring intently at the window. "Near said he went to look for her, man… Just wait; they have to be here soon…" Concern showed plainly in his voice, contradicting the blank, lost, puppy-dog look that had been on his face since around noon. Mello looked out the window again, then gasped, dropping his chocolate. Grabbing Matt for a moment by his arm, the 18 year olds ran to Near as he carried the small girl.

***

B was half asleep, clinging to the albino as he whispered soothing words to her, all about staying awake, or something of the sort, she assumed. Mello ran into them, taking B from Near's arms. She was bewildered, to say the least. Why so much commotion? A smile broke onto her face, very small, but present. She yawned. Tired… Mello shook her a bit as he ran. Oh, shit. What did I do this time? She groaned mentally. They were in the infirmary. Mello laid her gently on a bed as Matt ran to get a nurse. Near crawled onto the bed beside her. Gently brushing her hair and melted snow out of her face, he looked her in the eyes. "This better not become a habit for you. I won't always be here, you know, and neither will Near, or Matt." She blacked out shortly after that.

***

L's back! L! He's here! L's home! The small children shouted around her, running to the library where he was. The 14 year old girl, older than most of the children, walked alone through the crowd. Near was already beside L, Mello dragging Matt through the children so they could sit at his other side. She was… happy, to say the least. Watari was in Roger's office, catching up with his old friend, but she was sure that they'd join them eventually. B stood behind all the children that crowded by L, everyone itching to get nearer, to talk to their mentor. She leaned against the entrance, observing. L's eyes seemed exhausted, just as they had the last time, but somehow worse. Like they had seen too much, and just wanted to rest. The bags under his eyes had worsened, darker than last time. Oddly, throughout all the sadness that surrounded him, he looked utterly relaxed, seeming happy. His charcoal eyes connected with her sapphire ones. She mouthed 'welcome home'. He smiled.

-

B looks well. Older than the last time I had seen her, and she had given me those sleeping pills. I should thank her for that. And for contacting Watari, telling him that she had mailed us the plain tickets. I still don't know how she had done that, or found out where our residence is in Japan, L thought. He looked around, seeing Near swirling his hair around his index finger, sitting beside the plush chair L sat in next to the fireplace. Mello fought his was through the sea of children, chocolate bar in one hand, Matt in the other. He scowled upon seeing Near already sitting beside him, but looked up at L happily. The 16 year olds acted immature, just happy to see their mentor, their predecessor. It showed all over their faces, even in Matt and Near's. They looked around, frowning for a moment, before looking to where L looked. There she is. L waved her over, making the smaller children look back at her. Sighing, B made her way over, hugging L once she got to him. He hugged back lightly, never being one for compassion. She sat in front of him, looking up at his face.

He answered the orphan's questions with a sense of pride and conviction until Watari and Roger came in. They made a small show of celebrating L's 25th birthday, albeit a few months late. They led everyone to the dining hall, sitting everyone down and sharing multiple cakes and sweets in honor of the detective. After the small celebration died down, the children went off to bed. Mello, Matt, Near, and B followed L back to his room, for a much needed discussion.

Once inside, L sat in his chair in his usual crouch, turning to see B sitting on the floor beside Near, watching him make a tower out of matches, and Mello and Matt sitting on his bed. Mello watched the man intently, as Matt played a game on a PSP. They all looked up, looking attentively up at L as he cleared his throat. "As you all know, I have been working hard on the Kira case. We have a subject that I am sure is Kira, so you must be well aware of him." He handed them a picture of a chestnut-haired Japanese teenager, the bottom of the picture labeled Yagami, Light. B stared at it for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter, pointing at the photograph. Matt chuckled lightly, understanding the reaction. Mello, Near, and L, however, sat dumbstruck, staring at the laughing girl. "What?" She asked through her laughter. "You can't tell me that this pretty-boy's name didn't make you laugh. Come on, his name is I'm a gay!" B quieted down a little, giggling occasionally. Matt and Mello then started laughing, short after examining the photograph and the name. L smiled slightly.

"Remember that he is dangerous. Use only your alias around him, or maybe even a new one. Trust no one that is not from this House." L told them. They all nodded. B looked at him for a moment longer. "L," She started calmly, "What is your name, anyway? You know ours." She said, gesturing to each person in the room in turn. He looked at them warily, but somehow, trust lay in the back of his eyes, before his expression returned to the blank, bored look he kept at hand. "My name… is L Lawliet. But remember, Rose, Mail, Nate, Mihael. Tell no one of your name. Nor of mine. Yet, I am sure that I won't live through this case. You will have to take over in due time." B jumped up at that point. "You can't say you expected me to live through the Kira case, B. I honestly don't think I will even solve it. In fact, I don't expect to live through the next two weeks." B paled considerably, and Mello was left in a state of shock. Matt and Near remained frozen, not even trying to move. All you could hear at that point was the sound of Matt's game, the sound of him dying.

B and L could only hear the bells, singing their funeral toll.

***

Tears slid down B's cheeks, but she didn't open her eyes, still absorbed in the dream, the memory.

"Is she awake?" The gamer's voice asked, sounding concerned. Her theory was correct as she felt him playing with her fingers, a nervous habit he had picked up. "Why is she crying?" He spoke quietly, so B assumed that Mello and Near were in the room, but asleep.

"I'm sure it is just the fever. It happens sometimes. I don't believe she is awake, Matt. I'm sorry. She should be awake in the next few hours or so. Don't worry." She hear the sound of the infirmary door being opened, and closing softly, leaving a small burst of wind in its wake. B kept breathing deeply, keeping her face somewhat relaxed. Tears continued their path down her face. A small splatter landed on her cheek, startling her. Opening her eyes, she saw Matt leaning over her, his auburn hair shining reddish in the light, covering his eyes from everyone but her. Seeing her dilated eyes look up at him, his soft lips covered her own. She placed one of her hands on his cheek, lengthening the kiss slightly before letting him go. He then whispered in her ear "Mello's birthday is coming up. He isn't staying until then. He's leaving today." She looked at the clock on the wall. 5:29. He wiped at his cheeks, blushing slightly before brushing away her tears. "Why were you crying, anyway?" He looked at her curiously, while she gave him a knowing look. "L." She murmured. Matt paled.

Mello walked up, rubbing at his eyes slightly before looking at the two. She felt Near crawl in beside her, curling by her form under the blankets. He sat down beside Matt, then spoke. "I'm guessing he already told you that I'm leaving today?" She nodded, feeling like there was more to this than they were telling her. He took a deep breath then, sighing. "Did he tell you that he is coming with me?"

Her already pale skin looked white at that moment. "No, he did not tell me that… You're leaving, too, aren't you Near?" He nodded, looking down. "I'm going to the USA. But I promise, I will make sure all of us come back when the Kira case is over." Near looked at her, his stoic calm fractured at that moment, a pleading expression begging her to understand. She took a deep breath. "If it makes you feel any better, Roger is staying. He wanted to come with me, but I told him… I thought you would need him more." Sadness shone through when he spoke of his fatherly figure being left behind. "Besides, I thought you would need help running this place. Watari's will said he left Wammy's House to you and L." B's eyes widened in surprise.

"I wasn't aware of this. Are the kids staying?" They looked towards the door, watching Roger come in. She repeated the question. "Are the kids staying?"

Roger answered her. "Most of them are. Some of them had been adopted. They were the lower ranking kids. They looked happy, and the people that had adopted them are very nice, very stable. I made sure they'd be safe, but we also must keep tabs on them." He told her, getting straight to the point. "Alright. Thank you, Roger. For now, I'd like to be getting back to my own room." Getting up, she noticed she had been changed into clothes similar to the ones she had worn when she had last been put in the infirmary. She took Matt's gloved hand and kissed everyone's cheek before taking him with her to say goodbye properly.

***

She lay in bed with Matt's sleeping form, thinking about what had just happened. Looking at the clock on her nightstand, she could see that it was 5:01 p.m.; a little less than three hours until he had to go, along with Mello and Near. There's no way we can all survive this… she thought suddenly, with a rush of despair. Near has to, though. He's better than all of us. He'll make it, I know he will. She thought with conviction. He'd make it out alright. Hopefully, all of us will. We can't leave Roger like this. B sighed softly as Matt's naked form rolled over, slightly on top of hers. He looked like a puppy, with disheveled hair and no goggles, for once. She stroked his hair absentmindedly, still thinking. I know that they know what we were doing, but it shouldn't matter. It would be hypocritical if little Mihael went all big brother on me for this. It isn't like he's a virgin. I've heard him tell Matt this himself. She laughed quietly, thinking about how they should really check their room for bugs. Looking around her own room, she knew there was no bugs; she checked on a daily basis. However, it was quite dirty, with all the wires and equipment for the Kira case strewn all over the floor and thrown haphazardly onto the ground.

They'll be looking for us soon, she thought sadly, as Matt moved a little in his sleep. His head rested upon her breasts, his arm wrapped around her waist. Her soft blanket covered their naked bodies. Matt, you look so peaceful, love… She thought wearily, not wanting to wake him up, but knowing that she'd have to. Shaking him gently, she sat up, pulling him with her. Matt jumped, startled at the awakening, and fell off the bed. Wow. B started laughing, pulling the blanket around her. She smiled as his ruffled auburn hair came into view, with him muttering groggily. Getting on all fours, with one arm holding the blanket around her breasts, she kissed him lightly on the lips before walking into her bathroom, dropping the blanket in the room, beside the bathroom door.

***Matt***

She is so beautiful…

***

B watched as the boys got in the sleek black limousine that was parked outside Wammy's. She stood at the open door, a blanket around her, just outside the snow's reach that added to the blanket of white on the ground. A matron stood beside her, keeping her company and out of the snow. Their luggage was all in the trunk, with another small car of their luggage following behind them, mainly consisting of Mello's leather, Near's pajamas and toys and trinkets, Matt's games and clothes, and some of Roger's things for his flight with Near. Each of them had a small present from B, unbeknownst to them, as she had hidden it deep in their clothes when they had left the room. She wrapped an arm around herself, remembering her time spent with Matt earlier that day. Just as she thought that, his eyes met with hers just before he slid into the limo, Mello and Near already bickering inside. There was a decisive look in his eyes, as his goggles stayed on his forehead, exposing the shining dark emerald. He mouthed 'I love you' to her, for the first time. [1] She smiled. It was there, just enough for him too see. Tears ran down her cheeks. So emotional lately; too much stress, she thought quietly, mouthing 'I love you too' back to Matt. She tried to run to him; a failed attempt, as the matron held her back.

When Matt got in the car, all the boys leaned out of the window and waved to her. B waved back, smiling at them. Matt's goggles were back in place, Near's favorite robot was in his hand, and Mello was eating his chocolate, his scarred face grinning. She waved, even when Watari's old limousine had left the gate. It turned the corner, the matron's hand still on her shoulder.

B sank to the ground, her face in her hands. No tears this time. Just shaking. The matron patted her shoulder for a while, until it became dark, and she led the young girl inside, to the children. This place was hers. It was her duty to take care of them.

***

She curled up in L's favorite plush chair by the fireplace in the library with one of her favorite books. Nothing school related. She deemed herself bright enough to take a break for now. B needed that much, for she is only human. The subtle roar and crackle of the fire in the large fireplace warmed her and provided a good background noise. She looked at the clock on the wall. 10:57 p.m. She heard a small pattering sound, coming ever closer, slightly distracting her from her book. Folding the page and closing the book, B looked up from her curled up position on the oversized chair. A small girl walked closer, a steady look in the deep caramel eyes that lay on her face, dark brown, almost black hair framing her face nicely. The girl… F. That was her. Fate. B set down her book on the side of her chair, smiling at the 5 year old girl. She could have had such a nice life… I'll make sure she does, somehow. She was too young to even know who L was, too young to comprehend the idea of the world's three greatest detectives and his successors at age 2. B thought in a deep recess of her expansive mind. The little girl smiled at the inheritor of Wammy's House as she climbed onto B's lap, wearing pale blue footy pajamas.

"Shouldn't you be asleep, Fate?" B murmured, a smile in her tired voice, German accent rougher than usual from the stress. She preferred not to call the children by letters, to let them feel more human. Roger had wanted to close the orphanage, but that had not been his decision to make. However, I had said not to get any extra letters for children we already have until they are 18. Fate's words jolted her out of her train of thought.

"I suppose I should be, but obviously, I am not." B laughed at the word choice, softly though. Quite intellectual for a 5 year old… Reminds me of Near… She remembered, cringing slightly, that now that Matt, Mello, and Near were gone, she was 1st in running. To succeed who, she did not know yet. I suppose it would be to succeed whoever died first. "Well now, how could I help you?" B asked curiously. This child had piqued her interest.

"I couldn't sleep. Would you be able to help me?"

B studied the small child. Shadows were under her eyes, making them seem somewhat panda-like, looking somewhat like L or Near. B scooped her up, setting the small Russian child on her lap. "I will help you, little love." She stroked Fate's shoulder-length hair, softly singing a German lullaby to her. It was midnight when the little girl finally fell asleep.

The embers from the fireplace lit the room dimly with a warm red glow. With the little girl still asleep, B carefully set more wood in the fireplace. Shadows played across the plush chairs and towering bookshelves. It still snowed outside, an act that showed through the windows, since the blood-red curtains hanging around them were not shut. Books and puzzles were strewn about the library, along with various toys from the younger kids. Near had taken all of his toys along with him, except for a bear that he had given B. It sat on her bed. Small tables held notebooks and pens, with a couple of computers lined against the walls. The fireplace remained the only source of light, with the stars and moon blocked out by the heavy clouds making their rounds about the skies, depositing snow in their wake. The sleeping house was quite, albeit the crackling of wood in the fireplace and the deep breathing of the young girl. A lovely house to reside in, indeed, but very lonely when you got down to the base of things. Nothing was near the house, except for wide evergreen forests that stretched for miles. A place made so that, when one brilliant mind died, another could replace it. A large house that revolved around death and studies. Paintings lined the walls, all made by the children in art class; some of the artists still resided at the House, others long gone. Her eyes roamed the room, drinking in her first real sight of what the house was. [2]

Her heart sank.

She closed her eyes. Upon opening them, she saw Beyond Birthday's painting he had made years ago, when he was 16. Beautiful, yet horrible. Quite abstract, a mirage of dark colors that voiced the despair in the house. Only he had really understood that, along with what real pressure could do to a man, to a child. Now she was alone. Now B understood, too. Picking up F in her arms, she took the girl, and the painting, and left the library.

The embers burned red, dimly lighting the room, burning to ashes long before sunrise.

***

I'll admit, this is my longest chapter, even with the long author's notes. 4,775 words, including the author's notes. I am currently at the end of the 8th page, and had started this chapter around 10 a.m. today. Not quite sure about the accuracy. I apologize for that. You will learn Fate's purpose in the next chapter. Foreshadowing. Dun dun dunnnnnn.

1: Oh, so cheesy; damn romantic shit. Couldn't help it. I had to put that in there.

2: My English teacher would be so proud of me if she saw that paragraph.