Cause You Break Me Down Chapter 7: You're Lucky If Your Memory Remains, a twilight fanfic

Not mine :(

The sun shone down on the group the next morning. The waves crashed together. A bird tapped it's nose on Jasper's face. He swatted it away turning over.

"Five more minutes Mr. Cheeseburger..." He whispered. Rosalie was passed out literally on top of Emmett them both snoring away. Jake was buried in a heap of blankets, his foot the only thing sticking out. Bella's head was resting on Edward's chest, his cheek resting on top of her head as his arms were wrapped around her thin waist, them both breathing quietly. The bird pecked Jasper's ass and he bolted up quickly screaming in pain.

"FUCKING ASS WHAT THE FUCK WHO DID THAT!?" Jasper yelled tiredly. he looked around and covered his eyes from the bright sunlight. Stupid hangover. He saw all his friends passed out. He grabbed empty alcohol bottles and threw them at everyone.

"What the fuck man!?" Emmett bolted up holding his head and glaring at Jasper.

"Where the fuck--why are we on the God damned beach?" Emmett questioned. Jasper shrugged and went to wake everyone up. He smiled as he looked at a sleeping Edward and Bella. They were cuddling and looked so cute.

"Edward. Bella wake up, come on guys. Wake up." Jasper tapped their shoulders. Edward opened his eyes slowly and groaned before looking at Jasper. He cuddled closer to Bella.

"We need to get going Edward." Jasper stated. He nodded and Jasper crawled back over to his original spot. Bella was gripping Edward's shirt tightly in her hands. Edward rubbed her lower back as he kissed the top of her head. He remembered everything last night. He remembered it all. Only question was...did she? Bella smiled up at him as her bright green eyes looked up at him. Edward smiled back. Memories from last night flooded her mind. Her stripping. Her and Edward making out. She remembered it all. But she couldn't let Edward know that. She's only just met him. Two weeks ago. That's all it took to fall in love with him. But she's scared. She can't handle it. She's going to act like it never happened. Like she doesn't remember. It may hurt Edward, but she's not ready yet.

"Morning Edward." She whispered softly. Her eyes scanned the bruises she had left on his neck. She was sure there were quite a few on hers as well. Edward played with her hand.

"Morning, sleep ok?" He asked her. She nodded and yawned. No hangover. He didn't have one either. He was scared to ask her. Scared to find out her reaction.

"Do you remember last night?" Edward said bluntly. She arched an eye-brow and bit her bottom lip. Her hands rested on his chest and he saw the hesitance in her eyes. Please don't lie. Please don't lie. Edward just kept muttering that to himself.

"I remember getting naked and you and Jasper making out. That was pretty damn sexy." She giggled. He bit his lip.

"Do you remember anything else?" He questioned. He needed to know. Edward bit his bottom lip. She remembered. He could see it. Question is, would she have the guts to admit it? He knew she was scared and didn't believe in love, but he's seen the way she is with him. He felt it all last night. Rosalie told him, told him how Bella is different around him. She had to have felt it. Bella felt so bad for having to lie to him. But she was protecting him. Breaking his heart wasn't what she wanted. She wanted him to be happy. He wouldn't be happy with her...she's never had a boyfriend. She wouldn't know what to do. Or how to handle him. Edward saw all this hesitation in her eyes. She wasn't going to tell the truth.

"I um...I don't remember. I'm sorry." Bella wanted to cry. She hated herself for doing this to him. He would hate her now. She couldn't accept that. Edward knew she was lying. In the way she stuttered it was revealed. In the way she hesitated it was revealed. But he couldn't help but feel disappointed. He felt it all. He knew she felt the same way. He also knew she was scared. She couldn't deny it.

"Oh...ok. Well um we should get up." Edward muttered. She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead lovingly. He got chills and he puts his hands on her arms. The way she cradled his head, the way her lips puckered on his skin, it all felt right. He couldn't help but smile to himself. Bella and him stood up and the gang headed to Jim's. The gang sat at a big table, Edward sat close to Bella his head resting on her shoulder. She cradled his head once again, running her fingers through his hair gently and kissing his head every once in a while. Everyone thought it was so cute, the two didn't even realize everyone looking at them. It was as if it was just them in the room. Bella felt guilty for lying...but she knew it was for the best. She couldn't even tell Edward about her past. Her abusive father. Her dead brother. Her own alcoholic and depressed lifestyle. How could she have a relationship when she couldn't even admit that? Edward knew she was hiding things. But he also knew she needed time to gain his trust. She wasn't going to just open up like a book. She was going to be a chase. A challenge.

And Edward was more game then ever to win her over. To open her heart and experience the most wonderful gift life can give you a chance at. He was determined to capture her.

"Edward man you seem distracted, what's going on?" Jasper asked Edward as they sat in Edward's bedroom one on one playing guitar for a new song Edward had been working on. He wrote it about Bella. Edward sighed, he couldn't lie to Jasper. It had been three weeks since the beach incident. Everyone pretty much forgot about it but Edward couldn't get his mind off of Bella. About what they had done. When he was with her he tried to ignore it but it was always in the back of his head. Why wouldn't she just admit she likes him?

"You remember the night we all went to the beach three weeks ago?" Edward questioned. Jasper nodded and tuned his strings a bit.

"Yeah why?" Jasper was confused, what was bothering Edward so much about that night. Edward bit his bottom lip. How was he going to tell his friend?

"I um...when everyone got really drunk after Emmett did his truth...I um started kissing Bella's neck and it led to us having a full blown on make out session. We were so close to sleeping together man. She was so gone, but I had to stop her. I couldn't take advantage of her like that. But she wanted to, she was tempting me. And then she passed out but the next morning, I asked her if she remembered...she lied to me and said she didn't. But there was hesitance in her tone and the way she stuttered, I knew she was lying." Edward explained. Jasper scratched his jaw and looked at the hurt expression on his friends face. He really fell fast for her. Poor thing.

"Edward man that's rough. I'm sorry, but you know Bella is just scared. There's something there, she cares about you and I think you've managed to open up her eyes. But that kind of stuff scares her. She's never had a boyfriend. She's never seen a loving relationship. You can't expect her to believe in love. But you can prove to her that it exists." Jasper replied. Edward played with his fingers and nodded his head.

"I love her man...I feel it. Nothing like I ever felt with Lisa...this is a whole new experience. A whole new feeling. But I'm jumping in with two feet because I want to risk it. She's worth it. I feel it." He said. Jasper back clapped his friend before smiling.

"Finish the song, I have some shit to finish right now myself. I'll catch you tomorrow, BBQ at mine." Jasper and Edward shared a hug before Jasper left. Edward sat on his bed, looking down at his notebook and finishing the first lyric.

"Time to lay claim to the evidence
Fingerprints sold me out
But our footprints washed away from the docks downtown
It's been getting late for days
And I think myself deserving of a little time off
We can kick it here for hours
And just mouth off about the world
And how we know it's going straight to hell

Pass me another bottle, honey
The Jager's so sweet
But if it keeps you around then I'm down

Meet me on Thames Street
I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time
In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough
Because the tension's like a fire
We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes
And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line
Fall in the grave I've been digging myself
But there's room for two Six feet under the stars
I should have known better than to call you out
(On a night like this, a night like this)
If not for you, I know I'd tear this place to the ground
(But I'm alright like this, alright like this)
I'm gonna roll the dice before you sober up and get gone
(I'm always in over my head)

Time to lay claim to the evidence
Fingerprints sold me out
But our footprints washed away
I'm guilty, but I'm safe for one more day
Overdressed and underage (what a let down)
"Do you really need to see an ID?"
This is embarrassing as hell (what a let down)
But I can cover for it so well
When we're six feet under the stars

Thames Street
I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time
In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough
Because attention's like a fire
We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes
And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line
Fall in the grave I've been digging myself
But there's room for two
Six feet under the stars
(woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah)
Six feet under the stars
Six feet under the stars" Edward smiled, complete. It's finished. He nodded his head before beginning to tune his guitar and strumming away, singing to himself softly.

Jasper Whitlock managed to grow some courage and walk all the way to Rose's place from Edward's. It was about a fifteen minute walk if he took his time. Which he did. He walked up the from door and rang the doorbell. Rose's mom answered it.

"Oh hello Jasper, the three of them are upstairs in Rosalie's room." She stated. Jasper thanked her before heading upstairs and to the right knocking on Rosalie's door.

"Come in!" She yelled. He walked in and saw Rosalie painting Bella's toes black and Emmett watching Blink 182 videos.

"Hey Jasper! What's up?" Rosalie asked with a smile.

"Not much, Bella want to take a walk with me?" Jasper turned his attention to Bella. She smiled before nodding her head and getting up from the bed just as Rosalie finished off her last toe.

"Don't mess them up! They look perfect! Wear my flip flops." Rosalie said pointing to the flip flops. Bella slipped them on and hugged Rosalie and Emmett before Jasper grabbed Bella's hand and they walked out together. Interlocked hands but not interlocked fingers, not like Edward and Bella.

"So where are we going?" She questioned Jasper. She had no idea what he wanted to take a walk with her for but she didn't mind. It was fine to her. They walked to the boardwalk and Jasper bought them ice cream. Strawberry for him and chocolate chip for her. They headed towards the crashing waves that were below them and they stood next to each other leaning on the bars.

"So what's up Jasper? What'd you want to talk about?" Bella wanted to know why he wanted to talk to her. What was so important? Jasper bit hit bottom lip, he was concerned for both his friends. He had grown to love and adore Bella in the short time she had been apart of their group. In five weeks she captured the hearts of all the boys in the group. They cared for her like a little sister. Well...of course except for Edward, who had fallen head over heels in love with her. Jasper just wanted them to be happy, he knew they wouldn't be happy unless they admitted to each other about their pasts.

"Listen Bells, I love you a lot. You're one of my closest friends and totally a baby sister to me. I care about you. And Edward is the greatest friend I've ever known. He's totally content with life and happy go lucky. But you've changed him. I've never seen him fall so fast for a girl before. You have this effect on him, he won't ever bounce back. He's hurt because you won't open up. He's upset because he loves you and you won't let him in. Why is that?" Jasper stated this all bluntly. He tried to walk into it, but it was too late. He dove right for the goal. Right for the in depth answers. Bella didn't know what to say. She was completely speechless. How could he ask this of her when she wouldn't even tell Edward? As far as she knew Rosalie and Emmett only knew, and Emmett didn't know it all.

"Jasper I...I don't understand. Where is this...why? Why do you need to know? Can't we just drop it?" Bella was panicking. She didn't want to tell him. It hurt too much to talk about the past.

"No we can't avoid this any longer Bells. We know things happened to you, things were hard for you. But we don't know what. You can trust me. I promise you that. I'm here, so open up." He replied. Bella shook her head, her ice cream melting. Tears stung her eyes and she felt like she couldn't breathe.

"I can't! I don't want to remember any of it! I don't even know how I survived! I don't know why I lived and he died! Ok!? I don't know! And I hate myself for not being there for him like I should have! But I was so young, so vulnerable and so unaware!" Bella screamed and threw her ice cream. She ran her hands through her hair frustratedly and let her tears slip. Jasper's jaw dropped. What happened? He's getting close. He needs her to tell him. Needs to know why she won't fall for his best friend. He grabbed Bella's shoulders tightly in his hands and she squirmed back and forth beating on his skinny chest.

"Leave me alone Jasper! I don't want to talk about it! Just leave me the fuck alone! None of you deserve to know! None of you need to know! Just leave it be!" Bella was sobbing and Jasper just pulled her closer letting her her head rest on his shoulder as they sunk to the ground. Bella gave up fighting. She needed a friend. She wanted Edward, needed him. Jasper was here now though. She gripped his shirt and buried her face in his shoulder shaking and crying.

"Oh God Jazzy! I don't deserve to be alive! Not after what I did! Not after what happened!" Jasper ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. She was screaming and holding her tightly.

"What happened? Bella, you have to tell me. You have to fucking tell me, I need to know." Jasper was holding her face. She was quivering and her body wracked heavily with sobs.

"My brother committed suicide! My father abused me and him! I almost died because of how bad it was! My brother hung himself in his closet one day because it was too much! My father blamed me for it! Blamed me for killing his own son! Told me I was a mistake and that I was pathetic! Said he hated me! I got so heavy into depression I stopped eating and I started drinking and hooking up with random guys! I don't believe in love because of all of that! Love killed my brother! Love doesn't exist! That's why my father always hurt me! Always hurt my mom! It's all bullshit! And I can't hurt Edward like this! I can't be with him, it will hurt him too much!" Bella admitted. Jasper's heart broke at her confession. He had no idea. His little Bella? The happy and bright fun loving confident girl who loved to fucking eat? This tiny little girl was broken, and in the worst way. How was Edward going to take this?

"But you love him Bella. I know you do, I see it in your eyes and in the way you act with him you do love him you do-"

"But Jasper! My love will just hurt him! He doesn't know about my past! He'd hate me! Things wouldn't work! I am scared of my feelings! I'm scared of the butterflies he gives me. I'm scared of the fucking heart beat my heart pumps at when he smiles at me. I'm scared of the chills and goose bumps that rise on my skin when he touches me! I can't do it! I can't hurt him!" Bella held onto him tightly and Jasper just rocked her back and forth. What was Edward going to think?

Edward sat on the floor of his bedroom rocking back and forth and crying his eyes out. His hair was a mess and a bottle of Vodka lay next to him. He had already drinking three. He had a nightmare. The day his brother died. The day his brother left the earth. The day his brother committed suicide and abandoned Edward. He blames himself. It was his fault. He killed his brother. If he hadn't been such a fucking ass his brother wouldn't have been crying for attention. Edward hated himself. Bella could never love a person like him.

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