Chapter5. Katie's Song.
I sat in bed with a case of depression. My eyes were red and sore from a night of relentless cries out of heart ach and pain. My mum was use to it by now. It had been a year since the day. Every day it got worse and worse. Angelo kept trying to speak but I just kept shutting him out. I haven't talk to anyone since last week. I don't want to talk to anyone. I even shut Alice out. The only person I could ever hope to be able to let all this shit out. But I couldn't bring my self to see her eyes full of pity. Her eyes full of pity for me. I would lose it. And I couldn't let Alice see me like that. I did it all the time after Katie died, but I hadn't done it in weeks. Until last week. That was the worst, except the night of her funeral. I picked up my pad and writ a song that had lingered in my mind since that fateful night.
I wrote as fast and as neat as I possibly could. I raced into my car and speed toward Forks High. I needed to open up to Alice. I don't care what I just said. I needed Alice right now. I want Alice and I always will. I swerved into the car park and parked next to Mike Newton's car. I rushed out the car and slammed the door it echoed throughout the empty park. I was late. I rushed to P.E and stormed in. I knew my face looked like hell, well everything probably looked like hell. I went straight to the change room and got into my gym cloths. I come out and every body gave me a quizzically look. I glanced over at Alice and walked toward her. Her face brightened up in hope. But, instead of talking to her I grabbed her and lead her toward the outside of the gym. Class would be over in about five minuets I didn't care I just needed her to understand.
'Jasper, what are you doing?' her voice come out in a squeak.
'Something I should've done a long time ago. Tell you my past' I whispered the last part with pain clearly in my voice. I sat Alice down on a broken tree log and I knelt before her. Her face was confused and worried, but no signs of pity good. I breathed in a sharp and long breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. I let it all spill out. Alice's face and eye's grew sadder and sadder as my story meet Katie's fate. Alice's eyes moved from the ground up to my eyes, but unlike I thought, there was no pity in them just tears pouring down her face. She jumped into my arms and kept saying my name over and over.
'Alice? I wrote a song, I was wondering if you would listen to it. It's, it's for Katie' my voice cracked on her name.
'Of course Jasper!!' her face looked up and her eyes meet mine. I sat up and placed her tiny figure on the tree log once again. I run back into the gym. I felt stares on my back, but just ignored them. I grabbed my guitar and run back to Alice. I was aware of people following me but, I just couldn't bring myself not to sing this song. It was for Katie. And I loved her and will love her until the end of time.
I pushed my hair out of my eyes and began, giving my heart back to Katie.
I saw the rain fall down today,
Watch lightning crash through skies of grey,
Why can't life just be polite, and wait...
I saw the lights outside your house,
Red lights cut like nothin' else,
The scene of a silent cry for help
How are we supposed to do this?
If everyone we love, still lets us down,
If you're there, can you hear me now?
No matter how hard I try,
Can't get you out of my mind,
Wish I could be there to help you say goodbye
Don't hold it inside, 'cause what's left can be right,
What's left can be right
I saw the sky go black today,
I felt your tears, and ached your pain,
It's hard to tell how much this changed,
How you see everything
And all I can do is pray,
That you don't take the blame,
'Cause it's not your fault, that it happened this way,
Happened this way
How are we supposed to do this?
If everyone we love, still lets us down,
If you're there, can you hear me now?
No matter how hard I try,
Can't get you out of my mind,
Wish I could be there to help you say goodbye
Don't hold it inside, 'cause what's left can be right,
What's left can be right.
I felt tears flood down my face. I looked up to Alice and saw her eyes pouring. Her breath came in quick gasps. Her eyes were red and looked very sore. I wiped away her tears just for them to be replaced by new ones. I could her sniffles from behind me. I couldn't hold it in anymore. My voice broke and my breaths came out in painful and heartbreaking sobs. I leant into Alice's arms and she cradled me in them. I couldn't breath. She placed her head on mine and tried to regain composure. Her breathing became controlled but not even. I couldn't seem to stop my cries. I just let it all out. I don't know how long we sat there. But Alice let me cry myself out. Soon enough the whole school had gathered. I felt embarrassed and stupid. I tried to leave, but Alice just held me there. She knew how much I needed her right now. And she would be there as long as I needed her. I would do the same for her.