NOTE: This fanfic has been edited to make it better. The big edit is Waluigi's conversation with the cashier.
Toadette's New Look
As toads get older they tend to have changes in their appearances. This was especially the case for little Toadette. Around the ages of 12-15 a toad's cap will change color depending on their personality. Yes, you can call it a toad's version of puberty. For example if a toad is very smart and nerdy then they'll have a blue cap, but if he/she is very protective then he/she will have a brown cap like Toadsworth. The changes can happen overnight and sometimes the poor toad won't even be recognizable. Anyway, Toadette who was now 14 had this change. She woke up one Starday (that's the Mushroom Kingdom's version of Sunday) morning and discovered something when she was going to brush her teeth. She dropped her toothbrush and stared at her reflection. She now had a purple cap with pink spots, her hair was also a lighter purple. Her skin was brown and her eyes were blue. Her breasts were now visible of course they were smaller than Peach or Daisy's but you could notice them and they made her look like a teenager.
"Whoa! I look hot!" She claimed as she picked her up toothbrush washed it and began brushing her teeth. When she got out the bathroom she saw one of her friends a white capped and yellow spotted toad named Sam with the traditional yellow vest jumping up and down holding down there.
"Hey Sam," Sam didn't answer and just pushed her aside dashing into the bathroom. "What's his problem?" Toadette dusted herself off as Kyle a white capped and purple spotted toad with the traditional purple vest passed by.
"Um, excuse me miss. Have you seen a girl named Toadette? White, pink cap, white spots. She wants me to return her thirty coins and boy I don't wanna end up like Yoshi when he forgot to pay,"
'I didn't beat him up that badly did I? I visited him every other day in the hospital. These people will never let that go and Yoshi won't even talk to me anymore.'
"Kyle, it's me,"
"Who are you? I've never seen you around here. Are you new?"
"I'm Toadette,"
"Really? Wow, two Toadettes that's something you don't see everyday. Anyway, I'm talking about a different Toadette, you know what, forget it you probably don't know her. I'll see you later," Kyle said dashing off.
"What was that about? I mean, I know I look different but sheesh that Kyle sure knows how to be a dunce," Toadette said to herself going to her room. She got dressed in her usual outfit a pink dress, white pants and red vest. She looked in the mirror and frowned. "This outfit really doesn't do me justice. I'll have to wear a new one," Toadette took out a different outfit which was a pink shirt, purple vest with yellow lining, purple pants and pink shoes.
"I guess I'll go take a walk outside," She said as she went out the door. Meanwhile, Mario and Wario were playing checkers in the courtyard. Wario just double jumped Mario.
"Yeah baby! Now king me sucker!" Mario kinged him and then countered with a triple jump.
"Now you king me Fat Man!"
"YOU CHEATER!!" Wario snatched the board making all the pieces fly everywhere and began beating Mario on the head with it.
"I DIDN'T CHEAT!!!" Mario grabbed Wario by the collar and slammed him face up on the table smashing it in the process. "YOU'RE JUST A SORE LOSER!!!" Wario had gotten up and they were about to fight…again.
"Hi guys, what's the problem this time?" Toadette asked walking to the scene. Mario and Wario stopped in their tracks when the saw Toadette. Through Mario's eyes Toadette was surrounded by pink and red hearts and she was winking at him letting her hair flow in the breeze. Through Wario's eyes Toadette smiled sticking her tongue out cutely while holding the collar of her shirt with one finger acting like she was about to pull it down to reveal something good to him. In reality she was looking at them with a raise eyebrow.
"Um, uh, um, um, uh I gotta go now. BYE!!!" Mario and Wario said before dashing off leaving Toadette in the dust.
"Weirdos," She said walking off. Mario and Wario dashed behind the castle gates and peeked to look at Toadette.
"Who is that girl?" Mario asked.
"I don't know, but she sure is sexy! I wanna piece of that! Yeah baby!" Wario replied.
"I know, look at her smooth milk chocolate skin."
"And her breasts."
"Her warm smile that could melt the coldest ice."
"And her breasts."
"Her beautiful voice that could lure the foulest beasts to sleep."
"Did I mention her breasts? I want some of that! Yeah baby!"
"Goddammit Wario! Will you get some creativity?! All you said was 'And her breasts!' sheesh! Why do you keeping mentioning them?!"
"Man! Shut it you! I'm mentioning them, because I WANT THEM BOOBS!!! Yeah baby!" Wario began licking his lips and rubbing his hands.
"Gawd, you're such a perv! There's no way she'd want you! Besides I saw her first," Mario said rolling his eyes not wanting to know what Wario was thinking.
"We saw her at the same time, idiot and besides I'm the sexiest! She'll choose me over you any day!"
"Oh really? You wanna make a wager?"
"You're on! Let's see the loser has to um…"
"Paint all the girls' finger and toenails!" Mario said.
"Alright then sure! Let's do it! Yeah baby!!" Wario agreed. The two shook hands and got ready to impress Toadette. Toadette was gonna have the strangest day of her life.
Toadette was in Mush Lake feeding the Cheep-Cheeps while Mario, Luigi and Toad were spying in the bushes. Mario had asked them to help and they agreed, not willingly though. Mario threatened Luigi that he would post his entire diary on the Internet and told Toad he would tell Toadiko what happened between him and that koopa girl at the punch bowl at Peach's party.
"Okay, there she is," Mario told his companions.
"I don't know bro. She kinda looks familiar," Luigi said.
"Toad, you got the stuff?"
"Oh I got the stuff alright!" Toad said holding a bag.
"You nitwits ready to be humiliated?" Wario asked coming over. He was here only to see Mario fail.
"You are so losing this bet Wario! There's no way this plan can fail. Luigi do it now," Mario said. Luigi nodded and ran to the other side of the lake with the bag where Toadette can't see him. He took out a robotic blue Cheep-Cheep and placed it in the water and signaled to Mario.
"What are you doing anyway?" Wario asked.
"See that robot Cheep-Cheep? Well, it's filled with Cheep-Cheep-shaped chocolates and a note and when that girl tries to feed it, it'll give her the chocolates which she'll love and that's she'll read the note which tells her to look at me. Our eyes will meet and boom! I get a date with her and you get a date with Peach, Daisy, Birdo, Dixie and Tiny's toenails," Mario explained getting out the controls. He began piloting the robot chocolate filled Cheep-Cheep towards Toadette and it seemed his plan would be working until the robot began swimming off course.
"What the heck? What's going on?" Mario asked himself. Then he saw Blooper, who loved Cheep-Cheeps, wrestling with the robot.
"MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE!!!!" Blooper shouted trying to eat it. Luigi and Toad only stared as Wario was laughing loudly. Toadette didn't notice the scene as she was busy feeding the Cheep-Cheeps.
"NO! BLOOPER! STOP IT!!!" Mario shouted at the squid moving the control stick wildly but you couldn't get between a blooper and his meal. Blooper swam underwater and picked up a rock, came back and began beating the robot Cheep-Cheep with it. Mario knowing the controller was no use dove into the lake and swam after Blooper. He got to the scene and wrestled with Blooper.
"GET OFF OF ME YOU FAT PLUMBER!!! I SAW IT FIRST!!" Blooper shouted choking Mario. Mario pried Blooper off and punched him twice in the face. Blooper then beat Mario with the rock and Mario grabbed him, raised him overhead and slammed his back on his knee.
"YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!!! THIS AIN'T EVEN A REAL CHEEP-CHEEP!!!! IT'S A ROBOT!!!!"
"A ROBOT?"
"YEAH!"
"SO I CAN'T EAT IT?"
"YEAH!"
"Oh, well okay then. I'll see you later." Blooper said swimming out the pool and floating on his way. Mario checked his robot and discovered it wasn't that badly damaged, maybe his plan can still work. Mario swam out the pool and grabbed the controls and piloted the Cheep-Cheep to Toadette. Toadette looked at the Cheep-Cheep.
"Well, you certainly are friendly guy aren't you?" Mario then pressed a button which revealed the note and chocolates. "Wow! Look at this!" Mario only smirked at Wario as he glared at him with the fury of a thousand suns. Toadette took the note and read it.
'Look at bush with the red flag.'
"She's reading the note. Get the flag ready Toad," Mario said. Toad nodded hiding in the bush and raising a red flag. Mario pressed another button which would hand Toadette the chocolates, but something went wrong. Instead of handing Toadette the chocolates it started firing them at her with pinpoint accuracy.
"AH! OW!! WHAT THE HECK!!!" Toadette screamed at chocolates were hitting her hard all over but mostly the face which she covered with her arms. Mario, Luigi, and Toad just looked in awe as Wario was rolling on the ground in a laughing fit. When the chocolate gun was done Toadette wiped her face and glared at the red flag seeing Mario.
"MARIO!!! He's so dead for this!!!" Toadette turned stomped angrily away to clean herself up and think up a good way to kill Mario.
"I am SO glad I came! That was hilarious!! Yeah baby!" Wario said slapping Mario on the back. Luigi came back to the group.
"So, that didn't go the way we planned." He said.
"I know, it was better!" Wario complimented. "Well, it's my turn now. So I better get ready. You should come too Mario. You'll learn how to get women." Mario only grumbled as he walked away followed by Toad and Luigi.
Later that day, Toadette was at the Pizza Palace with her buddy Boo Diddly enjoying a large mushroom, sausage, and pepperoni pizza. Wario, Waluigi and Koopa were outside the restaurant with Mario. Unlike Luigi and Toad, Waluigi and Koopa actually agreed to come. Only because they knew if they didn't Wario would beat them so bad that they'd be in wheelchairs for weeks so they didn't want to take any chances. Wario turned to the three.
"Girls love a guy who they can feel safe with. You know; a strong guy who can protect them. So I gotta prove to that hot chick that I'm the guy." Wario explained. The others just looked at each other. "I know what you're thinking. 'Wario is already so big and strong why would he need to prove it.' Well, you gotta show a girl you're strong with some action! That's where the plan comes in."
"What's the plan again? I forgot." Koopa said.
"Koopa! You're such a dope! Fine! ONE MORE TIME! I'll go into Pizza Palace posing as a normal customer and order something. I'll sit at the table right next to the hot girl and eat my meal. When I'm half way done that's when Waluigi comes in and poses as another normal customer and then as soon as Waluigi gets his meal Koopa comes in with a bob-omb blaster and shouts that he'll get blow this place to bits if he doesn't get all the money in this place. That's when I get from my table, beat the snot outta Koopa and become a great hero. I'll go back to seat, finish my meal and the hot girl will give me a kiss and ask me on a date and of course I say yes! Then Mario will paint all the girls' toenails while I enjoy my date," Wario explained.
"I DON'T LIKE THIS PLAN! I GET HURT!" Koopa shouted the others had to slam koopa on the ground because Toadette was looking in that direction.
"Did you hear something?" Toadette asked.
"I didn't hear anything." Boo Diddly said taking another bite out of his pizza.
"Shut up Koopa! You almost ruined everything! Gawd! Alright are we ready?" Wario asked.
"Ready to start," Waluigi replied.
"Ready to see you fail," Mario said.
"Ready to go home," Koopa whined.
"Alright then. Let's do it. Yeah baby!" Wario said walking in the restaurant ordering his meal. Wario sat down at the table next to Toadette and Boo Diddly.
"So how you gonna make it up to Yoshi?" Boo Diddly asked.
"I don't know, I mean I didn't hurt him that bad," Toadette replied.
"You beat him silly with your hammer and then lit him on fire," Wario began snickering.
"Well, he should have paid when he was supposed to pay," Toadette replied. Wario quietly began eating. When he was halfway done he gave Wally the signal and he also came in to order something.
He walked up to the counter and looked at the menu. The cashier was Dry Bones. Waluigi scratched his chin deciding what to buy. Dry Bones stood there with a notepad and pen ready to write down the order.
"I'll have the....um.....hmm." Waluigi said thinking on what to order. Dry Bones just stood there waiting after two minutes.
"Can you hurry this up Waluigi?" Dry Bones asked.
"Hey! Don't rush the customer! And who are you to refer to me by my first name!? You call me sir or Mister!" Waluigi explained.
"But I know who you are," Dry Bones defended.
"Doesn't matter as long as you have that uniform you will refer to me as 'sir'!" Waluigi said pointing to Dry Bones' uniform which was simply a blue hat.
"Okay sir and what will you have?!" Dry Bones said getting impatient.
"Hmm, what do you recommend?" Waluigi asked.
"Actually, I think the-" Dry Bones said but was cut off by Waluigi literally shutting his mouth.
"Hold it! I know your business methods! You're gonna "recommend" the most expensive thing on the menu!"
"Actually, what I recommend is pretty cheap..." Dry Bones responded.
"Now you're trying to recommend something cheaper so I'll gain your trust and then you'll recommend I buy the most expensive thing on the menu! I know your tricks!" Waluigi accused. Meanwhile, Wario was tapping on the table lying his head on his arm waiting for Waluigi to hurry up and order something and back at the counter Dry Bones wasn't the only person getting impatient.
"Wally, can you please hurry up?! You're holding up the line!" Dry Bones pointing behind Waluigi. Waluigi looked behind him and saw angry toads, koopas, boos, goombas, shy guys and Morton.
"HURRY UP!!! I WANT SOME FOOD!!!" Morton yelled from the back, but Wally didn't care.
"Well, they'll just have to wait because I'm ORDERING!" Waluigi shouted at the crowd making them back off.
"Okay man, didn't need to scream at me..." Morton said backing up.
"'What are you ordering?' is the question of the day!" Dry Bones said. Waluigi looked back at the menu.
"Hmmmmmm...." Dry Bones sighed loudly. Thirty minutes later Dry Bones was sleeping standing up and snoring loudly, Mario and Koopa were playing New Super Jumpman Bros. verses, Wario was playing solitaire, the line behind Waluigi quadrupled in size, Toadette and Boo Diddley were playing ping pong on the restaurant table while waiting for the line to shrink because it currently was blocking the door and Waluigi was still thinking about what to order. He finally decided.
"I have made my decision!!" Waluigi announced making everyone in the line cheer loudly throwing confetti and having a dance party. "I'll have a small milkshake." He said which made Dry Bones' jaw break off. He put it back on and glared at purple man.
"A milkshake? A small milkshake? You've made me stand here for an HALF HOUR and all you order is a SMALL MILKSHAKE!!!?" Dry Bones yelled somehow turning red.
"Yep," Waluigi answered. Dry Bones turned bright red and his head began spinning around extremely fast and then he.......calmly gave Waluigi his milkshake.
"Here you go. That'll be 3 coins," Dry Bones said. Waluigi gave him the money and began sucking on the straw of his milkshake. Suddenly, a koopa in all black and a mask came in with a bob-omb blaster.
"Alright! Nobody move! This is a stick-up! Everybody give me all your coins or I'll blow this place and every one of you into bits!" The koopa shouted.
"NOW HOLD ON!!!" Waluigi shouted, "I just paid THREE COINS for this milkshake and I'm gonna finish it!" Waluigi began drinking his milkshake with everyone staring at him. Soon, he stopped and held his head in pain.
"BRAIN FREEZE!!!!" He screamed rubbing his temples and when his brain freeze vanished he resumed drinking his milkshake until it was completely empty. He gave a satisfied sighed and threw the cup away.
"Okay, you can continue," He said. The koopa pointed the blaster at all of the people in the restaurant frightening them and making them stay still. Waluigi pretended to be scared and was very convincing.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!! MOMMY!!!! MAKE THE BAD GUY GO AWAY MOMMY!!! I'M SO SCARED!!!! I WANT MY BLANKIE!!! I WANT MY BLANKIE!!!!" He screamed while crying. Outside Mario was watching the whole thing.
"I must say, Waluigi and Koopa are really good actors," Mario complimented.
"You really think so!" Koopa asked joyously as he appeared right next to him. Mario looked at him and then at the koopa in the restaurant about five times.
"Wait, if you're here then that means…OH BOY!" Who could forget that wonderful 80's line? Anyway, back to the story. The koopa was walking to table to table snatching wallet after purse. Wario decided it was time to step in.
"Alright you! Give everybody's money back and get your butt outta here before I kick it!" Wario threatened.
"Ha! You and what army? Fatty!"
"My fists that's who now come here!" Wario yelled charging at whom he thought was Koopa, but very unlike Koopa this guy can hold his own. He beat Wario to a pulp in less then ten seconds and stole all his money.
"Oh, ow....money.....gone...." Wario moaned after the beating he got. Toadette got up and walked over the koopa.
"What do you want girl? You better sit down before I MAKE you!" The koopa threatened. Toadette rolled her eyes and beat the living day lights outta that koopa within 5 seconds. She returned everyone's money and walked out of the restaurant with her buddy. Mario hid in a bush so she wouldn't see him. Waluigi was struggling to carry Wario out but managed to do it. Wario was still conscious enough to throttle Koopa which is very similar to how Homer Simpson strangles Bart.
"Looks like we both couldn't get a date with the hot girl," Mario said to Wario as they sat inside Peach's castle kitchen enjoying sandwiches. Mario had a pepperoni sandwich and Wario had a garlic sandwich.
"That's only because people messed up my plans," Wario said.
"Well, the same thing happened to me," Mario replied. Toadette came in the kitchen looking in the fridge, but the two didn't notice her.
"I guess this means neither of us loses the bet. Meaning we don't have to paint the girls' toenails," Mario said.
"Man! Don't try to cancel it. We'll just bet on another girl," Wario said. Toadette heard the conversation and realized why her day was like it was. They were betting on her. Toadette slammed the fridge and turned angrily on the two who just notice her.
"Uh oh, we're in trouble." Mario said.
"Ya think so?" Ah another memorable 80's line. Peach, Daisy, Birdo, Dixie, and Tiny were in Peach's room chatting about girl stuff while Mario and Wario who were beaten and bruised were painting their fingernails and toenails.
"I don't like this shade. Get nail polish remover." Tiny told Wario who was painting her fingernails.
"I'd like to remove your-" Wario was cut off by Dixie whipping him. "AH!"
"Go get it." Dixie ordered which Wario did without question. Mario was painting Daisy's toenails while making Birdo a cucumber sandwich at the same time. Mario handed her the sandwich and she inspected it.
"Mario, I said I wanted tomatoes on this. Take it back."
"Oh come on!" Mario whined getting whipped by Peach. "OW! Peach is this really necessary?"
"Yes, Toadette told us about your bet and we think it's a great idea. And since you both lost we own you now." Peach explained.
"You boys should make bets like this more often." Daisy said. "Now Mario, give me a back massage."
"But, that isn't part of the bet," He said getting whipped by Peach again. "OUCH!! Okay! I'm doing it! I'm doing it!"
"Man! I still can't believe that was Toadette we were trying get," Wario grumbled removing the nail polish off of Tiny's fingernails.
"I know, she really grew up," Mario said handing Birdo the proper sandwich and began massaging Daisy's back. Outside in the window Toadette, Luigi, Toad, Waluigi, Boo Diddly and Koopa were sitting on a tree branch laughing at the scene. Luigi and Waluigi were taping it.
"This is a great day!" Luigi said.
"You can say that again!" Waluigi said.
"I'm gonna send this to everyone we know!" Toad told.
"That's what they get for betting on her." Boo Diddly said.
"HA! HA! HA! HA! AAAAAAH!!!!!" Koopa screamed as he fell out the tree.
"And to think, all this is because of my new look." Toadette said with a smile and a wink.
THE END