Pairings: Jasper/Edward, Jasper/OCs
Disclaimer: This story mine. Characters of Twilight and associated - not mine. OC characters Jimmy Oaks, Bonnie Simmons, Ashley Jameson - all mine. Don't sue.
Author notes: Dark Edward, Dark Jasper, M-rated for violence and other graphic content and use of crude language.
Again, thanks to my wonderful ladies! rhenea5018 - thanks for that marvellous voice of confidence about this chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you to KuroiBlackNightingale for your constant advice and picking up all my crappy tense issues, especially in this chapter! To VanPireNZ - Thanks for all your patience, hon, and for not hanging up when I talk constantly about this. And to vampthenewblack who provides me with a constant muse, even if you did steal my grammar nazi... now on with the show...
After the Storm
Chapter 9 - I'm No Angel
"I must be cruel only to be kind;
Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind."
~ William Shakespeare
"Hello Edward."
The smooth, satiny voice forces Edward to a standstill. He knows that voice. He fears that voice, or more accurately, the owner of that voice. He stands in the centre of the room, feet braced and ready to flee; to find his lover and run for the hills, but he knows she never comes unaccompanied and running would be futile. An almost indiscernible shudder flows through him before he forces himself to question her presence.
"Why are you here?" His tone is short, terse even, but he refuses to turn around. Familiar mocking chuckles greet his words and grate upon his nerves. He can clearly hear the rustle upon the straw-strewn floor as feet move towards him. Still, he refuses to turn and greet the newcomer. "I heard your amusement all the way from the house. I didn't expect you to come to me though."
The silken tone that moves through the air sends a chill down his spine.
"I want the matching pair, Edward. I want Jasper."
Clenching his jaw, he curses himself for not discerning her scent - that cloying, overly-sweet scent that used to draw him in, but only serves to repulse him now - from the scent of the others. He had been too distracted with his human and now he berates himself - repeatedly. Carefully, he turns, trying to glimpse her figure, but she is standing in the shadows.
"Jane..."
Her child-like voice comes unwaveringly out of the gloom.
"You didn't think I would let you have all that deliciousness to yourself, did you Edward? You know how I feel about sharing your toys."
Slowly, her feet slide into view and he stares hard at the tiny feet encased in soft, black leather shoes.
"Give him to me Edward."
"No!"
The vehemence in his voice seems to amuse her and he can see her teeth gleam briefly in the dim light at his defiance. He draws himself up, standing his ground against her, knowing the futility of any effort against her power should she deem to use it against him, but Jasper is too important to just give in to the vampire witch. His body tense, Edward states flatly, "I will not give him up to you, Jane. This man, this human is my mate."
He hears her soft gasp. "Mate?" she queries.
"Potential mate," he quickly amends.
"And what would you say if I said to you he is earmarked for something else?"
"I would have to point out that I have known him longer than you have and I won't give him up without a fight. I refuse to give up my potential mate because you want him."
"Not even for Aro?"
Swallowing hard, Edward feels his stomach clench in fear. "Aro?" he questions thickly.
"He has been marked for Aro." She comes out of the shadows and he sees her clearly for the first time. Her small, childish figure; the pale brown hair tucked away at the back of her hair; errant strands curling around her cherub-like face. "Give me reason, Edward, why your Human is not to be given to Aro."
"It has been a long time finding him, and I refuse to be alone when I know he is the right one. I will fight you." He holds his ground, and he bristles when she laughs.
"Oh, Edward, you cannot fight me."
"I can, Jane. I'm fast and I can fight you."
"Edward, you know how useless that is against me. I can make you fall to your knees every time." He grits his teeth against her dismissiveness and his eyes follow her as she slowly saunters around him. She gives him a a dry look as she takes in his defensive stance and pauses, staring intently at him. "So defensive, Edward. It would take but a second to reduce you to your knees. You know that."
He nods, holding her gaze.
"You know," Jane begins cordially as she resumes strolling around him, "you were always so skilled upon your knees. Perhaps we should do that again sometime?" Her voices ends in a slightly querying note and Edward's hackles rise, velvet hairs rising upon his nape as she brings up memories he'd rather forget. He knows that she is doing it to get a rise out of him and it takes everything in him to not rise to her taunting.
"No?" A sneer mars her angelic face when she realises that he will not respond the way she wills him to. A cold smile replaces the sneer upon her face and she mocks him somewhat scathingly, "But you seemed to enjoy it so much, Edward. Admit it, you enjoyed every single, momentous moment with me. Every moment you watched as I held humans and vampires alike with my power. You revelled in their torment as much I did. You enjoyed it. So much so that when I wouldn't have you, you found my replacement. I do admire the way you are training him to be like me, by the by."
"Jasper is nothing like you, Jane."
"Oh, but I beg to differ!" Her callous tone rings out clearly, and the slight reverberation against the boards of the stables bounce back to his sensitive ear drums, causing them to tingle. He can feel her walking around the room, skirting the shadows, avoiding the light and her words make him grind his teeth in frustration and anger. "Jasper is like me. All right," her slim shoulder lifts in a slight shrug as she sees Edward's questioning look, "no he isn't - yet - but he is like Alec. You do recall my brother, do you not? Tall, dark and almost as gifted as I am? The one who stood by your side, torturing innocent people?" She tilts her head becomingly at him.
Edward clenches his jaw and he swallows hard as he answers, "I do recall Alec. How can I forget that man who taught me to be the way I am?"
Her jeering laughter rises above the anxious nickers of the horses within.
"He didn't have to teach you, Edward. Believe me, Alec didn't have to teach you. You were already that way. Carlisle, then Alec, helped only to hone that part of you. You harboured such darkness in your soul. Such a good pet; so eager, so willing to embrace your inner darkness."
Edward fights to hold in his inner tension, the anger that rises at her jibes. But Edward's fists clench when she segues into, "Hopefully, my new toy will be just as good as you. Although I suspect that since Jasper hasn't had the same training as you had with Carlisle - yet - that his skill has yet to be honed." She smirks at Edward's obvious and palpable hatred emanating from his person, "I will ensure that he is correctly trained in all aspects of this life."
Incensed, something in Edward snaps and he pounces, desperate to grab her, to stop the taunting, the mocking, and hear her screams instead, but it is only her laughter that rings out as he is held fast by her companion. Edward slumps in temporary defeat. He should have known. Jane never travels alone.
"Keep him there, Felix. I need to go back and play with my new toy." The teasing lilt in her voice freezes Edward in place.
"Jane!" Edward calls out rashly, looking into eyes of the only authority Edward has ever acknowledged. "Jasper is mine, Jane," he says his voice calm, but hard. "I've put too much work and effort into this to just hand him over to you. He was mine first."
When her eyes narrow, staring hard at him, Edward knows he had pushed her too far. "Pain," she softly says. Letting her painful gift speak volumes for her, the cold, pale face looks on in amusement as Edward, his back arched with pain, roars, uttering her name most agonisingly.
"Jane! No! J-J-J-Jasp--per...J-Jane... lea--ve... J-J-Jane! Please! Oh God! Jane!"
"That's where you err, Edward. He was mine before you ever laid eyes on him."
As she releases him from her torturous gift, Edward's voice is sharp with hatred, spitting out his words, "Jasper is mine, Jane!"
"Yes, yes we get that," she replies dismissively. Jane looks him pityingly. "Poor Edward."
She leans down and he can feel her lips graze his lobe as he lays trembling in the grip of the other vampire. "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven." Edward trembles further at her thoughts when Jane pulls back and her lips twist into a semblance of a smile, "After we're finished with him, we can all feast on the meal you have so kindly put on for us. I can smell the fear from here. But right now, I have to to attend to your human."
He hears Jane's plans for Jasper as the thoughts race through her mind and when she turns to leave, panicked Edward screams after her, his voice strained, "No, Jane! Please! He's mine!"
His pleas fall on deaf ears as he watches her slight figure glide out effortlessly whilst he is held helpless by her companion. Edward breathes heavily as he contemplates what Jane might do to his beloved Jasper. He knows when she reaches the house. It didn't take her long to get there and with his keen hearing, Edward can hear the mocking tones speaking to Jasper and his heart aches for his lover...
"You know me, Jasper. I've been here all this time."
At the house, Jane's eyes are mocking as she watches the huddled figure of Jasper rocking silently.
Curled up at the bottom of one wall, Jasper gazes up blankly towards the ceiling, holding his fists tightly around his knees as he loses himself in his thoughts; willing himself to deal with this. She can see his trembling form, rocking slightly, and with her heightened hearing, she can hear the light mutterings under his breath. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it."
Smirking in derisive glee, she watches how he changes as emotions cross his face; anxious eyes, head bowed, trembling chin and furrowed brow.
"I can't," she hears him say.
A loud, cackling laugh reverberates around the foyer, the sound echoing off the walls. A broad smile crosses her childish face as Jane recognises the voice and she greets him, gliding across the marbled flooring. As she makes her way over to her brother's side, Jane continues to stare at the human and she reaches for her brother's hand. He extends it out to her, pulling her into his side for a quick hug in greeting.
"Alec."
"Jane."
Jasper does not notice the faint footsteps against the marble floor, nor the shadows that grow longer around him as he feels locked in the realms of his mind. But Jasper is not. He is not trapped in his mind. For it is Alec that is controlling Jasper's sight, his feelings and his hearing.
Locking Jasper away under his blanketing mist of power, Alec slides a sideways glance at his sister, before asking coyly, "How goes it with Edward? Have you trussed him up and thrown him to the wolves?"
The teasing grates on her nerves and Jane throws him a dirty look, ignoring his taunt. She knows that Alec would have heard her altercations with Edward, even from here. 'Downsides to having heightened senses,' she thinks snidely, crossing her arms in exasperation.
"How goes it with our new toy?" she asks, her tone of voice indicating that she does not wish to discuss it.
The dark haired boy shrugs at her, grinning, and he relents on teasing her - for the moment. "The Human? He's fun. Helps me tweak things a little. I blind him here, I numb him there. I lifted it so he could hear me before. I like him. Let's keep him."
Sister and brother; pale brunette and dark brunet; sadist and only slightly-less-so; both such eager, young children that have yet to grow up. They play, as cats play with their food, and they continue to toy with the blond man; locking him in a dark, silent world with only shadows to accompany him. Their voices taunt him each time the boy lifts the veil of silence, and, as Jasper rocks, his figure curling tightly into his self-made ball, they mercilessly laugh, their youthful voices mingling with his low-tone keening.
Staring intently at the human on the floor, Jane cannot help but be quietly thrilled at the prospect that he is going to finally be hers. 'I've been here all along, Jasper,' she thinks smugly. 'You just haven't realised you belong with me.'
"Jane? Will you keep him from Aro?"
Turning her attention back to her brother, she misses the assessing gaze Alec had thrown her.
"That's always been the plan, Alec," she says aloud, slightly irritated at her brother's flippancy.
"But that was before. Now I've played with him," jests Alec with a playful pout. "I want him to stay human a little longer. It'll be ages before the newborn strength ebbs away and I'll have no-one fun to play with. Unless, you count Edward?"
"Alec," she intones warningly.
"Jane..." he mocks back. At her glare, he rolls his eyes, "Relax. I'll turn him when the time comes. Don't lose your culottes. Like I said, I like him. He is a little more fun than others." He winks at his sister, "Watch this."
He stares hard at the blond man curled upon the floor, and the young face of Alec breaks into a devilish, almost feral look of pleasure. She shivers at the familiar look, her body highly anticipatory at what he might show her. It always excited her watching other powers at work.
Alec lifts his brows in egoistic delight as he grins slyly at the light brown-haired girl at his side, and chucking his thumb cheekily under her chin, he laughs softly. "I know you're excited, but just wait. Watch him. It's beautiful. He's so terrified, it's entrancing." He turns back to the man on the floor and Alec's voice is soft, yet smooth and persuasive as he purrs, "Jasper... Jasper, I'm waiting. Do not pretend you don't know me. I know you. I know you so well."
Screams, high pitched and full of terror arc through the stillness and bounce from the walls, echoing throughout the empty home. Wide open, eyes staring into nothingness, Jasper rocks, crying keenly as he claps his hands over his ears and he cannot hear the peals of laughter that fall from the brunette girl delightedly.
"You're mad, Alec!" she chortles, glee evident in her face and stance as she beams proudly at her brother. "Do it again?"
Huddled at the base of the wall, the tormented creature lies, locked in the dark realms of his mind. Alone, frightened; Jasper cannot feel, cannot see nor hear, and he can only think repetitive thoughts - thoughts that wind themselves around and around, 'What have I done to deserve this? I am a good man, a patient man. I have lived my life the best way I know how! What did I do? Why have you left me? Edward? God? Mother? Don't leave me here? Please? Please!'
The voices continue to taunt him and Jasper can only hold his legs, wrapping his arms tightly around them; the constant rocking motion a weak and pitiful mimicry of a memory long-gone; of a loving mother rocking him in her arms.
"Mom?"
Jasper weeps softly, tears flowing down his face as long-dormant thoughts rise up and flood his mind.
When Alice disappeared, Jasper did everything in his minuscule power to be the perfect son. Never deviating from the path of truth, of God and everything his parents desired until his teenage years. It was then that he realised - it did not matter what he did, for he would never be as perfect as poor, little, dead Alice.
He took up rebellion as his pastime. Often in the company of Phil and Ash, he went about smoking and trying to find the most naughty, rebellious thing he could find. He learnt to swagger, to strut, despite what his folks had told him about the correct gentlemanly ways to holding one's self. He prided himself in doing the total opposite of what his parents would want.
However, Jasper could not bring himself to take the one step that would deem life with his parents over. He did not capitalise on Phil's side long glances, the silent offer to pursue something Jasper desired to find out about most - sex with a man. He often thought about it, sliding his hand over his erect member late at night, thinking about what he could do with Phil and what Phil would do with him. It was only in his room, when he was alone would he dare to think earnestly about these things. Outside of the confines of his room, he would not allow himself to go down that path. He had not been quite ready for that - yet.
Jasper may have been rebellious but he was not stupid. Rebellion is one thing, but to tarnish his marital prospects, his chances of making a reasonable marriage in the future? That was not one of the things he planned on.
Instead he was going to play at life until the time came for him to settle down and be the dutiful son once more. And that role he played well, as he conceded to his father's wishes to join the army, but fled to San Francisco.
It was only on the spur of the moment, and with a lapse in judgement, that he gave into the advances, the constant silent offerings, and it was then that he had attacked Phil, giving into his own yearnings, his own desires and most of all giving in to what he - Jasper Whitlock - wanted and not what his father wanted of him.
"Jasper... are you...?"
"Hush Phil," he bade urgently, his lips ghosting over the man's jaw, moving towards his intended target. "This is what I want."
"I don't want to pressure you, you know this right?"
"I know Phil," he trailed his tongue lightly along the edge of Phil's bottom lip, watching in abject fascination as the man drew in his breath and his tongue invited Jasper to taste. Jasper leant forward, to bid entrance to that enticing mouth, "but rest assured..." he pressed his lips firmly against the other's, feeling the softness beneath his, and Jasper coaxed a return response to his ministrations with enticements of gentle nibbles and caresses, "this is what I want, right at this moment."
To his frustration, Phil kept interrupting, "It's just you have never wanted this before..."
He tugged gently upon the man's lower lip, sucking upon it and earning himself a groan of pleasure from the other man. Jasper smiled briefly. "Shh... just close that pretty mouth of yours, I'm trying to do my best work here and you keep ignoring it." His hands moved hesitantly, unfamiliarly, skimming over the front of the man's chest, roving over the slim, firm figure whilst he moved his lips down the length of the man's throat. He could do this.
"Oh Jasper, you are such a beautiful creature."
He snickered, somewhat embarrassed, but nonetheless continued this foray into forbidden territory as he felt Phil's gentle surrender under his roving hands. "Likewise Phil... likewise."
That interlude was his last foray into both disobedience and letting go of a life he could not have. Now, he is at a loss at to what he is. The voice is taunting him, mocking him and he can only rock back and forth as he tries to make sense of it all. He can't seem to see, to feel, to breathe. He is locked within the dark cloud that surrounds him. Literally, though he has yet to realise it.
Jasper.
There is the voice again and he rocks as he shakes his head. "Stop it," he whispers. He throws his head back in an effort to clear his head, but suddenly his vision is back, and Jasper stops, blinking rapidly as everything around him comes sharply into focus. His eyes catch a glimpse of tiny feet, encased in black shoes, standing before him. 'Interesting,' notes his mind before it peruses its way up the slim legs, notes absently the intricate hemming at the edge of her dress, the scalloped lace edging indicative of its European origins, before travelling up the young girl's smock to the pale, innocent, angelic-looking face. He tilts his head sideways inquisitively. "Are you an angel?"
She laughs delightedly, and her smile when it comes, is far from angelic. "No Jasper, I am definitely no angel."
A movement at her side and Jasper sees another figure, a boy at her side. He tilts his head the other way, leaning to rest his ear upon his shoulder. "Are you an angel?" he asks mildly of the one standing next to her.
The boy smiles too, albeit colder. "No Jasper. I am as dark as you are, or you will be by the time we have finished with you." His gaze holds Jasper in stasis and Jasper is at once both fearful yet hopeful.
"You're beautiful. Did you know that? Even with those burgundy eyes." The wondrous tone causes them to raise their brows at one another in perfect syncopation. "Who are you?"
"I'm Jane, Jasper."
"You know my name?"
"And this is my twin, Alec."
He sighs, relieved to know he can see and hear once more. Cautiously, he asks of them, "Edward? Where is Edward?"
"Edward is waiting for you. Like he always has."
They both note that narrowing of his eyes, those perfect blue eyes. They both draw in breath simultaneously as those eyes clear, focus and sharpen as something obviously snaps together in his head and they wait, with bated breath. Something is about to blow.
"What do you mean - 'like he always has?'" Jasper's eyes have turned a stormy blue, reminiscent of a storm-swept night and his jaw clenches and unclenches, anger apparent. "Answer me!"
"Answer you?" sneers Jane, her look dismissive as she feigns disinterest. "As if you are the one that can make demands on me, on us," scoffs Jane coldly. "I answer to Aro - and on the odd occasion to Caius, if he finds favour with me - otherwise I answer to no-one and certainly not to a mere human."
The strange names intrigue him and Jasper wonders fleetingly who Aro and Caius are, and what they have to do with him.
However, it is only briefly as her footsteps mesmerise him, their little taps reminiscent of Alice's little feet. But instead of Alice's sweet, angelic voice, it is Jane's saccharine-sweet one that speaks to him - eventually. "Edward has always been around, Jasper. Did you know that? He saw you from a distance and wanted you. It was Edward that removed any and all potential prospects for your heart. Have you never wondered why it was that whenever you showed any keen interest in someone, they mysteriously disappeared?" He throws her a startled glance and she chuckles lightly. "Did you not know that ever since he spotted you over ten years ago, that he has wanted you ever since? He followed you. Everywhere."
Her look is intense, fiercely primitive in its gloating. Jasper cannot help, but feel dislike for her.
"How does it feel, knowing that Edward has been toying with you all these years? From the time you were a fifteen year old boy, knowing that he was just biding his time?"
"Edward isn't like that."
"He saw you with Philip. He watched as you pushed yourself upon that man, and he watched as you lay with him; Committing debaucherous acts, depraved acts, such beautifully sinful acts and he wept. He wept for you loosing your innocence to a mere human. He wept for the loss of that precious moment with you. A moment that he felt should have been special between the two of you. Edward raged for that loss. And he killed for that loss. Did you know that Jasper? That Edward killed for you? Who did he kill? Your lover, your parents...How do you feel about loving a murderer, Jasper?"
"He's not a murderer!"
"Isn't he? He killed your parents, you know." She gives a mocking little gasp. "Oh my apologies... did you not know that?" Smirking maliciously, she stares at him and Jasper realises in that instance that her words ring true.
"Edward?"
There is a questioning, wistful note in his voice as his head falls back to rap sharply against the wall behind him, and it feels as though he has lost something monumental.
Jane leans back, beaming and clapping her hands in approval. "Oh Jasper, you are perfect... like a lost little boy. Edward will be happy to fix that, I'm sure. You'll be fine when you are changed and become his mate. You want that, don't you, Jasper?"
The twins watch in avid interest as Jasper sits there, emotions playing across his face. Silence reigns in the large house as the three stay motionless.
It is Jasper who eventually breaks the silence, his voice blank and unemotional, recounting the moment he first met Edward, piecing his heart together with his words.
"Edward came through the doors at the far end of the room. As I sat there assimilating the earlier night's events with her body lay out before me, I felt him. He paused by her body, face hidden in the shadows. Remorse and grief poured off him in waves and I felt a great compassion for him. He moved incredibly quickly; too quickly for a human. The creature of the night was a vampire. Yes, I had come to the conclusion that was what he was. That and he confirmed it for me. I merely watched; passively, as his pale hand lay against the side of her face; resentfully as the slim fingers tenderly caressed her face, tracing her brows, the line of her nose; and lastly - sorrowfully as he bowed his head and sobbed.
I stood and walked over to where he sat, and surprisingly was able to place one hand on his shoulder. It shuddered under my touch as he grieved. My sole thought was that he couldn't be held responsible. We stayed like that for a long time, the only indication of time passing the lowering of the flames in the hearth as they burned - brightly at first, then slowly, but surely, dying down to a single, charred lonely log."
Thoughts flow through his mind, trying to wring coherency from memories and fact as they tumble and whirl through his tired mind. Jasper gazes at the ceiling, his eyes following the intricate carving of the fascia as his words fall from his mouth unbidden. "All the while Edward had talked about her. I found the dark-haired, porcelain-faced goddess standing in the rain had a name. Isabella Swan. She had been pushing him to change her, to become one of them. It became her obsession and refusing to take no for an answer she had coerced him into being there that night. Edward had spoken haltingly; his guilt more and more apparent with each and every spoken and unspoken word. My heart broke for him. She may have been fallen in love with this glorious, inviting creature, but she loved the idea of being a vampire more. 'The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but the one who causes the darkness.' Don't you see? I couldn't have him held responsible. It was her."
Jasper turns his head, staring intently at the twins, his words passionate as they tumble from his dry lips. "I refuse to let him be held responsible. I won't let him be held responsible. It may sound callous, but I was the one who beheld this incredible creature who should have had strength beyond a thousand men, and instead had been grief-stricken and sobbing in the pouring rain over the body that had claimed his dark side. He was a broken shade of what he should be. I despised her unknown person for that alone."
"You love him."
"Yes. And because of that, I can't hold him responsible for my parents, like I can't hold him responsible for Isabella. And I won't hold those years of want against him, because I want him too."
"Well..." Jane starts to say something, but Jasper draws back, his voice troubled.
"What if I'm not ready? What if I'm never ready?"
"Ready for what?" Alec's voice breaks in.
"Ready for changing, for that change or turning or whatever it is that you call becoming a vampire."
"Um, becoming a vampire is what we call it. And you are ready for it," Alec reassures him, and although his tone is somewhat dismissive, his gaze is sharply assessing.
"What if I'm not? What if..."
Alec is quick to pick up on Jasper's unspoken question. "What you are questioning is whether you are ready to do it for Edward. What about whether you are ready to do it for you?"
"Alec! What are you doing?!" Jane hisses angrily, but Jasper notes that Alec is quick to dismiss his twin sister.
"Wait, Jane! Just... wait."
Jasper's head falls back against the wall as his gaze breaks off worriedly into the distance. "Well, yes," he says after a moment, "What if I am not ready for the other side, the long life ahead of me, for life as a vampire, for life with Edward... for love." His head turns, and the vampire boy shivers slightly at the depth of emotion that is held in those humanly blue eyes, "What if...I'm not ready for love?"
Carelessly leaning against the wall, Alec stares down at the man at this feet. He feels the disturbing sense of stirring emotions and he does not like it. He rubs his forehead lightly with his thumb before speaking, "I think," he begins slowly, "I think that when you are prepared to cross the line, to delve into the unknown, to foray into things beyond your knowledge because someone else indicates that you should or that they would like you to do so, then you are already across the line. You're already there, Jasper. You just need to be turned to make it official."
"To make what official?"
"That you are one of us... That you will bridge the chasm that is Edward Masen vs. Edward Cullen. That you will give his life a truth to bridge the lies."
Jane kneels down next to where he sits and peers cautiously into his face. Disturbed, Jasper pulls away from her.
She notices this.
Smiling sweetly, she also notes the look of adoration that shines vapidly in his eyes. 'For Edward,' she thinks waspishly. 'We can fix that.' When she speaks, her tone is gentle such as one might use on a child. "Edward and I have been here all this time waiting for you, Jasper. He does not hate you. Far from it, I am sure. In fact, I think he loves you."
"I love Edward. I truly do, but he will hate what I have done."
Alec is quick to reassure him. "Oh no Jasper, I think he will more than approve of whatever you have done, as we do."
Jane glares at her brother, but when she speaks, her voice is sweet and cajoling, "Do you want to play a game, Jasper? I know that you like playing games. Edward has been showing you, I know. How about I show you one of my favourites?"
She holds out her hand towards him, encouraging him to take hers. He does so, hoisting himself to his feet and he finds himself towering over her minuscule figure. She smiles widely at him, and he feels calmer and even more hopeful.
The dry tone of Alec floats in the air. "Yes Jasper, let's go to Edward. He is awaiting our arrival most... eagerly."
As they cross the wide floor and go out through the door, Jane smiles and speaks lowly beyond Jasper's hearing range, knowing Edward can hear her. "We're coming Edward. We're bringing Jasper... then we can have a little fun." Her smile grows wider as only she and Alec can hear the angry roar of Edward coming from the stables.
"No! Felix! Let me go!" Edward yells with an enraged tone as Jane's voice calls out to him, trying to tear himself away from the vampire's presence. Edward pulls against the hold of the larger vampire, who is holding him in place.
"Edward," drawls the older, stronger vampire.
Clinging desperately to the sound of Jasper's voice penetrating his mind as the three walk towards where he lies, Edward tries to free himself from the other vampire. His insides burning with a fierceness to protect what is his, Edward attempts to kick out, but instead finds himself flying through the air to land hard along the edge of a stall door, rendering it to smithereens as he falls to the floor. The startled horse within rears and Edward clasps his arms around his head as he rolls away from the shying hooves.
Somewhat stunned, but still uninjured, Edward gets up, wanting to fight the other vampire, however, before he can lash out, Felix is there, hoisting Edward upward, then with all the force the vampire can muster behind him, he throws Edward's body down upon the hard-packed floor. Winded, the bronze-haired man lies breathing hard for a minute, before he clambers wheezily to his feet.
"Tsk tsk, Edward," mocks the oily voice of the male vampire. "You know that really is quite ineffectual."
His arms seized roughly behind his back, Edward is pulled into the arms of the man called Felix.
"Let me go."
"But why, Edward? You know I rather like you so close to me." The breath of the male vampire ghosts over Edward's skin, and he trembles as the lips dance along the shell of his ear, reminding him of another moment in time. "Action is eloquence, Edward and your actions have always been more than adept at waxing lyrical eloquence from any... instrument," he shivers as a finger glides up his cheek, the voice in his ear drawling and it is his loins that flare in feeling as Felix smoothly brings aching memories to the forefront of his mind. "Pianofortes, organs of all types..."
Lifting his feet, Edward swings them down intending on throwing the older man over his back, but it seems that Felix has other plans...
"Oh I think not, Edward. I think not," and once more Edward is cast aside, his figure crashing into the far wall of the stable. He slides down into an empty stall, but as he hits the floor, a pale hand is already at Edward's throat holding him where he lies. He writhes as the man pushes hard against him, attempting to crush his windpipe and ineloquent phrases stream from Edward's lips, the most frequent one the names of his current and past lover as he begs for mercy. "Jasper. Jane." When the pain ebbs and finally comes to a stop, Edward gulps in large draws of air as he dimly hears the thoughts of Jasper. He struggles in vain against the man holding him down.
"Stop it," he pleads imploringly, beseechingly, but pauses as he hears another voice. "No!" he whispers in horror. "No, Alec!"
"Stop!" It is Jasper, and Edward cranes his neck, desperate to see the man for whom he wants to live.
"Jasper!" He takes in the sight of his human, the tousled hair standing on end, the tired gait of his walk as he comes through the open door, the slump of his shoulders and Edward's heart constricts in pain for the torment his lover has had to go through. A small part of him is also fearful, wondering if Jasper is truly fine with the truths Jane has paraded before him.
"Edward?" The amused voice of Felix breaks into Edward's thoughts. "Are you still with us?" Edward shivers as Felix slides his hand down the side of Edward's face almost lovingly. "He's been a little troublesome while you've been with The Human."
Derisively, Jane snorts and Edward winces as he hears her thoughts before she speaks.
"Why don't you tell us about Charles Swan, Edward? I'm sure Jasper will be delighted to hear about your exploits. It might make him more comfortable with his own issues about murder."
Edward looks at his human, his lover and it pains him to hear Jasper's thoughts. But above Jasper thoughts, Edward hears HER voice again. Bella's voice.
"It's beautiful here, Edward. Hell. You and he will be very happy," remarks Bella's voice in his head. "All of us will be awaiting the arrival most... desirously." He shakes his head to stop her taunts in his mind. "You are keeping us waiting, Edward. Jasper's parents, my parents... we are all here, Edward. We are waiting for you."
Edward shakes his head again. Stop it Bella. Edward knows that she doesn't exist any longer, that Jasper kindly disposed of her, but a part of Edward still feels the guilt; guilt that he led her along, pretending a courtship to a relationship that would never happen. It was this guilt that had led him to take care of her family; first her mother, then her father, after Bella's demise.
Edward takes a deep breath and begins haltingly, "It was several mornings after the storm, when we had been talking about that picnic, it was then that I had come across their scent, but I didn't follow it then." His eyes lift to meet Jasper's and he silently pleads for his mate to understand.
"I have always known that I cannot afford loose ends, and when I realised that the murmurings I heard within the thoughts of surrounding townsfolk meant I could put it off no longer, I knew I had to deal with it. The Swans' incessant questions upon her whereabouts, the noticeable disappearance of me from their lives - it would, and could, only jeopardise my chances at finishing your change of life the way I wished to do so. So I sought them out after leaving you, Jasper."
Edward tries to assimilate Jasper's thoughts, but Jane breaks in.
"But Edward could not do it without exacting his revenge upon Isabella Swan. He wanted to punish her for what she had forced him to do, and if he could not punish Charles' issue as she was now dead, then he could punish Charles himself."
"What did you do, Edward?" Jasper's question is spoken quietly.
"The punishment Edward doled out - forcing Bella's beloved father to watch his wife suffer at Edward's hands. Edward was still bitter about Bella trying to force his hand, to force him to kill her before Jasper's home, before Jasper himself. Forcing Charlie Swan to watch the last of his family die was an exact revenge according to Edward."
Edward throws Jane an evil glare. "Yes, therefore, I chose the slowest way to suck Renee Swan's blood, to make it last longer, to torment her further so that the Elder Swan would and could only watch aghast as his wife was slowly mutilated before his eyes. Charlie could only watch as she writhed in pain, screaming at him - her husband - to make it stop as I sucked life out of her, through her ankle." He stops as he thinks back.
Edward had almost stopped, the blood tasting distasteful to him, but he had continued when the flash of Jasper came to him; the thought of another man touching what Edward considered his - Jimmy tasting Jasper. The monster had risen inside Edward, had roared at the very idea that Jimmy would dare touch his precious desired man and it was only because Edward had an equal desire to rid himself of the Swans, did he continue his task and finish bleeding her dry. Only when her heart had stopped pounding in his ears, her blood almost pooling to a stop, and Charles Swan's pleas for him to stop had lowered to wrenching sobs, only then had he stopped. Only then had Edward picked up her limp and pliant body and thrown it down upon the ground.
The monster had still raged within him as he caught glimpses of Jasper's thoughts, thoughts of missing Edward, of missing Jimmy, of his desire to remove Isabella from his home, of wanting to remove himself from his life; these thoughts could be heard by Edward and fuelled his rage. It was this rage that Edward utilised to slowly cut the man's skin, running a sharp fingernail down the side of the man's face, letting blood pool and run slowly down Charlie's cheek, the red accentuating the pale, fearful man. It was that same rage that Edward altered from a red-hot anger of a jealous lover to a coldness of a killer that led him to slice more wounds upon the kneeling, trussed-up man's arms and chest while Edward watched the man bleed out. His impassive gaze did not waver as he watched the father of Isabella Swan lose control of both his bladder and his bowels while he begged for mercy. His eyes had followed the trails of blood as it pooled around the man before with a cry of barely held anger, he bit into the man's artery at his neck and drank until the man could cry no more.
"Yes, I killed them Jasper. And I did it slowly."
"For Isabella?"
"Yes."
"Good."
"Good?! Did you not hear Edward tell you that he killed someone in cold-blood?! That he got rid of them because he felt they might be in his way of doing what he likes with you?"
"Did you not hear the part where I could not hold Edward responsible? He is not a reprehensible killer, Jane!"
"Oh, but he is Jasper! You just do not understand him yet. He kills for the pure pleasure of feeling a human's life ebb away under his hand. He finds the weak, and preys on them; hunting them down and cornering them and when they cannot flee from him, he traps them before toying with them! And when their fear is at its most heightened, that is when he bites down on their necks, listening to their screams in his ear and revelling in their blood flowing down his throat. And you know what he derives the most pleasure from, Jasper? You. Turning you into one like him. A monster. A person capable of killing for the pleasure it gives them. Do you want that? Do you want to kill more people like you have done over this past week? Do you want to be with someone who wants you to kill for the pure, insane pleasure of being able to share in the torture and the sadistic pleasure of rolling in the blood while taking pleasure in one another?"
"Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another," replies Jasper cryptically. "But, no evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death."
Homer. Plato. The words interest Edward greatly, for he has not had an opportunity before to change anyone, and never had he come across someone who knew what they were about to become. He finds great comfort in the fact that Jasper is reciting great authors. It gives Edward hope.
Edward can read that Jasper is sickly elated at the thought of being a vampire; the knowledge that as a vampire Jasper will be able to kill at will seems to fill Jasper with both a sense of expectation as well as a sense of apprehension. Jasper's thoughts proclaim his love and his fear of the change; he is distraught at the idea of killing innocent people for his own sustenance, but is also ecstatic at the thought of having the ability to inflict inhuman pain upon people; a deep-seated desire that has long lain dormant within the blond man. Edward has long recognised that Jasper has had an inclination towards the forbidden, the dark part of his soul wanting to create havoc for the sake of creating havoc, but Edward has always chosen to ignore this in favour of the brightness that radiated from his creature. A part of Edward wants the light to overthrow the darkness. The darkness threatens to consume the man he thinks of as his mate and a wave of intense defensiveness, like a mother to its cub, comes to the forefront of Edward's mind. Edward knows that this dark part, this evil, will continue to seep further into his Jasper, seeking to control him, but it is only Jasper that can stop the monster within from rising beyond his control.
The monster growls inside Edward as it too, rises to defend its hold on Jasper. 'Mine!' growls the caged monster, 'He was always mine. Darkness is what he is and darkness is what he will become. You saw that the moment you saw him. He was already dark then.'
Grimly, Edward acknowledges this as the truth. The moment he had seen Jasper walking through the mist, he had known. He had recognised a kindred spirit in Jasper, the restlessness, the covetous nature, the edge of rebellion.
This is why Edward was going to gift him Jimmy. Edward knows his gift of Jimmy is only a mere token, but he hopes that it will ease the transition. A lamb ready for slaughter is not the same as seeking prey for game. He also hopes that his gift of a ready made family in Esme and Carlisle will also help Jasper cross over. Edward is more than a little aware that he is in fact purchasing the price of Jasper's soul before he takes the beautiful man to hell.
Taking a deep breath, he is torn in his emotions that only earlier were back on track. But after hearing the torment that flowed through his lover, Edward is unsure if this is truly what he wants for Jasper. He wants his human, to be sure, but does he want a shell of the man? Does he want Jasper to tread this dangerous path to hell? Hell. Now having faced it's glorious brightness, will his Jasper be prepared to go even further and be changed forever to live as Edward's brightness in this otherwise boring and dull existence? From the hope that rises in Jasper's quotations, Edward fervently hopes so.
"Jasper, please, just listen to me...." Edward pleads, desperate to make his human understand his own revelation. This is to be Jasper's choice. Edward has finally realised this. "Ignorant men don't know what good they hold in their hands until they've flung it away. When you came out that first night, I saw you look at me. You looked at me, you offered your hand to me. You held the light in my darkness. Just when I thought everything was gone, that Isabella had managed to destroy everything I had worked on, that I had planned for; you offered your hand - your fragile human hand; despite knowing what I was. Before the darkness comes the light. You are my port in the storm."
"I am your port in the storm?" It comes out as a question.
Grimacing, Edward nods. "You are my port in the storm." He smiles sadly. "C'est trop aimer quand on en meurt."
"You've said that before Edward. It means, it's loving too much when one dies of it. I thought you were referring to Isabella, but you were really referring to me, weren't you?"
"Yes, and I don't think I am prepared for you to die because of love. I can stay with you, while you are human. You will never age for me, Jasper, you will never fade or wilt with time."
"No, Edward. As an author once wrote, everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion. I choose you, Edward."
A snort breaks through the air. "Can this get any more cloying? A man once said, 'How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.' And bravo, Edward. Playing the unhappy one. Appeal to his baser nature. Bravo." Jane rolls her eyes as the two men gaze at one another. "And you, Jasper. You are only human. Succumbing to the selfish wants of a vampire. You cannot tell me that you have not been drawn in by the tools of our trade. How utterly delightful, and so very gullible."
Making a quick motion with her head, she waits until Alec has the human Jasper in his hands. "Come now, you need to decide. Which is it to be? Death or lifelong death? Quickly, for people wait. I want your answer. But by the by, be warned - once you have been changed, you will come to Volterra with us, for people wish to see you. However, we can wait until after Edward has been dismembered and killed if you prefer. Felix?"
Suddenly fearful, Edward bucks, trying to move the bulky man off his body.
"Now, now - that's not the way to treat a guest." Felix's lips graze Edward's ear and Edward jerks, trying to move away, but to no avail. A low chuckle sounds and he feels the light pressure of Felix's lips against his jaw. "Be nice, Edward," he murmurs, "I will be very nice to you. Or I can be very bad if that is what you prefer." Hands move silkily over his neck, down his chest and in desperation, Edward heaves upward only to bring more of his body in contact with the vampire he's trying to get away from. "Alec said you like things a little rough."
Felix's hand slips over Edward's mouth and aghast, Edward stares wide-eyed at the large, hulking-figure-of-a-man, leering before him. 'No!' he screams, the sound muffled against the man's palm as the man slides down on Edward's body and kicks his legs apart.
Alec's voice is soft and compelling, "Do you see, Jasper? Do you see that this is the only way? You want to save him. You can do that. But you can only do it if you are one of us. A Vampire. Let me change you, Jasper. Let one of us bite you, turn you and then you can save your Edward."
Jasper's eyes move to Edward.
Edward meets his gaze, staring imploringly at the beautiful pale face that is his human lover. Edward waits for Jasper to say something, anything. When he does, Edward's breath is trapped in his chest as he hears what his lover has to say.
"'Death is not the worst that can happen to men.' They can live with the guilt, the blood that pours from their hands. I prayed to God, that Edward would still accept me once he saw through to my dark soul. And now I know that he still cares about me, I refuse to come with you. You cannot force me."
"Do you like hurting, Jasper? I can make sure you hurt," Jane threatens him, but Jasper gives her a small, sad smile.
"You can't hurt me, Jane."
"I think I can, Jasper."
"No. It already hurts when I breathe, which is to say that I hurt all the time. When I think about the betrayal of my supposed lover, the years of his covetous nature staking me, taking charge of my life, manipulating parts of my life to suit him... this is over shadowed by the pure and simple fact that it hurts like fuck inside when I am without him. It hurts when I breathe. And since I am still human... that means all the damned time. But..." he turns to face Jane and Alec, and his eyes that once were haunted are now clear as he takes in the super beings before him. Jasper takes a deep breath before blurting, "I want you gone. You can turn me, or you can leave it up to Edward. I don't care."
He turns to face Alec, his face untroubled by his emotions. "But either way - I am not going with you."
"I am not going to leave that man for eternity without me, without his reason for living, for breathing, for having a justification to his life. That man - that man who has coveted me for a decade - no matter how you spin it, that man has loved me. Me. For ten years. Despite what he knew, despite what he saw, despite my sins, my mistakes... he has loved me," Jasper's voice breaks as tears well in his eyes. "Edward loves me. He has cared for me. He killed a man for me because it upset him to see me hurt by his rejection. He killed my parents who did nothing, but kill my soul since my sister disappeared." He gestures wildly almost erratically, as he motions towards the man kneeling on the floor. "I love that man. I. Love. That. Man. Period. The end. You can promise whatever you think I might want, but you will never give me my life like Edward can. He is my life, my heart and most of all, I love him."
Jasper's voice is soft as he stares at his vampire kneeling hopefully on the floor, held down by a stranger. "So give me my life. Give me eternity with my Edward."
Coldly, a sly smile rises upon Jane's face and Edward gasps as he sees her thoughts. "No, Jane!"
"I know another someone who wants you for eternity. Do you know who waits for you, Jasper? Someone small, who you too have missed for a number of years."
"No Jane, you didn't!"
"Oh, but I did, Edward. I did. I told you I saw him first, Edward. He and Alice were mine, long before you ever came along."
"You! It was you!"
"Actually, it wasn't exactly me. I was still a newborn. It was Aro. But he took her for me. So I would have a playmate." She turns to Jasper, her red eyes gleaming in triumphant glee. "So, Jasper. Do you want to see Alice again? She is waiting for you. She wants her big brother. Isn't family everything?"
Death is not the worst that can happen to men. ~Socrates
The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. ~Milton
Action is eloquence ~ William Shakespeare
Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion. ~ Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself. ~Pubilius
Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another.~ Homer
No evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death. ~Plato.
Ignorant men don't know what good they hold in their hands until they've flung it away. ~ Sophocles