Fic: After the Storm
Rating: M
Characters: Edward/Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Jane, Alec, Felix, Bonnie, Jimmy, Ashley, Alice
Pairings: Edward/Jasper
Chapter Title: Comin' Up from Behind
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Summit and Stephenie Meyer do, no money being made off this. This story mine. Characters of Twilight and associated - not mine. OC characters Jimmy Oaks, Bonnie Simmons, Ashley Jameson - all mine. Don't sue.
Summary: Edward - the vampire figure shimmering through the coalescing raindrops as they pounded on Jasper's pane of glass. Jasper - the human who watches; captivated, yet numb. Jasper questions the price he is willing to pay for Edward's love. AU, OC, E/J
Please Note: Dark Edward, Dark Jasper, M-rated for violence, other graphic content and use of crude language.
Again, thanks to my wonderful ladies! rhenea5018, KuroiBlackNightingale and vampthenewblack
After the Storm
Chapter 10 - Comin' Up From Behind
"Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion." ~ Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
"Jane! Stop that." A new voice rings out and Jasper turns, looking for its owner. Seemingly out of nowhere, two figures appear; one - a man with platinum blond hair and a stern, almost austere face; the other - a woman, strands of hair the colour of caramel coming to rest lightly, softly, around her beautiful face. A face marred only by the look of extreme annoyance and fierce protectiveness shining through her voice. 'They must be vampires, too, moving at that speed,' he surmises as he watches them both saunter in; the she-vamp speaking to the diminutive figure of Jane, "This was not part of the plan, Jane."
"Yes, Jane," agrees her companion, his blond hair moving with his movement.
"I do not have to answer to you, Carlisle. You have no authority over me."
"But this is my area, my claim. You cannot involve yourself here without direct consult first with me."
Frustration is apparent on the young girl's face as she pauses to take in the newly arrived couple. Her gaze moves from them to Jasper, silently assessing all the while, and Jasper shivers despite himself as he feels the cruelty behind those eyes when her look passes coldly over him.
"Edward..." He hears her purr and instinctively, protectively, Jasper raises his head as the hairs on the back of his neck also rise with that smug tone.
"Leave him alone," Jasper finds himself growling and he is most alarmed at the thought of taking on this witch of a vampire, not knowing what power it is she holds over these obviously older and more established ones. Nonetheless, Jasper is prepared to stand his ground.
"Oh, the puppy has come out to play," she smirks condescendingly. "Felix, do be a dear and take out the pup so he can bay and howl at the moon or something instead."
"I am not a dog and you cannot treat me as one."
"Until you become one of us, you are of no concern to me except for that which you can provide: your decision to join your sister in Volterra. Decide and I will take you there. Decide wrongly, and I can have you beaten to an inch of your life before you are turned. Being a vampire has it's benefits and can fix a great many things, like broken limbs for example. But it's how the limbs are broken that can provide you with great pain, and me with a great deal of pleasure. Hmm..." the vampire almost-woman pauses as she muses aloud, "I rather like that idea. Pleasure and pain. How delightful..."
"Leave him alone, Jane. This decision is his, and his alone. You cannot force his hand."
Without turning, she answers the other blond man. "I'm not forcing anything, Carlisle. I'm giving him.... incentive."
"It's coercion; a temptation," he corrects her, his tone acerbic.
"Most people would like to be delivered from temptation," quips Alec, interjecting as he fingers Jane's hair lightly, standing behind his sister in a show of camaraderie. Jasper notes the almost-absent way that young boy seems to do this, and he thinks it's a movement Alec may have had since childhood and one the vampire boy cannot seem to let go of. Jasper finds the emotional tie between the two as disconcerting as their sadistic nature.
"Yes, but others would like temptation to keep in touch. Jane likes to ensure that her games have a sure outcome. Don't you, Jane? Now, let Edward go. Jasper will need him."
Dismissively Jane waves Esme off, but her eyes blaze with an ill-concealed fury as Edward gets up, shrugging off the other vampire's hands, brushing himself off as he walks towards Jasper.
"Jasper?"
As their eyes meet, Jasper notes his own inner self is quite calm, despite being delivered the news that his long-believed dead sister is, in actuality, quite alive. The calm within is what unnerves Jasper; more than the news itself, and more than the events taking place around him.
"It's quite all right, Jasper." Edward's voice is soft, and Jasper looks up to see the concerned gaze of his vampire man. Jasper notes the small smile, full of cynicism, yet he can see the emotion too, and it warms him to think that Edward is more concerned about him - the human - than of anyone else around them. Edward's voice floats over him and he listens to its rhythmic sound, "It's all a surprise to many of us. But listen to me - please. You have to decide. For your sake as well as both of our's and your sister's. Think of me. Think of Alice. Decide for the best."
In the beginning God created man, or at least that is what they say. He created the heaven and the earth; the beasts that walk upon the Earth; the grass upon which they feed; and the trees in which they live. And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. And God looked at His work, and He saw that it was good.
Then He then created Man in a form of His likeness to live in this world with the beasts, and to live within the greater and the lesser light. Nowhere does it say He created vampires.
And that is bad.
At least as far as Jasper is concerned. But he knows; in this world, in this lifetime, - they exist... Surreptitiously, he glances at the coven of vampires standing in the corner of the stables. He avoids the glance of his vampire mate, the one whom he wishes to make his lover in every sense of the word. Instead, he covertly looks at the newcomers: the two who shield - with their body language - the man he knows as Edward Cullen. Carlisle is the one with pale blond hair, Esme is the other with caramel strands draping loosely around her face, quite out of place in comparison with the women whom he usually associated with whose hair was tightly bound. However, neither Carlisle nor Esme were like humans for both had the customary maroon red eyes he had come to associate with vampires.
His eyes floated over their clothing, taking in the fashionable attire, quite unlike the others whom were almost old-fashioned in theirs. A quick gasp escapes him as his eyes meet Edward's and Jasper jerks his eyes quickly away, but not before taking in the sadness in the other man's eyes.
Quickly striding to the opposite side of the stable, Jasper can hear the vampires' voices, and he tries to ignore them valiantly as he attempts to come to grips with the decision Jane is forcing him to make.
"Chose, Jasper. Edward? Or Alice?"
Jasper starts to pace again. On the one hand, there is Edward, the man he loves. On the other hand is his sister, Alice, for whom he has been mourning for almost two decades. One thing is for certain - he will be a vampire. The part about where he might reside for a good portion of his life - that bit is more difficult.
Yes, Alice. His supposedly long-dead sister. Alice. His sister is still alive. 'Sort of alive,' he amends in his mind. 'She is technically a vampire, so really, not so alive.' Felix had told him about Alice, having been handpicked by Aro for Jane's playmate, as well as for her latent ability. It had been torture for Aro, having to place Alice with a trusted human to raise until she was old enough to deem "safe" to turn, to escape the mental deficiencies of being an "Immortal Child", but fortunately for Alice, her abilities worked even whilst human. Fortunately? Dead or to be one of the undead?
Jaspers sighs as he contemplates the rafters above him. One part of his mind notes the quality of workmanship that his father had put into his work; the rafters straight and perfect; the other part of him deriding his choice to mull the differences between Edward and Alice.
Trying hard to not listen to the group quietly conversing in the corner, Jasper seeks refuge and solace in the cracks of the ceiling, but still, their low-toned conversation reaches his ears.
"So, what do you think he will do?"
"I know what I would do. Pick the girl. Kill you."
"What do you think he'll do? I didn't ask about you."
"It's quite clear, really..."
"One will have to lose, I suppose..."
"Does it have to be him?"
"Oh my God Esme! How do you know it's me?! It could be her!"
"Really?! You think it'd be me? Me - Jane, with the trump card of his little sister? I think not! I'll have you know...!"
"ENOUGH!"
Six pairs of red eyes snap to the seething human staring heatedly at them. Frustrated, Jasper glares at the group standing in the corner. "I can hear you, you know! You are not helping to make this decision any easier. Now, please, quieten down so I can think!"
Abashed, they all mutter an apology. "Apologies, Jasper," they chorus, but still their eyes watch him avidly as he resumes his pacing.
"Stupidity breeds contempt." Muttering darkly under his breath, Jasper stalks erratically as he mulls over what he should do. He pauses for a moment, staring hard at the corner of the stables where six vampires eye him warily. Yes, six vampires. With hungry, burgundy, almost-black eyes. He shivers internally at what would happen to him should they deem him to be food.
Again, his eyes unerringly navigate to his vampire, catching the raised eyebrow of his mate in what Jasper can only surmise is a wry raising of the brow. Jasper reads the message as a silent, 'Are you insane?' and with a slight twist of his lips, Jasper returns the mocking glance with pointed glare, and continues to pace. Fraught with mixed emotions, he kicks aimlessly at the bits of straw on the floor, shoving clumps of it to one side, then the other, staring indecision in the face, whilst on the far side of the building, the small group stare fixatedly at the sole human occupant in the stables. Jasper wrinkles his nose at the feel of their gaze. It is unnerving and he tries to ignore them once more.
As Jasper agonises over his decision, Edward and the others watch, speaking in low tones to one another while the man agitatedly paces back and forth.
"So, what do you think he will do?" Edward repeats his earlier question somewhat rhetorically, his voice tight and sounding snappish. He doesn't really want an answer, but the to-ing and fro-ing is weighing heavily on his nerves, and he is still trying to come to grips with his decision to not make Jasper a darker creature than himself, hence the need to make conversation. Anything is better than having to listen to Edward's inner monster raging.
The others seem to sense the pent-up frustration leaking out in both his voice and his attitude and none are quick to answer.
"It's not really a choice, but it's fun while the human thinks there is one. To be frank, choosing his sister and Aro would be his safest decision in my opinion," sniggers Felix.
"I asked what you think he'll do? I didn't ask your opinion of his possible decision," replies Edward rudely. The jesting grates on his weary and already worn nerves, rendering his manners obsolete.
"It's quite clear, really," muses Carlisle and Edward quickly turns, desperate to grab any insight into his lover.
"Really?"
"Yes, he could choose you, and then we can rescue Alice."
"It all depends on what he is prepared to lose, of course," Alec's voice is thoughtful, indicating his inner reflectiveness. "Is he prepared to lose what little goodness he has? Because Aro does not take kindly to those who do not adhere to the code."
"What about you and Jane? Immortal Ones?"
"Oh, you know we are not like Immortal Ones as such. We at least know the difference between what is right, and what is just."
"You call your powers just?"
"I call what those humans did to us unjust. But thanks to them our powers have manifested to what they are. All that pain inflicted on us - our powers are only right after what we suffered. That is just and right."
"You..."
"Does it have to be Edward?" questions Esme, and Edward's heart sinks further at the thought that Jasper might choose Alice. Emotions roil within his gut, twisting and winding in his pervousness and apprehension and when he replies, his tongue is sharp with barely held contempt.
"Esme! How do you know it's me he'll pick?!" Unknowingly, Edward misunderstands what Esme is questioning and the words that follow are intended to hurt her as much as he perceives she is hurting him, "Really, I do think that you are more prepared for Jasper to pick Alice, than you are for him to pick me. If he picks Alice, you think you will just get me on the recovery? Is that it? I will come running to Carlisle, and by default to you? For once, will you stop thinking about yourself and think about my happiness?"
"Oh, this is lovely. Warring families. I think I'm going to win," Jane leans toward Edward, her eyes triumphant.
"Only because you do not wish to disappoint your Master," derides Edward.
"Listen..."
"Shut it, you two. He's leaving." Alec nods towards Jasper's retreating figure as it exits the building. Her face aghast, Jane stares after Jasper before quickly pulling on the sleeve of Felix.
"Dammit! Felix! Go after him."
When the larger vampire does not move, Jane goes to run after the human, determined to convince him to go back to Volterra with them, as Aro wishes. Panicked, Edward dashes after her, aiming to get to her before she reaches Jasper but Alec reaches her first and holds her shoulder firmly. As Jane whirls to face her brother, her eyes stormy, Alec stares his sister down.
"No, Jane. Leave him be," Edward hears Alec say quietly. "Let him decide this. None of us chose this life. He has this chance. Leave him to decide this for himself."
"He'll choose wrongly." Adamantly, Jane states for her case and Edward glowers at brother and sister.
Alec shrugs, with nonchalance in his voice he replies, "Then we'll turn him anyway."
Waiting for Jane, Edward holds his breath, the air still around them, but to his surprise, she stands there with her mouth hanging open. An incredulous look passes across her face before she snaps her mouth closed. "Fine!" she bites out and she goes to turn away, but turns back, admonishingly shaking a finger at her brother, "But you can do the turning!"
His eyes meet Alec's briefly and he gives the vampire boy a small smile of thanks as he takes his sister back to the others.
Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Edward stares out the stable door after his human. "Choose me, Jasper," he whispers, his eyes staring longingly after his lover. "Please."
A shaft of sunshine breaks through the clouds, shining weakly against the hazy drizzle that falls upon open fields. The light rain blurs the landscape, but far beyond, in the distance, a dark shadow is moving against the greenery - the small figure of a lone horse and its rider. Across vast meadows that surround the house and its lake, the horse and its rider begin their large circuit around the lake; its surface mirroring the grey clouds and tiny droplets of water plop down, smudging the reflected image.
Bent hard over the equine's mane, his plain coloured hat jammed upon his head, the rider kicks the flanks of his mount, spurring it into an even faster sprint. The roan responds with a snort and toss of its head before it kicks up large clods beneath its hooves, and the man and horse seemingly float over the grassy banks as they ride hard, leaving the lake for the fields once more. Man and horse race, their speed quickly eating up distance, an indication of the fast pace the rider has set. They are as one as they travel.
The headpiece obscures the rider's face from the weather as the rain saturates them both, yet it does not obscure the horse and rider from the vampire staring intently at them from his place near the house. "Jasper," Edward breathes as his thoughts conflict within himself. Fear, concern, desire, want. His eyes follow their movements as they ride their circuit, first toward the forest, then sharply veering to gallop around an empty field, then back towards the body of water, riding along it's steep banks, and back toward the forest, but almost always, avoiding the return to the large, lonely house and the equally large and lonely vampire man.
His face tight with tension as he watches Jasper ride the horse with his continuous punishing gait, Edward wonders what, if anything, will make Jasper stop. The man has been at this for hours, changing mounts when they became too lathered and it is only this consideration for his stable of horse flesh, a small sign that Jasper is still aware enough, that placates Edward. At least that small sign is enough to stop Edward from tearing Jasper out of his leather saddle and forcing him to stop this ridiculous penance Jasper has foisted upon himself. Brow furrowed as he stares at yet another circuit of the forest, fields and lake, Edward worries at his lip, his fingers pulling at it whilst in contemplation. His human is obviously distraught and he cannot help being concerned at the man's train of thoughts and where this might leave them both. Finally, the man reins his horse in, both breathing hard and Edward can see the small clouds of hot air mixing with the early morning chill.
Edward gazes at the man leading his tired horse back toward the stables. The others have moved into the house, all of them awaiting Jasper's decision within it's comfortable walls.
'He knew the things that were and the things that would be and the things that had been before. I know now what I have to do. I must be cruel only to be kind; Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind. It's over. My time is now. I shall seek my lover and insist on his turning of me. If he rejects me, I shall not know what to do, but I pray that he kills me if he does not take me. Which way I fly is Hell.'
Edward hears Jasper's words. The vampire can hear Jasper's main focus, the idea of Edward turning him. Edward can smell the fear, the distaste and most of all, a sense of guilty anticipation emanating from his desired mate.
The thudding sound of hoofbeats pulls Edward out of his reverie and he sighs as Jasper takes off once again on a fresh mount. Edward bides his time as man and new horse make the start of a new circuit.
When Jasper finally reins the horse in, it's a few feet away from the man that for the past few weeks has been the centre of his universe. Fortifying himself, he takes a deep breath before swinging out of the saddle. Holding the reins loosely in his hands, Jasper searches his mind for something to say, but the words - they are eluding him.
"I get a little crazy when I don't sleep." When he does speak, the words come out as short and sharp, causing Jasper to inwardly wince in anticipation of Edward's take on them.
"Really? I hadn't noticed."
Jasper frowns as he tries to work out how to express how he feels. "Look, Edward, Jane has presented me with a means to an end. I am now meditating about it." He shrugs, a small apologetic motion to his shoulders.
"You call this meditation? I call this running your horses into the ground!"
Jasper bristles at the antagonistic tone in Edward's voice and turns away. "At least I am doing something!"
"Yes, you are! You are running away! Like you have always done!"
Jasper whirls, fury upon his face. "What would you have me do, huh, Edward? What would you have me do? My life - my life has been invaded by your kind. I find out that you had a hand in many aspects of my life, that you had plans that included me, but which you did not decide WITH me. You are a controlling creature. People may call it dark and brooding or find it a charismatic side of your character, but me? I call it a controlling freak of nature. You might as well join a side show. Edward the controlling vampire."
The words are scathing and Edward flinches. Edward tries to rectify what is rapidly degenerating into a full-scale argument - not what he had intended at all. His tone soothing, he tries to placate the situation, "I understand you're angry..."
"Oh yes, I am angry, Edward!"
The words explode from Jasper and Edward's face falls; unwittingly his expression telling Jasper that Edward is at as much of a loss as to what to do, as his human is.
The glare that Jasper sends Edward cuts the vampire to the quick. He opens his mouth, to say something, anything, to Jasper, but quickly shuts it again as he realises there is nothing he can say to Jasper without sounding a fool.
So Edward stays silent, watching as Jasper walks, pauses, turns and paces some more.
Jasper takes a deep breath, expelling it carefully, and Edward is left to watch as Jasper grips his hair and paces, muttering to himself. He watches as Jasper gesticulates, sometimes wildly, sometimes in small movements. All the time, muttering and sighing.
And Edward waits.
When Jasper finally speaks again, it is a direct stream of his conciousness and while Edward listens to both his thoughts and his words, he also notes that Jasper's voice is low and angry; full of loathing, and hatred, and the words hit Edward hard.
"I am angry that you dared to play God with MY life. MY life! Do you understand that Edward? MY family, MY father ran MY life, told me what to do, and for years I tried to do what he wanted, what my mother wanted; to do everything that offspring do because they lost one of them and only had one left. I tried, Edward! I tried to be both children to them. To make them feel like they hadn't lost anything. And do you know what? It wasn't enough! He wanted me to join the army, to serve the family, to show them that Whitlocks fight for their country.
I was taught to be patriotic, that to give up your life for your country is your DUTY! And then when they were gone, I still tried to live for them, to be the son that they would be proud of, because you know what? Everyday - EVE-RY-DAY - I pray. I pray and I hope that they will walk through my front door - their front door - and tell me it was all a mistake. That they aren't dead, that they still live and that they were lost and it's taken all this time to come home because you know what? I am still their little boy.
But I am the son that they forced to grow up. I am still the ten year old that lost his damned sister and that took the blame for her going missing, that was a bad brother, a bad son. I am still that child, Edward. A child that wants to be told that not everything is his fault, that it's all right to make mistakes, that not every mistake is fatal, or wrong or that someone dies or goes missing. I want someone to hold me and care for me, to guide me and let me make MY own mistakes and not judge me, because you know what? I don't want someone who will tell me what to do, who will try to rule MY life. That was my father, Edward, and I don't want my father. I don't want to be my father and I sure as hell don't want my lover, my life, the keeper of my heart to be my damned father because he was an ass! A self-mitigating ass!"
The silence is almost overwhelming after Jasper ends his tirade.
He breathes hard, waiting for Edward to say something. When he does, Jasper finds himself surprised and a little less angry for Edward's words make him smile - just a little.
"I'm not an ass," mutters Edward finally.
The lips of Jasper's mouth curve grudgingly upward. "I didn't say you were. I said my father was."
"Well, how am I supposed to know that? You just said you didn't want your lover, your life, the keeper of your heart to be your father because he was an ass. It sounded like your lover was the ass."
"Well, you're not the ass. My father was the ass."
Silence pervades the air while Edward cogitates, then before he can stop himself, he asks Jasper, "So... I'm still your lover then?"
"If you care to be, then I guess... I suppose so."
Jasper's speech is slow, careful, and Edward nods, absorbing his statement. Another lengthy pause before, his speech decisive and brisk, Edward says with another small nod, "All right then."
"All right."
They pause and stare at one another. For a long while. A long while.
Silence still reigns as Edward moves his shoulders in a semblance of a shrug, but Jasper feels his spirits rise at the small gesture. The breech is broken, the chasm seems less of a chasm and more of a small fault line, and it seems easier to get to the other side. He holds a small grin back from breaking out on his face, but his insides are leaping, exulting at both the relief of getting his words out, and at the fact that he and Edward may have just worked things out.
Then, their pause becomes awkward, uncomfortable even, and the two men stare anywhere but toward one another, their thoughts racing equally through both their minds as they each try to find something that will break this uncomfortable silence.
"Well..." they both start, then abruptly break off as they realise that the other is speaking. Another silence ensues before Jasper decides to break this one first.
"I, ah, need to get the horse inside. He's um, well lathered a bit."
"Yes, yes, you should." Edward's agreement is quick, as is his step backward, to give Jasper space, but Jasper misunderstands. He chances a quick glance at his vampire man, but Edward's eyes are unfathomable and unsure of what Edward is feeling, Jasper turns away quickly, slipping his foot back into the stirrup and getting back into the saddle. He nods once, in forced politeness at the vampire's down-turned head and kicking the horse in the flanks, makes to move away. He wants to get away before the wild emotion he feels in his chest overwhelms him, lest he breaks down in tears, or worse. He is stopped by the pale hand that holds onto the bridle. Blue eyes meet red, hope flaring deep within each.
"You said 'was', Jasper. Does this mean you accept that he is gone?"
"You said he was gone. I accept that. And I - I accept that it was by your hand." Jasper turns his head, looking unseeingly out over the hazy portrait of the rain-soaked pastures; feeling only the intensity of want; the want to make this man, this vampire that he cares for - loves even; the want to give him the reassurance that Jasper himself needs. Taking his heart in his hands, Jasper takes a deep breath and turns back to his vampire man.
Giving Edward a small, and what he hopes is an encouraging smile, Jasper leans forward and speaks quietly, "You're a jealous freak that belongs in a damn side show. And - and - well, you're my jealous freak." The smile that breaks out on Edward's face makes Jasper beam too. 'It'll be all right now,' he thinks hopefully. And no sooner has he thought this than Edward nods and Jasper knows for sure.
Jasper bites his lip as he tries to contain the happiness that radiates within from appearing on his face, but to no avail. With a beaming smile brightening his countenance, and a light laugh, he says shyly, "I'll see you inside, Edward."
With that, Jasper moves the horse away and Edward watches his blond lover as the sun moves slowly downward in the evening sky, and when the rays hit Edward's pale skin, Edward likens it to the sparkle of hope that Jasper has just given him.
Quotes:
"He knew the things that were and the things that would be and the things that had been before." ~ Homer, The Illiad
"I must be cruel only to be kind; Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind." ~Shakespeare
"Which way I fly is Hell." ~ John Milton