Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

The Job

Honey and Mori had been quickly filled in on what was going on, and then it was into position, for the girls would be arriving any moment now. Kai had been instructed more than once to smile and he had steadfastly refused to do so until the girls arrived, simply to spite the situation.

Nothing could have prepared him for the onslaught of yellow that filled the room, or for the embarrassing introduction Tamaki gave him, or for the eagerness of a group of young ladies to sit with him.

'They're all mad. Every last one of them is nuts!'

However, on the outside, he became an instant hit. There wasn't a pale cheek within a ten foot radius of his gleaming smile and smooth compliments.

He winked. They giggled and blushed.

He smirked. They sighed and blushed.

He said, "You're a cute little thing, aren't you?" They nearly fainted in giggles and blushes.

"You're just saying that," the girl said.

"Not so, Sweetheart. If I could tell only one truth, I would choose to tell you of your loveliness."

"How romantic!" they cried.

Another girl touched his arm. "You're so strong, Kai! Do you play any sports?"

He shrugged slightly, moving his arm to rest on top of the couch behind the girl, barely brushing the back of her dress. "None of the coaches want me on their teams. My record isn't exactly sparkling, and I guess they thought I'd be a bad influence."

The girl's face turned bright red. "Then how do you stay so fit?"

Kai turned his face toward her, tilting his head down to meet her eyes. "Well, Sugar, the only motivation I need to keep up my image is that I will be regarded fondly by you ladies."

'Sugar' seemed to be hyperventilating, so he turned back to the others to let her calm down.

"I'd like you even if you weren't so handsome!" one of them cried.

'Sweetheart' drew nearer. "I'll let you be a bad influence on me!"

There was a chorus of agreement and Kai could practically see little pink hearts coming out of their ears. He tilted his head back and laughed, and they all sucked in their breath, gathered in a close circle around him. Kai looked at each of them in turn, smiling roguishly. "You flatter me, ladies. I don't deserve all this."

"Yes, you do!" Sugar cried.

"You really do, Kai!" added a pretty blonde girl who was standing in front of the couch he sat on.

"Thank you, Gorgeous." He took her hand in his and pressed it to his lips, looking up at her from under his lashes. The others squealed. "I'll remember that."

-o-O-o-

"It seems you chose well, Tamaki," Kyoya said a few days later, once all of the girls were gone. It was obvious he wasn't thrilled, and that he would rather Kai had crashed and burned, but Tamaki didn't take notice. He was too busy being proud of his new 'son.'

"I just knew he would be perfect!" Tamaki exclaimed with a grin.

"Well, he's certainly becoming popular with the ladies," Kyoya admitted reluctantly. Unable to contain it any longer, he asked, "You do realize he's probably just using you for some purpose?"

Tamaki's expression sobered. "Yes. But I think… he has a good heart. Whatever it is he wants to get out of this, it must be very important to him. And maybe, someday, we'll know what it is."

"It's probably nothing good, if you ask my opinion," Kyoya said with a sigh, touching his head with his hand. Tamaki and his "feelings" about people and his good will would only make an easy path for Kai Takara. This couldn't end well.

The look Tamaki gave him could almost be considered kind pity, and it surprised Kyoya, as so much that Tamaki did would. "It's my hope that maybe Kai will find that what he's after isn't as important as he thought it was."

With those last gentle words, Tamaki was off calling to the twins who were on either side of Takara, who looked half annoyed, half amused.

Kyoya pushed up his glasses. Maybe he was giving his classmate too much credit. Maybe he was jumping at shadows.

Kai, feeling he was being watched, looked up and met Kyoya's gaze. The new host smirked and narrowed his eyes.

Then again, Kyoya told himself, it's always best to keep an eye on things. Or two eyes, in Takara's case.

-o-O-o-

In the days following, Kai found even more girls coming up to him or peeking around corners to catch his eye and then disappear. Why did they do that, anyway? He supposed they wanted him to be intrigued by their mystery, and thus pursue them. In any case, he was playing his part and nothing more.

"Kai… This is for you…" a shy girl with thick brown hair whispered as she stood before him, holding a note toward him. "My friend asked me to give it to you."

He smiled from his relaxed position and lazily reached out and took the note, making sure to grab it from the side she held so their hands had to touch. She quickly turned and hurried to her seat.

"Thanks, Beautiful!" he called after her, causing a few snickers from the boys and a few giggles and jealous sighs from the girls.

Kai almost stuck the note in his pocket to read later, but decided to ease the boredom of waiting for the teacher to come back into the classroom by amusing himself with some girl's false confession of love.

Kai Takara,

I didn't know how to say this any other way, so I wrote you a poem.

Kai stopped there a moment. Maybe he should rethink this. Poetry? Perhaps he really should put it in his pocket… to burn when he got home. And yet, now he was curious.

Your eyes are greener than jade

I've never seen such a shade

Oh no. Kai glanced up at the girl who had handed him the note. He had assumed the 'friend' she told him about was really her, but she didn't seem concerned at all that he may be reading the poem. She didn't even turn to see the horrified look on his face. Maybe it really was from a friend.

Your hair is so grand

I want to hold your hand

If that girl had written this, she was cruel. Even if she hadn't written it, it was still cruel!

Your lips would be so sweet

Even perfect are your feet

Now even Kai felt he must be blushing, and was very thankful that no one seemed to be paying any attention to him. Then he saw Tamaki looking at him curiously as he walked by. Kai flattened his hand on the desk, hiding the paper from view.

Leaning against the desk in front of Kai, the blonde asked, "What's that? I think your cheeks are a little pink."

Kai glared. "You don't want to know."

This only seemed to make Tamaki more curious. His eyes became wide and he leaned closer. "Yes I do."

"Believe me. You don't."

Kai was saved when the teacher turned from where he had been writing something on the board in front of the class. "Alright, back to your seats, now."

When Suoh was gone and the teacher had started talking again, Kai ventured one last look at the note.

I wish you would be my love

Your hand fits mine like a glove

I'll give in to insanity

If you again I never did see

So please be mine, from ears to toes

I don't care if anybody knows.

-Makana H.

She was already insane. Whoever had written this was completely nuts. Was she seriously offering to have a secret relationship with him to protect his reputation? And more importantly, had she really just complemented his feet in a poem? Kai quickly folded up the paper and slid it into his pocket. He hadn't thought he'd signed up for crazed, poetry-writing stalkers who used their friends to do their legwork.

He didn't know who this Makana was, so he wouldn't have to do anything about it just yet. He hoped he would never have to do anything about it.

What a day...