Author's Note: I have most of this pre-written, I'm just taking forever to update so that way I can continue my procrastination of writing up the rest. I know, I'm awesome.

Once I finally could bear the pain, I sat up. The black hole was gone; all that was left was green, green and more mother-fucking green. For some odd reason the axe was still with me, I don't even remember having it when it sucked me up. But you'd probably forget about everything, too. Clearly I was in the woods, so I figured that I was just out by the cabin. That was until I realized that there was no life out here, except for deer and wild life and nature. Yuck.

I wandered those woods. I went in circles, I climbed over boulders, hell – I even climbed in trees. I could see nothing but more trees. I was fucking lost in the middle of god knows where. My only option? Find a way out. I walked, and I walked, and I walked until I was exhausted and sore. I was half daring to cut my own ankles off at one time. No wonder why girls always complained about shopping.

But this wasn't shopping. This was me finding my way out.

For hours, maybe even days, I walked that damn forest. Every tree looked the same and every smell smelt the same; shit, tree bark, and mud. I just wanted to go back to Forks and live my life the way I liked it. What the fuck did I do to be stuck here? Sure, I was a dick. But hey, aren't we all sometimes? What did I have to do to find a way out? Pray? Fuck.

"No way in hell," I muttered to myself, swinging my axe up and letting it slice its way through a log. I let out a breath and pulled it back out, willing myself to try some more.

And as if God heard my almost prayers, salvation was here. I spotted movement, a body, a man. He was wearing a pair of brown pants and a white button up shirt. He had curly blonde hair and was hauling something behind him. It was a dear. It's thin, boney legs were tied up and hooked by a rope. The man held onto the rope over his shoulder, just pulling the dead dear along him like normal people do that.

I was about to call him out but he dropped the rope and began running. He was cut off by a group of trees and my only option was to try to find him. I picked up my pace, making my sore and tired legs go where my mind commanded them to go.

This guy was like Houdini or something.

He just…disappeared. I tried following his footsteps but eventually they could not be found. I found myself kicking the dirt and cursing. That guy was my last fucking hope! The sound of a shotgun being cocked had my back straightening and my body tensing. I felt something jab against my back.

"What are you doing here?" a man asked with a slight southern accent to his tongue.

"Where is here exactly?" I fired back.

"You're on prohibited land."

I sighed. "I'm not followin' you, bud."

"No humans are allowed in the woods, especially when twilight is a few hours away," he clarified.

What did he mean by humans? Who the fuck says that?

"Look, if you could point me back to the highway or at least a trail or a camp ground, I'd really appreciate that."

"Highway? Trail? Campground?" the guy said it like he was hearing a foreign language. "You're not from around here, are you?" The man pulled the gun away from me and allowed me to turn around. He eyed me with his light blue eyes. He rubbed a hand across his face where there was some hair. He studied me like I was a fucking lab rat.

I hate being stared at.

"That explains a lot," the girls said with a snort, interrupting the story.

I huffed angrily and narrowed my eyes at her. "Really?"

The boyfriend intervened, "Jess, let him finish."

"Thank you, kid."

"Could you, like, stop fucking staring at me!" I shouted at him after trying to ignore it for a minute.

He smiled, two rows of pearly whites showing off. "Definitely not from around here."

"How'd you get here? Better yet, how are you still alive?" he walked back to the spot where the dead dear was, hauling the rope over his shoulder again.

"I'm not sure. One minute I was in a cabin, the next I was here. Where am I?" I spoke.

He looked back at me, his eyes squinting.

"Well currently you are in Erian, which is the safest place to be for a human. I guess you're lucky I found you or else you'd be a meal for some hungry creature."

I snorted sarcastically. "Yeah, I'd hate to be eaten by a bear."

It was his turn to snort. He bust out into laughter, shaking his head and muttering some words I couldn't understand.

"What?" I shouted, irritated.

"Bears are the very least of your problem here."

He continued to pull the disgusting corpse and led me for what seemed like forever to a little cottage. It was like something out a fairytale. Why did I have a feeling that's what I was in? The man and I had not spoken one word since his cryptic reply. I preferred not talking to him. He just made me feel like a moron for not knowing anything.

He brought his fingers into his mouth and let out a high pitched whistle. A brown door opened, but no one came out. The two of us made our way to the door, where he carried the deer into the small little thing.

"Alice?" he called throughout the dainty, little home. A woman turned the corner. At least, I think it was a woman. She was very petite, almost like a little child. She wore a pale yellow summer dress. Her black hair was long and flowed down her back in lazy curls.

"Hello, dear," she said to the man, stepping on her tip-toes to place a kiss on his cheek.

"I've brought dinner," he breathed, pointing at the broken deer behind us.

"I see that, and you've brought a guest," she stated, her blues staring at me. I held back a shudder.

"Yes, I don't think he's from around here," the man whispered. The woman's eyes glazed over, for that second I didn't even care that she was staring at me. That was until she zoned back.

"Ah, yes. He sure isn't. Why don't we go take a seat, come on," she motioned for me to follow her. I did just this, not quite sure what either had planned for me. I found it odd to be here, in a stranger's home, with strangers. These two were very odd and cryptic. I couldn't help but to feel myself grow paranoid. We sat at the small table, it was round and brown. There was a vase in the middle. But instead of flowers in it, it was just full of twigs. I stared at it.

Who the fuck has sticks in a yellow vase? I looked up at the woman who was talking to herself. I knew my answer then.

Crazy people.

"What is your name?" she asked me, her blue eyes wide with curiosity.

"Edward," I muttered, unsure about her.

She smiled and her eyes flashed to the man beside her. He shook his head at her, his eyes full of humor.

"Why did you ask?" he whispered.

She smiled at him. "You may used to me seeing into the future, but he is not. I'd prefer not to have him running and screaming through the forest. Wouldn't you?"

He sighed. "You're right. I apologize." The blonde haired man turned his attention to me. "My name is Jasper. This is my wife, Alice."

"'Sup?" I asked casually, saying the first thing that came to my head.

"'Sup?" the woman repeated, her eyebrows scrunched.

"What's up? You know, what's going? How are you?" What planet was she from? Neptune?

The man, Jasper, nudged her. "Not from around here, remember?"

"Oh! Right! Silly me, I keep forgetting. Edward, where are you from, exactly?"

I ran a hand through my tousled hair. "Forks? Do you guys know where that is or how I could get there?" I asked them, feeling homesick for once in my life.

"Forks? What type of name is that?" Jasper cawed.

"It's a town in Washington. You know, the U.S? AMERICA?" I was starting to get irritated. I just wanted to go home – I was sick of being here.

"There are no places with those names," the woman said nonchalantly.

"Well then Miss. Smarty Pants. Where am I then?" I replied in an irritated tone.

"Velton," she stated with pride.

I scoffed. "Velton? I've never heard of that."

The woman gasped abruptly, turning her attention on the man.

"That must be it!" she cheered.

"What? What must be it?" I asked, freaking out slightly. She turned back to me.

"Another universe! It would explain why you're here. You say you came out of a black hole, correct?" she spoke with enthusiasm.

"Uhm, well, I was, but I never said that I did," I said slowly. This woman was w-e-i-r-d.

"ANOTHER UNIVERSE?" the boyfriend shouted then laughed. "You've got to be kidding me! Jessica, this guy is a loon. Let's go." He started to get up but the girlfriend stayed where she was. Girls – they just can't resist.

"You go," she said, waving him off as she stared at me with anticipation. The boyfriend looked at me, at her and then at the door. He sighed and then sat back down.

"You know, Matt?" I wasn't sure if that was his name. In fact, I didn't care. "There's this thing called common courtesy."

"You're kidding me, right!? You're such a hypo-"

The girlfriend cut him off, "Shh."

I winked at him and ordered another beer.

"It would only make sense. My mother once told me that it was possible for other realms to exist and portal's that would somehow transfer someone from one world to another. I just didn't think it was possible." Her hands were secured over her mouth as she stared at me in amazement.

I could only wish not to be stared at.

"Look, it's great we just found out that fantasy and sci-fi is real, but I just want to go home. Do you know where I can find another black hole to suck me up and take me back?" I asked, my voice desperate.

She pursed her lips, humming as she thought.

"How'd you open the black hole before? Did you say some form of chat? Did you do a ritual? Was any dark magic used?" she interrogated.

"No. I was just with my girlfriend at a cabin in the woods. We were doing nothing wrong," I replied in a whine.

"Are you sure? You didn't do or say anything that might have triggered this teleportation?"

I thought about it for a second, and then it hit me. "Well, I did find this weird looking tube. I opened it and that's when all the ridiculous shit happened." I waved my hand like it was something from the past – well, it was.

"A tube? What do you mean a tube? And what ridiculous shit?" For some odd reason I couldn't help but to laugh at the word coming from her small mouth. She stood up from her chair, pushing it far behind her as her eyes stayed securely glued on mine. She moved until she was sitting beside me. My eyes looked to the side, staring at the man who was suddenly unsure about me.

"Tell me everything. It's very important you do so," she said in a hesitant, cautious tone.

I inhaled, taking in a woodsy smell. "Okay. So I found the tube right? Little pictographs etched into it. Anyways, I opened it up and fog came out of it, as if I had mixed up some bad chemicals or something like that. That's when my girlfriend, Rosalie, screamed. I went to go see was wrong.

"There was window broken, and she was gone. My only guess was that someone had taken her. I'm not sure who, though. And why would someone take a woman out of a cabin through a window? Makes no sense to me."

"A warning," the man spoke up, his eyes brows scrunched up. "My father used to tell me about this."

"About what, Jazz?" the woman purred, her eyes now on him. Thank-fucking-God.

"He read this book to me when I was a child. In it, there was a prophecy about a brave man who would make it so humans were in charge, not anything or anyone else. It was said that the man would be from a different world, with intentions of finding is own home."

The pixie-woman turned her large, blue eyes back on me. "Sounds like you!"

I coughed, "The brave part not so much."

"You, sir, are no coward," the man responded.

"You don't me," I replied.

He nodded his head. "But I do. I've read about you, or at least the things you would do."

"So what are you saying? That this book was written by some sort of Nostradamus?" I asked with great disbelief.

"If this Nostradamus person was an oracle, then yes, that's who it was written by exactly," blondie said.

"An oracle? Like me?" the woman asked.

"Just like you," he whispered.

She looked at him, then at me, and then at him again. "Do you think he is my destiny?"

My eyes snapped to her. "Whoa, what?"

"He could be. Every oracle before you had one, it was only time before you found yours," he cleared up for her.

She smiled at me. "You, Mr. Edward, are in for quite a shock."

"Shock? Hell, lady. I'm living in it. Why don't you to stop this mumble-jumble and help a guy out? How do I get home?" I questioned them, my fists clenched.

"I'm afraid that you won't be going home," she said in an almost dark, seductive tone.

"Excuse me?" I squeaked. "Look, if you two aren't going to help me then I'll look for a way out on my own." I began to stand up, but her small, pale hand wrapped around my arm.

"Edward, I can get you home," she said slowly. "You're just going to have to trust me."

Sure I'll trust you, I thought to myself. Then when you try to stab me in the back I'll be stuck here.

"Groovy," I said nonchalantly.

And Then There Was Cliffhanger Music…