A/N Sorry for the delay I have had writers block, a broken computer and laptop. I would like to apology for not responding to your kind reviews, I will get round to it. I have finally got a new chapter to upload and I will work on correcting the many mistakes to the previous chapters as well.

Disclaimer – Twilight does not belong to me, only the stuff that doesn't appear in Twilight is mine.

Chapter 7 - Goodbye

Things changed after the accident between Edward and me. He seemed to be distance, he didn't spend every evening with me or every night, thought the nights he does stay we do everything but have sex, he also seemed to be spending more time talking to Bella. Alice wasn't saying much either when I asked her about it, she said it's nothing to worry about he's just making sure she won't tell anyone. Alice hadn't lied but to me it was more than that, there was something happening between them.

I let that go for a few weeks until I heard about Edward and Bella having a meal together in La Push from Jessica, Bella had gone missing and hadn't turned up at the Italian where they were meeting to have something to eat, she turned up as they left with Edward who insisted on Bella eating something. When I asked Edward about it he dismissed said it was nothing and I still meant the world to him. It wasn't a lie. The dance went alright we both had fun even though he was missing most of the morning and afternoon.

Then I knew something was up when Bella started to avoid me at school and she stopped asking me round to eat with her and her dad and declined my invitations for them to eat with me. Then the alarm bells went off when she choice to ride with Mike to La Push and back. I needed to talk to Edward and I wasn't looking forward to doing this.

We were lying on the sofa in each other arms when I knew I couldn't put this off any longer, I felt him stiffen and then relax, so I knew he had read my thoughts and knew that I was planning on saying.

"So you know what I'm thinking, which means you know I think things have changed between us and that I think it's because of Bella. So is there something going on between you two?"

"No, not what you're thinking is going on; we haven't kissed or had sex Samson"

"But there is something going on between you two even if it's not of a sexual nature"

"Yes, there is something when we are together, but I get the same feeling when I'm with you. My feelings for you haven't changed"

"but you want to try with Bella, try and have a relationship with Bella, to be in a relationship that the rest of your family seem to have, to not be in a gay relationship" I got up off Edward and stood with my back to him. I wasn't openly crying but tears where falling.

"No, oh I don't know what I want; I only know I don't want to lose either of you. What ever happen is still want you both in my life, I couldn't live without either of you" he stood up and wrapped his arms around me I shrugged him off me.

"I know I couldn't watch you with someone else and I know I can't live without you but don't know if I can share you. You can't go from her to me, you have to chose, am I your boyfriend or your friend. And if I'm a friend then we can't do what we do. You won't be welcomed in my bed any more. I think you should go and decide what I am to you," I was crying now, I felt him step closer to me "Edward just go please"

"Ok Samson, I will do as you ask, I'll let you know my decision soon" and he left.

I was on auto pilot for the next few weeks, yes weeks. In class we still chatted but it wasn't the same as it use to be and he sat with Bella at lunch time. Edward still came round to my house three or four times a week and because I'm an idiot but mainly because I was in love with him I let him in, though we didn't do our thing in the bedroom, we chatted, played the piano or listened to music. Then the day came, it was a Friday evening.

"Couldn't stay away" I smiled at him, three nights on a run, not done that in a long time, he smiled back at me and I let him in.

"Samson, I have come to tell me my decision" his voice was even but that didn't matter, I knew as soon as he finished that it wasn't me, he just nodded

"well then, you can go to Bella then, no point in hanging around with me, I know if I was her I wouldn't want you hanging around with someone else all night"

"Please Samson don't be like that, I still want to be friends, we can still hang out together"

"Edward I don't think I can, I can't turn off how I feel, or even turn it down to just friends"

"Oh Samson." His face was of shock as he saw the image of me crying myself to sleep every night. I stopped thinking about that once his face changed.

"Stop it Edward, stop looking, I don't want your pity. Please leave me alone" crying he walked towards me; I opened the door for him to leave. He stopped and pulled me into a hug, I just stood still, I wanted to rap my arms around him and tell him not to leave me, to pick me, two boys who chose something else or someone else over me. The look in his eyes had changed he looked worried

"Stop that, don't think like that, you will find someone else, Tyler is interested. Promise me you won't do anything silly" his voice was authoritative

"Fuck you, what has it got anything to do with you Edward, you have made your choice. You haven't had to go through anything like this. I've had two men dump me, one for football and another chose a girl. So what is the point, will anybody love me and want to be with me. At this moment in time slitting my wrists is looking very welcoming at the moment considering what has just happen"

"I won't leave until you promise me you won't do that Samson" he sounded like he cared

"Course I won't, I'm not that weak, I'm fucking broken at the moment but I'm not about to top myself over you"

"Good, I'll drop by tomorrow to check on you, ok?"

"No it's not Edward, don't do that. It will be best if you kept your distance for now, I need time" he looked upset when I said that to him, which made me want to take it back and tell him it was ok, but I didn't, it was the right thing to do to ask him to keep his distance for now.

"I'll see you Monday then, at school" Edward stepped out of my front door and turned to look at me

"Monday at school, bye Edward and thanks for letting me know" he gave a week smile and I shut the door on him. I went to my bed and cried, I didn't know when I fell asleep but it was 2 on Saturday afternoon when I woke, I went down stairs to find my mum watching TV. When she saw me I started crying again and she just ran to me and held me. When I finally stopped crying we where sat on the sofa.

"So he finally made a decision then"

"Yah mum and it wasn't me, what wrong with me" I cry out to her

"Stop that Samson, there is nothing wrong with you, he just wasn't sure about how he felt, he probably still unsure, he might realize he has made a mistake and want to come back to you. You know it was wrong to get so close to him when he was unsure about his sexuality"

I took a deep breath and wiped my nose with a tissue my mum gave me "I know but it felt so good, so right, he was the one mum. Richard don't even compare, doesn't come close to the way I feel about Edward. I won't find anyone like him again, and I don't want to be around Edward and Bella, I can do that. I couldn't do it before, when Richard started the bullying and name calling to stop people thinking he was gay because of the amount of time we spent together before it came out I was gay and I can't do it now. I'm going back to LA mum; I don't want to face them I can't." I started to cry again

"Ok son, if that's what you need, if it what you want then you then do it, I only want you to be happy, so do what you have to do"

"Thanks mum"

The rest of Saturday I started packing and my mum organized my return to LA. She left messages explaining about why I was leaving one school and returning to another. What I didn't know was that she called my dad bringing him up to date with everything, as Sunday night he called me and apologized for not being my dad, he told me he loved me and he asked me to move back in when I came back down, he want to be my dad again. I cried again and said I would give it ago but warned him that I was use to living on my own now and we would see how it goes.

Mum had to leave early on Sunday afternoon as she had an early meeting on Monday morning; she was sorry she wasn't around like she would have liked to have been and that I was moving back to LA but understood even if she thought I was wrong to leave.

I waved he off watching her go down the road from the pavement, I turned and saw Edward on the doorstep.

I closed my eyes took a deep breath opened my eyes again and walked to him "Afternoon Edward, what are you doing here, I thought I told you to give me time and that I would see you on Monday"

"I wanted to see you"

"Well you have seen me so you can go, and I'll see you on Monday"

"But I won't see you on Monday will I you're leaving"

"How do you know that, have you been hanging around my house spying on me listening in?" I couldn't keep the anger from my voice

"No I haven't been spying, I got told you were leaving, I'm not going to tell you who so don't ask. So are you leaving?"

"Yes I am"

"Why?"

"Not that it is any of your business but it hasn't worked here, it's too cold and the surf isn't the same"

"I can also tell when people lie to me and you're doing it now"

"Why ask when you already know the answer?"

"I wanted to see how much you love me. If you told me the truth then you don't love me that much. If you lie then you love me enough to not hurt me with the truth. You lied" he smiled; I didn't understand why he smiled, why did he care if I still loved him.

"Because I still love you" he replied to my thoughts

"But it's not enough to pick me. Edward it took all my strength to ask you not to come round to check on me yesterday. And I'm not strong enough to ask you to stop you coming over again, you're like a drug and I love the small moments we have together it makes me so happy. Then on Monday knowing I'm going to see you and Bella together it's going to hurts me so much and in the end the two feelings won't balance itself out. The only way to stop my addiction to you is to go cold turkey, to leave." I couldn't look into his eyes as I was afraid I would break down and I was holding it back at the moment.

"So you're going back to LA" he sounded sad

"Yes" I took a quick look at him then looked back down

"And I won't see you again" there was pain in his voice

"I don't think that would be wise. What happen to us Edward, did we do something wrong?"

"No, we didn't do anything wrong"

"Can I ask you for just two things?"

"Ask me whatever you want Samson, anything" I continued to look down at my feet not wanting to look him in his golden eyes.

"Promise me I'll never see or hear from you ever again" the tears started to run down my cheeks, I wanted him to hold me and tell me he was sorry and that it was me he wanted and that he would never leave me and that it was over between him and Bella. I looked up and saw the pain on his face, yes, it was the right decision to look down at my feet; it was the wrong one to look up at him now. I broke out down sobbing, "Edward please go" I close the gap between us and push him "leave Edward, it hurts too much. Promise me what I ask from you Edward" He let me push him away from the door; I felt his hands on my back and pulled me into a hug. That was the point I was on the verge of backing down of staying. "Edward" I broke down again and I felt my body go weak, he held me up, I looked back into his eyes "please let me go" 'I need you to let me go, please Edward, I can't do it. I know you want me to stay, but I need to go but I can't do it' crying again 'tell me to go' he looked so sad I couldn't go, I needed him to tell me to go 'Edward if you love me tell me to leave' he let go of me.

"Samson" he took a deep breath and looked me in my eyes I cried when I saw his face "please……leave" he let go of my arms I stumbled into my home and shut the door crying 'thank you.'

A/N Thank you for coming back and reading my little story, please review and leave suggestions they will be very welcomed and i will promise to answer you.