Hikari carefully schooled the grin she'd had for the last few minutes as she'd watched Asuka and Toji approach
"After what we've been through, you are going to do this."
"I know you're a man," Asuka sniped, "but if I didn't know better I'd think you had no balls"
Toji was looking up the slope and did not respond.
Hikari had a very good idea what Asuka wanted to ask her about. Between better hearing than she let on, observation and directly or indirectly through the school grapevine, she had a better idea of what was actually going on around her - and what was just rumour - than most people realised. And while her friend may be the smartest person in the room, Hikari thought Asuka would be unlikely to understand people even half as well as she did. Especially when it came to herself.
She had planned on just teasing her friend, but Asuka couldn't have set up this alternative better if she'd been trying.
"Sit" she instructed in her best Class Rep voice.
Asuka sat, fidgeting and blushing. Toji sat opposite Hikari refusing to look at either of them.
Hikari looked from one to the other and said seriously, "I know what's going on".
"So, Asuka, when are you due?"
'I bet you didn't see that one coming,' she thought to herself, 'looks like this is going to be a successful distraction from what's bothering you'.
" and of course I'll help plan your and Suzuhara's wedding, what are friends for?"
Hikari enjoyed the stunned silence for the brief while it lasted.
"You, you, you" spluttered Asuka. "How could you even think that I would ... with that... " she waved an angry finger at Toji
"Especially as I know how you... " Hikari silenced Asuka with a finger on her lips and a glare.
Hikari was rather surprised that actually worked and went on rapidly before she could start blushing, or get interrupted.
"Well, it all adds up."
She starts ticking points off on her fingers.
Asuka calls me last night and says she has something urgent to discuss with me at lunch.
This morning, Suzuhara asks me if I'm available at lunch as he has something important to ask.
Last week Asuka was overheard asking Kensuke for pictures "with the other stooge in them".
Ayanami told Asuka that she would accompany her to the doctor when it was scheduled.
There are several rumours of Suzuhara being seen with Asuka entering the maternity facility.
Hikari takes a breath and switches counting hands.
Suzuhara would of course take responsibility and do the honourable thing
Asuka has noticeably reduced the amount of verbal and physical abuse she inflicts on Ikari-kun and redirected it at Suzuhara.
When both Asuka and Ikari-kun were out of school, Ayanami delivered bentos to Suzuhara with the message "Asuka requested I give you these".
Blushing and lowering her voice from "Class Rep" to "concerned Hikari", she continues:
"Asuka does not appear to have had her period in six weeks, and is apparently not only very well-informed about Suzuhara's manliness, but has him so under her thumb he doesn't even defend it."
Hikari had been too busy going through her list and watching the assorted emotions crossing her friend's face to be paying much attention to Toji.
This inattention was rectified by the sound of Toji literally falling over laughing.
After several moments of unknowingly being glared at by both girls, Toji scrambled back to his feet, still grinning.
"Good on ya, Hikari. I can't wait to tell Kensuke how well you've beaten his 'Shin-man is dating both the Red Demon and the Ice Queen' theory. An' you manage to silence the Demon at the same time."
Toji trails off, finally noticing the looks he's getting, and that he just called the Class Rep by her first name.
Asuka stood abruptly, "Hikari, my dearest friend", ice in every word, "I will talk to you later, after your Important Conversation".
She dug through her bag, "This" dropping a picture face down in front of Hikari, "is what I got from Kensuke. At this point, I don't know if it's revenge for your little stunt or a reward for being my friend." and stalked away.
Hikari watched her friend go and nervously turned the picture over. She looked at the picture. She looked at Toji. Toji looked at the picture. Toji looked at her.
Authors Notes: Yes, every single point has an in-universe explanation.
No, none of them add up to Asuka having Toji's child.
Yes, Hikari knows this.
No, it's not going to stop her.