A/N: Sorry for my inconsistency. I realized I haven't actually put the chapter number at the top of every chapter, so I'm going to start doing that again. And I'll go back later when this is done and do a Master Edit because there's so many little mistakes I miss the first and second time around. Please enjoy this, though! Regardless of any little mishaps you might find.
A GIGANTIC THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO PUSHED ME TO 63 REVIEWS! YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW NICE IT IS TO SEE AN INBOX OVERFLOWING WITH HAPPY, KIND WORDS! I REALLY CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH!
ixamxeverywhere: I do know American Sign Language! I'm fluent in it, actually, and it's awesome! I think everyone should learn it, because it's cool, and if you're learning, that's fantastic. I just find it difficult to describe the signs accurately sometimes, so if you're trying to learn any of the signs, please don't just go off of what I describe. I encourage you to look it up, too. =) Yay for learning!
Disclaimer: See chapter one.
* * *
SIX
* * *
We signed for the entire 5 hour bus ride about everything and nothing. I couldn't help but notice how Cellie seemed more and more excited the closer we got to the school. I, however, grew more and more glum. By the time we pulled into the bus depot, her entire self was practically glowing, while I was the exact opposite.
I felt torn. Part of me couldn't help but be excited simply because she was. The rest of me was upset and somewhat envious because I wanted to make her react like that. I wanted to be the cause of her happiness. I wanted to change her mind, wanted her to want to stay in La Push to be with me.
I had decided early on that this was to be my goal this weekend. I would make her fall in love with me. I already knew she liked me, but I would make sure that she knew what she was leaving behind. I would do everything in my power to get her to change her mind. If she really wanted to leave, she would have to make a serious choice.
I knew it was terrible, but being with and/or around Cellie had made me discover some uncomfortable things about myself, and I had come to terms with the fact that I was somewhat of a selfish person.
And that more okay with me than it should have been. But I was allowed, right? She was my imprint, for goodness sakes. I shouldn't have to endure the pain - and I knew it would be incredibly painful - of having to live without her.
READY? she signed to me, a light behind her eyes that I only ever saw when she was genuinely happy. It cut at something in me.
WHERE WE STAY? I asked, wondering not for the first time about this so-called "friend" of hers.
WITH IZZY, she signed. IZZY'S DORM.
Izzy. Whoever the fuck that was. I sighed. I needed to let go of the attitude as well. I knew she had noticed, though I had refrained from snapping at her or anything like that.
But anyway, my issues dancing all over my face, weaving in and out of my expressions every two seconds, were not going to help me win her over. So yeah, I needed to cool it.
I attempted a smile, and was rewarded by one of her wide dazzling ones. My heartbeat sped up, an unfailing reaction. So she wasn't ticked at me. That was good.
WHERE WE GO? I asked, trying again.
WAIT. TAXI, she replied, and pulled out her cell phone.
Curiously, I watched her, wondering how, exactly, she was going to call a taxi for us. She couldn't very well video-message the taxi service, could she? Or, wait, maybe she could, there being a Deaf school nearby and all. Maybe they had stand-by operators with monitors just for that purpose.
She noticed me watching her, and I signed, HOW?
She smiled, and signed back, WAIT.
I leaned over her shoulder, and watched as lo' and behold, a middle-aged woman showed up on her screen.
Izzy? I wondered, but no.
HELLO, T-T-Y _______. NUMBER, PLEASE? the woman signed. The blank space was a sign I didn't recognize, but I figured it had to be the name of the company or a service or something. I had heard of a T-T-Y before, or seen something about it, but I couldn't remember what it was.
Anyway, Cellie waved, and then signed, TAXI, PLEASE, and gave the woman what I assumed was the number to the taxi company.
THANK YOU. PLEASE, WAIT… and then more signs I didn't recognize.
After a moment, the woman began to sign again, HELLO, _________ TAXI. WHERE YOUR D-E-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N?
Now, I was confused. Was the woman a part of the cab company, or… Oh!
I felt my face heat up as I realized. She was an interpreter! And she was interpreting for Cellie and the taxi company!
Duh.
Luckily, I had made the connection by myself, and didn't have to resort to asking Cellie. I would have felt pretty stupid. Now I remembered that I had seen TTY numbers everywhere on everything. Usually next to the fax number, or something like that. I guess the company differed depending on where you where?
After she TTY-ed us a cab, she proceeded to secure us a bench. The last thing I wanted to do was sit, though. With all of my pent-up anxiety, I actually wanted to run, and wondered if it would be impossible to escape for a little bit later. Like late-late. When everyone was asleep.
Maybe I could phase and no one would notice. Unable to sit still any longer, I jumped up and stretched.
TAXI COME. HOW LONG? I asked, and I'm pretty sure she signed back, 15 MINUTES. Or maybe 14. For some reason, numbers hadn't come to me as easily as fingerspelling had.
O.K. ME GO-TO BATHROOM, I replied, and she nodded.
I actually did have to use the bathroom, but that was only part of the reason I was in here. I paced back and forth between the rows of sinks and toilets. Fortunately, no one was in here to witness my madness.
After several minutes of doing this, I stopped at the last sink, clutched the sides of it, and hunched over while I stared at myself in the mirror. As I suspected, there it was. Everything I felt. Right there on my face. I forced myself to take a deep breath.
"You have a plan, Embry," I whispered. "It's a good plan. It will work. She'll change her mind. She won't leave you. She's not gone yet, so just…"
The door swung open, and I looked over, embarrassed. But if the guy had heard me talking to myself, he didn't let on. In fact he didn't even spare a glance for me. He stepped into a stall and shut it.
Even so, talking to oneself in public was not a good idea on most days.
I took another deep breath, struggled to put on some kind of façade, and when I was reasonably satisfied, I hurried out of the bathroom, back to where Cellie was still sitting.
As I approached her, I noticed that she had earphones in her ears. I hadn't seen those since the first day I met her, and the memory of that made me cringe. I had been such an idiot.
I came around in front of her, so she wouldn't be startled, and I pointed to her earphones.
WHY? I asked, and at that, she blushed, before yanking them out and stuffing them in her bag. I wondered for a second if it was wishful-thinking on her part, and if I was being an insensitive jerk.
And then, we were back to the cheek-biting.
She hesitated and then signed, PEOPLE… THEY DON'T-KNOW ME DEAF. THEY TRY TALK-TO ME… She trailed off and shrugged.
I nodded, understanding perfectly. I could only imagine their reactions. They probably gave her weird looks, not unlike that waitress in the restaurant. Or worse. They teased her like those hateful boys.
I stifled the growl that had built up in my chest, and instead, sat down next to her. I grabbed her hand, a strong feeling of protectiveness momentarily taking over my actions. She didn't seem to mind. Instead of pulling away, she just watched me with pensive eyes.
We sat like that, not signing, until the taxi pulled up.
* * *
Stepping on the campus was like stepping out of everything I knew about the world, and clear into something else that I had no idea about. It was like a foreign country. Except not quite.
Everyone signed.
I should have expected it. Actually, I did expect it. But expecting it and seeing it in person were two different things.
Another thing I had expected was that it would be really quiet on campus. It totally wasn't. Actually, it was extremely loud. We walked past what I assumed was a gym, and once glance inside the large clear windows proved my assumption to be true. An extremely loud buzzer from inside the gym made me jump, and instinctively, I looked at Cellie.
I was surprised to find her looking towards the gym. She couldn't have heard that, but, then… I shot her a confused glance, and she stomped her right foot, silently explaining that she had felt the vibrations of the buzzer.
Well, that was kind of cool, I thought, reluctantly, not wanting to admit that anything about this place was good.
Cellie lead us behind the main buildings to where the housing arrangements began. We walked a little further, and then up a path to building 1410. I held the door open for her, noting the buzzer on the door. It was shaped like a light bulb, and sure enough, when we entered, I spotted lights all along the walls, not unlike the lights Cellie had installed in her house.
She led me past a cozy living room area where a few students sat around signing to each other. A television was on and I saw that the video they weren't really paying attention to was all in sign language too. It was a lot quieter in here, but I could still hear the now distant sound of the gym buzzer.
We walked up a flight of stairs, and she finally stopped at the last door on the right. She flashed me an excited grin, and I smiled weakly back, before she pressed a light bulb button next to the door.
After about a second, the door opened… and then my stomach dropped down to somewhere in my knees.
Cellie grinned as the guy - because yes, Izzy was a dude! - leaned forward without hesitation and pulled her into his arms. I saw red.
As calmly as I could, I reached out, pulled Cellie back and away from him, startling both of them.
I signed, EXCUSE US, and motioned the guy to move backwards into the room. Thankfully, after a quizzical look aimed at Cellie, he did without arguing, and closed the door, so that I didn't have to.
YOU NOT TELL-ME. WHY? I signed, struggling to maintain a hold on my slipping composure.
She shrugged and smiled sheepishly. I-Z-Z-Y MY FRIEND. HE BOY. DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU LIE-TO ME, I signed, a sharp pain shooting through my stomach at the fact.
NO, she shook her head, but guilt was all over her.
WE NOT STAY HERE, I said, and started to make my way back. She grabbed my arm, but I pulled it out of her grasp. NOT STAY HERE, I repeated.
Cellie rolled her eyes. E-M-B-R-Y PLEASE -
NO, I signed, furiously. NO, NO, NO. WE NOT STAY HERE.
Cellie crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. I-Z-Z-Y MY FRIEND.
YOU NOT TELL-ME IZZY BOY! I argued. She bit the inside of her cheek.
DOESN'T-MATTER, she signed again, glaring at me.
C-E-L-L-I-E, I signed, fighting the wave of nausea that threatened to overwhelm me. ME NOT STAY HERE. YOU CAN PICK. YOU STAY HERE… OR WITH ME?
She narrowed her eyes at me before crossing them and sticking her tongue out. But I wasn't in the mood to play games. She must have sensed that because she quickly changed tactics.
FINE, WE STAY WHERE? she signed.
Inside, I danced a happy jig in triumph, and relaxed marginally. That was enough to pass on my suspicion that Izzy was more than a friend. On Cellie's part, at least.
Cellie called us a cab and half an hour later, after Cellie said her goodbyes for now to Izzy, we were pulling up at a hotel. A motel, really, but it worked.
With my savings from work, I was able to get us a decent motel room. I could have paid for two, but I wanted to share with Cellie, so I pretended I didn't have enough for that. I did get us two beds, though. I felt I would be pushing it with just one.
NOW WHAT? Cellie asked, before crossing her arms.
EAT? Iquestioned, smiling sheepishly. Now that we were back on my terms, I felt a lot better. But I started to feel kind of stupid, too. We were fifteen minutes away from the school now, and I had to pay for a cab ride back.
I did, though, while she rolled her eyes. I ignored that, and somewhere I realized that I was doing a very bad job of getting her to fall for me.
Therefore, as soon as we got back to the school, I grabbed her hand, and I walked her back to Izzy's dorm room. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the button on his door, and he opened.
HI, he waved, smiling happily, though his smile faltered when he spotted our still joined hands.
HI, I replied. SORRY, BEFORE, ME RUDE. WANT TELL-YOU SORRY. MY NAME E-M-B-R-Y. ME HER (pointed to Cellie) FRIEND.
To be honest, I worried for a second if he would have trouble understanding me. The only other person I had signed to besides Cellie was her mother, but she was hearing. It wasn't the same at all. I could always fall back on talking to her if there was something I didn't understand. But here, there was nothing to fall back on, except my enthusiastic attempts at charades. Which were, to be honest, kind of embarrassing.
But it turned out, I didn't have to worry about any of that. Izzy just grinned at me, and stuck out his hand for me to shake.
Okay, so maybe I had overreacted and misjudged the guy. He seemed pretty cool. Maybe. I resolved to keep an eye on him and see how he acted around Cellie.
For the afternoon, Izzy gave Cellie and me a tour. It was mostly for my benefit because I was sure Cellie had seen it all before, though she did ask a lot of questions. Even though Izzy was mostly signing to me, I found it hard to pay attention, as most of my attention was on Cellie.
The way her entire demeanor lit up when Izzy answered certain questions she had, or when she spotted something that captured her interest was kind of heartbreaking. For me, I mean. The way she beamed when a student who was lost asked her for directions made me want to kiss her, and drag her home kicking and screaming over my shoulder all at the same time.
Izzy finished up our tour asking if we wanted to return to the cafeteria for dinner - that's where we had eaten lunch - or go off campus? Cellie shrugged and turned to me.
But I turned to Izzy and signed cordially, THANK YOU, BUT ME AND C-E-L-L-I-E… WE GO-TO DINNER. WE NEED TALK. NICE TOUR, THANK YOU.
I smiled to let him know there were no hard feelings between us, and he lifted his fist to bump against mine. Surprised, I bumped fists with him, though that was something I had only ever done with Quil and Jacob. I had relaxed today so that I almost didn't feel territorial when he hugged Cellie goodbye.
Except I did. A little bit. I couldn't help it.
We caught a cab back to the motel where we agreed on pizza. She walked in ahead of me, and I pulled out my phone as I entered after her. I closed the door, ordered the pizza. I ordered 5 of them, hoping she wouldn't comment too much on my appetite - she and Izzy wouldn't shut up about it during lunch - and two 2-liter sodas.
When I hung the phone, she had collapsed on the bed furthest from the door.
TIRED? I signed, grinning.
She shook her head, but in the next second her tell-tale yawn gave her away. I laughed and she slid her shoe off to throw it at me. Not thinking, my hand shot out and I caught it, unintentionally displaying my inhumanely fast reflexes.
Her eyes widened, and I winced internally. On the outside, I grinned.
ME NOT TIRED, I signed back, after setting her shoe on the floor. I sauntered over to where she was leaning back on her bed, held up by her elbows, and she grinned up at me.
She scrambled backwards as I came closer to her, predator-like. She grabbed the pillow nearest her, and hugged it to her chest.
STILL TIRED? I asked. She nodded, still smiling widely, as she pressed her back to the wall, as far from me as she could get.
I smiled back at her from where I was standing, now at the foot of the bed. Then, I began to crawl up the covers towards her. She made a squealing sound, and covers her eyes with her hands. I laughed, and when I reached her, I tugged her hands from in front of her face, but she kept her eyes closed.
ME CAN'T HEAR YOU, she signed, eyes still closed and a gigantic smile on her face, and I laughed out loud. Of course, she couldn't 'hear' me with her eyes closed.
But she could feel me.
Before I could think about it too deeply, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers, sighing when I made contact. Her eyes fluttered open at this, and then closed immediately again as her entire body relaxed.
Daringly, I moved my hands, so that they were resting on her waist, and then I slid them upwards, along her sides until they came to rest on her shoulders. Without breaking our kiss, I pulled her over and on top of me, so that her legs straddled my waist.
My hands moved freely along her backside, and I felt my body temperature grow even hotter as I lowered my hands to her bottom. She made a soft little noise in the back of her throat, and grinded her lower half into my pelvis in response. I gasped, and pulled her tighter against me.
I could feel her smiling against my lips, and I growled in a low voice. I took my right hand, and trailed it upwards until I reached her breast. Hesitantly, I let it hover over her chest for a few seconds before I touched it lightly through her shirt. Her eyes flew open, and she stared at me, but she didn't stop me. Growing more confidant, I touched it again, and squeezed lightly.
This time she moaned, and I wondered what it would feel like if I touched it underneath her clothes. I pulled my hand away, and started to creep underneath her shirt with my other hand when a knock came at the door.
I groaned, and then moved off of her.
P-I-ZZ-A, I signed, in answer to her dazed expression.
NOT HUNGRY, she signed back, and made a to pull me back down, but I gently untangled her hands and shook my head.
And that wasn't an easy thing to do, believe me. But I made myself.
We ate the pizza in relative silence, as we left each other alone with our thoughts. I had no idea what she was thinking, but I wish I knew. I wondered if my plan was working at all. So far, if it seemed more as if I was trying to seduce her, than trying to get her to fall in love with me.
I couldn't help it, though. She made me hot. And we were alone in a motel room. I was kind of afraid of how far we would go. How far did she want to go? Was sex legal with a sixteen-year-old?
I sighed. Was it okay to even be having these types of thoughts?
In retrospect, it probably would have been better if we had gone ahead and stayed with Izzy.
We finished our pizza and jumped on each other once more, but I was careful this time. I didn't try to touch her beneath her clothes, and I made sure we slept in separate beds. Because when it came down to it, I didn't want her to want me for my amazing sexual skills, or whatever. I just wanted her to want to be with me. The same way I just wanted to be with her.
* * *
The following day was more fun than the first, and it was surprisingly not awkward. We held hands, except I felt a difference to it. It wasn't a, 'I'm trying to get somewhere, so let's hurry up and go,' kind of holding-hand thing. It was more, 'I just want to hold your hand.' Initiated by me, and once or twice, by her. I wonder if she realized we were acting more couple-like, and if not, when she did notice it, if it would cause her to pull away. I waited, I watched her, and I hoped.
On the way back, she slept mostly, and I watched her sleep, cherishing the moment. I had never watched her sleep before, and it was kind of amazing. Her face was completely unguarded, for one, so whatever she was dreaming showed all over everywhere. I never saw it that way during the daylight. Something in me grew sad as I realized that she was still quite guarded with me, and though I knew basics about her, I still didn't know everything like I wanted to.
Like I knew Izzy was her friend, but how exactly, did she meet him?
And I knew her mom was a single mother, but when and why did that happen? Was her father alive? Was he dead? Did they know? How did Cellie feel about that? I had a vested interest in that one, actually, seeing as how I knew next to nothing about my own father. It was something else I figured we might have in common, as heartbreaking as that was. But still.
Did she have any friends in the area? Who else did she talk to in La Push? Who tried to talk to her before I had? Because it was impossible that no one else had. And where were they now? Why hadn't they stuck around? Because how could anyone look at this person once and not want to stay around her forever? How could anyone not want to try to know her?
It pained me that we had been hanging out for a while now, and I still didn't know the answers to these questions.
But, I thought as I looked down at her sleeping form once more to find that she had snuggled into my body, one hand on my chest and her head on my shoulder, I would find out everything.
Amazingly, we made it back to the house without detection, and I was more than a little surprised that her mom had believed her so readily just because she was with me. I didn't understand why she had so much trust instilled in me, but I was glad that she did.
I let myself back into my house to find that my mother wasn't home. Typical. Working late again. My mind immediately went to regret that I hadn't invited Cellie over, but I squashed the thought quickly.
No, Embry. That kind of thinking is nice, but it won't get her to stay.
What I needed to do was something grand and romantic and boyfriend-like.
Absently, I crossed the room to check the phone messages. Nothing important, another nothing important, and then a message from my job informing me that I was fired because I was a 'No-Call/No-Show' for two days in a row, meaning that I didn't call or show up. A total lie.
I called them back and asked to speak to Miss Monotone. They asked who was calling, and when they found out it was me, she had conveniently just stepped out of the office. What the hell? I know I wasn't exactly a model employee, but she really didn't have the grounds to fire me.
Annoyed, I trudged up to my room, deciding to tackle my weekend homework. It wasn't dark yet, and I still needed to check in with Sam and the crew. I didn't have time to go all the way to Port Angeles to get this mess straightened out, so I would just deal with it tomorrow after school.
* * *
The following day, I was tired as anything. Walking around a campus for two days can take a lot of you. Even if you're a magic wolf-man, apparently.
In class, I could barely keep my eyes open. It was really anybody's guess how I managed to absorb all of this information without actually paying attention. Sometimes, it annoyed Quil, but it wasn't exactly a skill I could teach, so there was nothing to be done about it. Except use it to my advantage, of course.
After school, I headed to the supermarket, and headed straight to the back to view the schedule for the next week. I wasn't on it. Surprise, surprise. I asked around for Miss Monotone, but she had to step out for something, or other. I waited around for a little bit, but she didn't come back, and I had homework to do.
Whatever.
I went to Emily's, seeing as I had no plans to meet up with Cellie today, and hung out with the boys for a bit. They, of course, wanted to hear all about my weekend, so I told them. Omitting some details, but purposely including - and embellishing - on others. Like how I totally made it clear to Izzy that Cellie was my girl and that he should stay back. With fisticuffs and mad growling. They got a kick out of that, and I had fun exaggerating, knowing that the truth would come out of my head anyway when we all phased.
After everything, I went home and collapsed on the couch next to my sleeping mother. I really needed to think. My first priority was getting Cellie to stay. Since I hadn't gotten behind on my grades, I was graduating early in approximately two months. January was my deadline for this, and it was nearing the end of October now.
Sadly, my job was the third thing on my list, after Cellie and graduating. Still important, of course, just not as.
I wanted Cellie to stay. I wanted to show her how wonderful life could be with me. I wanted so much. I just didn't know how to attain it.
Rachel and Emily both agreed that I should take her on a romantic date, but that presented problems in itself. What kind of date could you take a Deaf person on? Certainly not to the movies. She wouldn't be able to understand what was going on, and I couldn't exactly interpret the entire movie for her. I mean, if she really wanted to go, I would try of course, but it wasn't a practical idea.
I wouldn't want to go out to eat again either. We had been there, done that. Plus, it just brought up unwanted memories. La Push, Forks, Port Angeles… they were all much too rainy for a picnic. There was no way I would ever take her cliff diving. And she had been to the beach before, of course, so I really couldn't think of anything.
It was kind of disheartening, but I refused to give up. Instead, I got online. Maybe there was something further away, like in Seattle, that she might enjoy. There were certainly more opportunities there, it being a bigger, more busy place and all.
I looked up recreational activities and found theatres, museums, zoos… A zoo. I laughed to myself. If she wanted to go to a zoo, all she needed to do was come to La Push and step into the woods. We had a variety of attractions, featuring giant wolves and the occasional vampire.
I shuddered and put the idea out of my mind immediately of Cellie running into a vampire.
I skipped over the zoo idea. I needed to find something that she didn't have to hear to appreciate. Something that was mostly visual appeal. An art show, maybe? A circus? She would like those, probably, but it wasn't exactly what I was looking for…
I scrolled down and spotted a link with a picture of a man dressed like an imaginary creature. Or, if not imaginary, definitely no creature I had ever seen before. It was colorful what he was wearing. But what he was doing was even more impressive. He was hanging from a tightrope by one leg. Or, his ankle!? Whatever it was, it was pretty wild.
I clicked on the link and it brought up something called, 'Cirque Du Soleil.' I had never heard of it. More browsing revealed that it was French for, 'Circus of the Sun.' But it involved no animals, whatsoever. It was all human, almost entirely visual (except for the music, of course), and it was absolutely perfect. I grew giddy at the thought of taking Cellie to see it.
I looked up ticket prices, and they were a little pricey, but I could afford it, having worked like a madman for the past few months. I picked a Friday night that was coming up in about a month, and as a result, our seats weren't great, but it had to be sooner than later. I considered myself lucky that it wasn't completely sold out.
The next time I met Cellie at the library, that Thursday, I couldn't contain my excitement. She knew immediately that something was up, and the questions didn't stop until I told her it was a surprise.
I had also decided to begin my… wooing… for lack of a better word. I had stopped at a flower shop in Forks for a red rose, and gave it to her when we were seated comfortably at our round table. I got the blushing reaction that I had hoped for.
The next week I brought her a pink seashell I had combed the beach for. I learned the sign, PRETTY/BEAUTIFUL, that day, and I think I scored double points when I used it on her later on if the rewarding kiss was anything to go by.
The week after that I gave her a small wolf carved out of wood that Jake had made before he left. He had given one to Quil, too, and to be honest, I almost didn't accept it. Though, I didn't grow it away later, either. Now it came in handy, and I gave it to Cellie. She loved it, naturally. But unfortunately, it brought up uncomfortable questions that I wasn't ready to answer yet.
It also brought up food for thought that I didn't particularly want. Like the fact that Jake had abandoned us to go live with the leeches. Because he imprinted on a hybrid of one, apparently - a fact that didn't make any fucking sense to me. I found it disgusting, actually. And I wasn't the only one. No one could accept it. The elders were especially dumbfounded. They couldn't understand how a half-vampire/half-human (though I had doubts about Bella, sometimes), could help breed a strong race of shapeshifters.
But, whatever. He was the one who had to put up with the stench 24/7.
Anyway, Cellie loved the gifts, and I figured I'd keep 'em coming as long as I could. If she decided to go, they would be things to remind her, and hopefully make her miss me and La Push enough to come back.
Two days before the show, I asked her if she had plans that Friday, but I already knew she didn't, because Noelle had asked her to keep that day free. And then, in accordance with our plan, told her nevermind just last night, that she didn't need her that day after all.
So, it wasn't a surprise when she smiled and signed, NO. ME NO HAVE PLANS.
I grinned in response, dying to give it away. I knew it wouldn't ruin anything; she would still enjoy the show. But I didn't. I wanted to see the expression on her face way too badly when we arrived at the show.
Her mom was cool enough the day before to invite me to spend the night, knowing that we had to leave somewhat early for the bus ride to Seattle. It was only like 3 and a half hours, but still, my nerves were on edge enough. I didn't want to worry about meeting up and getting to the bus on time. And I knew Cellie wouldn't understand my urgency if she didn't know where we were going. It was better to just be with her.
Plus… I got to spend the night again.
That, in itself, was enjoyable for many reasons, including the fact that she snuck into the basement where I slept this time, so we didn't exactly have to be quiet with each other. Especially after she informed me that her mom wasn't a light sleeper, like mine was.
Yeah, definite plus.
Though we still didn't do anything R rated. I mean, I didn't want her to think that was all I wanted from her. Even though I really, really wanted that, too. Also… part of me wanted to keep her guessing and waiting for it. At this point, I was ready to do almost anything to get her to stay. I could feel the time passing by acutely, and it hurt knowing that when I woke up in the mornings, she was one day closer to leaving.
After all, she hadn't said anything about changing her mind, yet.
She went back up to her room reluctantly, and I went with her, with the explanation that I wanted to stay until she fell asleep. She blushed at that, and tried to talk me out of it, but I refused to be deterred. And finally, she signed, whisper like, WHEN ME SLEEP… ME SIGN.
She signed in her sleep.
If that wasn't the coolest fucking thing ever, I didn't know what was. Of course, after that, there was no way I was going to stay downstairs, and she sighed, reluctantly gesturing for me to follow her.
We reached her room without her mom waking up, a fact I still marveled at. I only wish my mom slept that heavy. But then, I wondered if it had ever posed problems. Who would hear Cellie when she cried out in her sleep? If, in fact, that's what she did. Did she sign the word, 'help' when she had a nightmare, or did she scream?
I decided to stick around a little bit afterwards, knowing I was taking a risk, but unable to help it. I wanted to make sure she was okay. And I was curious.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, nothing happened. No screams and no signs either. It was a good thing, I supposed, but now I had nothing to tease her about. I grinned, and then pulled her close. She didn't even stir. Same as her mom, it seemed she was a heavy sleeper.
I watched her face. Again, I loved that her face was totally relaxed in slumber. Innocent and defenseless. I tightened my grip, and ran my fingers through her hair.
I think it was then that I realized.
"Please don't leave me," I whispered, holding her tight, and safe, and close.
Because honestly, I didn't know if I could handle someone I loved leaving me again.
* * *
A/N: So, it's getting harder and harder to churn out chapters, and part of the reason is because I feel disheartened. Reviews have been lacking, and I don't understand why. I'm not trying to be conceited, honestly, but if I got half as many reviews as people who have added me to their author and story alerts, this story would have well over 100 by now, and that's saying something.
Is there a reason you guys who add me to your story alerts and author alerts just move on and don't review? Because like I keep saying, I would really REALLY like to hear your opinion. I cherish EVERY review I get, and I try to reply to EVERY one, unless I can't because of private messaging blockers, or something.
So, I'll ask you again… IF YOU CAN TAKE THE TIME TO ADD ME TO YOUR STORY ALERT LIST, AND AUTHOR ALERT LIST, PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO REVIEW AS WELL. I'm taking the time to write all of these chapters (17-20 page chapters) FOR YOU GUYS, and honestly, I would be happy with just a one-word reply. If it's too much to ask, then let me know that, too. If you have any complains, let me know that, too.
That's all. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
- FadingSlowly