Disclaimer: See chapter one.
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NINE
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So maybe I was being a little presumptuous when I had figured Cellie would come to me. I mean, it was a lot for someone to take in. Hell, it had happened to me, and at the time it had taken a lot of convincing before I believed it was real.
Besides, Emily had said that I shouldn't take it for granted that she would get over it. This was a big deal. Especially since I had shown her in a very shocking way, and we already weren't on good terms. I mean, she had called me a monster. And that hurt. More than her flinging the word, 'hate' at me. Actually, maybe the two were pretty even.
Anyway, I should go over to her house, Emily had said, and intercept her thoughts before she came to her own conclusions about my other form and decided that she wanted me out of her life for good. I needed a chance to explain myself.
That, of course, was easier said than done. It helped that Noelle was cooperating with me, in the sense that she took my calls and asked Cellie every day if she wanted to talk to me via TTY. But Noelle didn't know the full story.
And plus, part of me still harbored the notion that Cellie would come to me when she was ready, despite all the sense that didn't make. I had gotten to know Cellie. Better than I thought I did. And everything I knew about her pointed me in the, 'wait for her to make contact first,' direction, even though Emily had a point, too.
"What if you explained it to her?" I asked pitifully, giving Emily my best puppy eyes. "She might listen to you."
"She might," Emily agreed, "But that wouldn't necessarily cause her to come running back in your arms."
I sighed, knowing that what she said was right. This had to be all me. She was my imprint, my life, my responsibility. And I owed it to her to put myself out there, make myself vulnerable, and try.
CELLIE. ME KNOW YOU ANGRY. ABOUT SCHOOL. ABOUT ME. PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN. ME TELL YOU EVERYTHING. ME SORRY, MUCH.
I added that I would be at the library that Saturday, all day (not working, but waiting) if she wanted to talk. And then I sent her the video message.
Five minutes later, she responded with a text message.
NO
My heart sank. Now what could I do? What could I offer her to ensure that she would give me a chance? I sighed.
I knew what she wanted, of course. To go to school. To that Deaf University. I could talk to Noelle, convince her - or try, anyway - to at least check it out. Maybe if Cellie couldn't go now, she could go in the summer. Or next September.
Or in two years, when she turned eighteen.
No. I had to stop thinking like that. It was past time for me to put aside what I wanted for Cellie's happiness.
In fact, I needed to go above and beyond.
"Emily, can I use your laptop?" I asked and shooting me a quizzical look, she went to get it for me.
It was time to go to work.
* * *
I rang the doorbell, filled with more than just a little trepidation.
The door flung open, and for a second, everything in me was alert and happy simply from the proximity of her. For just a moment. Then, she glared and made to shut the door in my face.
Quick as lightening, I reached out to stop her, and surprised, she took a step back. She recovered fast, however.
NOT WANT SEE YOU, she signed, hatefully.
I attempted to swallow my anxiety. It didn't work.
ME NOT HERE SEE YOU, I replied, shakily. YOUR MOM, WHERE?
"Hey, Embry!" Noelle came to the door in that moment, all smiles. And it was nice that someone was happy to see me. I just wished it was the daughter instead of the mother.
She thrust a packet of papers into my hands. "That's everything I could dredge up," she added, as Cellie's eyes widened.
MOM! She pointed at the packet in my arms, and turned to her mother with accusing eyes. MINE!
YOU LET ME BORROW, Noelle signed.
ONLY YOU, NOT EMBRY, she replied, and I felt the stabbing sensation all along my midsection. Noelle only rolled her eyes.
YOU ACT SAME-AS CHILD, Noelle signed, meaning she was acting childish.
Cellie glared at both of us. YES! ME SAME-AS CHILD. WHY? YOU NOT LET ME GROW-UP! Then, she turned and stomped all the way down the hall, up the stairs, and I guessed to her room. Seconds later, a door slammed, confirming my suspicion.
"I'm sorry about this," Noelle said, helplessly.
I shrugged and she looked at me curiously.
"I don't suppose you're going to tell me what you plan to do with those? You're not going to burn them or anything, are you?" she asked, gesturing to the packet in my arms.
"I'll bring them back soon," I said, purposely evading her first question, with what was hopefully a reassuring look on my face. It felt more like a grimace of pain from the inside.
I left the house, brave-faced and heavy-hearted. I really hoped everything would work out like I planned.
* * *
"I have to admit, these are rather impressive, but I'm afraid they're not up to our standards."
A pool of dread settled in my stomach.
"What's wrong with them?" I asked, not a little defensively.
"Don't get me wrong. They're brilliant how they are. Full of expression and the amount of emotion that is visual is astounding," he said, quickly.
"But…?"
"But, they lack technique. Looking at these, it's painfully clear that there has been no formal training involved, whatsoever."
"So… what do you suggest? Formal training? Like… classes, or something?" I raised my eyebrows at the irony he was presenting here.
He apparently caught my meaning because he smiled. "There are classes everywhere for small-scale things like this. I'm sure there are more than a few available in Forks. Probably even at your school, that you just aren't aware of. Forks is near Port Angeles, correct?"
I nodded. No point in telling him I actually went to school on the rez. This wasn't about me.
"What school do you go to?" he asked. "That is… are you still in high school?"
I grinned. I totally didn't look it, I knew.
"Yeah. I actually go to school on La Push Reservation," I replied. So much for it not being about me. He did ask, though.
"That would be an excellent place to start."
"So, if she takes these classes, then next Fall - "
"There's a very high chance she'll be accepted," he finished with a smile.
I grinned.
"Awesome."
* * *
I was taking a gigantic risk by appearing to her in my wolf form again. But if this was going to work out, she needed to understand that I was ready to accept all of her… and in exchange, she had to accept all of me.
It was 10:58 pm, and I had asked her to look out her window at 11:00 pm sharp. Part of me didn't think she would, but another part insisted her curiosity would get the best of her.
Nervous as hell, I picked up the sign I had prepared beforehand, holding it up carefully with my oversized teeth.
At exactly 11:00 pm, I saw Cellie's window curtain flutter. For a moment I was terrified that it would be her mother and I'd have to abandon my plan and run away.
But my fears were for nothing because the curtain was yanked aside a moment later, and there stood an astonished looking Cellie framed in the window. I watched her lips move as she read the sign.
YOU WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL? OKAY. NO PROBLEM. YOU WANT THE DEAF WORLD? OKAY. NO PROBLEM. I'LL HELP YOU. I'M SORRY. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. NO MATTER WHAT.
I held it there until I was sure she had read the entire thing. Then I dropped that sign and picked up the second one.
I LOVE YOU, CELLIE.
I dropped that one and winced. Now, on to the awkward part. I phased. Right there outside, in front of her bedroom window, in full view of anyone who chose to drive by. Luckily, no one did.
I quickly pulled on the shorts I had tied around my leg. This was the flaw in my plan. I didn't want to bound away into the woods to phase because I didn't know if she'd still be in the window when I got back. It was entirely plausible that she would have run away in the seconds those seconds I would have disappeared. And honestly, I rationalized, it's not like she hasn't seen me sans clothing before.
Yes, Embry, my brain interrupted, because naughty touching in a hotel room is so the same thing as playing NAKED Lycanthropic Romeo to her Juliet underneath her window completely made visible by the light of the waxing moon.
Okay, so it really doesn't compare. On any level. Whatever.
Although, if I was more of an exhibitionist, it would have been a great way to show her exactly what she's been missing…
I shook my head and banished the thought, wishing I could get rid of my embarrassment as easily. Now was not the time for those kinds of thoughts. Really.
COME HERE, I signed, daring to look up at her window. Except… she wasn't there.
I didn't have time to register my panic and utter disappointment because as soon as the words, 'Epic Fail,' shot through my head, the front door started to open, relieving me of my short-winded stress.
And there she was in her doorway, looking at me with apprehensive eyes. I didn't move. I had the feeling that if I moved, she would run away. Like a deer.
So I stayed as still as I could. Which was a challenge considering how badly I wanted to touch her, how badly I wanted to pull her to me and never let her go. But I was slowly learning that Cellie would never be exclusively mine the way I wanted. She was a person outside of being my imprint. She had wants, desires, and dreams. And my job was to help her achieve her goals, and to be whatever she needed me to be, not to hold her back.
Eventually, everything would fall into place the way it was supposed to.
So I stopped moving.
And she came to me.
* * *
It was funny the way she wouldn't stop staring at me, though I pretended not to notice. But it was as if she thought I would explode into my furry counterpart if she took her eyes off of me for a second. I didn't laugh, though. I wanted her to look at me; I had been deprived of her attention for too long.
It was Saturday again, and I had her by the hand. We had just spent a surreal night together doing nothing, but signing. It was difficult trying to explain the Quileute legends to her in ASL, but together we had struggled through it, though I still wasn't sure how much she actually believed.
I told her everything about everything, including imprinting, and that was the part I was most nervous about. But she took it in stride, comparing it to soul mates - and I learned the sign for, 'soul mate,' - although I practically burned my own eyes out in the attempt to study her face for an adverse reaction.
Shocking, I didn't find one, and once again I found myself wishing I could have a glimpse into her mind.
After I was done explaining everything, I had finally signed, WHAT YOU THINK?
Deadpanned, she signed back, I-DON'T-KNOW. YOU LITTLE-BIT NICE MONSTER, MAYBE?
I rolled my eyes, annoyed. ME NOT MONSTER, CELLIE.
She just shrugged and looked away.
I was hurt again, but determined not to show it. After all, she was here with me now, wasn't she? She was here and walking with me and allowing me to hold her hand. And that right there showed some modicum of trust, considering she had no idea where we were going.
I let go of her hand reluctantly and stopped when we reached our destination. She tore her gaze away from me, looked up, and gasped. Her face broke into a smile and she shot me an excited look.
YOUR SCHOOL? she guessed, correctly.
I nodded, grinning back at her. YOU WANT SEE? LOOK-AROUND?
She nodded emphatically, as I had known she would. But when we reached the doors of the school, she stopped suddenly, and turned to flash me a confused look.
TODAY SATURDAY, she signed. SCHOOL OPEN, WHY?
SATURDAY SCHOOL, I explained. SOMETIMES PEOPLE NEED MORE HELP. A SMALL-AMOUNT TEACHERS COME, HELP STUDENTS. WE SHOULD BE-QUIET.
She grinned. ME DEAF, EMBRY. ME QUIET, ALWAYS. And she mimed zipping her lips, causing me to laugh aloud.
She shook her head at my outburst in mock-disappointment. YOU BAD, EMBRY. NOT QUIET SAME-AS ME.
SHUT-UP, I signed, then stuck my tongue out at her. She smiled at me again, and I felt warm all over.
I grabbed her hand again and pulled her into the building, heading purposefully in a certain direction. We reached the door to the Art Studio, I pulled it open, and watched her face light up even more than it had outside.
COME, I signed, then stepped inside, leaving her in the doorway.
I walked into the middle of the room, and turned to look at her, leaning back on a platform. She still hadn't moved from the doorway. The expression on her face rivaled little kids' faces at Christmas.
Slowly, she ventured into the room. There were a collection of easels set up around the room in a circle formation, so that they faced the raised platform in the center of everything. She walked from easel to easel, full of half done paintings.
In the far left corner, opposite from the doorway were clay models of tea cups and miniature horses. She spotted these quickly and walked over there to examine each one, though I realized that she didn't actually touch a thing.
We were in there for maybe twenty minutes when she turned back to me with wide, excited eyes.
YOU LIKE? I asked, already knowing the answer.
She smiled hugely. YES!
GOOD. ME ASK YOUR MOM. EVERY-SATURDAY, YOU CAN COME HERE. THEY HAVE ART CLASS. ALL-SUMMER.
At that, her mouth dropped open. I took advantage of that to add shyly, YOU LIKE DRAWING, RIGHT? IN YOUR ROOM, I SEE A-LOT PICTURES. ME THINK YOU GOOD, GREAT ARTIST. ME TALK-TO YOUR DEAF SCHOOL. THEY SAY YOU CAN WIN S-C-H-O-L-A-R-S-H-I-P. NEXT FALL, GO-TO SCHOOL.
She exhaled a breath at that, and then she went very, very still.
At that reaction, my heart dropped out of my stomach. Oh, no. What if I was wrong? What if I had gone and assumed too much and completely fucked up, again?
Heart pounding, I moved towards her, unsure of what to say or do, only knowing that I had to fix my huge mistake. When I reached her, her head was down, but I smelled the distinct saltiness of her tears. Fuck. At that, I absolutely panicked.
CELLIE? I signed with one hand. With the other, I tilted her chin up to look into her eyes. The minute we made eye-contact, she flung herself bodily into my arms, and so suddenly, it might have been an accident, her lips smashed into mine. So hard… so hard that they probably bruised. But in that moment, neither of us cared.
All too soon, she pulled herself away from me, and stared into my eyes. My heart skipped a beat, and I watched as her face abruptly changed to her lip-biting nervous expression.
EMBRY, she signed. EVERYTHING TRUE? YOU WOLF… REALLY?
EVERYTHING TRUE, I admitted, my heart thudding in my chest, both from that kiss and from my own anxiety.
MAYBE… YOU SHOW-ME AGAIN? she asked, hesitantly.
I nodded. Oh, God. I was right. She did want to pet me. I didn't know if I could handle that, honestly.
ME NOT SCARED, she said, firmly. ME NOT BABY CELLIE.
I nodded again.
ME LOVE YOU, she signed, and I heard her heart rate increase dramatically.
ME LOVE YOU, I signed back, my own heart rate increasing to match hers.
THANK-YOU, she signed, after breaking eye-contact momentarily to glance around the room.
WELCOME, I replied, and then I held my arms out.
She gave me a small smile and stepped into my embrace, willingly, and I sighed in contentment.
I loved her. So much.
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A/N: Next chapter soon! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
- FadingSlowly