A/N: All that doesn't belong to me belongs to someone else.
Thanks for your patience— more will be coming sooner than this one did.
Read, review, enjoy!
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I'm no mutant. I'm just good with technology.
I'm probably about as much of a pest to the government as they are, though. But hey, if I wasn't in their bad books I probably wouldn't be doing my job right.
That's right, I'm a hacker.
So take care you don't tell me your passwords, because this Jack might just—
hack you.
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Jack had one job: keep Toad preoccupied until further notice.
He was doing a good job of it, but no amount of preoccupation could keep a guy's mind off his girl for too long. It had been less than twenty hours, which included a few food breaks, but Toad was getting suspicious.
"Look, Weasel, wot's goin' on?"
Toad didn't know that pretty much everything Jack did was for Wade's benefit, so he didn't suspect anything in that direction. But Jack knew that eventually, he'd find out.
So Jacob Hammer, nicknamed Weasel, squealed.
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// Twenty-Two Years Ago — 1987 //
At nineteen, Jacob Hammer was at Empire State University. He didn't have any animal-related nicknames. His few friends called him Jake. Sometimes his roommate called him a jackhammer, claiming that he also made things quick and painful.
Weasel's roommate was a bit strange.
Stranger still was his roommate's second cousin, who came and visited one time while he was taking a break from 'confidential' work. Weasel had an easy enough time hacking his way into government profiles and finding out exactly what Wade Wilson did.
Wade Wilson almost killed Weasel, but after figuring out how good the guy was at what he did decided against it.
The second cousin— Jack's roommate— got killed three days later, after reading some of Weasel's files on Wilson.
Jack got a condolence card in the mail a week later that contained five hundred dollars with a promise of more to come.
Jack didn't say anything.
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// Now //
Toad was surprisingly calm about the whole thing.
Jack had expected the guy to go on wild rampages, but no, he was just sitting there, calmly, fingertips pressed together between his knees as he sat on the couch.
"Know wot?"
"What?"
"'Annah's a big girl. She can take care of 'erself."
"Uh huh."
Jack knew nothing about this Hannah chick, but he was one hundred percent positive that no, she could not take care of herself, not if Wade Wilson was involved. If she wasn't already dead, she was fucked.
And not just figuratively: Weasel knew how women generally thought of Wade. Sexy bad boys were all the rage, and if Hannah Levy had settled for Mortimer Toynbee as her sexy bad boy, she was going to regret it if Wade set his sights on her.
She'd probably end up dead in the end, but better to go out with a bang than a whimper, right?
Riiiight.
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// Hannah's Apartment //
Hannah had only recently begun keeping food in the apartment. She bought it for Mort, since he was the only person who really came to her place, but now that Wade Wilson was here, she was glad she'd thought ahead.
Wade was curiously eager for a bowl of cereal and milk, so she obliged him with cornflakes— or rather, he helped himself to cornflakes. He devoured them faster than she could have imagined, and she was left staring at him in half amusement, half shock.
"What?"
"Do you always eat that fast?"
"Why, don't you enjoy your food? I mean it's no good if you go at it slow. It gets soggy."
"Uh huh." Hannah hesitated before reaching to take the empty bowl and spoon back. She pulled them away from him quickly and hurried to the sink. "So, Wade." She turned around with a smile, but when she found him only a few feet away from her as opposed to still sitting at the table, she jumped.
"Scared, moxy?"
"Fucking horrified," she said, rolling her eyes. "Normal people don't sneak up on their hosts like that."
"Well in case you hadn't noticed, we aren't normal people." He flashed a quick grin. "Now tell me something."
"What?"
Wade reached out and twirled a lock of her hair between his fingers, consciously keeping himself from ripping it out. "How did a pretty little piece like you get stuck with the terrible toad king?"
Hannah burst out laughing.
"Terrible toad king! That's a new one." She pressed a hand to her heart, giggling as only truly amused girls do. Wade rolled his eyes and held onto her hair a little tighter. "I'll have to run that one by him."
Wade yanked on her hair, and she bent almost double with a stifled scream. She grabbed his hand with hers.
"Answer the question, moxy."
"Is it so hard to believe that Mort makes someone happy?!"
Wade relaxed his grip enough for her to stand up and back away. She massaged her scalp, no longer looking him in the eye.
It was a bit hard to believe. Mort Toynbee was by no means a happy guy; the idea of his making other people happy seemed far-fetched.
So he told her that yes, it was hard to believe.
She tossed her head a little and didn't answer. He could tell she was angry more than frightened now than he was second-guessing her boyfriend. It amused him just the right amount to keep his swords in their sheaths.
This girl has no idea how lucky she is.
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As a matter of fact, Hannah did know how lucky she was.
She'd only heard stories about Wade Wilson from Mort, and she usually liked to verify her sources, but one person's account was, in this case, enough. She'd heard what Wade Wilson was capable of.
Wade Wilson had kidnapped mutant children for experiments, and hadn't even batted an eye.
Maybe it had been nineteen years ago and all, and maybe he was clinically insane, but still. Kidnapping anyone was bad in Hannah's book. Mutants, humans, children, adults. Didn't matter. Still would be bad.
Also he was a mercenary, a killer for hire. Hell, he might be there to kill her.
That would be too ridiculous.
Hannah knew she wasn't important enough to get killed. All she did was write papers for a magazine. And most people found her articles boring. It's not like she was exposing government secrets or anything, or even working with the X-men.
She was still rubbing her scalp, mostly to keep her hands busy. She didn't want Wade Wilson to see her shaking. Eventually she took her hands down and moved back to the sink to rinse his bowl. He backed away slightly, and she prayed he would leave.
He didn't leave. He jumped up to sit on the counter a few feet away from her. Hannah felt his eyes on her face, and once the bowl was clean she put it on a towel to dry.
Her hands hovered over the bowl before a loud knocking at the window made her flinch.
"I locked the window," Wade explained. "You should keep it locked, dangerous people might get in." He laughed and went to go let Mort— at least she hoped it was Mort— in.
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Jack was quiet for a few minutes after Mort said that Hannah Levy could take care of herself.
Then, he said, "I dunno, Toad. You think?"
Mort thought a moment, then stood up.
He was gone faster than Jack could hammer out a proper goodbye.