1001 Futures
Just A Starving Writer

Part: 2/? -- INCOMPLETE. There's your warning.
Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome
Summary: A good future is hard to find and even harder to accept.
Author's Plea: Enjoy if you can.

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.

Part 2: Two Timely Stumbles

Last time....

He just hoped the miko didn't die in the meantime.

"Ow."

"Are you okay, Kagome?"

"Yes, Shippou. Just a little sore still."

Sore was an understatement. The angry bear youkai had thrown her pretty far, and the landing had been anything but pleasant. She could only count her lucky stars that she hadn't broken anything. Then again, she'd already decided a long time ago that she had to have an innate ability to soften impacts. It was the only explanation she could give for how she had lasted so long without a serious injury.

"Feh. Stop whining and get ready to go."

She considered sitting him but that would only delay them longer. Instead she pushed her annoyance back and started trying to pack her belongings as fast as she could without moving her body too much. It was a slow process, but Sango and Shippou helped. The assistance had them on the road sooner, but it did nothing for her already negative thoughts.

Weak. She was too weak. She'd grown stronger, true. There was no doubting that she was very much stronger than the girl who'd initially fallen down the well. Still, she was nothing compared to the others. The only part of her that seemed stronger than the others was her heart and even that was faltering lately.

How long could one girl go without a break? Maybe a smarter, stronger girl could go longer. As it was, it was very difficult to keep her heart strong, to keep her mood upbeat, when every day she was reminded that she was more of a hindrance than a help. Trouble was attracted to her, and when it reared its ugly head she was incapable of doing anything to stop it.

The feeling of uselessness had plagued her practically since the beginning, but she was more aware of it now than she ever was. She'd tried talking about it with her mother, but she couldn't make her mother understand the amount of danger they were always in without making her unduly worry. Her mother had suggested talking it over with the group, and that had seemed like a good idea.

However, Shippou was still too young to give any concrete advice. Inuyasha shrugged her off, obviously uncomfortable and told her to get over it. Miroku and Sango tried their best but left her feeling even more useless for being worried about it. Kaede had proven the most help; being the younger, less remarkable sister of the infamous Kikyou surely had spawned similar feelings. However, even laden as she was with scrolls to study to improve her miko powers as well as Kaede's assurances that she would overcome it once she became more confident in her abilities, it still did not keep the feeling from surfacing any time she had a moment to think.

A growl interrupted the silence of their journey, but it still didn't compute in time for her to keep from running into Inuyasha's back. The resulting meeting with the ground jarred her already sensitive bones, and she could think of nothing but her lack of aspirin for the first few seconds. Then, as the pain began to fade to a more manageable level, she realized that a growling Inuyasha meant there might be danger nearby. Turning her attention away from her pains and in the direction of her friend's angry stare, she found the source of the trouble.

"Sesshoumaru…"

The youkai ignored his half-brother. Instead, Kagome found his cold eyes fixed entirely on herself. It made her more than a little self conscious.

"How may we assist you today, Lord Sesshoumaru?" Miroku asked, keeping his tone gentle so as not to provoke Inuyasha.

"Miko, you will come with this Sesshoumaru."

By the time she had processed exactly what the intimidating youkai had said, her entire group had already broken into argument. Through it all, the visitor remained stoic, his gaze still locked on her own.

"Why?" she heard herself ask softly. She wasn't quite sure where the question had come from, but she was sticking to it. There wasn't a single reason she could think of that the powerful youkai would need her for.

"There is a proposition this Sesshoumaru must discuss with you."

That statement spurred even more argument from her friends. Tessaiga was already unsheathed, and Inuyasha was ready to start fighting. Sango and Miroku were more than ready to back him up. She didn't understand what all the fuss was about. After all, Sesshoumaru hadn't tried to kill her in ages.

"Okay," she said softly. Her friends' arguments then turned to her; she ignored them as she lifted herself off the ground and took a few steps towards the dog youkai. She was only a few steps away when an angry hanyou blocked her path.

"What the hell do you think you doing?"

"I'm going to talk with you brother, of course."

"Half-brother," he automatically corrected her. "Don't be an idiot, Kagome."

It was the wrong thing for him to say. Although she knew she should be used to it by now, her temper was already hair-trigger due to the thoughts she'd been dwelling on all morning.

"You've already called me an idiot today, Inuyasha. Either I'm an idiot always or speaking with him will make me one. Let me know what you decide when I come back. Now, sit."

Any doubt he may have had about transforming the miko evaporated the moment he saw her after his extensive and long-winded conversation with the tree youkai. Bokunesou had proven to be a wealth of knowledge on the subject and had guaranteed him that it was a costly and dangerous procedure that should only be attempted if there were no other alternatives.

Seeing a battered and bruised miko stumble dazedly into his half-brother and fall to the ground told him that there truly were no other alternatives. It was a miracle the girl had lasted this long; anything further was only pushing fate.

He watched with irritation and a tiny bit of humor as the miko told off his half brother and approached his side. It was important that they discuss this first without the indignation of the half breed interfering. He was clueless as to how she would take the proposition; he couldn't imagine a human not wanting to be youkai, but he also knew them to shy from change and pain. The miko herself was a whole extra bundle of contradictions, so he'd given up planning and decided to improvise. If it came to it, he could always force her.

With that thought in mind, he grabbed the miko by the shoulder and unwillingly dragged her closer as he formed his cloudy transportation beneath them. It wasn't his preferred means of travel, but it certainly proved useful. However, he wasn't accustomed to including others in his travel plans, thus he was a bit uncomfortable when the miko clung to his arm with all her measly strength while mumbling apologies. It was bothersome enough that he landed sooner than he might have otherwise done. He could justify it easily; he wanted to get this conversation over with and they were far enough from the half-breed that they would have at least a few moments without interruption.

When they made landfall, the miko immediately attempted to spring to her feet. However, she misjudged just about every aspect of the move and ended up a crumpled mess on the ground. It seemed she was subconsciously agreeing with his assessment that she would certainly die without his assistance.

"Miko," he started once she was less distracted from her many pains. "You are weak."

Several emotions seemed to flash across her countenance: fear, indignation, and sad acceptance. She then blanked her expression and met his eyes.

"Yes. I know."

"You will not live to see Naraku's demise," he continued with a tiny bit of affront. He wouldn't say anything, of course. It was nice that she was agreeing with him, even if he had expected her to argue.

"I… see."

"Your death is not in this Sesshoumaru's best interest."

"And why is that?" There was nothing but open curiosity in her tone. It was almost disturbing.

"Your ability to cleanse shards of the Shikon will be required to ensure incidents like this are not repeated."

"Ah," she stated with a sigh as she looked away. "It's always about the jewel."

"Yes," he agreed.

"So… what exactly are we discussing?" she continued after a pause.

"This Sesshoumaru has discovered a way in which to keep you alive long enough to see the death of Naraku and the completion of the jewel."

"Really?" The curiosity had returned and was quickly replacing the desolation she'd emitted earlier. "Are you going to join our group? Or train me? Or hire a bodyguard? I don't really think I could bear it if you locked me away somewhere until it's over, so please know I won't agree to that no matter how weak I am."

He'd known she was expressive, but watching the emotions run across her face as she came up with each idea was more than a little entertaining. He wondered briefly if she would lose this quirk when she was transformed.

"No, miko. Those ideas have already been evaluated and determined foolish. There is but one certain way to keep you alive."

"And that is?"

"You will become a youkai."

Kagome didn't know what she expected him to say, but it certainly wasn't this.

"Become… a… youkai?" she mumbled. "But that's impossible!"

"It is painful and possibly deadly, but it is possible," he returned.

"But surely Inuyasha would have found out about this by now," she reasoned.

"This option is not available to those with any youkai blood. Only the purely human can consider the transformation."

"But… but… I can't! I'm a miko! What good would I be as a youkai if I can't purify jewel shards?"

"This Sesshoumaru has been assured whatever powers you possess in this form will be passed into the next. You will still be of use as a youkai."

"This just isn't possible."

It was too much. His blank look and calculating eyes were staring at her, inspecting her too closely and surely finding all her faults. Between the pieces of her world crashing around her, she spared a thought to why it even mattered to him. At the same time, parts of her that had been decaying with her acknowledgment of her weakness were now exhilarated at the thought of being a more powerful being.

"It… I… I can't hurt Inuyasha like this! There must be another way," she finally stated with firm conviction.

"You are a burden to the half-breed. You will surely hurt him more when you die despite his pitiful attempts to protect you. If there were another way, this Sesshoumaru would have taken it rather than allow the rise of a human to such a rank. There is no other way."

She suspected he knew exactly how cutting his words were. Grasping her chest above her heart, she tried to fight the tears that wanted release. Though she'd long accepted her place in this world, it was something else entirely hearing it so harshly from someone she often looked up to. Leaning against a nearby tree, she allowed herself a moment to push back her feelings and seriously consider his offer.

First, she was foolish if she thought this was actually an offer. She wouldn't put it passed the lord to make her go through with it regardless of her acceptance. The very fact that he'd brought this to her made it impossible to believe he hadn't considered every alternative.

Second… well, who didn't dream of being stronger? Maybe she'd become particularly sensitive to her own weakness lately, but she couldn't deny her interest in the prospect of becoming stronger than she'd ever thought possible.

That brought her to her third point – if she was stronger, she wouldn't be dragging the group down as much as she currently was. Despite anyone's words to the contrary, she knew very well that she was a burden as she was. If she had an option to help her group, shouldn't she take it regardless of any personal consequences?

Of course, there were several negatives. Sesshoumaru hadn't denied that the process was apparently painful and carried the risk of death. However, if he truly believed she would die as a result, she didn't reckon he would even both trying to change her. She would also be foolish to believe her becoming a youkai wouldn't change the group dynamics. While she was sure the others would get used to it after a time, she knew Inuyasha would be hard pressed not to hate her for getting what he so badly wanted. Of course, he might grow to like her again in time, once he realized the benefits of not having to save her every fifteen minutes, but she was only kidding herself if she thought it wouldn't take months of arguments to get to that point.

Altogether, despite the risks and consequences, despite the lack of assurance, she found herself wanting to agree.

"I… I would like to agree, but I'd also like to know more about it."

He nodded once. For a second she thought she saw a spark of pride in his hard eyes. She decided she'd just imagined it.

to be continued...