Back at the Tower everyone was relaxing after the fight, waiting for Skon to contact them. The Doctor's plan was well underway, and depended on Skon's response to the ultimatum in the note.
"What I want to know is how Beast Boy put on 13,000 pounds in an instant." The Doctor said. "That's quite a trick."
"Dunno. Ever since my parents had to fiddle with my DNA when I was a baby, I've been able to become any animal I want. The big ones really take it out of me though—I can't hold them for more than a few minutes." Beast Boy said. "I can be a small one for as long as I want."
"Yes, but where does the mass go?" The Doctor persisted. "It's almost like you carry around a pocket universe or something."
"Dude! That is so cool." Beast Boy's eyes widened. "A whole pocket universe—and it's filled with me."
"Great." Raven said sarcastically. "That's just what we need. A universe filled with Beast Boy."
"Truly, friend Raven, it is a frightening thought." Starfire said with a delicate shudder.
"Star!" Beast Boy protested, hurt.
"I believe the term is "Got you", friend Beast Boy." Starfire said, smiling brightly. Beast Boy's jaw dropped.
"Star, was that a joke?" Beast Boy asked. She nodded.
"Yes, To make you partake in the medicine you possess, Beast Boy."
"Give you a taste of your own medicine." He corrected automatically. "I think that's the first time you pulled a joke on me, Starfire. Awesome!"
"You are not offended?" She asked, tilting her head.
"No! I think it's great!" Beast Boy enthused.
"Sometimes I am convinced I shall never understand Earth customs." Starfire said.
"Don't worry about it, Star. Beast Boy is in a class all by himself." Robin said easily.
"I wanna know how Birdy here was able to leap eight feet straight up in the air and where that quarterstaff came from." Rose said, staring at Robin. "And what did you throw at the Slitheen?"
"Trick shoes." Robin said with a straight face. "A retractable staff. And quantum stabilized explosive disks."
"While we're on the subject." The Doctor interjected. "Where did that blue energy beam come from?"
"That was me." Cyborg held up his right arm. Something complicated happened and his hand disappeared, leaving the unmistakable muzzle of a weapon. "It was my sonic cannon. The blue beam is just for aiming. The punch is all sonic energy. Sort of a laser made of sound."
The Doctor watched Cyborg's hand reassemble itself in fascination.
"Nanotechnology?" He asked.
"Nope, micromachining." Cyborg answered. "I save the nanotech for my energy cells. Haven't managed to get reliable conversion with dynamic nanotech yet."
"English, Cy!" Beast Boy said in exasperation. "The rest of us don't speak Technobabble."
The human half of Cyborg's forehead crinkled in concentration. Then he shrugged.
"Can't translate that into grass-stain." He said cheerfully. "Some things are just too complicated to explain in words of one syllable or less."
Beast Boy gave Cyborg a raspberry. It was particularly effective since Beast Boy's tongue morphed into a long, thick, purple and prehensile organ for the event.
"Man that was just nasty." Cyborg said, laughing.
"Thank you, thank you very much." Beast Boy said, grinning. "I'm here all week. Be sure and remember to tip your waitress."
The three girls in the room studiously ignored the byplay.
Suddenly the massive TV screen facing the couch came on, displaying Skon in all his saggy naked glory. Raven made a gagging sound and turned away.
"I am Skon Lor-Kip Almarka-Bar Slitheen." The alien grated. As far as Rose could tell Skon appeared calm, but it was always dicey trying to read alien expressions.
"I would speak with the Doctor, since he has seen fit to issue an ultimatum to the Slitheen."
"I'm here, Skon." The Doctor rolled to his feet, smiling jovially. "Good of you to return my call so promptly."
"I thought I would repay your courtesy in leaving my clansmen alive after your successful hunt, Doctor. We Slitheen, of course, rarely choose to spare our prey, unless the prey is unworthy."
"Yes, well, I don't like killing myself. Such a messy business." The Doctor answered. "Mind you, I'm not all that keen on hunting, either. How are your clansmen, by the way?"
"Gens Alt-Ska Almarka-Bar Slitheen has thirteen broken ribs, a skull fracture in two places, a broken arm and no memory of how it occurred. Dra Gib-Darat Almarka-Bar Slitheen has a concussion, two broken ribs, and a fractured vertebra. She also has a migraine from her encounter with you. We expect both to make a full recovery." He paused. "It was quite unsporting of you to use energy weapons against my clansmen, Doctor. We Slitheen hunt as nature intended, with claws and skill alone."
"While wearing the skins of your prey." The Doctor pointed out mildly.
"Subterfuge is, of course, a necessity when hunting in the midst of the herd, Doctor. But our kills are always one on one."
"Or one on two." The Doctor said, sobering. "Tell me, did one of your youngsters recently go hunting without authorization, Skon?"
"You refer to the young human couple in the dunes behind the beach?" Skon inquired politely.
"That would be the ones, yes."
"An unfortunate misjudgment by one of our younger children. It was her first human hunt. Her targets were far too skinny for the skins to be of use, even for our youngest children. I understand she was terribly sloppy in skinning the bodies as well. My apologies for the mess she made, Doctor. She is very precocious but lacks the finesse of an experienced hunter. You can rest assured she has been appropriately punished for her indiscretion."
"Sent to bed without her supper? Given a spanking and told not to be naughty again? That sort of thing?"
"Exactly, Doctor." Skon said. "We Slitheen have high regard for our children, as do all Raxacoricofallapatorians. We have a duty to raise them to be proper Slitheen."
"Pity you don't have equal regard for the children of other species, Skon." The Doctor said in a steely voice. "Listen to me. Your little stunt with the hyperdrive pulled us both into an alternate universe. I'm giving you the opportunity to come back with me. Leave this Earth in peace and I'll tow your ship back through the Spiral and see you safe back in our universe. You have the word of a Time Lord."
"Have you forgotten, Doctor, that the Slitheen are under sentence of death on our home world? Have you also forgotten that you yourself summoned our executioners? Why should I take up your offer when it means the death of my entire clan? Not to mention my own. Surely you can see you give us no incentive to do ask you ask."
"True enough. But this world isn't like the Earth in our universe. This one has protectors. Your clansmen ran into five of them. I swear to you my companion and I took no part in that fight. Oh, and Skon? Those five were teenagers. They aren't even adults yet. And they won that fight in less than a minute's time."
"You lie! No human adolescents could defeat two Slitheen hunters! Even from ambush and armed with energy weapons!"
"Then what happened to your clansmen?" The Doctor asked snidely.
Starfire came up to stand beside the Time Lord.
"The Doctor does not lie, Skon. I am young, but I am not human, I am Tameranean. Your clansmen proved to be disappointing in battle. My friends and I dispatched them with little effort—and no risk to ourselves."
Skon studied her. "I find that hard to believe, Tameranean. Of course, since you used energy weapons instead of your own abilities you did have the advantage."
Her eyes started to glow, and she raised one hand, which was surrounded by a brilliant green ball of light.
"Do not seek to insult me, Slitheen." Starfire said coldly. "I did not use weapons. I fought your clansmen with nothing but my own abilities! And I was not impressed."
"I have listened to your words of madness, Skon, now hear mine. You would do well to accept the Doctor's kindness, for I will offer you none. If you stay here and continue to hunt," Starfire's lip curled, "We will find you, and we will bring every one of you to justice. This I swear as a princess of the Royal House of Tameran. Do not doubt me, monster, and do not test me."
"Brave words, prey." Skon sneered. "I think I will save you for myself and mount your stuffed body in my quarters. That red hair of yours will go nicely with the wall hangings. You can't stop me, princess. You and your friends are nothing but cattle, to be slaughtered at the whim of the Slitheen!"
"You're forgetting me, Skon." The Doctor said. "And your megalomaniacal ranting is getting old."
"What can you do, Doctor?" The Slitheen scoffed. "You ran from us like a frightened rabbit! You aren't even worth hunting."
"Really?" The Doctor pulled an instrument from his jacket and dug out one of the captured collars. "I think you'll find I'm a lot more dangerous than you give me credit for, Skon. Unlike the Slitheen I do use weapons. But I also use my mind. And you, old monster, are done."
He thumbed the instrument, which emitted a blue glow, and brought it down against the large square mesh on the collar's front.
Instantly the collar around Skon's next burst into coruscating sheets of lightning, which covered the large green alien. Skon shivered and jerked as he was electrocuted, unable to even move under the fierce electrical shock.
The Doctor turned off his instrument, and Skon staggered. Then the Doctor reactivated the instrument and Skon was again covered in arcing blue bolts of electrical fire.
The Doctor repeated the cycle a couple of more times before returning the instrument to his pocket. Skon tore the collar from his neck and hurled it out of frame, before collapsing to his knees, drawing in great shuddering breaths.
"Now, Skon, tell me how worthless I am." The Doctor's voice was cold. "Tell me how harmless I am. Tell me how a frightened rabbit just destroyed your most potent defenses, you psychotic coprolite!"
Starfire had stepped back, staring at the Doctor with wide eyes that no longer glowed and holding out her hands defensively. Hands that weren't covered in green balls of light.
"Dude." Beast Boy said in a low shocked voice. No one else said anything, but Rose was smiling her predatory smile again. Of all the Titans only Raven appeared unmoved. But she was watching both Rose and the Doctor closely.
"You are worthy prey after all, Doctor." Skon forced himself to his feet. "And while it is true you have brought the Slitheen to bay, we are not beaten yet. Losing the collars is indeed a crippling blow. They will be sorely missed."
He smiled. The expression was a hideous rictus on his bulging alien face.
"However we are not helpless, Doctor. This ship has force fields. It has weapons. You would drive the Slitheen to extinction and yes, you have hurt us. But we will destroy this city, Doctor. We will smash it and burn it, and slaughter every human until there is nothing left. And then we'll move on to the next city and the next until these protectors you speak of manage to bring us down. If they manage."
"You may destroy us, Doctor, but the price will be high, I promise you that! You should have given back our transduction coil when we asked. Now, the death of the Slitheen will be remembered in terror by our prey for ten thousand years!"
Skon laughed, only this time it wasn't a mocking desperate laugh. It was a laugh of genuine amusement, the kind of laugh your grandfather would laugh just before handing out Christmas presents.
"Let the hunt begin!" He said merrily.
"What if I changed the terms of my offer?" The Doctor said. "Take you back and give back your transduction coil?"
"I am listening." Skon said, pausing.
"Doctor, you can't." Robin exclaimed. "This monster will never stop killing. Him and his filthy brood. Not until they're stopped. Permanently."
"I can stop them. In this universe at least." The Doctor said, watching Skon. Robin's eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything more.
"How do I know you won't sabotage the transduction coil and let us destroy ourselves when we activate the hyperdrive, Doctor?"
"I give you my word as a Time Lord, under Article 15 of the Shadow Proclamation." The Doctor said. "I will not tamper with the transduction coil to destroy your ship. In fact I will return it in good working order."
"Agreed." Skon said.
"My ship was damaged." The Doctor said. "I'll need a day to repair her. Once I've done that I'll take you back through the Spiral, give you your transduction coil and leave you to your own devices. Do we have a deal, Skon?"
"Yes, Doctor. But no tricks."
"No tricks. You'll get your transduction coil in working order and I'll deliver you safely back to our universe. The police frigates aren't due for another twelve days. That should give you plenty of time to make your escape."
"It has been interesting doing business with you, Doctor. Perhaps we shall meet again."
"For your sake, Skon, you better pray we never do."
Skon chuckled and the screen went blank.