"What do you think you're doing?" Robin snarled. "Letting that monster go? I don't care if it's in another universe! Did you hear him? Did you? He's going to kill again, him and his whole clan!"
The Doctor stared at Robin calmly.
"First of all, it's not your jurisdiction. This city is your protectorate. You should be worried about the citizens of Jump City."
"I am!" He said hotly.
"Then you should want Skon and his bloodthirsty clan gone from this city, this planet, and this universe." The Doctor pointed out.
"I do! But they shouldn't be loose anywhere they can kill innocent people! Doing that makes you responsible for their crimes!"
"Does it? Yes, I suppose it would. Good thing that's not going to happen, isn't it?" The Doctor beamed the boy, who gaped at him.
"Oh come now." The Doctor snorted. "Do you honestly think I'd let Skon skip off scot free? It's long past time the Slitheen got what's coming to them. But it's not as simple as hitting them over the head. Oh no, the time stream must never ever be corrupted. Big nasty things with sharp teeth come and devour everything in sight when that happens. Right, Rose?"
"You talking about those Reaper things?" Rose shuddered.
"The very ones!" The Doctor raised one finger like a professor giving a lecture.
"You see, children, as nasty as Skon and his clan are—and they're extremely nasty—they mustn't be killed. At least, not all of them. Because they're the parents and grandparents of the Slitheen that Rose and I fought in London. Got that? No parents, no children. No children, and you have a rip-roaring time paradox and the Reapers come and wipe out everything that caused the paradox. And I wouldn't bet they can't cross the dimensional boundary."
"Trust me. You think Slitheen are bad? They're angels compared to Reapers. You can't negotiate with a Reaper. You can't fight it, you can't hurt it, and you can't hide from it. And it always travels in packs."
"So the best thing is to get Skon and his merry monsters back to my universe. Where Skon is in for a really nasty surprise."
"You lied to him." Raven said, suddenly understanding. "You'll rig that coil thing to blow up his ship."
"Nope." The Doctor grinned at her. "Can't lie. The Shadow Proclamation gets really cross when someone takes their name in vain. I don't need the grief."
"You said you'd make sure the coil was in working order, Doctor. I heard you." Rose said.
"I did, didn't I?" The Doctor was obviously enjoying himself. "A man's only as good as his word, Rose. They'll get it back, in perfect working order. Of course I never actually said it wouldn't do something in addition, now did I? Call it a…bonus. Better than before." He chuckled.
"I don't get it." Beast Boy said, scratching his head.
"That's the beauty of it." The Doctor beamed. "Skon won't either!"
"What exactly are you going to do, Doctor?" Robin asked suspiciously.
"I'm going to give Skon exactly what he wants." The Doctor's face turned serious. "Skon loves the hunt. But you see the Slitheen are only one clan from a planet full of different clans. And they all like to hunt. It's in the Raxacoricofallapatorian DNA. It's just most of them are civilized, peaceful, and law abiding."
Starfire started to laugh. The Doctor grinned at the Tameranean girl. Rose and the other Titans looked at each other blankly.
"Truly Doctor, you are a master of the practical joke, yes?" Starfire finally said with one hand pressed against her stomach. Her face was flushed from the force of her laughter.
"Oh yes." The Doctor was grinning like a loon. He so rarely got to play practical jokes that actually mattered.
"All right, Doctor, you're very clever." Rose said good-naturedly. "Why don't you explain yourself so the rest of us can appreciate it too?"
Still watching Starfire he held one finger to his lips in a shushing motion. Eyes twinkling, the alien girl nodded solemnly.
"No, I don't think I will." The Doctor said, chuckling. "My little secret. You'll find out soon enough, Rose. Starfire, don't tell anyone till after we leave, right?"
"I promise, Doctor." Starfire said with a beatific smile.
"Dude, that's so unfair!" Beast Boy complained.
"Count your blessings, friend, that we merely withhold knowledge of this joke, rather than play one on you." Starfire said with mock severity. "Practical jokes are not funny—wait, I tell a lie. This one is very funny. But most are not. Especially those involving motor oil."
Beast Boy wilted under her gaze. "I thought you forgave me for that."
"Of course I forgave you, friend Beast Boy. But that does not mean I forgot." Starfire said with a sweet smile. Beast Boy swallowed and slipped behind Robin.
"Save me." He said in a small voice. "I'm doomed."
"Don't look at me." Robin said. "I have to sleep in the same bed with her. There's no way I'm taking any heat for you, Beast Boy."
"You got a point." Beast Boy admitted. "Raven?"
"Not if you paid me." Raven said flatly. By now the angry mood was broken and everyone was relaxing.
"That's better." The Doctor said in satisfaction. "Cyborg, if we're going to be ready by tomorrow night I'm going to need your help, both for the coil and my ship."
"You got it, Doc. Anything you need."
"Cyborg?"
"Yeah Doc?"
"Please don't call me Doc."
"Gotcha."
The two worked through the night, and left at dawn for the TARDIS. Rose was shown to a guest room to get a few hours of sleep before the final showdown. Starfire woke her at sundown and after a quick meal they set off for the TARDIS.
Since Cyborg had taken the T-Car Robin gave her a ride on the back of his motorcycle while the other three flew. When they pulled up at the TARDIS, she was grinning so widely it hurt.
"Blimey, Robin that was brilliant." Rose said, laughing. "I love your motorcycle! So fast and I could have sworn we were airborne a couple of times."
"We were." He said casually, dismounting. "I was in a hurry."
"Ha! I knew it! You are one crazy birdy." Rose chuckled.
"There's the T-Car but I don't see Cyborg or the Doctor." Robin said. "Any idea where they might be?"
"Inside, most likely." Rose said. "Hang on, I've got a key."
Starfire eyed the small blue box. "Cyborg would barely fit inside such a box, friend Rose." She said doubtfully. "If the Doctor were inside with him they must surely be uncomfortable. Perhaps they are stuck? Should we not render assistance?"
Rose laughed as she unlocked the door and stepped through. She turned and spoke.
"Well come on, you lot. No telling where they've gotten off to. It could take hours to find them."
She vanished inside the box.
"Friend, I do not understand—" Starfire leaned through the doors and gave an eek of surprise as she was pulled bodily inside.
"Star!" Robin leaped through the doors, only to freeze, staring at the six foot passage leading to a pair of massive metal doors a good two feet thick that gapped open in front of him. Rose struck her head through the doors.
"Well, come on." She said with a grin, vanishing again.
Robin backed out of the box, eyes bulging. He ran around the outside of the box quickly, looking for anything that might explain what he'd seen.
"Robin? Where's Starfire?" Raven asked.
Collecting himself he said glumly, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Come on."
"Come on where?" Beast Boy said as Raven followed their leader through the doors. Shrugging Beast Boy followed.
"Cool! This is like Mumbo's hat, right?" Beast Boy said as they went through the metal doors.
"I guess." Robin said. "Didn't know the Doctor was a magician though."
"What? Who's a magician?" The Doctor popped up from an open grating beside the console in the middle of the large room the Titans found themselves in.
"Last time I saw something like this was when the magician Mumbo sucked us into his hat." Robin said.
"What, turning pretty girls into rabbits and then sawing them in half? That sort of thing?" The Doctor grinned. "Not my cup of tea. Good timing, by the way. Welcome to the TARDIS."
"Thanks." Raven said sardonically.
He climbed out of the hatch and threw a switch on the console. The armored doors closed silently and an electronic hum filled the air.
"Ah, that's my girl." He said, patting the console. Returning to the hatch he called down, "Cyborg! That's got it. Come on up, I'd say we're finished."
Cyborg took his sweet time reappearing, working his way through the hatch with some difficulty.
"Man, you need bigger doors in this thing." He complained. "Hey, guys! Check this place out! The Doctor tells me this is just the tip of the iceberg. Says it's got more rooms than the Empire State building."
"Nice." Beast Boy said approvingly. "You got a pool in this thing, Doctor?"
"Um, yes, in the bathroom." The Doctor answered distractedly, studying an instrument on the console.
"I say, Cyborg, she's feeling better than she has in years! Very well done."
"When Cyborg fixes it, it purrs like a kitten." Cyborg said, buffing his metal nails against his equally metallic chest with a scraping noise.
The lights flickered slightly and the TARDIS gave out a whispery buzz. The Doctor's face lit up and he slapped Cyborg on the back.
"She likes you." He said, chuckling. "Haven't felt her this frisky in over a hundred years. Well, hate to fix and run but it's time I put Skon out of your misery."
"We're leaving already?" Rose said in surprise.
"No rest for the wicked, Rose. And we've still miles to go before we sleep on that beach." The Doctor said. He threw the switch that opened the doors, pleased beyond measure the main power was on.
"Friends, it has been a most memorable encounter." Starfire said as the group moved toward the open air. "Will we see you again?"
"No, I don't think so." The Doctor said, turning serious for a moment. "I'm getting far too old for these inter-universe jaunts."
"Then in that case I shall give you both the hug." Starfire said. The Doctor started to protest but this time Starfire's embrace was gentle.
"Take care, friend Rose. May X'Hal watch over you." Starfire smiled at the girl, who couldn't help but smile back.
That redhead's got the soul of a cocker spaniel. The Doctor thought to himself.
"Good luck." Robin said, shaking the Doctor's hand. "I wish we could have met under different circumstances."
"Yes, well I never seem to end up in the land of milk and honey." The Doctor said ruefully. "I'm just glad I can leave this Earth in such capable hands."
"Thanks." Robin said, surprised and gratified.
"Rose, time to go." The Doctor waved and disappeared inside the TARDIS.
"Well, guess that's my cue." Rose said, shifting awkwardly. "Oh, I suppose I should give this back." She pulled the squirt rifle off her back and held it out to Robin.
He shook his head.
"Keep it. With the Slitheen gone we've got no use for it but you might."
"Thanks." Rose looked at each of them. "I mean that. It's been a real blast!" She waved, grinning and closed the TARDIS door as she vanished within.
The TARDIS started making a wailing, cyclic groan which gradually grew faster. It faded from view, leaving only a large square of flattened grass to prove it had ever sat there.
Robin took out his communicator and punched in a code.
"Titan's Tower to Watchtower." He said.
"This is the Watchtower." A voice that wasn't Batman's answered.
"In a few minutes that alien ship that landed here is going to take off." Robin said. "The ship is filled with extremely dangerous criminals and the ship is still armed, I repeat, still armed. The small ship towing them is crewed by friendlies, not hostiles. They intend to tow the other ship through the portal and close the portal behind them. Once the portal closes those ships can't come back. You might want to send an escort for the small towing ship until they're through the portal."
"We've been monitoring the situation." The voice said. "There were reports of several bizarre murders in Jump City yesterday."
"The aliens, yeah." Robin said bitterly. "The crew of the small ship managed to cripple the criminals' plans. Then they made a deal so the aliens wouldn't try going out in a blaze of glory. The Slitheen threatened to keep destroying cities until their ship was destroyed unless the small ship took them back through the portal and repaired their hyperdrive."
"Understood." The voice said calmly. "We will organize an escort to ensure the alien craft does indeed go through the portal. Watchtower out."
"Who was that?" Cyborg asked.
"I think it was J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Man-hunter." Robin said. "I'd hate to be the Slitheen right now if they try anything on this side of the portal."
"What about on the other side of the portal?" Raven asked quietly.
"The Doctor can handle himself." Robin said confidently. "He managed to disable their hyperdrive in the first place."
"And don't forget about his ship." Cyborg said. "That TARDIS is a marvel."
"Yeah, but does it run on AC or DC?" Beast Boy quipped.
"Grass stains shouldn't try to talk engineering." Cyborg retorted.
The two Titans fell into a comfortable argument as the group went back to their vehicles for the ride home.