Whew! Took me a while to update this! I know I write at snail's pace, but I can't help it! Our classes are so hectic, I wanna go and mope somewhere far otherworldly. I really am lacking in sleep. I wanna sleep! (tear)

So, in between my papers, assignments, projects, reviews and deadlines, I write a few paragraphs (especially when I think up something good). Please, please, I beg of thee, my wonderful inexorable readers, to be just and patient unto my broken heart. In case of typos, and other errors, please inform me. When I have time, I'll proofread this. I know it's kinda unprofessional of me to update without proper proofreading, but I sometimes feel that if I don't try to update, I'll forget doing it altogether. Make sense? I know, I have weird thoughts which make me weird in a not so weird way.

Ironically, along with all those stuff, love problems bother me. Why do they anyway? I don't wanna think about it! Huhu. I guess they're influencing some of my writings right now. I might be guilty of OOC, too. But I felt that they were necessary. Anyways, you can review me later and tell me what you think, neh?

Anyways, stop it with my ramblings! Here is the next installment! Read on and have fun!

Love and Cotton Candies

Kumiko Yamaguchi stepped out of the hot shower, and leisurely wrapped herself with a towel. Her demeanor now far differed from the winded and adrenaline-shot woman who arrived huffing at the wooden gates thirty minutes earlier; calmness seemed to radiate in pools from her deliberate movements. Her damp soles padded over the polished wooden rafts, enjoying the freedom nudity allowed her, before plopping onto the mattress. She even settled for humming some unknown tune to herself as she dried her hair with a separate towel. Truly, nothing calms more than a good, hot and long shower!

Her eyes fell on the clothes lying neatly a few inches away and her peace was momentarily shattered. A line creased her forehead. That's right. I'm going to a date. Date. With Shinohara.

With Shinohara.

A year ago, Yamaguchi would have been exhilarated at the idea, would have gushed for weeks, would have hysterically celebrated probably at the prospect of the idea of spending even a single "alone" minute with Shinohara. She would have swooned at the man's feet after the unexpected kiss and proposal that fateful night. She would have accepted without a second's delay. She would have insisted marrying him on the spot even if that meant dragging him to the nearest, most available temple.

So many "would haves"…

…which was exactly what brought the frown.

Because right then, as she fingered the rough yet reassuring texture of her jacket, Kumiko felt that she no longer shared the same sentiments as that woman a year ago. The past few months…weeks…days…were too catalytic, drastically so. Despite her resolve to put her budding feelings for Shin behind her, this afternoon's meeting with him seemed to crush it with vengeance. She couldn't even resist kissing him. She even initiated. She couldn't stop. She didn't want to.

Kumiko closed her eyes and bit her lower lip savagely, almost enough to draw blood but not quite. God, she could almost taste him again! She cursed inwardly. How in the world could she possibly go on a date with someone when her mind was so full of some one else?

Do you still love him? He had asked.

Do I still love him? Wondered Kuroda's ojou. Do I still love Shinohara?

She could never forget how he came into her life, into her family's life, much like a knight in a shining armor. More like a prince—he always seemed so regal, so noble, so wise; he always seemed so much above her even though she was technically higher than him. How could anyone not love him? Even when he seemed admittedly quite distant and cold, as though careful to maintain a gap between them—even then—she used to sense him concern, not just because it was his job, but because he was genuinely so. Concerned. These years, he became a wonderful part of the family. Of course, as wonderful as it was, it was also painful. She should have contented herself with just watching him, with the minced and careful affection he showered for her. She should have been. But she was not; she was naïve. She had made her intentions clear. But…

A dull pain shot through her head. Peace was definitely dead now. She kneaded her temple with her knuckles; memories of unrequited love hurt.

She remembered…she had always made her feelings for him clear. How unclear could it be when she would spend every free time away from college on him? But again, there was that gap, that distance—she couldn't understand why he was so determined to keep it. She used to imagine that he loved her secretly, too. And pain inevitably followed every time he would laugh her off, shrug her off like a child—some immature kid who can't comprehend the true meaning of love. Since Kyou wasn't there during most of those times, she visited him, happy with seeing a familiar and sympathetic face, but somehow, she knew he saw though her wide grins. She knew her keen grandfather sensed her strains but didn't intervene. By the time she graduated from college, she felt was already numb to his coolness. But the feelings didn't end. She was just too blinded to see.

Now, she realized that her feelings this past year were quickly approaching demise. She didn't notice it. She was too preoccupied of thinking of how much she loved Shinohara to notice that that was all she had left: an illusion of the perfect man. That itself was inevitable; he is after all, her first love, as mushy as that may sound. Once one meets the perfect man, everything else seems second rate; every quality is doomed to comparison. She felt that she was stuck to that man, that she would no longer learn to love anyone else, that she'd rather spend the rest of her life an old maid than live without her knight.

That was until she became a teacher, and gradually got acquainted with her sharp and rebellious red-headed student.

Do you still love him? Shin's eyes seemed to bore into hers.

"Do I still love him?" Kumiko whispered to herself. Moving her lips in a taut and determined line, she stood up and hauled the hangers which held the clothes gingerly.

Tonight...Tonight I will know.

The 18 year-old red head was debating whether or not he should repeat his drinking spree when a loud knock interrupted him. He closed his eyes wearily for a moment. Maybe he could pretend no one's at home…or that he's asleep…right…

Three more rough raps, then, "Young Master! Are you in there?"

Kyou-san? Maybe Yankumi's… Quickly, Shin rolled off his bed and hurried to the door. Opening it, he was met with the older man's usual goofy grin. "Eh? Starin' ain't nice, you know that?"

And Shin had been staring. Why was the man even here, anyways? Shaking his head, he said his lone inquiry out loud. "What're you doing here?"

Instead of looking miffed, Kyou's grin went wider. "You don't sound pleased."

He shrugged. "Just surprised."

"Disappointed, eh?"

"Huh?" But he looked away. A bit, he wanted to say but decided against it. Kyou nodded, seeming to understand. "Wanna come in?"

"Nah," said Kyou pleasantly. "Just passed to tell ya that I'm gonna go patrolling some parts. I thought ya'd wanna come, that is, if you've got nothing to do."

A dozen questions passed through his head. "I—not really. But won't Kumiko get angry?"

"It'll be alright. We won't tell ojou."

"Where is this, anyway?"

"Hehe, tell you when we get there. There's something special I need you for."

"And what's that?" Shin felt slightly suspicious and intrigued in spite of himself.

"Where's the fun if I tell you now?"

Sawada chewed on his inner cheek. It was definitely a better option than slowly torturing himself over a certain teacher. And it just might relieve him of his agitations. This adventure could be just the thing.

"Alright," he answered finally. "Come in here first. I'll just change."

Kyou smiled predatorily and an unheeded shiver climbed through Shin's spine. Why does he feel that the man was planning something? "Good. Oh, and change into something comfortable…maybe a couple of jeans. So you could move around more easily…."

"You look beautiful as always, Kumiko."

The woman ducked her head in embarrassment. "Thanks, grandpa."

"You look as beautiful as your mother, if not more," added Kousuke who especially passed by to wish her luck.

"Now that's really too much, Uncle Kousuke! But thanks!" she grinned, turning a shade in pleasure at being complimented by the man she regarded as a father.

"I'm not kidding—especially with your hair down like that…"

"Ah, yes…" she murmured wistfully, tugging at a thick lock. It wasn't for Shinohara—it was more for herself. A sign of defiance. She would not give Shin the satisfaction of knowing that she heeded his words. "I just thought I'd give it a try—"

"And you've thought right." Her eyes widened and she whirled, surprised. Her date was just standing behind her in his immaculate suit, holding a single red rose towards her. A flush passed through her face and she felt herself smiling consciously as he took her hand and lingeringly kissed her fingertips. As she marveled at the beautiful, freshly picked bud in her hands, Shinohara greeted and bowed before the two superiors. "Thank you for allowing me to take the ojou away tonight."

"For as long as you keep her safe, Shinohara," said Kuroda, crooked brows extending upwards in meaning.

"I understand."

"Well, enjoy yourselves, Shinohara, Kumiko…and I also give you my blessings…for as long as you keep her safe," repeated Kousuke with threatening emphasis, sounding more father-like than usual. The pointed glare he directed at Shinohara was received by the usual formal thin-lipped smile, an elusive borderline between courtesy and discourtesy.

"I shall keep that in mind. Shall we go, Kumiko?" he asked, extending his hand to her. Gingerly, Kumiko accepted and, with one final moment with Wada's boss and Kuroda, left.

The garden was remarkably cool. The tension they thought was not there dissipated with their disappearance. "Is it really alright…this?" said Kousuke, breaking the silence.

Kuroda looked at the younger man sharply before looking down at the shimmering pond. "I trust Kumiko's judgment."

"But…she seems different—troubled."

Silence. Then—

"I cannot doubt the ojou but, can that Shinohara really make her happy?"

"Only Kumiko can answer that question," said the older man sagely.

"Aa. You are right, Boss."

The two settled inside, and left the doors wide open. Early blossoms fell from the large tree outside, falling lazily onto the pool. Both were too occupied with their private thoughts to speak or begin a conversation. It was peaceful and comfortable anyway.

Kousuke's eyes widened suddenly as his eyes spanned through the garden. "Boss—"

"What is it?" But his eyes widened, too, as he saw it.

A black cat stared at them from under the shade of the tree. The two hardened men, superstitious as they are, suppressed their shudders.

"Kumiko will be safe," said Kousuke reassuringly.

Kuroda didn't answer; instead, he watched the black cat as it purred, and elegantly stretched its lithe body before jumping over the fence. The man frowned and internally cursed the creature for clouding his peace.

"Why are we here?" came Sawada's voice from behind the young Chief, voice lingering between a deadpan and a grumble.

Kyou swung his head at Shin, grinning cheekily, cigarette hanging limply between his teeth. "This is part of the family's territory. Gotta make sure everythin's safe and sound in the yer own yard, right?"

"I know that but—" Shin sighed, vainly trying to control his temper. Not that it would do much for him; it would probably amuse the older man. Someone bumped him from behind and apologized quickly. Then, there was another one, this time a child plummeting past him—no apologies this time. Yes, it was really that crowded. It was also incredibly noisy, that with noisemakers tooting all over the place, with balloons flying and popping randomly. Misplaced confetti were constantly being scattered either by with or by numerous sets of feet. It was amazing how there was hardly any room left to breathe in such a wide, wide space. It was so noisy, too; he had to strain to hear Kyou's voice.

"Yeah?"

"Kyou-san—" he stepped close to the other man and half-shouted over the ruckus. "Why are we here?"

"I told'ya, this is a patrol—"

"No! Why did you bring me here?"

"Eh?" Kyou scratched his head; Shin wasn't sure he feigning or was truly coincidentally stupid. "What's wrong with here?"

"This—" said Shin, losing his cool and gesticulating wildly at his surroundings. "—is the circus! The carnival!"

" 'Course it is! I swear, Young Master, you must be getting stupid," the grin on Kyou's face was too indiscernible.

Now, I'm the stupid one. "Get to the point. You want to spy on Yankumi."

"Wrong. I want us to spy on ojou."

Sawada wanted to die on the spot. I should've known. "Let me off the hook on this one, ok?"

Placing a heavy hand on Shin's shoulder, Kyou began his speech. "Young Master, I know you want to know how this will be turning out as well. I'm not sure how deep your feelings are for ojou (sniff) but as a man, I know how it is to love a woman (and a lot much more, I assure you). Love is a truly wonderful thing for us youth (Us? Shin grimaced). Love will keep us young and passionate and alive! So if you must, then fight for it! Even if it is most impossible! Don't give up, until you die! This is a man's pride: to fight for the one he loves! (sniffles)…."

Shin stared at the man helplessly as he sobbed his last lines, snot trickling, eyes twinkling both with shed and unshed tears: "This is the ultimate power of LOVE!"

Shit, thought Sawada as he awkwardly patted the man's back. People were really starting to look. He's really into it. And I can't even get what he's trying to say.

"Shin? Oi, SHIN!" Two clowns came bobbing towards him. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, he recognized the voices.

"Ucchi? Minami!" What the hell're you guys doing here!

As though hearing the unspoken question, Ucchi all but squealed excitedly. "Man, this is the place we've been talking about! Remember? That sideline thing Noda was saying? Well, we decided that we really wanted to tag along."

"Hehe. Extra cash is good, yah know."

"Yeah."

"So, where's Noda? Is Kuma here, too?"

Minami scratched his red nose in thought. "No—his Momma sent him to help out som'at—really can't remember what—but he said the guy he'll be helping'll be paying him a few bucks for the trouble."

"And Noda?"

"He's the cotton candy vendor—hey, um, you're Shin's uncle, right?" said Ucchi with a confused expression at the Young Chief. And there was a reason, too; the whole time, Kyou, red-rimmed and snotty, still had his heavy hands over Shin's shoulders as though his life depended on it.

"Uh, yeah, actually," muttered Shin as he slowly extricated himself from the grasp. Kumiko had told him that Kyou visited him when he was sick, and the woman excused him as a very close uncle. "Kyou is a distant relative."

"Oh? How distant?" grinned the freckled boy teasingly. Fortunately, the Young Chief didn't get the dirty joke; unfortunately, Shin was in no mood for idiocy.

"Distant," he glowered with emphasis. "Do you doubt me?"

"N-no—I wasn't meaning to annoy you; I'm a clown you know, trying to be funny," sain Ucchi hurriedly.

Sighing, the redhead rubbed the back of his neck; perhaps the stress was getting him a bit cranky after all. "It's okay, Ucchi. And you're funny without trying."

"R-really, Shin?!" he exclaimed, proud at being complimented by their leader.

"Hey, Shin! How 'bout me?" asked Minami. Shin resisted the urge to roll his eyes; it was just like his friends to get so worked up over something so simple. Yet, after being acquainted with the yakuza, he realized why they act as they do: they respected and loved him as their leader.

"Yes, you, too, Minami," and he had to grin in spite of himself. All the while, Kyou observed the interaction between the youths and smiled to himself. This boy—man!—was indeed the yondaime that the Kuroda's would need.

"Now, I'm hungry! Is that a hotdog stand I see over there?" said Kyou loudly pointing into a direction above the people's heads. When the two turned to look, he winked discreetly at Shin. With a nod, the redhead quickly disappeared into the crowd without the two noticing a thing.

"That's an ice cream stand."

"Ah, no matter; my eyesight must be getting really bad. I'm really hungry—and thirsty, too. Care to lead me somewhere?"

Minami looked at the man, startled. "Uh, sure, Mr—"

"Just call me, Kyou-san. Or Uncle Kyou if you want," offered the older man with a grin.

"Sure, this way, Uncle Kyou!" said Ucchi, immediately liking the gangster. "And—hey! Where's Shin?"

"Ah, don't worry 'bout him. I'm sure he'll be ok." He was indeed out of sight.

The teen blended stealthily into the crowd, moving in and out of stalls and tents, even taking a couple of balloons and pretending to look interested in some exhibits to look discreet. After ten minutes, he finally caught sight of them, and he was careful to shadow the two from a distance. He frowned; she was laughing at something the lawyer whispered into her ear. She seemed to be having fun. And—he noted with a mixture of annoyance and amusement—her hair was down, too; Yankumi surely did it to spite him.

Kumiko was dressed appropriately; she looked really beautiful in her outfit, especially without the donned glasses and the pigtails. The light makeup she applied was added bonus; her cheeks favored a pink blush, and her painted lips seemed so rosy and plump. He groaned; he could almost feel her mouth colliding with his again, could almost taste her slick tongue playing with his own. Shaking his head to calm his raging thoughts, he glanced at Shinohara and raised a brow. People didn't normally wear business suits in carnivals, do they? He looked so out of place. And Kumiko's arm was linked with his—that, too, didn't seem right.

He wasn't sure if it was bias which made him feel such, but at that moment, Shin felt that the only person he could picture with Kumiko at that moment was…himself.

"That last show was pretty hilarious, wasn't it?" Grinned Kumiko happily. The queasiness in her stomach was gone; somehow, she felt at home with Shinohara again. For some reason, she felt that she missed him tremendously.

Shinohara shared her expression. "Yes, it was. Especially when the magician tripped over his boot and toppled the table—"

"—and the rabbit was revealed to be there all along!"

"Haha!"

"A complete disaster!" they chorused, and they laughed gleefully again.

"I really thought you were going to punch that guy that was looking you over," said Shinohara amusedly.

Shocked expression. "Eh? He was?"

A smirk. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because if I did, you'd probably not be enjoying the show. And anyways, it can't be avoided; you're really beautiful tonight, Kumiko-chan."

Nudging his arm lightly with a tiny blush, she muttered. "You're just flattering me."

"But I am not." They reached a cotton candy corner. Turning to the man fishing out the candy with the stick, the lawyer asked. "Tell me, young man, isn't she the prettiest flower here?"

Kumiko opened her mouth to protest; instead her mouth dropped. It was Noda, wearing the cheerful carnival staff uniform, which was taking care of the stand!

As her mind whizzed with excuses she could offer, Noda answered in a cheerfully honest tone. "Yes, sir! Ain't seen nothing like her these past few hours." To her surprise and relief, she realized that, because of her look, Noda failed to recognize her. A slight twitch of annoyance followed; does she really look that dowdy at school?

Oh my gosh! My student's grinning at me like a manic idiot! And is he…blushing? Gods, the world must be coming to an end!

Her shrewd conscience seemed to mutter in her ear. There is some other student who showers you with attention…more so if I'm not mistaken.

Breathing deeply to control her temper, she smiled forcedly at Noda—why of all times did she have to think of Shin now? "Thank you," she said as her cotton candy was handed to her by Noda the vendor.

"No problem, cute miss."

The lawyer received his own candy and paid the youth extra bonus. Noda thanked him with a grateful bow as they walked away. "See? Even he agrees."

"Yeah, yeah. I get your point, Shinohara-sensei."

"You're really too formal with me."

Kumiko bit into her candy and looked up at him questioningly, "Then what do you want me to call you?"

"It's for you to decide, really. After all, we'll be getting married soon enough."

At this Kumiko frowned. She really hadn't answered him yet; why was he assuming so much?

"I—"

Cring. Criiiing.

The man took out his phone from his pocket. "Excuse me, Kumiko-chan—Good evening…yes…?"

The woman bit her lower lip and generously took the candy from him to convenience him. He thanked her with his usual smile and returned to his conversation. Meanwhile, Kumiko looked down at the two sticks of cotton candy on her hands. The date was turning well, she knew, but at the same time, she felt that something was wrong about the whole set-up. Peering up at the curt business-like expression on the lawyer's face as he nodded into his phone, she felt deep overwhelming sadness.

Was it really too late for her—for them—to have a chance?

"We could take down that—"

He was the first man I have ever truly loved outside my family. He taught me many things. I loved him…

But there was Shin…is it possible to love two people at the same time?

"—you need not worry about that—"

I've always been fascinated by the precise knowledge that the arithmetic provide. My passions used to be controlled, and now…

Kumiko longed to reach out to the man standing aloofly beside her, but for some reason, the cotton candy in her hand seemed to big an obstacle. She needed to know…she wanted to know…

If we stop here, would we have anything left? If I try to regain what's lost, would we have anything to look forward to?

She gulped and opened her mouth to speak; no words came out.

He chuckled gently. "No, of course not. But we could arrange that—"

Will we be happy together?

Do you love me?

Do I still love you?

Now. Now or never. She sighed and cleared her throat in early preparation. He was already saying his goodbyes.

"Don't worry…yes. And? Okay, okay. Be right there. Bye."

Her heart jumped. Be right there?

"Sorry for making you wait, Kumiko-chan," said Shinohara cheerfully as he carefully pocketed his phone.

"Uh—it's okay. Who was that, Shinohara-sensei?"

"Ah, work. I've been taking a sideline—a partnership with one of my college friends in the Uni."

The world seemed to spin as her tumultuous mind pieced the information together. She kept her voice calm. "Y-you're going to meet him now?"

His excited expression softened and he took her hands into his, unmindful of the candy sticks on her hand, or the obstruction it made between their faces. "Yes. I'm afraid I'll have to leave you—but it will only be a few minutes."

"It's important, huh?"

Shinohara nodded. She smiled forcedly up at him, feeling more and more upset. Yet she knew she should not interfere. Somehow, her questions were answered and they made her angry and helpless.

"Well—don't let me keep you."

"I'll be back, ok?"

"No—no, it's really alright. Don't let me interfere with your dreams and ambitions, alright, sensei?" It was already too much effort to keep her voice straight.

"I will call you then. Thank you, Kumiko-chan." And without another word, he hurriedly dropped a kiss onto her mouth and left off, disappearing into the crowd.

He left his cotton candy. The outside frost clouds were starting to melt, sugar particles dropping onto her hands.

It was too disappointing to fall in love with a dream.

The confused Kumiko tried to control her feelings, to level her breathing. So her first love left her on their first date. So what? It's not like she liked her as much as she used to; she had admitted to herself that she was building a self-made image of him.

But it still hurt.

Her throat began to constrict in unbearable intensities, her eyes stung as though teased with pins. The shaking of her cheeks and itching on her nose—these were all telltale signs of a heartrending, heartbreaking, heartbroken crying.

It was then that a familiar weight rested on her shoulder. Turning her head, she saw the face that never seemed so comforting. "Shin…" An unwanted tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another, and another. The expression on his face was unreadable; anyways, her eyes were too clouded to see much of it.

Deftly, he grabbed the untouched cotton candy from her—the one supposedly for Shinohara. "You should share if I'm gonna accompany you."

His cockiness urged a hysterical giggle from her. "Who said you're going to—"

But he silenced her by dabbing the wet trails on her face with his handkerchief. He commanded her to sneeze into the tissue he took from his pockets; like a child who growled and glowered for a moment, she obeyed. She felt better after that. "What are you doing here anyways?"

"You don't want me here?"

She hesitated. Disappointed, he began to step back but was held up as her fingers curled with his. "Don't leave."

Tightening his hand over hers, he gazed deeply into her eyes and whispered with emphasis. "I won't."

They remained like that for a moment. The noise around them seemed to dull, the sadness in her heart finally outweighed by this comfortable familiarity. Warmth gradually spread back to her system as they smiled at each other.

"Come on," he tugged. "Let's go grab some fun."

And with half-melted cotton candies and happier faces, they dove hand in hand into the carnival crowd.

Another cliffie! Heehee. Well, not exactly a cliffie. But it is an abrupt stop. Is it?

So, how was it? (nervously hides under a giant dish)

Small?

Big?

Or Big-big?

(No, it's notwhat you think. I just remembered a famous bubble gum commercial when I was like—five—which made such inquiries…and then they'll be saying, "This bubble gum is small!" "But I don't wanna small bubblegum…")