A/N: This took me forever to finish! And it's not even the one I wanted to finish first! The other one currently has no end =/
Title & Lyrics from one of my favourite songs, Come Away With Me by Norah Jones
Set in 4x13. Considering a few of you have been asking for another MerAdd one-shot from me I think this deserves reviews ;)
Love Kelly. X.
Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me
- Norah Jones
~x~
"I miss you" Meredith says quietly as you sit on the floor of a darkened supply closet, both of your backs against the wall. Your breath hitches just a little and your heart is pounding hard inside your chest.
"I miss you too" you whisper.
"Why did you leave?" she asks.
"You know why" You mumble, she should know why, wasn't it obvious?
"I'm sorry" just by the way her voice sounds you know the tears have started.
"I know" you whisper "I know Meredith"
"I just couldn't I, I should have been better, I should have…." she began to breathe heavily and you couldn't help but pull her over to you so her head buried into your shoulder.
"I know" you whisper "I know why you couldn't, I know that, but I just had to leave Mer, I had to, I had to make the decision for you"
"I love you" she sobs into your shoulder "I love you so much"
"I love you too" you whisper kissing the top of her head, your tears meshing with her hair.
"Please don't leave me, please Addie, please don't leave" she's still sobbing, and by now you are too and your both gripping onto each other for dear life, and then she looks up and catches your eye and your lips are instantly together, and you can taste the mixture of your tears on your mouth.
"I don't know what to do" you whisper against her mouth "I don't know what I should do honey, I love you, so much but, I left for a reason and, I don't think I can stay here anymore, I can't be in this place anymore"
"But we split up, me and him we, we split up"
"I know" you say kissing her again "But it wasn't just about that, it was, it's this place Mer, there's just too much, too many memories, I left for a reason"
"Then, then let me come with you" she said wiping the tears from her face and sitting up so she knelt between your legs "It's perfect, I'll just come with you, I'll come with you Addie, let me come with you"
"Meredith" you say placing a hand on her cheek "I can't ask you to do that"
"I can't ask you to come back here either"
You just sit and stare at each other, both of you sniffing back tears, she leans forward and kisses you again, your foreheads pressing firmly together as your lips leave one an others.
"I'm coming with you" she says with conviction "No ifs or buts, I am coming with you Addison, I am not letting you get away again, we've wasted 5 months apart because of my mistake, I am coming with you"
"Mer don't…."
"No!" she says almost shouting at you "No, I am coming with you, I love you!"
"And how are you supposed to explain it Meredith? You're doing a clinical trial with the guy, you have all of your friends, you have a life here!"
"Then I'll come after the trial, I'll tell the Chief that as soon as we're done I'm moving, and as for everyone else? All they need to know is that I love you, I don't care what they think Addie, I know I've been stupid but I can't go on like this anymore, I can't think 'what if' I just need to do, so please, let me come with you"
All you can do is pull the front of her scrubs and kiss her hard on the lips and then she's pulling your lab coat and she's lying on her back, and now you're lying in between her legs.
"Wait wait wait" she says pushing you away a little "You're letting me come with you right?"
"You had me at I miss you" you whisper before kissing her again.
She takes you to the airport that night, you go earlier than you need too but it takes you so long to say goodbye that it doesn't really make a difference. Your on the phone pretty much every night of the week and it's like you're getting to know each other all over again. It was after her appendectomy that you first crossed the line together, just once, a completely drunken night of angry sex. And then she was back with him and that was that. Well that was the plan. But you just couldn't keep away from each other.
It was when her half-family showed up at the hospital again that you crossed the line. She froze on rounds which was so unlike her, she's the type of person who can work through anything, but as soon as she came face to face with her father she froze. And you found her hours later in a supply closet shedding a few silent tears. And then the clothes were shed and skin was touched and names were whispered into ears and teeth were biting down on lips as pleasure you never thought existed ripped through your body.
You didn't mean it to be about more than sex. You didn't want that. But it happened anyway. And you found yourself falling in love with your ex-husbands girlfriend. And when she almost died you had to lock yourself in a supply closet to cry because you couldn't break down in front of them. And one day when you knew every person in her house was on-call you snuck in and lay with her all day, just talking, your arms wrapped around her, your heart on her chest to hear her heartbeat. You knew then you were in it deep.
If you really thought about it you always knew she'd never leave him. You knew she loved you more but she didn't like to hurt people. Nobody likes to hurt people but you figured Meredith had been burned so many times, she knew how it felt. But it just got too much. In the end it was too much. You couldn't come second anymore. You couldn't stand by and watch him kiss her and hold her and think about what they would be doing every time they were alone and it, it was just too much. So you left. Leaving her simply with a note saying 'I'll never forget us, love me'
It's two months after you left Seattle that she finally calls you and says she coming. And then you're waiting because she's driving up in her car with the last of her stuff. She'd been sending you boxes at least once a week. It should take her almost 2 days to get to your house and it's the longest 2 days of your life. And when you know it's close your sitting on your sofa, your foot tapping against the floor, and then you her a car pull up and you shoot towards the front door. And as you open it you see her getting out of her car. And you rush towards each other and you're kissing her hard on the lips. And you don't even bother to take her stuff inside, you just grab her hand and pull her up to your room. A room you'll share with her from now on. And you make love. And it's like nothing you've ever felt before. It's not until you both orgasm, twice, that you actually talk. There had been whispered 'I love you's' and screamed names but no conversation passed your lips until that postcoital moment.
"So, how did it all go?" you asked quietly as you run your fingers through her hair.
"It was, fine" she said with a slight sigh "They all think I'm crazy but, fine"
"You are crazy" you smirk "Does he know?"
"He knows I'm moving out here, he knows I'll be with you but I don't think he knows I'll be with you, I'm sure he'll be told, pretty much everyone else knows"
"You told the Chief?"
"Yeah" she laughed "After the initial shock was over he just said we need to keep each other happy and we have to keep in touch, and that he really wants us both in Seattle but if LA is a place we need to be to stay happy then he can forgive us"
"Right" you laugh "God I love you Mer" you say kissing her "Thank you for coming"
"Thank you for letting me" she says kissing you again "I love you so much"
All you can do is smile.
You don't think you've ever been as happy as you are when you're with Meredith. And you couldn't be more relived when you realize how well she fit in with your friends. She laughed with the girls and didn't take any crap from the boys. And when your brother shows up unannounced she holds her own and ends up befriending him in a conversation about her mother. And then your world is sent into an oblivion when Archer reveals he has worms on the brain. And even though you know your personal life will be ripped to shreds by this person, you know that Derek Shepard is the only man for the job. Even if it takes Archer having a seizure on your deck and having to be put into a coma to get him there. Because stubbornness is a Montgomery thing.
You arrive in the ambulance together, your holding onto her hand for dear life. As you step out your both pulled into a hug by the Chief. And then you let go of her hand for a brief second and you hug Derek, because it's Derek, you know he's probably not going to be impressed by you and Meredith but he was your best friend for almost 15 years and he's about to operate on your brothers brain, he deserves a hug.
"I'll do everything I can" he says softly into your ear.
"Thank you" you whisper as you pull away.
"Baby we have to go in now" Meredith said quietly holding her hand out to you, you stepped away from Derek and linked your fingers with hers, she brought them to her lips and kissed your knuckles. You could feel his eyes burning into you but you left anyway. This was about Archer. He could ask you questions later. When he talks to Archer about a surgery and Archer refuses you completely freak out, and your yelling and screaming and Meredith literally drags you from your towering stance over Archers bed and onto her lap.
"Sshh Addie, it's ok, it's ok" she whispers holding you tightly "I'm here baby, I'm here"
"Tell him Mer, please tell him it's the right thing to do, please, I can't lose him, he's my brother" you sob into her shoulder.
"I know sweetie" she says wiping your tears away, she slides out from underneath you and walks over to the bed slapping Archer hard on the face.
"Grow the hell up Archer Montgomery and stop feeling sorry for yourself, if Derek didn't think he could do this he wouldn't even offer, I know him, he will have thought this through over and over until his head was ready to explode, look at her Archer, that is your sister, by giving up you are hurting your sister, my girlfriend, and when someone messes with the woman I love I mess back, so, you either do the surgery or I make every last moment of your life a living hell"
"Your really feisty for such a small person" Archer mumbles.
"Well?" Meredith says impatiently.
"I want you to scrub in" Archer says adamantly "I want you as the resident on the case"
"Me too" you sniffle "Please Mer"
"It's not me you should be asking" Meredith sighs.
"Derek, please" you beg, you can see how many emotions are going through his head, all you can do is beg.
"Fine" Derek says firmly "We'll scrub in in an hour, prep the patient for surgery Dr Grey" he says before leaving the room.
"We're going to do this Archer" she says firmly, she turns back to you and places her lips softly against yours "Everything is going to be fine baby, I promise"
"Thank you" you whisper kissing her quickly "Thank you"
"You better keep hold of this one Addie, she's good for you" Archer smirks.
"I'm never letting go" you say squeezing Meredith's hand.
You sit and watch the surgery with Callie and Naomi who flew out after you, you make them talk about everything but the surgery because your heart is beating so fast. And you have to suffer through Mark's lesbian jokes and Callie poking fun at the fact that you both discovered your love for women within weeks of each other, you never tell them that you and Meredith discovered that fact a long time ago. You'll never tell anyone, only Naomi knows the truth and that's only because you drunkenly cried to her about it when you first moved to LA. And you let out a huge sigh when they pull off the surgery and you literally throw yourselves into Derek's arms and thank him over and over. And then you move on to Meredith and you kiss her hard on the lips.
"So" Derek starts with a small smirk "Since I just saved your brothers life and all, do I get an explanation?"
"You knew I was going to LA to be with her" Meredith replies cooly.
"Well yeah but, I thought you'd struck up some sort of, friendship" he shrugs "I guess I should've clocked on when Mark started referring to you as Ellen and Portia"
"He's a moron" you laugh "So, are we, ok?"
"Just, I need you to be honest with me, did this start before you left the first time"
"Yes" Meredith replies quickly, the not telling anyone thing was obviously out the window, you tense up considerably.
"How long?" he asks quietly.
"A couple of times after my appendectomy, then when we got together it stopped but, after my father came back with his daughter it started again" she says warily "I'm so sorry Derek"
"So our whole relationship, it was a lie, the whole thing"
"Derek I, I did love you" she whispers "I did I just, I loved her too and, I didn't want to hurt you"
"What do you think you're doing now Meredith?" he asks angrily.
"Derek please" you sigh "It's all in the past now"
"Whatever" he said taking a step back "You deserve each other"
"Derek, I'm sorry" Meredith says with a sigh.
"Yeah, me too" he says sadly "Archer should be fine, you'll be able to take him home soon"
"Why did you tell him?" you ask quietly as he walked away.
"I couldn't lie to him Addison, I've done that enough" she sighs "You still love me right?"
"Always" you sigh kissing her softly "We should go and sit with Archie"
"Right" she smiles "I just had to tell him Addie"
"I know" you whisper kissing her again "I know you did"
Your back home within the week and when you find out Archer's whoring around again he's out of there pretty quickly. You and Meredith make your way through the next 6 months with ease, you don't even worry about your relationship anymore, your together, end game. And it's at the end of those 6 months that you go down to Naomi's practice to say hello and you see Meredith walking out of her office. She tells you they were just talking. You can tell she's lying but decide to wait until you're at home to ask her what was going on. And then she tells you first anyway.
"I wasn't just talking, with Naomi, well we were talking but, not just talking" she stutters as she watches you change out of your work clothes in your bedroom.
"What were you doing?" you ask quietly.
"She ran a few tests for me"
"Oh my god! Are you sick?" you panic.
"No Addie, I'm fine, perfect" she says with a small smile "Perfect enough to maybe, carry a child"
"I'm sorry what?" you ask in confusion.
"We can go in and choose a donor tomorrow" she says calmly.
"But, but we haven't, we've never discussed this and, and…."
"You want a baby Addie, you've wanted a baby for….ever, and I see you watching, the families on the beach, the babies that go into the practice, you want a baby, and I want what you want, and you'll have to deal with the fact that they'll have my crappy genes but…."
You cut her off with your lips "Thank you" you whisper against them "Thank you" you say again.
"Your not mad?" she asks quietly.
"Of course not" you say with a smile "I'm far from mad, this is, you'd really do this for me?"
"I'm doing this for us Addie" she says squeezing your hand "For our family"
"Our family" you smile kissing her again.
She has the procedure done the next day and it's not long after that you discover it worked. You spend your time caring for her, giving her massages when she aches, giving her sex when her hormones kick in, feeding her her food cravings at ridiculous times in the night. You can't help but smile everytime you see her walking towards you with her bump on show. You find out it's a girl and your house turns into baby central, and the guys from the practice are dragged in to transform the guest room into the perfect nursery. Neither of you are 'pink' people and because she's a summer baby you fill the room with yellows and whites with the odd splash of green. You can't help but laugh when among the gifts you receive from your friends they give you a small white onesie with 'My Mommies Love Me' stitched across it.
She goes into labour early one morning and your in the birthing suite within the hour, and you spend the whole time holding her hand and wiping the sweat from her forehead. And you have to bite back a laugh every time she threatens Dell to get her more drugs or she'll throw him out the window. You end up kissing her to shut her up. It only takes 4 hours from the minute her water broke to the minute she starts pushing. And your both crying when Dell places the most perfect little girl you think you've ever seen on Meredith's chest. You name her Samantha Elizabeth Montgomery-Grey, she'll always be just Sammy to you.
Meredith's surprises herself at how well she copes with being a new mother, and if your honest your surprised at well you cope yourself, because just because you've always wanted it, and you work with babies everyday, doesn't mean you'd be a good mother. You go to Boston when Sammy turns two and you say the most perfect vows to each other. When Sammy starts kindergarten you make another visit to Naomi and using the same donor as before Meredith gets pregnant again. This time with a boy, who is named Connor William Montgomery-Grey almost the minute he's born. And after a few months with both kids you decide that two is just the right number.
You didn't think you'd ever get there, you and her together, married with two perfect kids. You can't say you didn't think about it but you honestly didn't think it would be your reality. And sometimes you just have to pinch yourself to make sure it's all real. It always is. And sometimes your heart still flutters when she looks your way, and you just know that it will probably always feel like that with her. And you can't help but smile when you come home one night from work and see her lying on the sofa sleeping, Connor lying on her chest, Sammy curled into her side. And you merely walk over and press a kiss onto her forehead before covering them with a blanket and starting the dinner. You love that that's your life now. You just, love.
~x~
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
Captain Corelli's Mandolin, St. Augustine (2001)
A/N: I haven't actually seen the movie I got that quote from but I read it and completely fell in love with it =) Amazing.