A/N: This was written for the LJ community mary_marshall, for their 12 days of Christmas in July challenge. We were to write a holiday-based fic.
Title: Pi Makes Everything Better
Pairings/Characters: Mary, Marshall
Rating: N for Nerdiness and G for Gluttony
Summary: Marshall celebrates Pi day. Mary endures.
Spoilers: None to speak of.
Mary noticed the smell before she saw him get off the elevator. The scent of buttery crust and warm fruit filled the 8th floor of the Sunshine Building as the elevator doors opened.
Marshall walked into the office, laden with pastry boxes.
Mary jumped up from her desk, looking ravenous. "Is it really today?"
"It is," said Marshall, grinning at her excitement. "The day when we celebrate that mathematical constant which helps us to calculate the length of the circumference of a circle."
"The day when you bring in insane amounts of pie!" said Mary.
Mary tried to grab the box off the top of the pile as Marshall was setting them down on his desk. "Hey! We aren't eating the pie until 1:59."
Mary gave him a dirty look and continued to open the box. "Marshall, how many years have I known you?"
"Seven," Marshall said, slapping her hand away from the boxes.
"And how many years have your brought in pie for Pi day?"
"Seven"
"And how many of those years have I waited more than the time it takes me to open the box?"
"None," Marshall said, dejectedly. "I thought maybe this year you might listen to me."
"I think I am going to start with the raspberry first. Then the French silk," Mary said, ignoring Marshall, and opening all the various boxes.
"You know the rules for free pie," Marshall said.
Mary turned attention from the baked goods, crossed her arms, and glared at her partner.
"I bought the pie to celebrate this auspicious occasion. Let me have my fun."
"Can I eat while I listen?" Mary asked. Marshall handed her a plastic fork.
"I learned 7 more places this year. Ready?" Marshall asked.
"Mrrawwhah," Mary said, digging into the pie straight from the box.
"3. 1415926535897932384626," he paused to breath, "433832795028841"
Mary applauded, halfheartedly and said, "Congratulations, you are officially the biggest dork in Albuquerque." More sarcastic comments were quelled, however, as she shoveled in more apple crumble.
Marshall pointed his finger at Mary, "Pi has had an incredible impact on how we calculate…"
"You know," Mary interrupted, "hearing your whole Pi rant is actually so much more interesting the 20th time. Please, do go on."
Marshall stuck his tongue out at Mary. "Fine, next year I'm not bringing in pie."
Mary smiled. "An empty threat! I know you too well."
"I do love pie," Marshall said, pulling out his own plastic fork. "Don't eat all the cranberry-orange!"
oOoOo
That afternoon Marshall and Mary were in the car, off on a routine witness check-in. They sat in a silent stupor, their full bellies making them exceptionally uncomfortable. Forgoing lunch, they had decided that cherry walnut and spiced blueberry were an appropriate substitute for anything more substantial.
Marshall's giggling broke the silence.
Mary looked over at him from the passenger's seat. "Do you find my obvious pain amusing?" she asked.
"No," Marshall said. "Well, I do find your inability to exhibit self-control in the face of anything fit for human consumption comical at times. But that's not why I was laughing. I made up a new Pi joke."
"Oh God kill me! Aren't I in enough pain?"
Marshall laughed. "Hah! You are stuck with me. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?"
Mary groaned.
"Pi in the sky! Get it?"
"I don't even understand the question, you nerd!"
Marshall opened his mouth to speak, but before he could utter a sound, Mary yelled, "don't you dare try to explain it to me."
Marshall shut his mouth emphatically and rolled his eyes at her. "Well, it's comic genius, I assure you."
oOoOo
Marshall shut off his computer, threw the last of the pie boxes in the recycling bin, and walked over to Mary's desk
"So Mary, I found out that there is actually a movie called Pi. I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight and watch it with me? We could order a pizza pie," Marshall smirked.
"A movie about some egg-head prattling on about the historical significance of math. I don't think so! Pizza or not, I will never forgive you for making me watch that documentary on that Avogadro character on Mole Day."
"I will admit that a life of quiet piety makes for bad TV." Marshall shrugged in a conciliatory fashion. "But this one is a lot better. It is psychological thriller about a man driven to the brinks of insanity in his search to find order in mathematics, amidst the sea of chaos and turmoil that rules the human existence."
Mary looked at him oddly. "Huh?"
"It has lots of blood and gore," Marshall said.
"Oh! Then count me in. But we are getting the meat lover's."
"I know you wouldn't enjoy a pizza unless it had four species of animals, and extra cheese"
"Darn straight! But if you tell one more pi joke, I was physically hurt you."
"What about a Pi-ku?"
Mary pulled her gun out of its holster.
A/N: Outside of the world of academia and Marshall-land, Pi day is not well-known.
If you are not familiar with this spectacular day (it occurs on March 14th in the states) I would encourage you to look it up on wikipedia. Also, the Pi joke is not mine. I found it on a Pi-day website. I'm sure Marshall's Pi jokes would be cooler than anything I could write up.